Chapter 7: Scholarly Pursuits

Sidia attempted to shove down the bubbling desire in her chest. The temptation to give in to her circumstances made her ache as she looked over the massive collection of books. The room itself was impressive as well. Nooks carved into the walls overflowed with cushions, a soft light with no discernible source made reading pleasant, and old tables stocked with parchment and ink made excellent study desks. This place was any scholar's dream, and a lump formed in Sidia's throat. She was overcome with emotion, not just from the war inside her mind but also from the sheer wonder of such a place.

"The look on your face is marvelous." Severus commented. He stood next to her in the open doors, and he placed an arm around her shoulder. "I knew you would love this."

"Am I allowed to come here whenever I like?" Sidia asked, her voice hoarse from fighting back the tears.

"Of course. You are free to explore every part of the castle." Severus's fingers were cold but strangely comforting and firm on her shoulder.

"Am I?" Sidia turned to look at him, scanning his face for any slip, any twitch, that would give him away.

Severus raised his eyebrow. "Do you think yourself a prisoner?"

"I didn't even bother trying my door after Catarina and Helena left me. I assumed it would be locked." Sidia admitted. She didn't see any point in beating around the bush.

Severus chuckled. "One of the many things I will appreciate about you. You are rather pragmatic." He stepped away from her and started walking between the aisles of bookshelves, raising an arm to beckon her forward. "Your door was locked, but only from the outside. Some of the vampires are younger. It's harder for them to control their bloodlust. It was for your safety only. Catarina must have neglected to explain that to you. I'll have to address that with her."

Frightened that she had accidentally gotten Catarina in trouble, Sidia quickly spoke up. "It's not her fault. I was rather difficult earlier. I insisted on being left alone. No one has ever dressed me, and I was uncomfortable with strangers. She was very adamant about obeying your orders, Severus."

"Do not worry, Sidia. I am not a malevolent ruler. There is no need to be so scared of me." Severus stopped in a particular aisle, looking over the spines of the books.

"I'm not scared of you." Sidia crossed her arms over her chest. "Weary? Perhaps. Skeptical? Definitely. Scared? No." A defiant energy had returned to her bones. She was probably being reckless, but she didn't care. Besides, she wanted to test just how much she could push him. She didn't feel safe with Severus, and she suspected he had a breaking point. What would it take for him to reveal his true self to her?

However, she did fear this would be a difficult thing to determine. He simply threw his head back and laughed, then turned around to grin at her.

"No one talks to me like that anymore, and I find it quite delightful." He quickly tapped her nose, then went back to looking at the books, still giggling.

Despite his reaction not being particularly volatile, Sidia found herself a little annoyed. He clearly did not see her as a threat. What kind of game was he playing? Perhaps she would just need to address this head-on. No games or manipulation. She wasn't very good at that kind of thing anyway.

She was about to confront him and ask if she could speak to Helena alone, but he made a small noise of triumph and pulled a book from the shelf.

"I know how much you love poetry. My agents said that you often read history, philosophy, and all manner of literature, but you especially love poetry. The great Dante Alighieri is one of your favorites, yes?" Severus held a small leather-bound book with such care. It looked rather old but well-loved.

"Yes, of course. I love Dante's work." Sidia looked for the book's title, but Severus's hands obscured the embellishments.

Without looking at the pages, he stared deep into her eyes and quoted, "In that book which is my memory, on the first page of the chapter that is the day when I first met you, appear the words 'Here begins a new life.'"

"The opening for La Vita Nuova." Sidia identified it immediately. She had read it many times, trying desperately to understand the spiritual love Dante held for his muse Beatrice.

"You are my new life, Sidia." Severus placed the book in her hands. "I shall leave you alone to read. Since you fear yourself a prisoner here, I want to show you that you have freedom and choice. Enjoy your time." He stepped around her but stopped before leaving the library. "Catarina will fetch you when it's time for the feast later. Please, allow her to dress you this time. I want to see what you look like as a future empress." Without waiting for her response, he pulled the door behind him and left.

Alone with this vast collection of knowledge, Sidia immediately started searching through all the books. She wanted to find her favorites and discover the books she had heard about and never had a chance to read, but a much more urgent matter pressed her. Terrified by her lapse in resolve and the desire she felt for Severus, she turned her attention to finding books about vampires. She had already learned much from being around them, but she needed to know more. Did they have weaknesses? What other strengths were they hiding?

She had no way to tell the time, but time didn't really matter. She was a quick reader, and she had books to go through. She had dissolved into her task, focused on nothing else but learning as much as possible, when the sound of a throat clearing made her jump.

"I didn't mean to disturb you." Marcus leaned on a shelf, arms crossed as he watched her. At this point, Sidia had surrounded herself with piles of books on the floor. She probably looked disheveled and messy, pouring over the pages.

Sidia felt the heat in her cheeks and knew she was blushing. The last time she had seen Marcus was in her dream. As she looked at him now, she couldn't help the surge in her heart from wondering what his lips really felt like.

"No, it's fine." Sidia shuddered, trying to shake off the new feelings. Why did he ignite such passion within her?

