TWO

The keys rattle in the lock as I press my palm against the heavy wooden door, heaving it open. 

Buttery warm light greets me as I step into the cabin, kicking off my boots at the door. The warmth from the fire greets my stiff limbs, fingers numb as I pull them from my woollen gloves, letting them drop into the basket at my feet. The snow never stopped falling my entire half hour walk back up the hill to the cabin. It would be nice to be closer to town, but being so far, tucked in a small woods, means we are less likely to be seen together. 

As I hang my coat on the hook after dusting a layer of snow from it, I wander around the corner and into the joint kitchen, following the rich smell of meat and vegetables cooking. 

Tai’s back is to me as I lean against the archway frame. The sleeves of his shirt are pulled up around his elbows as he stirs around a pot with a wooden spoon. 

"You're cooking,” I muse. 

Tai has cooked for me often while living here, since I usually don’t return home from work until late, yet this is the first time I’ve walked in to witness it myself. He turns around as I speak, flinching slightly. Both of us live constantly on edge, as if Marek or another rebel may stroll through the door at any moment. 

"Trying to. I'm not exactly good at it or anything,” he says uneasily, raking a hand back through his hair, although it does nothing but disturb his curls. Glancing down, I notice a wet patch around his stomach where he must have splashed himself with water. I smother my smile, enjoying seeing him so flustered at such a simple task. 

"Well that's what happens when you're raised as a King, and everyone does everything for you," I murmur, half-amused as I come to look down at what he has cooked. By the looks of it, he has done well so far. "You didn't have to do this."

"You work harder than me. It's the least I can do,” he says with a shrug. 

I rest my back against the edge of the counter, drawing in a breath. Although I may work more hours, Tai’s job entails more physical work. Over these past couple months, his slender build has shifted, as more muscle frames his arms, leaving me to imagine the beautiful sight that may linger beneath his shirt. He isn’t the soft, manicured King anymore. Even his hands are rough, littered with calluses from swinging an axe around all day. 

"Speaking of working, I'm being harassed about going to this work party next week,” I tell him. I watch his eyes glaze over slightly. Here, in the Azure Province, his eyes have lost their original emerald shine, having turned darker in our dull environment. 

He turns the element off, rubbing his hands on a wash-cloth. "You should go."

"It's too much of a risk,” I say immediately, shaking my head. Being scared, being frightened to even step outside has become a normal part of Tai and I’s life. Anything that can arise suspicion is avoided, even if it means sacrificing everything that keeps us happy. 

"They need to think you're normal. Skipping parties and never spending time with any of them outside of work is going to raise suspicion,” he reminds me. 

It’s a talk we have had before. 

"It already has,” I mutter, kicking my feet around on the linoleum floor. This is an old kitchen, but at least everything in here works...Most of the time. I can’t count the amount of times Tai has had to learn to fix a broken appliance. "Noa has been asking a lot of questions recently."

Tai crosses his arms over his chest, the intensity of his gaze striking me for a moment. "What do they know?"

"They think I have a husband who works here and who I followed here because my home life wasn't great,” I tell him. He knows this already, but I think hearing it makes him feel better. He likes that no one here truly knows him. It’s riskier for him, since there is a chance that someone here has seen his face before, as a King. 

"I'm sorry you have to lie. I'm sorry about everything,” Tai says gently. He has apologised a myriad of times, never accepting it to have been enough. He knows he dragged me into this, but I have no room left to blame anyone. I’m just grateful I’m here with him, and not a murdered victim of Vaia’s. 

We haven’t spoken about his powers since he used them on me all those months ago. I silently figure it has to do with the band saving him from the Beast’s powers, although I keep that to myself. He’s frightened of admitting that to himself. I would be too, had I gone my whole life being a normal human, to suddenly acquiring powers in the most unnatural way imaginable. 

"Don't be. Nothing can be taken back now,” I say tightly, forcing a smile to tilt at my lips. 

"If I could take anything back, it would be the fact that I didn't marry you,” Tai admits, swinging the wash-cloth over his shoulder. I know he doesn’t mean that, that there are many things he wishes he could take back, but him saying that does what he intended, my cheeks flushing, my blood warming. 

