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CHAPTER FIFTY-NINE
Like drowning in the open air
Suffocated. That’s what Star felt when she first opened her eyes, there was a heavyweight holding her down and she could feel the uncomfortable pinch of needles under her skin.
Looking around, all she saw was darkness concealing the vague picture of a- hospital room? Star gasped, she refused to be another one of their test subjects. Thinking she was alone in the dark room, she struggled against the weight and felt relieved when she was able to move her arms and used her frail fingers to rip off the needles and wires attached to her, but before she could release herself from the weight holding her down, a pair of hands gripped hold of her.
She didn’t feel anything above the panic, her mind was screaming at her to get out of there, but
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Holding onNo matter how hard they all tried, Star couldn’t muster the smile they tried to garner from her. Seated on her hospital bed, she watched- almost as a bystander as her mate and friends told stories even though they seemed to be doing for her benefit.The psychologist that saw her earlier that morning easily pointed out that she was experiencing PTSD and that it would take a while and a lot of work to get over it and back to normal. As much as the woman persuaded her to not be harsh on herself for the way her mind reacted to her experience, Star couldn’t shake the feeling that she was wrong, the life she knew was a distant memory, nothing could or would be the same again.“Are you tired, do you want us to leave so you can rest?” Ray offered, h
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The first bloom after the blizzard“How have you been sleeping, are the dreams still present?” Doctor Singh crossed one leg over the other, balancing the black notebook on her exposed knee.“The sleeping pills help me for a few hours, but by the early hours of the morning-” Star cut off, Dr. Singh knew the sequence of her dreams, they spend countless sessions recounting the events, trying to desensitize Star to the events that were more a memory than a piece of fiction from a dream.“Have you ever considered a pet? Often in cases of PTSD, we introduce support animals to help patients, studies have shown that being around animals reduces anxiety and provides a calming presence for humans to latch onto.” Star wanted to smile, but she feared t
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Haunted by half-truthsShivering from the cold, Star could feel the burn of the lashes on her skin, but the blood that seeped from the wounds froze on her skin. In the dark room, all she could see were two hazel lifeless eyes staring down at her from where the man hung from chains, her heart and mind screamed at the sight, crying out for help, he was dying and she couldn’t even move a muscle to help him.“Max!!!” The cry escaped her chapped lips, but still, he didn’t move. She opened her mouth to scream for help, the violent shaking of her body pulled her from drowning in his eyes.“Star, wake up!” Max was straddling her, shaking her shoulders till her eyes cracked open and widened in the dimly lit room.
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When I’m with you When Star’s eyes fluttered open the first thing she noticed was the strong, bare arm draped over her midriff and recalled the dream she had. Similar to the feeling she had when Max held her in the lake, she felt at peace with his warm chest against her back and his long legs intertwined with hers. Sighing with contentedness, she turned in his arms, careful not to wake him, she wrapped her arm around him. The chilly January air didn’t bother him in the least, but just seeing the grey clouds in the sky sent a chill through Star’s body. Max’s long eyelashes kissed the tan skin on his cheeks, gone were the frown lines that seemed to be a constant feature over the past few weeks, his plump lips were slightly parted to allow air to pass through. It seemed the caress of her eyes was enough to break his peaceful sleep, Max groaned softly when he felt his mate so close to him and cracked his eyes open to find her staring at him. For a moment neither of them said a word, th
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A leap of faith takes only one step Max itched to grab hold of her hand as he pushed her through the distance between their new home and the packhouse, but the wringing of her fingers in front of her stopped him. Nerves were rolling off her in waves, but he remained quiet, nothing he said would change how she felt and the fact that she didn’t stop him was a sign of her determination. She didn’t need his doubt. Emerging from the treeline, they caught the eye of many pack members, but everyone kept their distance, thanks to a forewarning from Max. “Good morning Alpha and Luna, it’s nice to see you both out and about this morning.” One of the older women who ran the pack laundry greeted them when they passed by her.
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Sick to the stomach Star’s heart raced, she could feel her breaths coming out in shallow pants as she observed the man before her with wide eyes. “I’m sorry, Star.” Even with the proof in front of her, she couldn’t believe it. “No, you’ve got the wrong guy.” she shook her head and looked at Max with desperate eyes. “No, we don’t.” Ray’s hard voice met her ears and her eyes shot in his direction, he was standing behind them with his hard eyes focussed on the floor, the clenching of his fists told her how hard it was for him too. “Ray…” She wheeled towards him and grabbed his hand desperately, “He’s your best friend, Ray.” She shook his a
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No pain, no gain Sucking in a deep breath, Star held onto the bars and pulled herself up like she’d done many times before, but this time she was determined to make it to the end of the rails. She smiled slightly when her legs didn’t shake or buckle and despite the discomfort of having all her weight on her legs, she took her first step. “One step at a time, Star.” Cora encouraged. Her eyes were glued to her feet as she slowly lifted one foot after the other, part of her wanted to rush and get it over with, but the pain was worth the gain if she made it to the end without stumbling or crumbling. “Come on Star, you can do it.” She whispered to herself when her left leg shook slightly, she could feel beads of sweat rolling down her back, but the exertion felt more liberating than grueling. Star chanced a quick look at the end of the bars and realized she was more than halfway there, every step caused her arms and legs to strain, but she knew most of the battle was mental. Perhaps s
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Forgiveness is equivalent to freedom “Are you going to do it or keep staring at your phone like he’s going to materialize from it?” Star jumped slightly at the intrusion and turned her chair to glare at Ray. “You nearly gave me a heart attack.” The man in question was unmoved by her heated glare and simply crossed his arms and legs as he leaned against the door frame. “Alas, you’re still here. Don’t change the subject.” Realizing arguing with him wouldn’t be worth it, she dropped her gaze to the phone once again. “I’m pretty sure he doesn’t want to hear from me.” She winced, remembering how effortlessly she lied to his face. “I doubt that, he’s been checking up on you since we found you.” Star’s eyebrows pulled together. “Wait, how did you know who I wanted to call?” Ray’s lips lifted into a smirk. “I’d love to come off as mysterious and all-knowing, but I was just with Max. He could feel your distress and told me you’ve been overthinking calling the Sheriff.” Star’s lips p
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