01 // UNTIMELY

I've always wondered what it felt like to die. What was it like? Was it like in the movies, where one dies peacefully with a smile on their face?

I always wanted to know from the day my father died, had he been in too much pain? He died a painful death, and I still carried most of his pain in my heart, but I wondered how his last seconds were, if it took him all his will to breathe his last breath.

Maybe that was what was killing me, the painful remnants he left in me. It was as if there were glass shards constantly piercing at me, as if to remind me that this could be my last day.

It was so strange, I was not in pain, but I was hurting. My heart was bleeding over my failed dreams and short life, and yet, I had somehow found a way to make peace with it.

My mother did not look bothered either as she moved about the kitchen, singing and moving to her favourite song as she cooked a storm. Occasionally, I think that perhaps we had both come to terms with the situation because both of us died the day my father died, and this was life making it official.

Death was just breathing a few feet below my feet, and I could feel the ground calling me, beckoning me to final bow down.

I knew it was coming soon, it was inevitable, especially when everyone around me had finally accepted it and were acting as if I were already dead.

“Zah, can I have this dress? It fits perfectly on me.” My 16-year-old cousin gushed.

I did not even know that I had a cousin until twenty-four hours ago, when my mother's distant cousin from my grandfather's side showed up, we were literally strangers.

I looked up from the book I was reading and gave a brittle smile, and my voice was as steel as my heart when I uttered those worse, “Why not, Mandy? Please wear it to my funeral.”

“Azania!” My mother scolded.

I could not understand why they were here, they were never family to me, my mother struggled alone after the death of my father and had to raise me alone without their help. Now that I was dying, they were here and were already going through my wardrobe as if my body had long decomposed.

I ignored them and continued reading, but my train of thoughts was disturbed, and I could no longer focus.

I threw the book on the side table and stood up.

“Azania, where are you going?” Mother asked as I put on my boots, followed by my coat.

“Where do you think, Mama? I'm going to work,” I grumbled and picked my sling-bag from the door.

My mother was against the idea of me working, but she had given up on the idea of trying to convince me to stay at home.

I left the house without another word, and made my way to the place that saw me take my first step as a toddler, until the day I started using sanitary towels.

It was funny how I called that tiny house a home, whereas I was raised behind the massive walls of the castle.

I still remember running through the metallic silver gates as a kid, white teeth flashing against the scorching summer sun as I smiled from ear to ear, the world full of wonders and life ever so colourful.

I could never forget that eventful day. It was on a Saturday afternoon, the palace stuff were running up and down, flowers of different natures at hand. It was Spring, the season of new beginnings, the season of love and new life. Furthermore, it feels like it was just yesterday when my mother kept calling after me and telling me not run within the palace walls, fearing that I would slip on the sparkling clean tiles and break some bones. I was so energetic and full of life back then.

Now, life was dull and cold. It felt as though I was experiencing a winter entirely different from the rest of the world, the cold bit deep into my bones. There was no sun, no flowers, no colour, everything was covered in snow. All I knew was that as the cold and every shed of snow came to pass, so would I.

I shuddered as I walked into the palace, a ghost of a smile on my face. My mother said to never show the world how much I was suffering, but I knew everyone under this roof knew, they could see it, they felt it; my pain was painted all over the gray walls of the castle, this is where it all began.

“Azania!” Lizzy, a maid at the palace and one of my friends and colleagues, called with excitement written all over her rosy cheeks. “I thought you would never come, I’m so glad you are here.” She dragged me towards the enormous kitchen, where I was greeted by relieved faces upon arrival.

I thought I was the one dying, I wanted to say, but I smiled instead and asked, “Why do you all look so sullen?”

“It’s terrible, girl, you have no idea!” Lizzy said dramatically.

I rolled my eyes. “Will you tell me what’s going on, Lizzy, or will I have to drag every single word out of you?”

Just as I said that, a chilly voice cut through the air. It was the king’s second wife, Queen Gladys. “My son, Prince Lincoln, is coming home tonight,” she announced, casting me a disdainful look. “I believe Mrs Zulu taught you everything. I want you to prepare his favourite meals, and I want everything to be spotless and elegant for his arrival; I also want his room and one of the guest rooms to be prepared. Do you understand?” She demanded.

“Yes, Your Majesty!” Everyone chorused, even though we all knew those orders were directed at me more than anyone else in the room.

“Good. Get to work.” She gave me a once-over before walking out of the kitchen.

It is so funny how she was treating us with the utmost disdain whereas she also started here; she was a maid just like us before she became the queen, and it was all thanks to my mother. Ironically, we were the two people she hated most in the world, she seems to have forgotten that she wouldn’t be ruling next to the king if my mother hadn’t helped her seduce the king.

The king had two wives, he married Queen Gladys after Queen Shekinah failed to bear children for him. King Zion and Queen Gladys had two children together, Prince Lincoln and Princess Samu. Samu was raised in the palace while Lincoln was sent abroad when he turned eighteen, and that was exactly ten years ago if I was not mistaken.

“Well, you heard what the queen said, guys, let’s get to work!” I said, putting on my apron.

Come noon, and the entire kingdom already knew about the news of the prince's expected return. It was such a spectacle to watch, especially when I went to the marketplace to get a few things.

It was no secret that his return meant that he would need to take a wife, since he would be taking over from his father as the king. Not only that, but it was every girl's dream to marry the prince and rule the kingdom, and all young maidens were trained from a young age how to be of royalty by their mothers. Like they say, it is okay to dream, and every mother dreamt to see their daughters ruling next to the prince.

It was indeed every girl's dream, and it was mine too at some point in life, but even that died a long time ago. Reliving that dream would be hurting myself.

