Any thought I had of paying for my own clothes goes out the window as soon as I glance at a tag in La Bella Boutique. I was expecting the prices to be double or triple those of what nice clothes might cost back home. Instead, it's more like five or six times as much. I'm not sure I even have enough in my debit account to buy a single dress.Especially when you won't be able to fit in that dress in a few months, I remind myself.I refuse help from the salesgirl when she approaches me. Instead, I wander through the racks, eyeing the dresses around me. Some are simple and elegant, others shimmery and bright. Some have classic designs, others are what I can only assume are the hot new fashions. I have a couple of "nicer" dresses back home - things to wear to the occasional wedding or funeral I find myself attending - but nothing that looks like anything in this store.And even if I knew what I liked, I have no idea what I'm expected to wear to a Hollywood party. How formal is this thing
I twist around. I was so focused on my thoughts that I never even noticed Rafe coming up behind me in the reflection of the mirror."No," I say quickly. "I can't let you - ""It's already done," he replies, handing his credit card to the salesgirl. Short of lunging after her and knocking it out of her hand, I can't stop him."I can't let you pay for this," I tell him."Why not? I was the one who invited you to the party at the last minute. If I'd planned ahead, you would have been prepared and brought your own dress. It's only fair that I pay for the inconvenience."I start to argue that what he's spending is far, far too much for a little inconvenience, but before I can, he steps closer, and all the air rushes out of my lungs."I insist," he says, sliding his hand up the side of my neck. He finds a bit of hair that has escaped from the sparkling clip and twists it around his finger. "Consider it a gift."And that's when I realize that I'm never going to be able to tell this man
I climb out of the car. There are a handful of other people filtering inside - and they all look like they could be celebrities or models.I jump at the touch of Rafe's fingers on my back."Are you ready?" he murmurs into my ear."Yes," I say, finding my courage. This is just a stupid party, I tell myself. You're going to have to learn to be brave for the little one growing inside you. I imagine there are going to be much tougher challenges on the road ahead.You should let yourself enjoy the moment, I tell myself as I let Rafe lead me toward the door. Here I am looking fabulous, walking into a mansion, on the arm of a gorgeous man who most women probably dream of dating. If there was ever a moment to let go and live it up, it's now.Rafe's hand flattens against my back, almost as if he can sense my nerves. I smile up at him, and he pulls me closer to his side."Just smile and nod and make small talk," he tells me. "And if all else fails, stroke a few egos. The people in this tow
We both turn at the sound of that sultry female voice.The woman approaching us has long, flowing hair that fades from blond on top down to a dark, almost chocolate shade at the ends. She's in a silvery mini-dress - which emphasizes that her legs go on for miles - and I'd bet what little I have in my savings account that she's a model, or at least an aspiring one."We have some catching up to do," she purrs, sliding her arm around Rafe's waist and leaning into him. She turns her lips to his ear. "What do you say we head over to the bar?""Charity," he says pleasantly, "may I introduce you to Edie?"He pulls me around him, bringing me face-to-face with her.I have no idea what to do in this sort of situation - laugh it off? Mark my territory? In the end, I just stick out my hand in greeting, silently cursing at Rafe for making this awkward."Nice to meet you," I say. "Charity, was it?"Her glossy lips transform into a sneer so quickly that I realize immediately I've said somethin
I have no idea how to answer Dante's probing question.Suddenly a woman - the red-haired one Dante was standing with earlier - appears at his side. Ashlyn, I remember."I told you not to give her the third degree," she says to him. To me, she adds, "I hope he isn't bothering you.""He's not," I say quickly.She smiles. It's a pretty, genuine smile, and I get the distinct impression that this woman is normal, like me. A regular person. Maybe it's the dusting of freckles on her nose or simply the friendliness in her eyes, but she gives off a distinctive 'girl next door' quality. Rafe said she was a baker - that means she probably didn't grow up with models and movie stars."Good," she says. "We were both just a little curious about you. Rafe never brings dates around.""So I've been told." I glance back at Dante, but his intense study of me makes me want to squirm. So I keep my eyes on Ashlyn. Nice, normal Ashlyn."I'm Ashlyn," she says, extending a hand."I'm Edie." I take her h
