I bolt down the stairs as fast as my heels allow, not bothering to see if he follows. When I reach the foot of the stairs, I find Ashlyn waiting, trying to look casual as she lingers by the railing. She takes one look at me and concern fills her face."Edie," she says. "What - ""I'm leaving," I tell her, pushing past. I don't like being rude to her, but the faster I get away from Rafe and his family, the better. I dash toward the front door, but Ashlyn catches up with me quickly."What happened?" she asks."Nothing," I tell her. "Nothing at all. Which is my cue to leave. I shouldn't have come here."Ashlyn keeps pace with me as I hurry down the steps to the driveway. It's only when I reach the bottom that I remember I have nowhere to go, no way to leave immediately. I'll need to call a taxi."Edie," Ashlyn says, "please tell me what's going on."There's nowhere to run. I stop and force myself to take a breath. My eyes are aching, but they're mysteriously free of tears.I look
When I wake, I hear voices.It takes me a moment to remember where I am and how I got here. I roll over in the giant bed, reveling at how smooth and silky the sheets feel against my skin. My hand finds my belly."Good morning, sweet one," I say softly to my baby.The morning light peeks in around the wooden blinds on the window, casting long, warm sunbeams across the bed. I want to stay beneath the covers a while longer, hide from the rest of the world. In here, my baby and I are safe and secure. For the time being, anyway.But try as I might, I can't ignore the voices outside my room. They're not particularly loud, and half the words are muffled, but I can hear enough to make out Ashlyn's voice. And the male voice, I'm assuming, belongs to Dante.I sit up, trying both to hear and not to hear their conversation."He should know," Ashlyn says."I agree," says Dante, "but you know how Rafe can be. We need to figure out what happens if he continues to be stubborn.""Which he will.
I brace myself. I knew this was coming, and I have nothing to hide. Besides, I'm too hungry to care about what Dante and Ashlyn think of me. They can think whatever they want as long as they keep feeding me these cinnamon rolls. After breakfast, I'm never going to see these two again, and answering a few questions is the least I can do after they gave me a place to sleep and provided me with heaven on a plate."I'm from Montana," I manage between bites. "I'm sure you've never heard of the town, but we're about an hour from Missoula.""And that's where you met Rafe?" Ashlyn asks, her questions becoming a little more pointed. "At the diner? Oh, wait - you said it was at someone's ranch?""No, we met down by the river," I tell her. "After I got off work. I usually work the overnight shift.""This was when he was shooting that campaign for Mercutio's new cologne?""Maybe." I take another bite. "We never really talked about why he was there. I just heard they were doing some sort of
Ashlyn and Dante are better, kinder hosts than I ever could have hoped for. Better hosts than I deserve, considering I showed up out of the blue and dropped a bombshell on their brother.After I agree to stay, Ashlyn wants to take me shopping for clothes. I refuse to let her or Dante spend more money on me than they already have, but I finally agree to borrow some of her clothes so I don't have to wear this party dress for the next week. Fortunately, I'm not really showing yet, so I can still squeeze into her stuff without stretching it out. I'm grateful to see that even though money obviously isn't an issue for Ashlyn, most of her clothes seem normal. No designer tags or luxury fabrics. I can't imagine wearing expensive stuff all the time - I'd be so afraid of dripping something on a silk top or getting mud on a fancy pair of shoes. What's the point of clothes if you can't do anything in them?But Ashlyn's sundresses do just fine for me. She offers me some jeans and blouses, too, an
I leave the zipper only half done and dart to the closet door. Rafe is here. What am I supposed to do? Tentatively, I open the door. Ashlyn is nowhere to be seen."Dante!" Rafe calls again. His voice sounds odd. "Dante, where the fuck are you? You fucking fuckwad."He's drunk. Or at least crazed out of his mind.I creep forward to the bedroom door. Now I hear footsteps moving toward the front of the house. They're too heavy to be Ashlyn's, so I suspect Dante has heard his brother's shouting.Sure enough, a moment later my ears pick up Dante's voice, but he's speaking too quietly for me to hear what he's saying. I open the bedroom door and move to the top of the stairs. Due to the curve of the stairs, I'm out of sight where I'm standing."Why don't we talk about this in my office?" Dante says."How the fuck are you so fucking calm?" Rafe demands as their footsteps move toward the back of the house.I know I should wait for Rafe to come looking for me, or for Dante to call for me,
Rafe's eyes burn into me as he repeats, "Why are you still here?"Every word vibrates through me like a kiss, a delicious but dangerous touch on my skin."They asked me to stay," I tell him. "Dante and Ashlyn.""That's not what I mean." He shifts ever-so-slightly nearer. "You were different than the others. And then you lied to me. So I'm going to ask you one more time - why are you still here?"I can hardly think straight. That look in his eyes...the heat of his breath on my face...the nearness of his body, up against me... All of it makes it impossible to put more than a few words together.But I have to. So I choke out the words."I never lied to you."He moves so fast I have no time to react. One moment he's leaning over me, the next he's turned and pushed me up against the door. Not violently - in spite of his intensity, I don't fear violence from him at all. In fact, I'm not even sure he touches me. It's just one minute he's leaning over me, and the next I'm against the do
