CutterMy eyes watch Tucker as he's putting his things together. We don't leave until tomorrow afternoon, but here he is. Already getting his stuff packed. After the day we've had, I can't believe he's not experiencing the same kind of adrenaline crash I am."You're excited, huh?"He smiles that stupid smile of dudes in love everywhere. "Yeah, I can't wait to see Syn, feel her wrapped in my arms, lay in bed with her. I miss every single thing about her. Even the shit I didn't think I would miss."I wonder if this is how it's going to be for me, but obviously I'll be the complete opposite. I'm not going home to the woman I love. I'm leaving the one I'm growing to know, thinking I can see a future with. It's hard not to be excited for him, but it's hitting me that tonight might be the last night Rowan and I ever see each other. We haven't discussed what's going to happen when the LSERT leaves. I guess we both thought we had more time. Tonight it's the one thing not on our side
RowanGlancing over at Cutter, I memorize his features. Unsure if we'll be able to make the long-distance thing work. I'm willing to give it a shot. What I'm not willing to do is let him leave here tonight without having him. If it's my only shot, I want to take it. Have to take it. It'll be something I regret for the rest of my life if I don't.I already have enough regrets and what if's. I can't let this be another one. I'm standing against the railing of the balcony, smirking. He wants me, I can see it in his eyes, can tell by the way his body's tightened, the tent at the crotch of his shorts.Everything says he wants me, and I want him just as badly. He slowly walks over to me, a swagger I've rarely seen in real life. Never thought I'd see walking toward me on a warm moonlit night in September on the Alabama coast, that's for damn sure. I grip the railing, using it to keep me from reaching out to him, and standing up. "You're fuckin' beautiful."The smell of Bud Light on
Cutter"I have to go," I remind her, whispering softly. The breath I exhale disturbs the hair at her temple. The sun has risen into the sky, shining brightly through her window. We saw every hour last night, including the moon."I wish you didn't." She holds onto my waist tightly.Her small voice kills me. It would hurt less if you filleted my chest open, exposing my heart. "I don't want to, but I need to get back to Laurel Springs."Although I'm not sure what my life is going to be like there now. Thinking about the place I've loved since I was a kid doesn't make me excited anymore. When I close my eyes it's hard to imagine the streets in vivid colors and the people I love, like I've always been able to do. That color is now slightly muted, the voices of my family not as loud as they once were."I know." She pulls herself from me, sitting cross-legged in the bed, not bothering to cover her form. The long hair I've wanted to see down flows over her chest, only separating w
RowanTears stream down my face as I watch them leave.There's no one here to hug me, no one to assure me it's going to all work out the way it's supposed to. I could have asked Sullivan to come, but then I'd have to explain to him about Cutter, and for now I want to keep all our memories to myself. I'm not a big fan of leaving things up to chance, but this is one of those times I'll have to have some trust. I don't have a crystal ball and I don't know what the future will bring. Not even sure I wanna know what the future has in store for me. It's burnt me more than once. In bigger ways than I ever thought it could.My eyes follow the taillights of the vehicles until they're gone. They're a blip on the horizon and I know I need to leave. It'll do me no good to stand here and wish things were different.Feeling completely hollow, I walk over to my car and get in, starting the engine. It's still warm here in the south, so I crank up my air conditioner, turn on the radio and ta
CutterOne Week Later"Your mom misses you."A heavy sigh releases from my chest. "You sure it's my mom?"Turning around, I see Dad standing behind me. I'm using the LSPD's workout room to train today, but I honestly didn't expect to run into him."We all miss you," Holden Thompson says as he stands in front of me. My dad has always been one of my favorite people, but since I've come back from Paradise Lost, things just haven't felt right. I've been doing my best, but my heart isn't in what's going on here. "I know." I grab hold of my t-shirt, pulling it over my head. Pulling it down, I stride to the treadmill and get on. Dad does the same thing."What are you doing?"He gives me a look. "Spending some time with my son. Ransom told me you aren't talking to him either, and I have a feeling you need to talk to someone."I hate when he's right, really bugs the shit out of me. Even though he's my favorite person, he can still get on my nerves. "What makes you think I
RowanI've never been so excited to take a road trip. In fact, I can't remember the last one I took. Maybe when I was sixteen and some friends and I went to a concert in Birmingham. After I got pregnant with Etta things changed, and then after she died, I changed.As I hit I-65 North, my heart feels less heavy, and the more I leave Paradise Lost in the background, a smile spreads across my face easier than it has in years. Reaching over, I turn up the radio, open my sunroof, and put the car on cruise control. The GPS says I have an hour and a half to go with most of my travel being on this section of interstate.Glancing at my rearview, I get a picture of myself in the reflection I wasn't expecting. One I haven't seen in years. My hair is down, blowing in the breeze, my eyes are full of life and my skin is pink with excitement. I almost don't recognize myself, but at the same time I do know her. She's the me I've always wanted to be.When I stop at a rest area, I dial Cutter
CutterSo far everyone's been on their best behavior, but when I see Whitney and Ryan making their way through the back door, I immediately grasp Rowan's hand."Awww shit.""What?" she asks as she looks to where my gaze is pinned."Look, whatever Whitney says about you wearing an Auburn shirt, just let it go in one ear and out the other."This time Rowan gives me a serious look. "How do you expect me to do that? We're rivals.""Because you're here with me and I want us to have a nice night?"My voice is hopeful, even I can hear it."College football is serious, Cutter. You should know that."Oh how I do, and how I know Whitney will never let this go."Cutter, is this the lady I've heard so much about?"She's already spotted us and is coming over with Keegan in her arms. He's a spoiled boy by both sets of grandparents and he revels in the attention. "It sure is. Whitney, this is Rowan, Rowan, this is Whitney."Their eyes zero in on what each other is wearing.
Rowan"I'm so sorry you had to be thrown before the firing squad."I'm not exactly sure what he's talking about. "The firing squad?""Yeah, my nosey as fuck family.""They're nice." And they really are. No one has made me feel more welcome. "Your mom said there's family breakfast at The Café tomorrow?""We don't have to go if you don't want to. I promise no one will say anything.""It's okay, we can go. I liked them a lot. I like how they love you." I kneel on the bed, walking on my knees over to him. "They're suffocating."I push my arms around his neck, holding him tightly. "You're their favorite person, I think. You're at least Keegan's favorite person and Ransom loves you like crazy."His eyes soften. "I love them a lot too. Ya know my dad and I had a conversation about love the other day.""Oh really?"My pulse gets faster, I'm not sure what he's going to say to me. "Yeah, I told him you scare the fuck out of me.""I scare you?""So much."I scrutin