I stumble to my feet - not an easy feat, considering I'm still woozy and in four-inch heels that are starting to hurt my feet."Ashlyn," I say, panic setting in, "please don't say anything.""To who, Dante?" She shakes her head. "Of course not. It's yours and Rafe's news to tell." Something in my face must give my thoughts away, though, because her eyes get impossibly wider. "Wait - Rafe knows about this, doesn't he?""Not...exactly," I say, shame filling me. "It's not that I'm actively trying to hide it from him, it's just that I - ""Hide what from me?" comes a deep, familiar voice from the door. Both Ashlyn and I jump. Rafe is standing in the doorway, leaning against the frame. "What's going on?"The bottom drops out of my stomach. There's no holding back the truth anymore.Ashlyn looks between us. "Maybe I should leave the two of you to talk privately." She glances at me once more before she leaves. "I'll be downstairs if you need me."When she's gone, Rafe and I spend a lon
I bolt down the stairs as fast as my heels allow, not bothering to see if he follows. When I reach the foot of the stairs, I find Ashlyn waiting, trying to look casual as she lingers by the railing. She takes one look at me and concern fills her face."Edie," she says. "What - ""I'm leaving," I tell her, pushing past. I don't like being rude to her, but the faster I get away from Rafe and his family, the better. I dash toward the front door, but Ashlyn catches up with me quickly."What happened?" she asks."Nothing," I tell her. "Nothing at all. Which is my cue to leave. I shouldn't have come here."Ashlyn keeps pace with me as I hurry down the steps to the driveway. It's only when I reach the bottom that I remember I have nowhere to go, no way to leave immediately. I'll need to call a taxi."Edie," Ashlyn says, "please tell me what's going on."There's nowhere to run. I stop and force myself to take a breath. My eyes are aching, but they're mysteriously free of tears.I look
When I wake, I hear voices.It takes me a moment to remember where I am and how I got here. I roll over in the giant bed, reveling at how smooth and silky the sheets feel against my skin. My hand finds my belly."Good morning, sweet one," I say softly to my baby.The morning light peeks in around the wooden blinds on the window, casting long, warm sunbeams across the bed. I want to stay beneath the covers a while longer, hide from the rest of the world. In here, my baby and I are safe and secure. For the time being, anyway.But try as I might, I can't ignore the voices outside my room. They're not particularly loud, and half the words are muffled, but I can hear enough to make out Ashlyn's voice. And the male voice, I'm assuming, belongs to Dante.I sit up, trying both to hear and not to hear their conversation."He should know," Ashlyn says."I agree," says Dante, "but you know how Rafe can be. We need to figure out what happens if he continues to be stubborn.""Which he will.
I learn a few things in the ride to the hospital: first, that we're somewhere in southern Idaho. Second, that Rafe was in Las Vegas when Matt contacted him to tell him he had me."Don't ask me about Vegas, please," Rafe begs me. "I haven't exactly been coping well since you left me. And for the love of God, don't read any of the tabloids that come out in the next week."And I'm okay with not knowing. This time.He stays with me at the hospital, holding my hand the entire time. Now that the immediate danger has passed and I've calmed down a little, I'm not as worried about the baby. I can't explain how I know, but I sense that he or she is still safe and sound inside me. Just perhaps a little stunned by the whole ordeal.You're okay, sweet one, aren't you?Rafe isn't nearly as confident. His grip on my hand is like iron, and he's gone at least two shades paler since we entered the hospital. Like the last time, he barks at both the doctors and the nurses, demanding to know why we ar
Rafe presses his mouth against my hair. My temple. My ear. My cheek. He rains kisses down on me - soft, gentle kisses that are sweet enough to make me forget the pain for a moment.And then I remember where we are."Where is he?" I ask. "Where did he go?" I lift my head, and for the first time since leaving the trunk, I look around. We appear to be at some sort of rest stop, only judging by the condition of this place, it's been out of use for some time. The building is run down, the roof partially caved in on the right side. The single vending machine has been smashed open, and there's not a single snack left inside. The parking lot is overgrown with weeds."He took off walking down the highway," Rafe says. "But he won't get far. I have a few friends waiting for him.""Friends?""Let's just say a local motorcycle gang owes me a favor from a few years ago."I lean back, looking up at him. As usual, his response brings up more questions than answers. But I try to focus on the most
