Chapter 5 | Aftermath

A finger tenderly sweeps away a thick strand of hair sticking to my face. I clench my stomach and focus on the soothing hand rubbing circles into my shoulder.

I gag as the remnants of my breakfast resurfaces. A foul aroma stings the inside of my nose, intensifying lingering nausea. With clammy palms, I push up on my trembling knees and stand. Martha wraps her arm in the crook of my elbow to hold me up while I try to walk.

"My lady?"

The worry in her voice awakens the terrifying truth that I am desperate not to face. This cannot be happening to me. It cannot. So I do not answer her.

"You've been this way for weeks now. Soon you will not be able to conceal it. The King is the only one who can save you now."

I gradually dip down onto my mattress. My fingers rake through my thick strands of hair. As they slide through the thinner ends I run them over my abdomen. Tears cloud my vision as I stare at my growing stomach. If anyone were to see me they would not be able to tell that I am with child, but that will soon change. Secrets cannot be kept hidden forever.

The sting of a tear that has unwillingly departed drips down my face. Uriah wanted a child for so long. I wish, with everything that I am, that the baby growing inside of me was his. I cradle a prince in my womb. Should I be proud? The emotions swirling inside of me feel far from pride. I know Martha is right. Time is my enemy.

If Uriah does not come home soon I will be dragged into the streets and stoned by the villagers. But the war continues to wage. I cannot be certain that he will come home at all. My neighbors will not spare me if they think me an adulteress.

"Martha, give this message to the King. Tell him I am pregnant. Say nothing else."

Then I turn to Elisheva. As I look at her deeply lined face, no doubt from worry, I can hear Martha's hurried footsteps retreating.

"Go to my brother. Tell him the same. Do not linger. Deliver your message and return to me quickly."

Machir was the only member of my family who knew what I had done. The anger he has towards the king will only intensify with the message of my pregnancy. What could he do? He could not defend my honor- that would be treason!

No, my big brother could do nothing but stew in silence and hope that King David found a new distraction. The man he looked up to since Machir was a young child had defiled his sister. I can not imagine the disillusionment that must be consuming him.

Elisheva ends her lingering stare and reluctantly obeys my orders. As soon as her sandals are out of sight I clasp my hand over my lips to stifle the sobs boiling to the surface. More than anything I wish Uriah were here.

Would he be infuriated with me?

Would he defend me or disown me?

Would he still love me?

I do not know any of the answers running unrestrained in my mind. All I know is that my life will never be the same.