Chapter 2

CW: Description of SA ahead

Lesley’s POV

Amanda cried. A LOT! I did the best I could to console her – because: Friendship bitches! – and I even did it without pulling the “I fucking told you so!”-card. Because I fucking told her so! But I think she learned her lesson and there was no reason to rub it anymore in her face.

A very, very long while later, she had fallen asleep, and I snuck out of her room. Downstairs I ran into her father, Adrian. He was a pack warrior – very much respected back in my father’s days – but now, like most of the pack warriors, he’d lost his pride in being a warrior, as he didn’t see it very honorable to kill women and children. Every rogue – man, woman, or child – was killed. Anyone who trespassed was killed. And anyone – even pack members! – who disrespected the alpha, were killed. How I’d stayed alive for so long, I have no idea--- Or rather, I knew, but I was in denial…!

“Thank you for sticking up for her,” he whispered, sounding just as dead inside as he looked on the outside. “I know it hasn’t been easy.”

“It’s fine,” I answered with a slight smile. “How’s Doris?”

Doris was Amanda’s mother and Adrian’s mate. She was a funny, outgoing, and all-around fantastic person to be around. But a feminist to the bone. Hence why she didn’t mind her daughter satisfying her needs. You know: “If boys can, girls can”- sort of argument. Now she was sick, but because she was a rank 3 pack member – a rank system that my uncle had made up – she wasn’t allowed to get treatment from the pack healer.

“She has good days and bad days,” he answered honestly, treating me more like an adult than a teenager, and forcing his frown into a small, tired smile. “But as long as there’s life, there’s hope, right?”

He asked because he knew I’d do everything in my power to help--- unlike the actual Luna of this pack. I’ve been doing this for as long as I can remember. I would follow my mother around, and ask the same questions she did, and by the time I was 8, I knew every single member of this pack, their background, and their stories. My dad used to say, that I was too young and that I should play more. But mom wouldn’t hear a word of it. She thought it was healthy for my development that I got to know the pack. I happened to agree. And being daddy’s girl, I’d just batted my lashes at him, and he’d laugh and agree with everything I said.

Once they passed, I continued doing what needed to be done…

“She’ll pull through, I’m sure of it,” I answered smiling a little more sincerely, knowing I had a smile that could cure cancer – or so they said! “Besides, Tanja is coming home next week! I’ll make sure she’ll come by to look in on you guys.”

Finally, his smile turned sincere and there was a glimmer of hope in his eyes. Tanja was a healer in training, but she was doing her training in a neighboring pack, visiting her home once or twice a month. And while the old pack healer didn’t dear to go against our alpha’s orders, Tanja lurked around the pack at night, doing what she could for the lower-ranking members.

Adrian nodded and followed me to the door, bidding me good night. I did the right thing and said good night back, but there was no way in hell I was going to have a good night. Remember? I’d mutilated the Alpha’s son? If the visit to the principal’s office was bad, it paled in comparison to what my uncle had planned for me…

“So,” my uncle said softly, poison dripping from every word and the threat to my life was very real. “You think you can attack my children and get away with it?”

I knew I was in trouble! My heart was racing, and my hands got sticky. I honestly felt sick…

What? You think I was some superhuman? I wasn’t! I sometimes got so scared, that my stomach felt like a rock. I felt embarrassed and humiliated to the point where I wanted to cry and die! And I sometimes felt so weak and broken, that I honestly believed I would never be whole again. Even my wolf cowered away in the back of my mind. Broken, like everything else about me. She didn’t speak to me and sometimes I barely felt her there. Even my wolf knew… I was worthless, useless, and unwanted. I sometimes wished my uncle would just kill me and end my suffering. But my punishment was my uncle’s favorite entertainment…

I stood with crossed arms and avoided his gaze. And of course, put up my brave face. I knew what was going to happen next, but there was no way in hell I was going to give this pig the pleasure of knowing how I was fucking freaking out on the inside.

You see--- I was 10 when my father died. Before my wolf appeared. I moved into the pack house attic, with the other two omegas – both males in their early 20s back then. They’d been pack warriors and outright blamed my uncle for killing my brother, so my uncle turned them into Omegas. You’ll need to remember them later…

From time to time, my uncle would call me down from the attic. Often late at night and when most people in the house were asleep. I was too young to work so all I had to do all day, was go to school and do my homework. But he told me, I had to earn my living in the pack. He fed me, clothed me, and gave me a home – MY home I might add! – and now I had to give something back.

I don’t remember the first time so well. I cried, and he told me to shut the fuck up, before beating me multiple times. But I do remember the routine. I would get called down from the attic and told to meet him in the guest bedroom. He would always be sitting on the bed, so he was the first thing I saw when I got through the door.

He would tell me to lock it.

I did that.

Then to take off all my clothes.

I did that.

He would look at me for a long time. Enough for me to start shivering from the cold. And even then, he would just smirk and watch me some more. When enough time had passed, he would call me over to sit next to him.

I also did that.

It was warm sitting next to him, but I would still shiver, knowing what would come next.