Tai has made comments over the past few months that have made my head spin. Mercifully, he has kept a distance though, knowing the heartbreak I’ve endured, trying to rid of my feelings for Marek. It’s been made easier knowing that what Marek felt for me may not have been real, even if I silently doubt that. All I know is that Tai has been respectful enough to not push me, to not crowd me with how he feels. 

"You wanted to?" I question, watching him step from foot to foot. 

"Of course I did," he smiles, shaking his head at me as if I’m insane for thinking otherwise. It feels like a lifetime ago...it’s easier to not admit that I was starting to have conflicting feelings. "I wanted to have you as my wife, regardless of what I was offering you, and what I got from you."

"Why?" I can’t help but ask. 

"Because I like you," he breathes, taking a step closer to me, allowing his scent to wash over me, my heart fluttering nervously. "I've always liked you, and you know that."

"Because you find me pretty,” I say flatly. 

I’m not sure how pretty I feel anymore. My hair is so flat in this climate, the lack of sun seeping all the warmth out of the colour. Now that I work so vigorously, I’m always tired, dark shadows haunting my under-eyes, fingers worked to the bone. Yet everyday, when I return from work, Tai will look over me, a hungry intention in his eyes that I try not to recognize, but can never miss it. 

"That attracted me to you, but I can assure you that you have a winning personality,” he claims, squeezing my arm tauntingly. I push it away, unable to hold back my laugh. No one has ever told me that I have a winning personality, so hearing it from Tai’s mouth makes me giggle. 

"Flattered," I note, brushing past him. I don’t go far, lingering in the doorway of the kitchen. I have nothing. else to do but eat dinner, speak to Tai and sleep. Despite not doing much in our days, Tai and I never run out of things to talk about. I can safely call him the closest friend I’ve ever had, even if something more dwells there. "We aren't getting married."

"I know. But it's fun to dream,” he grins. It warms my blood seeing him smile, knowing that I can tease some of the tension from his shoulders that he carries with him back from work. He refuses to share his daily struggles with me, even if I encourage him to. 

I shake my head at him, unable to believe what is coming out of his mouth."Are you so open with your feelings to everyone?"

"It gets me in trouble sometimes," he admits, stepping toward me again. "You've been lied to enough. At least you can know one thing for certain."

I’m not sure what has changed recently, but being close to him has been making me nervous. He always looks at me with either a kindness in his eyes, or a desire, which never got to me, until these past couple weeks. He stops close enough to have my breath hitch in my throat, my back pressed painfully against the archway frame, feeling it’s corners taunt me the more I press into them. 

For a moment, there is just silence. Caught in each other’s gazes, I hardly notice his hand reach out to brush a curl from my face, his fingers lingering for a moment. 

Suddenly, I’m painfully aware of how intimate this is, completely alone in this cabin for miles, no one anywhere near to witness any sinful activities. Just the thought of that has all the blood rushing to my head, a dizzying feeling taking a hold of me. 

Tai leans forward, ever so slightly. It’s enough for me to become aware of his lips, having kissed me only once before, yet enough to have the moment seared into my mind forever. Only an inch more and he will be kissing me...

His fingers tighten ever so slightly on the back of my neck, ready to pull me close enough to press my lips against his. And if I allowed myself to kiss him, where would we end up? Here, I sleep in the bedroom, and Tai sleeps in the living space. If we kissed right now, there is no telling where it could lead…

Graphic thoughts spill into my head, imagining Tai doing things to me that I haven’t thought of before. Unable to help myself, a gasp slips past my lips.

Tai seems to jerk out of the trance he was in, blinking a few times."I'm so sorry-"

I can’t speak for a moment, all the words failing to form. It feels wrong to want a moment with Tai, to steal away the dark feeling of loneliness, to give me something to think about that isn’t Marek and his betrayal. 

"I should go freshen up,” I say quickly, backing up a few steps. 

He nods, watching me. The trance may have vanished, but I don’t miss the way his gaze traces my body before I turn back around. This isn’t over yet.