I was not surprised, however, when my estranged cousin suddenly took interest in my job. I remember her reaction when she found out I was the assistant head maid at the Palace and that I would be taking over as the head maid after Mrs Zulu's passing, both her and her mother looked down on me and went as far as saying that we were cursed because my mother had been a maid right from the start. Now, she wanted to know everything I do at the palace, and she even suggested that I use my new position to give her a job.

Every girl wanted to be the one, and suddenly, no man in the kingdom was worthy to marry their daughters. What a pity though because the tradition of the prince marrying a maiden from the kingdom was dead as far as Gladys was concerned, she wanted her son to marry royalty, and she made that clear from day one.

Everything was almost ready at the palace, all the prince's favourite foods were ready, all that was left to do was to prepare the bedrooms.

His room was left untouched from the day he left, it was still the same as I remembered. You'd think it would be boyish or at least made for royalty, but it was plain, with everything either in gray or white.

I didn't know whether to leave everything as it was or change the entire room. Personally, I believed that ten years was a long time, Lincoln would probably find this entire setting to be simple and childish.

I did not get to dwell on it though because the queen walked in and demanded that I accompany the guards to the airport to meet the prince.

“But, Your Majesty, I'm not done preparing his room. Perhaps you should get someone to go in my place,” I said hastily.

Why was she sending me? Everybody knew she hated me with every cell in her body.

“That was not a request, hurry, they are waiting for you!” She did not give me a chance to argue any further. I left the room and dropped the apron in the kitchen before joining the guards outside.

Three cars were sent out, two cars with guards, and I was forced to ride in the third car with one of the guards, Sam. I don't know how many times I've turned him down, but he kept insisting, I was even tempted to yell in his face that I was dying.

“So, Azania, I guess congratulations are in order. I heard about your promotion,” he said.

Not for long, I thought and muttered, “Thanks.”

You would think my lack of communication would make him lose interest and stop talking.

“The villagers are in a festive mood today, the news of the prince's return spread like a wildfire. I wonder what he's like, I bet he looks even more sophisticated now. I heard he started a logistics company.”

I sighed heavily and stared out the window, and at some point, I even drifted off. Likewise, I was beyond exhausted, Gladys was on my tail the entire day.

By the time I woke up, we were pulling up at the airport, we were forced to park at the back so that we wouldn't draw too much attention to ourselves or the prince. It was probably rude of me, but I stayed in the car even after the guys met the prince and helped with his luggage.

Sam knocked on my window and ordered me to step out of the car, and I did against my will. I wish I had remained in the car so that I wouldn't have to witness this first-hand.

I don't know if it was possible, but Lincoln looked even more handsome than the last time I saw him, he looked manly and was the exact replica of his father, the king.

Personally, his looks were not a shocker for me. I could never understand royalty and their genes, it was as if they were descendants of vampires because they were rich and looked the part. The shocking part, however, was the fact that he was walking hand in hand with a young woman.

It was a shocking and strange sight. I couldn't help but wonder why the queen sent me when she could have easily sent his sister, I'm sure the princess would have been thrilled to see her older brother after so many years.

“Welcome, Your Highness.” Sam bowed slightly before turning to open the doors for them.

To say I was surprised would be a lie because I knew that foreign countries had a way of changing people. Of course, he wasn't the first to go overseas in the kingdom, but he was the prince. I thought he was going to fist bump and pull Sam into a bone-crushing hug since they were friends back in the day, but his entire stance was tense.

I couldn't tell whether he was unable to recognize me or just chose to ignore me, but I kept my distance and climbed into the front passenger seat after they got into the back.

One of the other cars was driving ahead of us, while the other trailed behind us.

The drive back to the palace was as cold as the night, even Sam was quiet, and I was grateful on my part. The only person speaking was the prince's companion, who was complaining about how cold it was in this part of the world. I did not bother looking at them, but I could feel eyes burning at the back of my head, and I only caught a glimpse of them when I was buckling my seatbelt. I couldn't help but notice how close they were, I'm certain if she could sit on his lap, she would have since she had her arm hooked around his throughout the entire ride.

As soon as we got home, I made the run for it as the palace swarmed with villagers who came to welcome their prince. I would rather not be there to witness their reactions when they realized that he had company and that they wasted their time by breaking off their daughters' engagements.

I made my way through the crowd until I found the back door to the kitchen, I wanted to make sure that everything was in place before they came into the house.

“Zah, you are back!” Lizzy said excitedly, I wish she could share whatever she took every morning to be in such a jubilant mood.

“Hey, Liz. How are things going this side?” I asked as I hung my coat and put on my apron.

I knew Lizzy was dying to ask me questions about the trip and the prince. The curiosity was burning in her brown orbs, but I didn't miss the panic either as she led me to the dining hall.

The long dining table was covered in gold utensils, white plates and bowls with a tint of gold, golden souvenir, candle sticks, you name it, and we cooked every meal we could possibly think of. It was elegant, just as the queen requested.

“Wow, Lizzy! You did great, this looks spectacular.” Lizzy blushed furiously, and I pulled her into a side hug. “Have you guys eaten yet?” I asked.

She nodded eagerly. “Yes, we had something earlier, I left your food in the microwave.”

“Thanks, lover! Where is everyone?”

“The royal family is in the lounge, and the guys were making the final preparations upstairs.”

I cringed as I remembered that the prince's room wasn't done when I left. “Okay, Lizzy, I'll go and check on how everything is upstairs, you stay here and keep an eye on everything, okay?”

I hadn't even taken a step forward when the front doors burst open, and Prince Lincoln marched right in with his bride at hand and the guards in tow. This caught the attention of the entire family in the other room as they scrambled out to meet the prodigal son in the hallway.

And judging by the looks on everyone's faces, I would rather not imagine how the villagers reacted to this sight. This was going to be such a huge scandal.