Mandy"This is the hardest part," I sigh, closing in on myself, wrapping my arms around my chest, seeming to hold myself together. "Why?" Dr. Crawford asks."Because I have to admit what a shitty mother I've been to Walker. No one wants to admit when they've failed." I shrug. "And I've failed him in a lot of ways.""Let's talk about it." She crosses her legs, getting comfortable in her chair. "Let everything out. Verbally vomit all the things you want to say to Walker. How old is he?""Eleven." I grin, thinking of how he's starting to look so much like Dalton. "This is his last year in elementary school, and next year he'll be trying out for the middle school football team. It's almost all he talks about.""Does your family have a history of sports?""My twin brother does, and so does Dalton, my husband. They both played football in high school, probably could have done it in college, but instead they prospected for the club my dad ran."I've never told anyone about th
Walker"You got some mail today."I never get mail. Only if it's my birthday or Christmas, so I'm super excited to know who I got it from. "Yeah? Where is it?" I ask my dad as I throw my bag in my room. He's sitting on the couch in his dorm."Right here." He holds it up, waving it around.Snatching it is easy, probably because he let me, and when I look down, my stomach gets a queasy feeling inside it. It's from my mom.I haven't spoken to her since she had to go into the hospital. But she wrote Dad a letter, and I've been waiting for mine ever since."Do you want to read it by yourself?" he asks softly. I nod, going into my room and closing the door. I'd thought a week ago that the two of them would be getting a divorce, but the dinner I'd had with Dad had settled my fears."She's getting the help she needs, Walker. I know it's hard to understand for you. Hell, it's hard to understand even for me, but I promise she's going to come back to us."I grab a piece o
DaltonIt's a shitty day, cold with rain, almost freezing, coming down in sheets atop the garage. Hard to believe it's almost April, but sometimes our worst weather is in March. No one speaks over the noise, preferring to not wreck their voice, not even the radio we have playing in the background can be heard. "It gets much colder out there and we'll be fucked."It's shameful to admit, but I can't tell if it's Tyler or Caelin speaking to me. They both sound the exact same now that Caelin's balls have dropped. Shit, I mean gotten a little older. Sneaking a peak in between the spot my arm makes, I see it's the younger of the two."True." I turn so we face one another. "What are you doing here today? I thought you were at the clubhouse?""I was told to bring you this phone."My gaze moves down to the iPhone he holds in his hand. I eye it like it's a snake. "The fuck you bringing me a phone for?"He shrugs. "Just do as I'm told. You should be getting a call in the next halfh
Mandy"How did your conversation with Dalton go?"I hold my phone call with him close to my chest, not wanting to share it with anyone, even Dr. Crawford, even though she's the one who's brought me far enough to be able to recognize most of my bad habits."It was good," I allow. "Just good?"Taking a deep breath, I trudge ahead, trying to explain with a limited vocabulary how hearing his voice made me feel. "It was as if a cloudy, rainy day was pushed aside and the sun shined, birds sang, and a rainbow appeared. I had no idea how much I missed him.""You didn't want to tell me all of that." She makes a note on her pad of paper. "Thank you for pushing past it.""It's just…" I situate myself on the couch, pulling my leg up under me. "It's always felt like everything involving my relationship has included more than the two people in the relationship. My brother is best friends with Dalton, Dalton and my brother run Heaven Hill together, and before that Dalton was under my d
Dalton"Mail call." Caelin drops an envelope on the couch in my dorm. Stepping out from the bathroom, still brushing my teeth, I walk slowly over to where he placed it. From where I stand I can see it's pink, and I truly have no idea who might send me a damn pink letter.Tilting my head to the side as I keep brushing, I see the familiar feminine handwriting undeniably Mandy's. Excitement makes me gasp, causing me to swallow a mouthful of toothpaste. "Shit," I cough, running back to the bathroom. Bending down, I cup my palm and get as much water as I can before rinsing my mouth out. Hurrying, I dry my hands off as best I can, running back out into the dorm. Walker's gone to school, so I don't feel bad when I shut the door from my room leading to his. This is private, perhaps even more than the first one. I've heard her voice now, the voice I know and love. It was full of life, and everything that makes Mandy, Mandy. It wasn't the lifeless voice I've heard over the past f
MandyI can't believe he wrote me back. Writing and correspondence haven't been a part of Dalton's life since we used letters in high school to communicate, but I'm excited as I rip into the envelope.Babe,I have to admit, I didn't even really read through all the list you gave me. I made it through the second point when I was reminded of that one New Year's Eve. You know which one I'm talkin' about, right?Your mom and dad watched the kids. We had a little too much Jack and Coke. You even smoked a little with me, and we were both feeling really good? I picked you up by the waist and threw you over my shoulder. Then out in the open, I stuck my hand between your legs.You remember?You were so wet and had me so hard we almost fucked in the hallway.My cheeks flush and burn at the same time. The night he's describing I remember like the back of my hand. That was one of the most passionate encounters we've ever had.And smoking with him? It isn't something I do often, bu
Dalton"Are you nervous?" Looking up, I see Liam standing in the doorway of my dorm. I'm doing my best not to show it, but fuck yeah, I'm nervous."Yeah.""You know she'll be okay, right?"He ambles over to the couch I have in here, taking a seat on it. He's slower than he used to be in most everything, but sitting down and getting up is hard on him. Hell, it'll be hard on all of us after we get past fifty."I always thought she would be," I admit to him. "But this last time, it scared the shit outta me.""Scared all of us, Dalton. But she's learning what she needs to, in order to have a great life.""I thought we had a great life." I pull a brush through my hair, anything to keep my hands moving."You did, you do, but you know as well as I do that mental health isn't one size fits all. You're doing the right thing here, going to visit her today."This is the day I've waited for, for so long. The day I'll finally get to see her and I'm scared as fuck. What if in th
MandySitting across from Dalton is worth everything I've done to get to this point. Seeing him again is my present for all this pain I've endured, for the work I've accomplished, even when I haven't been sure if what I'm doing is working."You look really good." I smile, holding his hand tightly across the table.What I wouldn't give to lay in his arms right now. "You do too, babe. God I've missed you."Those words make my soul feel lighter, they get rid of some of the doubt and punishment I've put on myself. "How's Walker? I wish he could have come with you.""He's good, doing much better since you wrote him that letter."Our conversation flounders, and I know it's not because there isn't a lot to say. It's because we're nervous. Which makes sense; the last time we saw each other, wasn't good for either one of us. One of the things I've realized in my therapy is I need to be the one to start the conversation."I'm sorry." I tilt my head to the side, pulling my