No matter how much I drink that night, or how much I pour myself into my work the next day, I can't get him out of my mind. Get them out of my mind. For Emilia is every bit a part of the images that haunt me as he is. Waking or sleeping, I can't close my eyes without seeing the pair of them writhing together. Without their groans of pleasure ringing in my ears. Without the heat of humiliation flooding my skin yet again.It's wrong, how much this hurts. How much it stings like betrayal - but that's unfair, because it's not like I expected him to be celibate all this time, even if I've been more or less a nun. But it brings up feelings that are a little too familiar, feelings that crept in slowly during those last few weeks of our relationship. Very pathetic feelings, I'll be the first to admit. But I loved him so deeply, so intensely, and I always wondered why a huge celebrity like Dante Fontaine - a guy who could have any woman in the world - would choose me instead of some starlet or
"Ashlyn?" Jack says again in my ear."I'll have to call you back," I mumble as I pull the phone away from my ear. I'm not sure whether I'm more shocked or anxious or pissed, but my stomach is suddenly in knots.This isn't an accident. He didn't just get an urge for a muffin and stumble into the nearest bakery. He's looking right at me, and even though I can't see his eyes behind his dark shades, that gaze still makes me shiver. He came here looking for me. I know it.But he doesn't say a word. Doesn't even come over to me. Instead, he walks right up to the register, where Karen is waiting."Good morning," she says cheerfully. "What can I get you today?"She hasn't recognized him yet. Understandably, since he's gone above and beyond to cover himself up. If he hadn't, no doubt the paparazzi would be pressed against our window right now. Dante might not spend as much time on screen as his brother Luca - who's a bona fide movie star - or even his brother Raphael, but he's every bit as
It's so shocking to hear my name on Dante's lips after all this time that it takes a moment for his words to sink in. "What's a sham?""Their engagement. Their whole relationship. It isn't real and it never was. It's just for the cameras." He throws another quick glance over his shoulder. "Frankly, I shouldn't even be talking about it. I'd appreciate it if you kept this bit of information between us."I don't know why this news is so shocking, but it is. Luca was the first of the Fontaine brothers to get engaged, but it never occurred to me that the whole thing might be a lie."It's done wonders for the publicity of Cataclysm: Earth," he continues casually. "And it's helped both Luca and Emilia tremendously.""And you," I point out. It's his movie too, after all. He wrote the damn thing.But he takes my words a different way."Emilia and I, we - ""I don't need to know," I say quickly. "That's your business." I pull my pen away from the paper. "Now, about this cake - how large w
I keep my eyes carefully trained on the form in my hands. "The cake is the only thing I'm interested in speaking to you about.""God, you're even more beautiful than I remember." Dante's voice is low, rough. "But just as feisty."Something flutters in my stomach at those words, but anger quickly suppresses the sensation."What do you want?" I demand. "Why the hell are you here?""I should think that would be obvious," he says. "I'm here to see you. To convince myself that you weren't just a figment of my imagination."For the love of God, I wish he would take off those damn sunglasses and let me read his expression."Well, you've seen me," I say. "And I have a business to run, so if you don't mind, I'd like to get back to work."He glances around the shop. "You've got a charming little place here. You always did make amazing desserts. You seem to have done very well for yourself since the last time we spoke.""A lot has changed since we were together," I admit.His chin dips s
"We have to go," Jack says."Why?" I'm working on a batch of lemon tarts, but my cell is jammed beneath my ear. I've spent the last ten minutes going over every last detail of the Dante encounter with Jack, including the invitation to his house on Sunday."Because how often do we get invited to the home of one of the Fontaines? Or any celebrity, for that matter?"I don't bother pointing out that I've been to Dante's place before. Attending Dante's little get-together means continuing to engage him, and I refuse to do that."You work for Brockman now," I remind Jack. "I'm sure you'll have plenty of chances to hang out with celebrities.""Not at their homes. Or at their private parties. Come on, Ash, how bad could it be?""Very bad. Very, very bad. I don't think he believed me when I told him I had a boyfriend.""All the more reason you should show up with me and we should rub it in his face.""I'm not sure we could pull that off.""Are you kidding? People always think we're a c
I feel anything but strong as I stare up at Dante's house.The first time I came here, years ago, I had no idea what I was in for. Dante and I were working together on a project for film school, and though obviously I was well aware of who he was - you had to have been living under a rock to not know about the Fontaines - I was less than thrilled to have to cooperate with him on a project. He already had the career, the connections, the esteem - I'd have preferred to work with someone more like me, who had to rely on hard work and talent rather than family or money.He'd insisted on meeting here, at his home, rather than the much-more-convenient library or coffee shop near campus. It had annoyed me to no end, and the first time I stomped up the steps, I hardly gave his house - his mansion - a second glance.I noticed it later, of course, for I returned to his house many times, at all times of day - but it never seemed quite as big, quite as impressive, as it does tonight.Jack seem