Rafe's nose wrinkles, his confusion visibly deepening, but I don't have time to explain it to him. My stomach lurches."Bathroom!" I say again, desperately, and his eyes finally seem to register some understanding. He steps back and points to a door on the far side of the room."Over there."I run. The dress falls down around my waist, but thankfully it's still zipped enough to stay up around my hips. I barely make it to the toilet before everything comes rushing up.I don't even hear Rafe come into the bathroom behind me. I only notice he's there when I feel a pair of hands pulling my hair back. The scent of him washes over me, and it's comforting, even as I puke my guts out.When I'm done, I sit back on my heels. I don't want to ruin any of Dante's and Ashlyn's fancy hand towels, so I grab some toilet paper from the roll and wipe my face before daring to look up at Rafe.His expression is unreadable. If anything, though, he's looking at me as if I were some sort of alien. Somet
Somehow, I let Ashlyn talk me into a snug green dress that makes my breasts look three sizes larger than usual. I'm sure the pregnancy thing helps, too, but I can't remember my boobs ever looking even half this size.My hair is down around my shoulders, and I've crammed my feet into a strappy pair of Ashlyn's shoes. Ashlyn tries to convince me to wear some of her jewelry, too, but I draw the line at wearing someone else's fancy jewels - even if Ashlyn insists they're just from the mall. I'm not sure I believe her.Ashlyn seems to think that showing up at this party looking gorgeous will be enough to seduce Rafe. I have to laugh at her. If anyone is doing any seducing around here, it's definitely not going to be me. I lose my head every time I'm around Rafe. I can tell myself that my baby and I are better off without him...but that determination falls away the minute I fall into his eyes.I'm feeling oddly calm as we pull up to the party. Maybe I've just finally accepted how absurd a
I learn a few things in the ride to the hospital: first, that we're somewhere in southern Idaho. Second, that Rafe was in Las Vegas when Matt contacted him to tell him he had me."Don't ask me about Vegas, please," Rafe begs me. "I haven't exactly been coping well since you left me. And for the love of God, don't read any of the tabloids that come out in the next week."And I'm okay with not knowing. This time.He stays with me at the hospital, holding my hand the entire time. Now that the immediate danger has passed and I've calmed down a little, I'm not as worried about the baby. I can't explain how I know, but I sense that he or she is still safe and sound inside me. Just perhaps a little stunned by the whole ordeal.You're okay, sweet one, aren't you?Rafe isn't nearly as confident. His grip on my hand is like iron, and he's gone at least two shades paler since we entered the hospital. Like the last time, he barks at both the doctors and the nurses, demanding to know why we ar
Rafe presses his mouth against my hair. My temple. My ear. My cheek. He rains kisses down on me - soft, gentle kisses that are sweet enough to make me forget the pain for a moment.And then I remember where we are."Where is he?" I ask. "Where did he go?" I lift my head, and for the first time since leaving the trunk, I look around. We appear to be at some sort of rest stop, only judging by the condition of this place, it's been out of use for some time. The building is run down, the roof partially caved in on the right side. The single vending machine has been smashed open, and there's not a single snack left inside. The parking lot is overgrown with weeds."He took off walking down the highway," Rafe says. "But he won't get far. I have a few friends waiting for him.""Friends?""Let's just say a local motorcycle gang owes me a favor from a few years ago."I lean back, looking up at him. As usual, his response brings up more questions than answers. But I try to focus on the most
"You fucking bastard," Rafe says. His back is rigid, his hands clenched. In the back waistband of his jeans I see the handle of a gun, and I'm both shocked and relieved to see that he has one, too. But it does him no good tucked away like that. If he moves a muscle, Matt might shoot him where he stands."I tried to do this the nice way," Matt says, "but you wouldn't listen to reason.""What do you want?" Rafe asks. "More money?"Matt shakes his head. "No. We're past that.""Then why the hell won't you leave me alone?""Because you fucked me over. And when you fuck me over, I fuck you over."The panic is threatening to take over me again. Rafe is in trouble. Matt clearly has no intention of negotiating anything. If anything, it's beginning to sound like he lured Rafe out here to murder him. I can't let that happen - but what can I do, bound and gagged like this?I don't have many options. But all Rafe needs is for Matt to be distracted for a second or two - just enough time to re