"You seem to be looking for something in particular, little scholar. Can I help you find something?" Marcus's tone was light and playful, and Sidia had to look away when he smiled.

"I'm just learning." Sidia wasn't sure if she should just ask him questions about his species. The books she had found were somewhat helpful, but they were mostly written by religious zealots. She didn't know if any of the information she had read was accurate. However, she couldn't exactly ask him about a vampire's weaknesses. That would be a little obvious.

"Learning about vampires, yes? What makes us tick? How to destroy us?" Marcus' straightforwardness made her heart hammer. How did he know?

"No, I don't want to destroy you. I just . . . I just want to know more." Sidia had no defense, no way to deflect.

"Calm down, little scholar." Marcus chuckled and left the shelf, settling down in one graceful movement to sit cross-legged on the floor in front of her. He was so close, and that made her heart pound even faster.

"I am calm." Sidia insisted. She was lying through her teeth.

"Honestly, I admire that given a wealth of knowledge, you immediately search for information that could help you. It's pragmatic." Marcus ran his fingers through his hair as he talked, grinning the entire time.

"That's what your brother called me." Sidia narrowed her eyes. "Were you here the entire time?"

"You're astute, too. Yes, I've been here the whole time." Marcus didn't seem bothered that she was aware of him spying on her.

"Severus insists I'm not a prisoner, but I can't be truly alone, can I?" Sidia set down the book she was reading and crossed her arms over her chest. "If I'm free to do as I please, then why am I being watched? And don't say it's for my protection. I highly doubt any vampire, no matter their bloodlust, would dare to touch me. I have a feeling Severus' wrath is threat enough to deter any hungry monsters."

"Careful, Sidia." Anger flashed across Marcus's face. "We're not monsters." Marcus looked away as he mumbled, "Not all of us."

"What does that mean?"

"Just like humans, not all vampires are monsters." Marcus snapped.

"You feed on humans and defy the decrees of God, do you not?" Sidia pressed.

"I only feed on humans who give consent." Marcus hissed. "I refuse to eat unless they willingly give themselves. As for my conduct before God, that's none of your business. Human or vampire, it's not your concern."

Sidia gestured to the books around her. "The one thing all these monks and priests have in common is their absolute certainty that vampirism started from a deal with Satan. Do you deny that?"

Marcus rolled his eyes. "So narrow-minded. No one knows who the first vampire was anymore, but I promise you we are no more evil than humans."

"Whatever." Sidia sighed. Did it really matter anyway? Vampire or human, these people had a hold over her family for too long. She needed information. "Now that I'm here and I've met your brother, do you think you could actually answer some of the questions I tried to ask when we first met?"

Marcus stiffened. "You're not very diplomatic, are you? You just insulted me, and now you want me to open up to you?"

"I never actually insulted you. I just asked questions and made observations."

"Semantics." Marcus waved a hand dismissively. "What do you want to know anyway? Hasn't my brother told you enough? I could hear your heart across this cavern when he recited Dante to you. Is that all it takes to win you over?"

Sidia huffed. "Mind your business! I haven't been won over."

"Could have fooled me." Marcus laughed.

"You know nothing about me." Sidia abruptly stood up. Even though she was irritated, she still had that insistent impulse to make her dream come true and kiss him. It was distracting. She wasn't going to wait for anyone to fetch her. She would just head back to her room. She turned to walk away, but Marcus was standing right in front of her. She never saw him move, and his sudden repositioning made her jump.

"Shouldn't you wait for your attendants?" Marcus asked. The twinkle in his eye and the way he tilted his head made him seem contemptuous. For some reason, knowing he looked down on her made her want to crawl under the blankets of her new bed and never come out. She couldn't stand him looking at her like this.

"I will do as I please." Sidia hissed. She went to walk around him, but instead collided with the arm he suddenly raised up to stop her.

"Not that I care, but you should be careful, little scholar. My brother is playing the part of the benevolent and bright leader for you, but he likes things to go his way. You should wait for your attendants." There was a break in Marcus's expression, a fleeting emotion that interrupted his smirk for just a moment.

Sidia glared at him. Between Severus' reaction to her standing up to him earlier, that obnoxious tap on the nose he gave her, and Marcus calling her "little scholar", she had had enough. She was not a child or some meek woman. She recognized that it would be to her advantage if they saw her as non-threatening, but she couldn't stand it.

"You mock me, but it seems to me that you're the one kissing your brother's arse. I'm not a 'little scholar,' and I will not be talked to like this. No one has authority over me, Marcus." Sidia pushed his arm away, frustrated at how much she still wanted him to wrap it around her waist instead. She needed to get out of here.

Sidia marched towards the door, determined to be by herself, but it swung open before she even touched the handles. Catarina stood there, face blank and hands clasped together in front of her. She looked so subservient. Sidia opened her mouth to greet her but froze as she noticed Severus' mother Julia standing next to her. Her face wasn't blank at all. She looked furious.

"Our future empress enjoys profanity and speaking out of turn, it would seem." Julia growled. "How unbecoming."