Chapter 3

GABRIEL

Like a kid in a candy store, that's what watching her reminded me of. She took to the water on sight, and had I not dragged her out each day after giving her swimming lessons in the mornings, she'd have spent the whole vacation in the tropical paradise in the water. That worked out in some ways because she was so tired at night that there was no question of us making love.

She'd be asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow most nights, but tonight she'd worn me down, and I, of course, had given in. I hated the look of uncertainty on her face when I tried to gently turn her away. And since I didn't quite yet have a ready answer as to why we should put the brakes on, I gave in, not that it was a hardship, except for the guilt I knew would follow.

Now she's asleep, cuddled up to my side while I lay awake thinking about our future, both hers and mine. In truth, I was trying to figure out the best way to fix what I now saw as my screw-up. I'd made up my mind not to do this again, not to take any more from her than I already had.

The first time could be explained away; she'd needed me then, and though I should've known better, I can live with that. But still, I had taken things further, knowing that in the end, I'd just be one more person who disappointed her in life. That's not the person I've trained myself to be, but I can't see a way out that won't hurt her, and dammit, she's a weakness I wasn't prepared for.

While she's been having fun, spreading her wings, and enjoying things she never got the chance to before, I've been able to keep my inner thoughts well hidden. But tonight, they haunt me, and no matter how I try, I can't find the answers. There's no easy way to put distance between us without hurting her already bruised heart, and it's killing me.

Funny, in all my studying, I never touched on the subject of love and relationships; I never thought I needed to because it was never supposed to be a part of my life; she was never supposed to be part of my existence.

Now looking down at her sleeping face, I wished for the first time in my life that I could escape the taint and curse of my conception. That I was worthy of her. I could almost imagine a life with her. I almost long to be there for her evolution, for the day she becomes the complete being I know lives inside her.

I'd love to be there when she finally comes into her own; I'd love to see the woman she becomes, strong, independent, and sure of herself in a way she's never been. I was shocked to feel a tear gather in the corner of my eye, which I closed quickly to stave it off. I hugged her a little tighter, kissing her forehead as she sighed in her sleep and got closer. Her life is only just beginning, and once I get rid of all the obstacles in her way…

I can tell her the truth, that I can't offer her anything more than what we have right now. I'm not afraid of her rejection but warier of what it would do to her. No matter how I look at it, I can't avoid bringing her pain because no matter what, in the end, I still took Gianna's innocence. If I continue with this, I might end up being the person who brought her the most pain.

Shit! What am I going to do now? I can't desert her now, not with things being the way they are. But I must find a way to put distance between us while still helping her. I also have to find a way to protect my heart, to keep her from getting in any deeper because all of this is tearing me apart.

This guilt each time we make love isn't going to get better with time; it's never going to go away. I'll only be prolonging the agony for both of us. I feel like a monster each time I touch her now because I know there's only one way for this to end. Part of me wants to continue, to leave things as they are and let them run their course.

I've even played around with the idea of juggling both her and my revenge. It can be done if I change the end I have planned, but that would entail making some changes which I can't see happening. I've known all along what has to be done with Ricci, what must happen between him and I. The final showdown, if you will. I've imagined it a thousand times and have made peace with it. But her presence in my life has made the picture a bit fuzzy.

So now, I concentrate more on her issues with her father and stepfamily as a way to make up for what I'm sure will be a blow to her when I leave. It's the only thing left for me to do, my only saving grace at this point since I can't go back and replace her virginity. Something I am now feeling hella guilt over taking.

I think in the back of my mind, I had selfishly hoped that I could have my cake and eat it too. That I could find a way to have my revenge and keep her by my side, but the conflict in my mind won't allow me to see my way clear to having her or even having a life after I take out Ricci. The selfish part of me keeps hinting at the fact that this thing with Ricci is going to take time so I can keep her with me until the very end, but like I said, it's selfish to think that way. She deserves better.

I rolled away from her once I was sure she was asleep and wouldn't wake without me there to hold her. The doors leading to the balcony were left open, allowing the ocean breeze to cool the room naturally as the moon hung over the water amidst a blanket of stars. I sat out there, gazing out over the water deep in thought, putting my shit aside to focus on hers. No matter what the end might be for us, I won't leave her until everything in her life has been set to rights; that much I know.

Things are coming along well back home. I'd called the jailhouse pretending to be Jimmy to mess with Becky minutes before we left to come here. When she answered, I just hung up as soon as I heard her voice knowing that that would terrorize her even more. It may seem childish but psychological warfare is just as effective as the physical.

I've mapped out everything in my head to get the best result for Gianna. So far, I have someone working on building a case against Becky for her mother's murder, something I haven't told her as yet in case it doesn't pan out. Greta's words may not be enough to have her arrested, but if we handle it right, we just might luck out there.