He grabbed my waist and placed me on my back in the center of the bed. My hands over my head and legs spread. Then he would be looking again. He would touch me. His touch sent cold shivers through my entire body, making me feel sick. Then he would get undressed himself and lie next to me. For some reason, he’d always whisper his mate’s name in my ear. Saying sweet things about her. I guess he wanted me to be her, now that she was old and saggy. And – oh yeah! – in a wheelchair! She’d had a skiing accident 6 years ago that severed her spine, making her paralyzed from the waist down. I guess when my uncle didn’t get to satisfy his needs with her, he settled for me. Like I could replace her…

But I couldn’t.

I was just a girl with a naked, grown-ass man on top of me…

The first time I could barely walk when I got back to the attic. I lay down, sobbing. A snarl from one of the sleeping warriors to ‘shut up’ and I immediately closed my mouth, scared to enrage them too. But to my surprise, the other one got up and came over to me. Sitting across from me, I could see his dark eyes in the spare moonlight coming from the loft window.

“Hey, little one,” he said with a soft smile and laid next to me. He reached out his hand and pulled a stray hair out of my face, revealing my pink eye and swollen cheek. “Did he hurt you?”

“Yes,” I nodded in a barely audible whisper. He sighed.

“Listen, if you want to survive, then don’t let them know that they got to you,” he informed me, every single one of his words stinging in like knives in my heart. “Never let them see that they hurt you. Never let them see you sad or cry. Never let them know, they broke you.” He tucked me in and held me close to his chest; feeling the warmth of his body, made me stop shivering for a while.

“That’s how you’ll survive as an Omega.”

That’s when something inside me snapped. My heart was hurting so bad and I felt like everything good had left my body and I would never be happy again. Perhaps – in a way – that was true. The only way I would survive this feeling was to pretend, it wasn’t there.

I lay down and pretended that it hadn’t happened. That I wasn’t hurting. That the pain wasn’t real.

And in the end, I got very good at that…

I later learned that the omega's name was Dean and, for a short while, we were friends. He looked out of me. In time, we became more than friends actually. Dean became like a brother to me. Snuck food and water to me, when I was being punished, and took the blame for things that were really my fault... He was the second son of our old beta and before his rank was taken, he'd been one of the strongest warriors in the Highland pack. But he never complained about being an omega. He'd tell me over and over again, that a warrior’s job was to protect the alpha bloodline and that meant me. He'd always treat me kindly and fairly. Cleaning me up, every time I'd had a bad beating or Uncle Harry had been too rough; reminding me to not let it show. Had I'd seen Frozen at this time I would be able to relate!

The best he did for me though, was when he secretly taught me self-defense. That’s who I ever stood a chance against a big bully like Trevor! Everything I knew about kicking ass, Dean taught me. And honestly, I loved him for it!

That’s until 2 years ago…

The day I turned 14 and my wolf surfaced, everything changed. I now could shift to my wolf form, but I also now could become marked with a male-wolf scent. It kinda goes a little something like this: any mature she-wolf who sleeps with a male-wolf will get his scent. If that male wolf is an alpha it means she is his! Marked with scent! Not marked and mated! That’s only for the mate. In other words, if my uncle went along and did whatever his fucked up mind called whatever the fuck, he was doing to me, it would be as good as a written confession that he was breaking the law! And although child-protective services and women’s rights are a bit outdated in the werewolf society, we still protect those too young to defend themselves. He would be forced to step down as alpha. Because--- werewolf law, bitches!

I honestly was looking forward to the day. In my mind, only one of two things could happen. One: he would stop and leave me the hell alone, or two: he would continue and resign, leaving us in the mercy of our neighboring packs. I didn’t care if it was option one or two. Heck, I didn’t even care if I was would be at the mercy at some strange pack. ANYTHING was better than this…

But unfortunately, my uncle had 4 years to plan in advance.

I was called into the guest bedroom once again. To my surprise, I saw Dean sitting on the bed. My heart sank. What the---?!

Judging from the expression in his eyes, he was just as surprised as I was…

“You’re a big girl now, sweetheart,” I heard my uncle say, earning both of our attention. He was sitting in the corner of the room; his hands resting on the armchair and legs casually crossed. A smirk on his face, making his otherwise straight face look like something from IT! A chill ran down my spine. What the hell was going on here?!

"No…," I heard Dean mutter behind me, while he slowly got up from the bed. He shook his head, backing away from us. His face was pale and panic was written all over. I think Dean figured it out before I did. I mean--- How the fuck was I to figure this sick pig out?

“Mate her!”

My heart sank. He used his alpha voice. He commended Dean to…!

The next thing I knew, Dean’s shaking hands were grabbing my arm and pulling me close to him. In only a matter of seconds, he’d ripped my clothes off and threw me on the bed.

I screamed, trying to pull away. What---?! Why would my uncle---? But as everything inside me turned and twisted with fear and pain, I already knew the answer to that question: Because he liked it! Because that’s the kind of man, my uncle was…

I quickly jumped up, ready to fight back. To my surprise and somewhat relief, Dean had stopped. He looked like he was fighting to gain control over his own will. Over his wolf! I gave him ‘A’ for effort. But an Omega can’t resist an Alpha’s command…

“Think of her,” my uncle suddenly continued in the same deep, animalistic voice. “As your mate!”