Things are quiet for a while, and I stay tucked away in the shadows at the far side of the pool, sipping at my drink and watching the party unfold around me. I'm glad to be alone, but now that Jack isn't here to distract me, it's hard to keep my memories at bay.Dante and I spent quite a bit of time by this pool. We often studied out here - there was something about the sun on my skin and the ocean breeze in my hair that made me feel both calm and energized at once. And Dante always claimed that he did his best work outside. He used to sit in that lounge chair beneath the cabana and scribble away at his latest script. He always preferred to write his first drafts by hand - he said that the words flowed better through a pen than through a keyboard.I think that might have been when I realized I was in love with him - the first time I saw him bent over his notebook, his eyes bright as they followed his pen across the paper. It was like I was watching him pour his soul onto the page.I
Dante is here.Dante, who couldn't be bothered to show up at his own damn party. This is who sneaked up behind me when I thought I'd finally found a moment of privacy. Immediately, rage boils up in me."What the hell are you doing out here?" I say, ignoring the jolt of pain in my ankle as I shift my weight. "You scared the crap out of me!""I'm sorry," he says, and there's a hint of wicked amusement in his voice. "I didn't mean to startle you.""It's not polite to sneak up on people," I snap. Beneath the anger, I feel something else - a sudden panic that threatens to drown out everything else. I wasn't prepared to run into Dante out here. Without Jack. With my hair sopping wet and my dress sticking to my skin. My anger is all I have, so I cling to it."Why aren't you at your party?" I demand. "Why are you skulking around out here by yourself?" It's not until the words leave my mouth that I realize he might not be by himself. Oh, God - please don't let him be down here with Emilia.
My stomach explodes with butterflies - but I'm not sure whether I'm excited or anxious as Dante slides his arm around me and leads me from the room. This whole evening - this whole relationship - is a lot to take in.He takes me out behind the house. The sun has gone down, casting the grounds in shadow, but from what I can see, the property is gorgeous. Like Dante, Charles and Giovanna have a large pool, but Dante leads me around the edge of the water to the terrace overlooking the gardens below.I grab onto the wrought-iron rail and tilt my head back, looking up at the sky. It's a clear night, and though the lights of the city cast a green-gold glow on the sky, there are still hundreds of stars winking back at me.Dante is quiet - too quiet. After a moment, I glance over at him, and I find him looking up at the sky with an expression I can't read. But he's got his lips pressed tightly together."What is it?" I ask.One corner of his mouth drifts up. "I was just trying to think of
The mansion of Charles and Giovanna Fontaine is insane.It's huge, of course. And gorgeous. And surrounded by grounds that make it look like we're somewhere in Tuscany. If I thought Dante's house was intimidating, it's nothing compared to this.Though I'm sure the fact that I'm about to meet his parents isn't helping my nerves.I'm a bundle of anxiety as Dante leads me through the front door. His arm is hooked through mine, his fingers offering a reassuring touch on my inner wrist."You look gorgeous," he murmurs to me as he leads me across the foyer and into the formal living room. "They're going to love you."The rest of his family is already here, and my breath stops as I take them in. At least one of the advantages of dating a Fontaine is that I already know the names of many of the people here in this room - there won't be any awkward lapses of memory later. Still, meeting everyone at once is more than a little intimidating. It's not just the fact that they're Dante's family,
"What about the press?" I ask Dante."We'll face together. We might have to deal with some rumors after word gets out that I've dropped Cataclysm: Aftermath. But we'll manage. Maybe I can arrange for us to take an extended trip to Bali."I laugh and wipe away a tear. "You know I can't leave my bakery for that long.""Then we'll figure out something else. But we'll do it together." He sobers a little. "I want you to tell me if you get any more harassing messages.""Only if you promise to tell me what's going on with your work." I look down at my hands on his chest. "I'm not trying to pry, I just...""I know." He tilts my face back up toward his. "We have a lot to share. A lot to keep discovering about each other." He twirls a loose strand of my hair around his finger, still looking far too serious. "You'll still have reporters and paparazzi poking around for a while, I'm afraid. I'm hoping that if I stay away from any high-profile projects, we might get a little privacy, but you ne