There's no statute of limitation on murder, but I don't expect Becky to own up to what she'd done, so it's her word against the housekeeper. So, I'm trying to find a way to get her to confess, which isn't going to be easy unless she's brain dead. That's why I've been trying to push Victoria over the edge because I'm almost certain she knows some if not all of what her mother has done.

Young as she was back then, there's no way that over the years, she hasn't known what her mother is. I'm banking on the fact that she won't want to go down with that ship. Felix had been dumb enough to adopt her, or so he thinks, so she'd use that in her favor, or at least I'm hoping that's the way it goes.

It's the reason why I've ostracized her from her friends and separated her from her mother, this way, she has time to think, to imagine what her life will be like if she loses everything. As far removed as she is now, being kicked out of school, then having to spy on the lavish party from a distance, I know she won't want to be even farther away, which will happen if she gets kicked out with her mother, so she'd want to hang on to what little bit she has, which she can only do by staying in Felix's good graces.

It's diabolical, I know, using the daughter against her mother, but those two are one and the same as far as I'm concerned. I've overheard plenty since bugging the Fontane home, but nothing yet about the murder, only enough to make him see them in a different light when I finally expose them. If all I wanted was for him to be disappointed in them and himself, I would've outed them already, but that's small potatoes compared to what I'm after—total and complete annihilation.

***

"Have the girls been posting about their vacation online?" I pulled Anna aside after breakfast the next day while the others got ready for a day on the yacht. It was our last day here, and I was ready to get back home and put my plans into action. There were only a few weeks left until Paris, and I wanted this thing with Fontane out of the way long before then.

Gianna seems to think that once she exposes the truth to her dad through Greta that that will be the end of it, but I know it's going to hit her hard, and I am preparing for it.

She'll be busy with all the debutant bullshit, which should help, but I know she's going to break at some point no matter how brave she's pretending to be now. At least once a day, when we're alone, I bring up her mom and the way she feels about what had happened to her as a way to get her to face it and not bury her head in the sand like she's been doing; this way, she too will be ready for the fallout.

She hates it, which is only normal, but the more she talks about her feelings, the easier it's becoming for her to swallow the reality that her mother had been murdered. Now it was almost time to head back home, so there was no more putting it off.

"Of course, with minute detail just like you asked."

"Cool, thanks. Don't forget, no pictures of Gianna, just talk up how much fun she's having." She rolled her eyes and grinned.

"I know; you've told us a thousand times already." Yes, I have, but they have no idea why I'm making them do it, or maybe they do. They're my sisters, so I'm sure they must have some idea of what I'm up to.

I know it's eating away at Victoria that she's not here, and Gianna is. I'm using her irrational jealousy and envy against her to send her into a tailspin. By the time we get back home for the final confrontation, she'd be ready to sell her mother down the river, which is what I'm banking on.

It's petty as hell and something that shouldn't work with someone who has more than two brain cells, but I know it'll work on her because she's weak. The only thing left to do is to show her that if she stays on the same boat as Becky, they will both sink. I have no doubt she'd jump ship, especially if it means she can keep the life she has now. In short, I'm going to use her to destroy her own mother, and I have no qualms about that shit.

I've had Gianna send texts to her dad, letting him know she was okay and having a good time. She'd questioned me at first and didn't want to since she was still a bit salty with him, but I'd convinced her and even got her to call a time or two because I know Victoria would listen in to those calls. She does a whole lot of muttering to herself since there's no one for her to talk to now that her friends have deserted her.

I know from her murmurings that she was escalating; her obsession with Gianna and I was sending her over the edge. I learned too that she and Felix hardly ever spoke to each other; in fact, he spent more time talking to the portrait in his living room than anyone else, and some of his words led me to question his actions towards his daughter in the past decade or so.

He talks to Adrienne as if she were here, asking her for guidance, apologizing for letting things get this far with their daughter. It's as if he really hadn't noticed anything wrong until I came along and tore the blinders off; whatever. I refuse to make any excuses for him, but I think there's some deep-rooted shit going on with him, something I hadn't picked up on until I eavesdropped on his conversations with his dead wife.

"What you up to now, puppet master?" Lance caught up to me on the dock as we began to board the yacht behind the girls who had gone ahead chattering away with excitement.

"Why are you calling me that?" He snorted and looked at me side-eyed.

"Because I know you. You've been on that computer the whole time we've been here, and I know it's not for school. Tasha has been broadcasting every little thing you and Gia do online until I want to bury her in the sand, and you haven't stopped her. I know how much you hate that shit, so I came to the conclusion that you're up to something."

He's another one I have to keep at arm's length. If he knew what I was up to, he'd stick his nose in my shit and make my life difficult. I hate the thought of leaving him almost as much as I do her, but I'm going to make sure they're both taken care of no matter what, so hopefully, that will make up for it.

"Lancelot!"

"What's up, brother?" I slung my arm around his shoulders.

"You know I love you, right?" He stopped walking and stared at the side of my head while I dragged him along beside me.

"What're you planning?" The worry in his voice almost made me regret giving him those words.