A finger tenderly sweeps away a thick strand of hair sticking to my face. I clench my stomach and focus on the soothing hand rubbing circles into my shoulder.
I gag as the remnants of my breakfast resurfaces. A foul aroma stings the inside of my nose, intensifying lingering nausea. With clammy palms, I push up on my trembling knees and stand. Martha wraps her arm in the crook of my elbow to hold me up while I try to walk.
"My lady?"
The worry in her voice awakens the terrifying truth that I am desperate not to face. This cannot be happening to me. It cannot. So I do not answer her.
"You've been this way for weeks now. Soon you will not be able to conceal it. The King is the only one who can save you now."
I gradually dip down onto my mattress. My fingers rake through my thick strands of hair. As they slide through the thinner ends I run them over my abdomen. Tears cloud my vision as I stare at my growing stomach. If anyone were to see me they would not be able to tell that I am with child, but that will soon change. Secrets cannot be kept hidden forever.
The sting of a tear that has unwillingly departed drips down my face. Uriah wanted a child for so long. I wish, with everything that I am, that the baby growing inside of me was his. I cradle a prince in my womb. Should I be proud? The emotions swirling inside of me feel far from pride. I know Martha is right. Time is my enemy.
If Uriah does not come home soon I will be dragged into the streets and stoned by the villagers. But the war continues to wage. I cannot be certain that he will come home at all. My neighbors will not spare me if they think me an adulteress.
"Martha, give this message to the King. Tell him I am pregnant. Say nothing else."
Then I turn to Elisheva. As I look at her deeply lined face, no doubt from worry, I can hear Martha's hurried footsteps retreating.
"Go to my brother. Tell him the same. Do not linger. Deliver your message and return to me quickly."
Machir was the only member of my family who knew what I had done. The anger he has towards the king will only intensify with the message of my pregnancy. What could he do? He could not defend my honor- that would be treason!
No, my big brother could do nothing but stew in silence and hope that King David found a new distraction. The man he looked up to since Machir was a young child had defiled his sister. I can not imagine the disillusionment that must be consuming him.
Elisheva ends her lingering stare and reluctantly obeys my orders. As soon as her sandals are out of sight I clasp my hand over my lips to stifle the sobs boiling to the surface. More than anything I wish Uriah were here.
Would he be infuriated with me?
Would he defend me or disown me?
Would he still love me?
I do not know any of the answers running unrestrained in my mind. All I know is that my life will never be the same.
"How could this have happened?!"I look at him with disbelief. He paces across the length of his chamber, his sandals clicking against the tiles. A flame of anger ignites within me.Tightening my grip around my arms, I reply scornfully, "I can't be
The violet silk draping from my head down my back encompasses my arms and hides my growing stomach. I stare uneasily out the window wondering, waiting, and hoping that the rumors my ladies overheard while they were in the marketplace are true.The King has summoned Uriah home. When I first heard the report from my ladies I was filled with sheer terror mingled with longing. I miss him so much. For months at a time I have thought of nothing but him. Every night I worried over his safety and wondered if he was still alive.
I storm past the guards and clip around the corner. They don't try to stop me. I don't blame them. I must look horrifying. The anger pulsing through my face radiates from my cheeks as it carves deep crevices in my forehead.I am beyond furious. I'm not exactly sure what I will do once I see him. I hadn't planned that far ahead. As soon as I heard what he had done I hastened toward the palace, leaving any reason at home.
The faces of these men that I recognize so well blur as my eyes begin to sting. Tears stream down my cheeks, unleashing a torrent of emotions that I cannot hold back. These soldiers who served with my father and with Uriah in the King's elite group of warriors called the Thirty have ripped out my heart with three words."Uriah is dead."
"How can you do this?!"His eyes flicker up to mine, the corners of his lips pulled into a crooked frown. This small semblance of remorse gives me hope. He strides towards me and I begin to feel small. His lean figure towers over me, his shadow engulfing mine.
As I slowly sip from my goblet of wine, I avoid the glaring eyes burning holes through my skin. King David seems to be unaware of the blazing stares cast my way. He seems oblivious to the shame and disgrace he has publically shown his first wife Michal, by having me sit at his right side. The air is rife with tension.If looks could kill, I would be drowning in a pool of blood at Michal's feet. Her eyes are not the only pair that I intentionally avoid, though. My grandfather sits at the en
I'm drowning in my own reflection, slipping into the void beyond the glass. The red stain on my lips brings out the color in my eyes. The powder on my face darkens the pearl-embellished braids of my hair.I don't even recognize myself. Martha strings another pearl into one of my curls, then takes a step back to admire her work.
Four weeks later...The doors of my chambers creak open. I spin on my heels to find a feeble elderly woman slowly making her way towards me when shaky steps. She carries something within the clutch of her weathered hands. I glide towards her effortlessly, wishing to spare her the trouble of having to cross the distance between us.