VOLUME TWO: OUT OF DARKNESSFor services rendered.Meredith jerked awake as she remembered the dollar bill hitting her back. It was the same dream every night. She always woke up when he said those words and threw the money. Sleep never came after one of her nightmares, even when she took the pills the good doc had prescribed. Carefully, she pushed back the covers of Tyler's bed and slid her legs to the side. Her heart caught, the way it always did when she saw Tyler asleep on the floor. Maybe one day she would be able to invite him into this bed. Quietly, she dressed and grabbed her running shoes. If she couldn't sleep, she may as well get something accomplished.Making her way to the kitchen of the clubhouse, she smiled and waved at those who had come to know her in the weeks she'd been staying here. It was easy to pretend with these people that nothing really had happened to her. She'd taken a leave of absence from her job and moved all her belongings into storage. Meredith ha
I wonder what I did to deserve this? Was it my fault, playing two clubs against one another, searching for the truth? Did I deserve to be raped? I think I did, and that's probably the worst thing. I try to make myself feel better, I really do, but then I realize that maybe I did ask for this."What are you writing?"Meredith slammed the leather journal closed and glanced up at Tyler. The man was beautiful. He stood easily 6'3, though with his motorcycle boots he probably topped 6'5. The Native American heritage was apparent in his high cheekbones, the long, straight black hair, and the suntanned tone of his skin. His brown eyes burned intensely as he watched her."Just journaling like the therapist suggested I do.""Speaking of, are you ready for your appointment?"She nodded. "I am, just gotta grab my backpack."Silent as ever, all he did was nod. He was so good to her, taking her wherever she needed to go, never asking for more than what she was willing to give, talking t
Her watch showed he was late. Tyler was never late, especially to pick her up from her appointment. Tucking her lip in between her teeth, she contemplated if she should call him. Would that be too similar to her acting like a girlfriend? Putting her thumb over his number in her contacts, she was about to press dial when she heard the roar of his bike.As he came to a stop in front of her and turned the engine off, he was apologizing. "Sorry I'm late. I was boxing with Layne, and I didn't realize what time it was.""Boxing?" she asked as she came down the steps of the front porch. Now that she was closer, she could see that his hair was wet. It looked like he had taken a quick shower before he came to get her."Yeah. Kinda like you going for a run. Layne and I box. He has the same kind of temper as me."Layne, she knew, was a Prospect who had been over in Iraq as a member of the armed forces. He probably did have a lot of aggression to get rid of. "I understand, I was worried."
I went to the grocery store yesterday, and I was scared to death. Some kid dressed up for Halloween and looked just like my attacker. I had a complete meltdown in the middle of the store. What does that say about me? Even I can tell I've been shaken ever since. I don't think I've been this fragile since the actual attack. Last night I barely slept at all. I even heard Tyler come to bed. I've never heard him come in the room before. I'm so on edge, I don't know what to do. I feel like I need to reclaim some piece of myself, but I'm not sure how to do that. I want to feel like I can protect myself and hold it together. I need some kind of outlet besides writing because I feel rage beginning to overtake my personality. I'm starting to get angry and I don't want to take that out on Tyler. He admitted to me that he's been boxing with Layne. That they beat the shit out of each other and that's the only way he can come to me without the anger. I'm not sure that it's healthy, but it's got to b
"Meredith, it's been a week since our last session. How have things been going?"She looked at the doctor, avoiding her eyes. This was supposed to be helping her, but it would never help her if she didn't come clean. That was something she realized now more than ever. Especially after the events of the last seven days. She took a deep breath and began talking to Doctor Jones."I've had an interesting week. I finally went out and about with someone besides Tyler and it was a complete disaster.""Why was that?""Denise took me to the grocery. Well, the grocery also has Halloween costumes for sale. I nearly had a panic attack because of the number of people in the store. Then at the checkout, some guy bumped into me. I looked behind me, and he was dressed exactly like my attacker was. He was so excited that his Halloween costume scared me, and I took off running. It brought back everything and I damn near passed out in the parking lot. I also had another nightmare that night."D
"Oh my God, this is the grossest thing ever," Meredith squealed, causing Tyler and Liam to laugh.The group of them were in Liam's kitchen, preparing to honor a time-tested tradition."I'd have to agree, and I've had children," Denise squealed along with her, causing the guys to double over with laughter."You think it's so funny, you two do it."Tyler sighed, taking pity on Meredith, and stood up from the kitchen table. He took off his cut and his shirt, obviously not wanting it to get dirty. Meredith's mouth went dry as the Sahara as he walked over. Funny as it sounded, she'd never seen him without a shirt on before. He was very careful with his nakedness when it came to her. She gawked appreciatively. It was obvious he worked out, the man had what looked like an eight pack on his stomach, and his arm muscles bulged as well, veins showing in his forearms. While she had seen the tattoos on his forearms, she'd never seen the full sleeves or the ones that marked his back and che
This had been a bad idea, Meredith realized as soon as she made her way out to the packed main room of the clubhouse. It hadn't been hard to get up the hallway that led to the dorm rooms where most of the other members slept. Some of them had homes. Those who didn't made their homes here. It was important that their private space be respected, so not a lot of people congregated in that tight spot. The main room, however, was a completely different story. Everything had been pushed to the side – except for couches, where she could see a lot more people congregating than she was comfortable with.The party was in full swing, and there were a ton of bodies packed into a very small space. She couldn't even bring herself to wear a costume, but a part of her had wanted to be amongst the action. She wanted to see what she was missing out on. Her eyes scanned the sea of bodies and locked with William's, who smiled warmly at her and saluted her with his beer. She smiled back, thankful that he
Meredith breathed heavily as she did her second lap around the Heaven Hill compound. The kiss the night before had opened a flood of emotions within her, and she hadn't been able to sleep very long once they'd made their way back to Tyler's dorm room. She'd lain there tossing and turning most of the night, thoughts racing through her head. Usually running helped, but not even the steady pounding of her shoes on the ground cleared her thoughts today. Stopping when she finally had a stitch in her side, she bent over. Panting, she crossed her hands above her head and began slowing walking around."You okay?" Denise asked as she walked up beside the other woman."Fine," she panted, although her eyes betrayed her. "You?"Her friend decided to let the obvious lie go and smiled dreamily. "It was an amazing night once we got home. Have I mentioned how hot Liam is? How much I love him? How we decided to maybe try and have a baby?"The water that Meredith had just taken a sip of spit for