Jane I’m staring at Devon with utmost apprehension, my thoughts racing at a mile a minute. What in the Goddess’s name is he about to tell me? All of a sudden, I realize that whatever it is – I don’t want to hear it. My heart is racing every bit as fast as my thoughts, pounding violently against my ribcage. To imagine that yet another person in my life – one I taught myself to trust despite all my bad experiences, who I’ve come to trust above anyone else save Linda– might have betrayed me, is just too much to contemplate. Devon is watching me anxiously, trying to work up the courage to say whatever it is he intends. The hand I rejected a moment ago now clasps his other, shaking with the force he’s using to lock his fingers together. Already I know whatever is coming must be very bad indeed – or he wouldn’t be so nervous. “I’m sorry, Devon.” I choke suddenly, lurching to my feet. “I can’t do this. I can’t be here right now.” “Jane wait–” He stands as well, reaching towards me as if
Jane “So, what does that mean exactly? If I prick my finger in front of you, are you going to go all Dracula on me?” I squeak, my mind absolutely reeling with this revelation. “Of course not.” Devon laughs, “I wouldn’t have ever rejoined shifter society if I couldn’t control myself, Jane.” “It must be difficult though, if you see or smell blood?” I guess. “No harder than it is for you to see a nice meal laid out in front of you. As long as I’m not starved to the point of insanity, I can easily keep that part of me in check.” He explains “Well what about food? I mean I’ve seen you eat regular meals.” I’m leaning towards him now, so intrigued by this news that I can’t bring myself to be frightened or upset – not yet anyway. “I can eat regular food.” He shares, the corners of his mouth tugging into a frown as he watches my avid expression. “I just also have to drink blood a few times a week.” Now a healthy dose of fear does trickle through my senses. I’m trying to resist the urge
Ethan “Daddy!” Paisley’s sweet voice whispers in my ear, as one of her sharp little fingers jabs my side. “Daddy, are you awakes?” My eyes are still closed, and it feels as though I just fell asleep a moment ago. I’m not sure what time it is, but I know something must be up if Paisley is trying to wake me. Normally she climbs right into bed with me and snuggles up without a word, perfectly content to snooze until I’m ready to get up – even if her tummy is growling with hunger, she’ll happily choose cuddles over food. “Daddy,” she whispers again, giving me another prod. “No.” I moan, throwing an arm over my eyes dramatically. “I’m asleep.” “Daddy!” Paisley giggles, the sweet sound lifting my sleepy spirits. “I’m serious.” “So am I.” I grumble, pulling the covers up over my head to hide from the adorable creature. A moment later the duvet is yanked back down, and Paisley is sitting on my chest, determined to interrupt my rest. “Daddy I needs to talk to you.” Begrudgingly I peek
Jane Of all the things I expected to find when I came home today, Paisley, Ethan and his fated mate were just about the last things on my list. I’m so stunned when I see my ex-husband that it takes me a moment to realize that Paisley is buried beneath her siblings on the floor. It’s not until I hear her muffled voice crying, “Mommy!” that I’m able to pull my attention away from her father. “Paisley?” I respond hopefully, feeling my heart immediately leap into my throat. After a moment her little head appears, and her eyes widen when she sees my round belly. “Mommy you’re tummy’s ginormous!” She exclaims. She’s not the only one who seems preoccupied with it. Ethan is staring at my belly too – as if he’s never seen a pregnant she-wolf before. I try my best to ignore him, instead lowering myself to the ground to take Paisley into my arms. “I know, angel.” I laugh, pulling my daughter close as soon as she’s within reach. “You should have seen me
Jane The day after Paisley, Ethan and Nina arrive in the Dark Moon pack, we spend the day at the park with Devon and the other pups. We packed a picnic, went on a hike, and stopped at the playground afterwards so the pups could expend any energy they had left over. For the most part I watched Ethan with the pups, searching for any signs of strange behavior – anything that might explain the conversation I overheard last night. I’m sticking close to Devon and seriously debating just coming out and asking one or both of the men what’s going on. However the fact that they’ve clearly been colluding to keep me in the dark all this time makes me think I’m better off investigating on my own. I keep replaying their secretive whispers in my head, trying to untangle the hidden meanings in their words. For whatever reason, Ethan clearly asked Devon to look out for me and the pups. He’d said he didn’t have a choice… whatever that means. As I watched Ethan gallop
Jane Before I became a mother I used to sleep like the dead. Truly, a tree could fall right by my bed and I wouldn’t wake. I always slept through the night, and I never struggled to rest in cars, trains or planes. Now a cricket can chirp a mile away and I’ll jolt up like someone has screamed in my ear. Of course it’s not only sounds and disturbances that wake me now. My wolf always knows when one of my children needs me – even if they don’t make a peep. So when I wake in the middle of the night with my wolf urging me to check on the pups, I don’t question it. I slide out of bed and pull on my robe, striding out into the darkened apartment. I find Paisley standing in the middle of the hallway, staring at her father’s closed door. “Paisley, why are you still up?” I whisper, coming forward and brushing her hair back from her eyes as she looks up at me. “Cuz I can’t get in bed with Daddy when he’s with Nina.” She replies sadly. My stomach sinks,
Jane I call Linda first thing the next day, determined to figure out the truth. I’m still reeling from my conversations with Paisley and Nina, still trying to wrap my mind around the idea that Ethan is paralyzed. I hate to think that all this has been happening right under my nose, and I feel so stupid for not seeing it sooner. My wolf tried to tell me that something was wrong with Ethan, but I was so ready to believe he didn’t want me. I expected him to hurt me, so I didn’t question it when he did – even though we’d come so far together. My hands are shaking as I dial my best friend, wondering what Ethan could have possibly said to convince her to lie to me this way. She answers promptly, “Hello, my love.” Her voice is familiar and warm, and her betrayal cuts through me. Linda was my friend, not Ethans – she was supposed to be on my side no matter what. “Linda,” I breathe, barely able to contain my hurt. I’d planned on having an ope
Jane The next few hours are a terrifying blur. My labor came on fast after Devon revealed that Ethan is going to marry Nina if he survives his surgery. I suppose it was the shock, or perhaps all the stress of the last 24 hours building up and pouring over. Either way, my body quickly doubled over with contractions, and a fresh wave of fear assailed me. I’m only five months along, if I have my baby now it’s chances of surviving are next to nothing. Still, I know what labor feels like – even if I’d forgotten just how acute the pain is. I read once that women have a special hormone which makes them forget just how traumatic childbirth is, so that they’ll be more willing to reproduce again. Right now I believe it – I remembered that the pain was extreme, but living it is another thing entirely. My body feels like it’s trying to tear me apart from the inside out, and suddenly I’m furious with Ethan for putting this child inside me – for causing me this pa