Episode eight

As I nestled my head on Ebuka's laps he bent his head low saying endearing things to me which made me blush.

It felt as if we were in a world of our own and nothing could go wrong.

I didn't want it to end, at that moment his wife called him on the phone.

"Hello honey," Ebuka said to his wife and turned over to smile at me.

I smiled back at him but I felt dirty and worthless. He was married with children. He actually was supposed to be faithful to her and here he was with another man, defiling his body.

He asked his wife about their kid and they all spoke to him, one after the other. I knew this because he promised them toys and called them by their names.

I felt like a knife was driven into my heart when he ended the call with "I love you" to his wife.

Immediately he ended the call there was an awkward silence between us.

I stood up and went to the bathroom and shut the door.

"What have I become," I thought to myself. "How did I get to the point of adultery with a married man."

I remembered the seduction trap by Mrs. Okeke and how I felt righteous for not falling into it, however, here I was making love with someone's husband and father.

Ebuka must have felt something was wrong because he came knocking on the door.

"Bisi, are you alright," he asked me

I ignored him, I felt weird and dirty.

He knocked harder this time probably worried by now. When he threatened to break the door I reluctantly answered him.

"I'm okay, would come out soon."

I quickly washed my face and came out.

Ebuka was sitting at the edge of the bed when I came out of the bedroom.

He looked me over and asked what was wrong with me.

I told him I was okay and just had a little stomach upset.

He seemed satisfied with my answer and laid back on the bed.

I stood at a distance and watched him, I couldn't bring myself to lie down beside him.

"Bisi, come back to bed. I miss you already."

"Lier," I said to myself. "You just told your wife I love you."

I was only in boxer shorts and I quickly wore a Shirt and Jeans and my loafer's shoes and left the room. I needed to clear my head.

I took a long walk with no destination in mind, as I walked past a restaurant  I decided to go in and order lunch. I had missed breakfast and it was almost past lunchtime.

 It wasn't a busy hour and there were many empty tables. I was grateful for the solitude, so I chose to sit at the farthest corner of the restaurant.

Minutes later a waitress was at my table to take my order and I noticed how she tried to flirt with me. I felt sorry for her because it was a waste of time.

When she noticed I wasn't interested she left me alone. I watched from my corner as people came in and left, some as couples others alone.

I felt jealous when I saw a couple walk in, hand in hand and I wondered if I would ever get to flaunt whom I love someday.

Would society allow me to love who I love and be with who I choose to be with?. The answer was there deep in my heart.

My food arrived unceremoniously and I noticed it was another waitress that brought it. 

She didn't even bother me with a smile, I guess her colleague must have warned her of what a beast I am. The thought made me giggle a little.

The meal consisted of a sumptuous plate of garri and a bowl of Ogbono soup (a popular food in Nigeria). 

I ate my meal in silence and ordered a cold bottle of beer, I needed alcohol to calm myself down.

I didn't want to go back to the hotel after my meal, I wasn't ready to face Ebuka yet, so I took an Uber to the beach. 

I loved the serenity and the waves were therapeutic for me.

I found a quiet place and sat facing the beach, the ripples of the sea, the movement of people gave me so much insight into how life was.

So many different faces each facing one challenge or the other, I remembered what my favorite aunt once told me "As our faces are different, so was our needs."

This quote now made so much sense to me. The challenges I was facing now aren't the same as my counterparts in different parts of the world might be facing.

My family and relatives even my country would never allow me to live as a gay man or get married to a man. However, in some parts of the world, it was accepted and celebrated.

The long stretch of the beach and it's tide made me realize the long road and challenges I would face if I want to live my truth.

I thought about my parents. I had not called them for almost 2 weeks now. I felt so lonely and needed their familiar voice for comfort.

At the second ring, my father picked his call.

"Hello, father, good afternoon," I said, feeling happy again.

"Bisi, how are you doing over there, hope you are okay."

"Yes father, I have just been busy."

"Good, please don't engage in anything that would bring shame to us, though I trust you."

My heart nearly jumped out of my mouth." I'm a gay father would that bring you shame." I so much wanted to confide in him but held my peace.

"Your mother is here, let me give her the phone." He said 

"Bisi my son, you haven't called us for over a month now." Mother said, exaggerating two weeks into a month.

"Mother, how are you? It's just been two weeks." I said laughing.

"But it felt like a month." Mother joined in the laughter.

"Hope you are taking care of yourself over there, don't forget to eat well."

"Yes mother, I will."

"Tolu our neighbor's son, you remember him don't you." She asked me

"Yes, mother, I remember him. We went to the same secondary school". I answered. 

Tolu had been my good friend growing up though we hadn't been in touch for months.

" Well he is getting married next month, his fiance is even pregnant."

"That is good news mother, congratulations to them," I replied to my mother, I already had an idea where the conversation was heading to and I braced myself for the inevitable.

"When are you getting married, Bisi? you are not getting any younger you know that."

"I know mother, hopefully, next year," I said to avoid getting into an argument with her.

Mother was happy with my response and I was satisfied at least I had 14 months to come up with another excuse for not getting married yet.

Mother and Father's health was okay and her arthritis was not as painful as before. We said goodbye and I promised to call before the end of the week.

It was getting late and I got up and started my journey back to the hotel. 

Where Ebuka was waiting or not?.