This can't be happening. Not here, not like this. This is too soon. This is too crazy."Dante..." I whisper. I can't make this decision with all of these people watching."I shredded that script," he murmurs against the backs of my fingers. "I told them to find someone else to rewrite it.""You didn't have to - ""I did. And I'd do it again."Panic is rising in my chest. "Dante, if we could go somewhere a little more private..."He brushes his lips against my knuckles. "I'll follow you anywhere you wish to go."I pull him to his feet and lead him back through the kitchen, past a wide-eyed Mama Pat and straight into the walk-in cooler. I have no idea what I'm going to say or do. But the moment the door is shut behind us, I find myself sinking against his chest.His arms come up around me - one around my waist, the other around my upper back, squeezing me to him as if he never intends to let me go. I press my face against his shirt."I'm scared," I whisper. "I'm so scared, Dante
My "vacation" doesn't leave me feeling much better.Sure, I get plenty of food and plenty of sleep - and both Mama Pat and her husband are kind, generous hosts - but my heart still feels heavy. I feel lost. Dragged out by a rip tide. And I'm not sure what to do but continue to push on. The moment I heard back from Jack - he agreed to meet for lunch this coming week, thank goodness - I switched off my phone. I've avoided television and the internet. I need time to think.But thinking is hard when I'm like this. Every time I close my eyes I feel Dante's arms around me. Feel his lips against mine. Feel his fingers on my skin. Sometimes, I let myself sink into those fantasies. But every time I do, the feelings of love and desire are quickly drowned beneath a rush of pain and fear. I love him. I love him so much I don't know what to do with myself. He holds my heart in his hands, could break it without any effort at all - and he knows exactly where my weak spots are. I hate that he has th
Mama Pat is my savior. She picks me up from Dante's house, and I don't think I've ever been happier to have a mama hen in my entire life.The moment I slide into her car she looks me up and down. "Need to talk about it, honey?"I shake my head. If I say a word about Dante, I'll lose my carefully maintained self-control, and I'm barely holding myself together as it is."Thank you for coming to get me," I tell her. "Normally I'd have called Jack, but he and I aren't exactly on good terms right now.""You know I'm always here for you, my dear."I do know. Mama Pat's been the closest thing I've had to a mother since my own died, and something about the way she's looking at me now - with compassion and understanding - softens me. I need a friend, a mom, right now."I'm an idiot," I say, leaning my head against the car window. "I should have known I wasn't strong enough to handle this. I knew I was being stupid and emotional... but I let myself fall right back into his arms.""Don't b
I can tell the exact moment Dante's eyes land on the sheet of paper because his fingers freeze. "Where did you get that?""Your notes blew off the table and I was picking them up." I shouldn't have looked at them, I know, but it's too late for such regrets. "Is this a character in your script? You're using this? Using me?"He doesn't speak for a long moment. Too long. And when the words finally come, he talks slowly, as if choosing every word carefully. "Writers use real people as inspiration sometimes, Ash. It helps us create characters that feel authentic. But a lot of influences go into a character. Bits and pieces from different people and different experiences."I'm still frozen in his arms. "Her name is Ashley.""That was the director's decision. It's his girlfriend's name - purely a coincidence.""But this note about me isn't a coincidence. You have a comment about her running a bakery... about her having emotional baggage..." But my eyes keep going back to the weaknesses:
I wake to the soft in-and-out of Dante's breath against my cheek.We're in his bed, and for once, I've woken before him. My body is draped across his, and his chest rises and falls beneath my arm. I can feel his slow, steady heartbeat beneath the pads of my fingers.For a long moment, I just lie there and stare at him. Watch the slight flutter of his dark lashes against his cheeks. Admire the long, hard lines of his body. He has a habit of kicking the sheets off while he sleeps, so most of his well-muscled form is in view. I let my fingers drift across the plane of his chest, following the path my mouth took last night. It must be close to dawn because the light that leaks in through the window is pale pink against his skin.I'm not sure how long I lie there watching him. My body feels languid, content. Any tension or anxiety I felt last night disappeared beneath Dante's passionate touch. I feel like we could take on the world together.We left the window cracked last night, and a
"Men were threatening you?" Dante demands. "Men you know?" His voice is so strained that he hardly even sounds like himself.I shake my head. "Strangers."The muscles of his chest are rigid beneath my hands. He doesn't move - doesn't even breathe - for a full minute."Why didn't you tell me this?" he demands finally. His eyes bore into me."I knew it would upset you.""Of course it upsets me!""Well, it's not like there's anything we can do about it," I say."You still should have told me." He releases me and turns away, his hands going to his hair."What good has it done, telling you?" I say. "You don't tell me everything, either. We've just started seeing each other again. It's okay to still have some secrets."He turns back toward me. "And what secrets do you think I'm hiding from you?""Not secrets, necessarily," I say. "But you dodge all of my questions about your work." Between the tense phone calls and his odd behavior at the studio, something is definitely going on.