The second he said that Dean’s eyes turned completely black, and I knew he was in no way in control of his actions. I tried to fight it, but he was bigger and stronger. He even knew all my moves. It didn’t take me long to realize: that it would all be over quicker if I didn’t fight it.

So, I stopped fighting. Him, my uncle, my fate… I gave up. I knew I was never going to let them see me broken, but that’s when I stopped fighting it. I heard my wolf cry in my head. And that’s the last time I heard from her…

“Good, my little omegas,” my uncle said and got up, once Dean had finished. We were lying on the bed next to each other. Both panting for air.

“Clean yourself up and get back to the attic,” he continued, passing us like we were nothing but paintings on the wall. Just before he left the room, he turned to us again, with a satisfied smile: “And remember: this is our little secret!”

Fuck that Alpha voice! One day I’ll strangle him with it!

Suddenly, I heard Dean sob. I looked over. His hands were covering his face and a tear ran down his face.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered, gasping for air, unable to face me. “I couldn’t---”

He couldn’t finish the sentence either before his throat closed up and more tears started to fall down his face. I watched him for a while. My soul basically gone at this point. It was kinda ironic, that he was the one who told me never to show emotions almost 4 years ago. And now he was lying next to me – crying because the exact same thing had happened to him that he told me not to cry about…!

I took a deep breath and hugged him. Or as much of a hug you can give when you’re lying like this.

“I don’t blame you,” I whispered. I lied. I did want to blame him. Him for not being stronger and disobeying the Alpha command. My uncle for misusing his power. My dad for dying… I wanted to blame so many people for this, but--- It wouldn’t change. All I could do was to keep moving forward and keep smiling. Never let them know that they got to me.

Dean placed his hand on mine but removed it quickly after. I was grateful for that. We didn’t talk. He got up, showered, and left the room. I did the same, but when I got upstairs, Dean was gone. Later I learned that he had run away and had become a rogue. When I heard this, I locked myself in the janitor’s closet at school and cried my heart out. I know what he’d done to me, but he was my true, only, and real best friend. Now, I was utterly and truly alone…

The morning after, my uncle forced me to take a ‘the morning after’ pill. And soon I was popping those babies like candy! With Dean gone, my uncle would bring rogues, warriors, and whoever the shit crossed his path in the right way to the guest bedroom. Once a month he would force me to take a pregnancy test and get myself checked out. So far, I’d only had one STD which luckily was easily treated. But once the realization hit my uncle that I wasn’t immune to so much dick, he finally instructed my ‘soon-to-be-rapist’ to use a condom. And I didn’t fight them off either. I just lay there and waited. From the corner of my eye, I could see my uncle help himself. His breath was shallow and his mouth slightly opened, as he in a stern rhyme caressed his stiff junk. I closed my eyes. I did not need that picture stuck to my retina…

So why didn’t I just run and leave this hellhole? HA! Like I didn’t think of that every single fucking second of every single fucking day! I had been close to running away so many times. Like literary, life as a rogue was definitely better than this! Rogues were wolves without a pack, but the reason they were dangerous was that without the link to the pack, they went mad – literally!- but being crazy sounded way better than this--- But I couldn’t get myself around to doing it. This was my father’s pack! Everything he worked so hard for to protect and cherish. What he loved, almost as much as he loved his mate and kids. I just couldn’t leave! I hated everything here and I hated what my uncle had turned this pack into, but I still couldn’t leave. I felt like I would be abandoning them to a lifetime of misery. So, I condemned myself to a lifetime of misery…

Also, this time, my uncle left the guest bedroom once he was finished, instructing us not to tell anyone. My punishment was over and the man next to me – this time a pack warrior he wanted to punish too – panted next to me, confused as hell.

“I’m sorry,” he said in utter and complete shock. They said that a lot. Sometimes I believed them – like this one. He seemed more like a one she-wolf kind of man and I’m pretty sure he’s a virgin. Or was… Others just apologized, because it’s an icebreaker.

“I know,” I muttered and got up, heading for the shower.

“Wait,” he suddenly said getting up and turning to me. I turned to him, watching his confused face. “Is this…?” he started to ask but trailed off.

“Is this what? Normal?” I scoffed, crossing my arms in front of me. “For me yes, but if you behave in the future, I’m sure you won’t get punished again.”

“You think this is funny?” he asked, disgust and venom dripping from his voice. He got up, towering over me like a dark, threatening power.

“Yes, I think this is hilarious,” I sneered back, not afraid of the dark figure, whose face I would force myself to forget by tomorrow. “No, you idiot! This is my punishment too, for breaking Trevor’s nose. Now, if you’d excuse me, I want to wash you off, before I have to write a geography report that’s due tomorrow!”

“I’m sorry,” he said again, backing off and sitting down on the bed, looking all confused and helpless. “I---I don’t know what to think.”

He looked at me like I could give him some answer. Some help…

“Then don’t,” I told him like I told so many others before him. “I find that that helps in the long run.”

It’s true!