I wake to a splitting headache and shooting pains up and down my arms.At first, I don't remember what happened to me. And I don't understand why I can't move my body properly. Everything aches, but there's noticeably sharper pain at my wrist and ankles, as well as running from my hands all the way up to my shoulders.My arms are trapped behind my back, I notice as I twist slightly. That's why they hurt so much. I try to move them, but I find that my wrists are tied. So are my ankles.That's when I remember everything - the creeping sensation in the parking lot, the sudden appearance of Rafe's sketchy friend, the way he grabbed me and held something over my mouth.He chloroformed me.Panic shoots though my body - first for myself, for the briefest of seconds, and then for my baby.Oh my God, my baby.I try to scream, but there's a gag in my mouth and the sound is muffled. Wherever I am, it's too dark to see anything. I writhe, trying to loosen the bonds around my wrists and ankl
Very quickly, my life falls into a pattern again - work, sleep, chores around the house, errands. After the first week, people seem to realize that I'm not on the cusp of a breakdown, and many of them begin to acknowledge the baby. Men hold doors open for me, women ask how I'm feeling, and I receive a couple of anonymous gifts on my doorstep - a bundle of hand-me-down baby clothes, tied up in a soft blanket, and a few care-worn books about pregnancy and baby care. I feel a tinge of heartache at the sight of the books - they remind me of the ones on Rafe's desk - so I set them aside for the time being. There's still plenty of time to come back to them later.See? I tell myself on the ninth day after my return. You don't need him. You already have all of the support you need right here. I rub my hand across my softly rounded belly. We'll make it, sweet one. One way or another.I can almost believe that, at least when I'm awake. Every morning, when I fall into my bed to sleep, I dream o
- THREE DAYS LATER - This is how air is supposed to smell. Funny, that that's the first thing I notice when I step outside my door. I'd forgotten what fresh, clean air smells like. How it feels on my skin. If I close my eyes, I can pick out all the pieces of it - the faint scent of spruce, the hint of moisture that means we'll have rain sometime during the night, the crisp coolness the wind picks up in its trip across the valley.I knew I missed home, but now I wonder how I ever survived away from it for so long. There's a peacefulness here, a wildness that makes me feel like everything is going to be all right.Some of the time, anyway.Now I just have to stop missing Rafe. There's a familiar pang of loss in my stomach, but I ignore it and head to work. I feel like I'm doing that a lot these days – shoving down the feelings I don't know how to deal with right now.Even the Dandelion Diner looks more cheerful than I remember. The fluorescent lights on the sign welcome me back wit
I wait until the middle of the night to leave. I know he deserves better, but I don't trust myself to actually walk away if I have to do it face-to-face.Carefully, I pull away from the circle of his arms. His breathing is steady and deep, and he hardly even stirs as I quietly slip out of bed. I gather my few things and quickly dress. I've been debating whether or not to leave him a note, to tell him where I've gone and why. It feels less cowardly, somehow, to write him a message, even if I'm still sneaking away while he's asleep.I pause next to the bed, looking down at him. He looks so big and strong, even when he's asleep, but there's a slight softness about him, too. It's that softness that makes my heart ache now.Against my better judgment, I lean down over him, brushing my lips softly against his brow."Goodbye," I whisper.Then I sneak quietly out the bedroom door.I make it about ten paces before I first have to fight the urge to turn back. But I place my hand on my bell
I stumble into one of the downstairs bathrooms, my stomach heaving. But when I bend over the toilet, nothing comes up.It actually explains a lot, the drugs. It explains why Rafe has been so secretive about who he is outside of the time he spends with me. And why he got so upset that I'd researched him online - maybe one of his arrests was drug related, or maybe his habit was openly discussed in the tabloids. Why didn't Cynthia warn me about that? Why didn't Ashlyn?It also may explain the mysterious man who keeps showing up where Rafe is. What if he's Rafe's dealer? He certainly looked the part. Or worse - what if Rafe is his dealer? Maybe acting and modeling isn't wild or dangerous enough for Rafe and he started a little side business just to entertain himself.I understand now why he's been so closed-mouthed about all of this. He knew it would be a deal-breaker, that I'd never agree to raise my baby around someone actively involved with drugs.I'm so sorry, sweet one, I think. I
This is dangerous. I need to take care of myself - need to guard myself against him somehow. But how? He can completely undo me with a single touch.When we reach Rafe's house, I'm still a little light-headed. Hot and heavy sex will do that to you. As I try to clear the brain fog, Rafe puts a warm, steady hand on my waist."I'm going to go hop in the shower," he says. "Care to join me?"It will be more than a shower, I know."I'm going to go grab a glass of water first," I say. "I'll join you in a minute."He dips his head and bites me right where my neck meets my shoulder. I gasp in pleasure, and he releases me with a devilish grin on his face. He wants to make sure I'm still aching for him before he walks away.It's on wobbly legs that I make my way to the kitchen. I grab a glass of water and fill it at the faucet, wondering why I can't seem to escape this complicated mess. As I wait for my glass to fill, I look down at my belly. I spread my fingers and press my hand against it