"You fucking bastard," Rafe says. His back is rigid, his hands clenched. In the back waistband of his jeans I see the handle of a gun, and I'm both shocked and relieved to see that he has one, too. But it does him no good tucked away like that. If he moves a muscle, Matt might shoot him where he stands."I tried to do this the nice way," Matt says, "but you wouldn't listen to reason.""What do you want?" Rafe asks. "More money?"Matt shakes his head. "No. We're past that.""Then why the hell won't you leave me alone?""Because you fucked me over. And when you fuck me over, I fuck you over."The panic is threatening to take over me again. Rafe is in trouble. Matt clearly has no intention of negotiating anything. If anything, it's beginning to sound like he lured Rafe out here to murder him. I can't let that happen - but what can I do, bound and gagged like this?I don't have many options. But all Rafe needs is for Matt to be distracted for a second or two - just enough time to re
I wake to a splitting headache and shooting pains up and down my arms.At first, I don't remember what happened to me. And I don't understand why I can't move my body properly. Everything aches, but there's noticeably sharper pain at my wrist and ankles, as well as running from my hands all the way up to my shoulders.My arms are trapped behind my back, I notice as I twist slightly. That's why they hurt so much. I try to move them, but I find that my wrists are tied. So are my ankles.That's when I remember everything - the creeping sensation in the parking lot, the sudden appearance of Rafe's sketchy friend, the way he grabbed me and held something over my mouth.He chloroformed me.Panic shoots though my body - first for myself, for the briefest of seconds, and then for my baby.Oh my God, my baby.I try to scream, but there's a gag in my mouth and the sound is muffled. Wherever I am, it's too dark to see anything. I writhe, trying to loosen the bonds around my wrists and ankl
Very quickly, my life falls into a pattern again - work, sleep, chores around the house, errands. After the first week, people seem to realize that I'm not on the cusp of a breakdown, and many of them begin to acknowledge the baby. Men hold doors open for me, women ask how I'm feeling, and I receive a couple of anonymous gifts on my doorstep - a bundle of hand-me-down baby clothes, tied up in a soft blanket, and a few care-worn books about pregnancy and baby care. I feel a tinge of heartache at the sight of the books - they remind me of the ones on Rafe's desk - so I set them aside for the time being. There's still plenty of time to come back to them later.See? I tell myself on the ninth day after my return. You don't need him. You already have all of the support you need right here. I rub my hand across my softly rounded belly. We'll make it, sweet one. One way or another.I can almost believe that, at least when I'm awake. Every morning, when I fall into my bed to sleep, I dream o
- THREE DAYS LATER - This is how air is supposed to smell. Funny, that that's the first thing I notice when I step outside my door. I'd forgotten what fresh, clean air smells like. How it feels on my skin. If I close my eyes, I can pick out all the pieces of it - the faint scent of spruce, the hint of moisture that means we'll have rain sometime during the night, the crisp coolness the wind picks up in its trip across the valley.I knew I missed home, but now I wonder how I ever survived away from it for so long. There's a peacefulness here, a wildness that makes me feel like everything is going to be all right.Some of the time, anyway.Now I just have to stop missing Rafe. There's a familiar pang of loss in my stomach, but I ignore it and head to work. I feel like I'm doing that a lot these days – shoving down the feelings I don't know how to deal with right now.Even the Dandelion Diner looks more cheerful than I remember. The fluorescent lights on the sign welcome me back wit
I wait until the middle of the night to leave. I know he deserves better, but I don't trust myself to actually walk away if I have to do it face-to-face.Carefully, I pull away from the circle of his arms. His breathing is steady and deep, and he hardly even stirs as I quietly slip out of bed. I gather my few things and quickly dress. I've been debating whether or not to leave him a note, to tell him where I've gone and why. It feels less cowardly, somehow, to write him a message, even if I'm still sneaking away while he's asleep.I pause next to the bed, looking down at him. He looks so big and strong, even when he's asleep, but there's a slight softness about him, too. It's that softness that makes my heart ache now.Against my better judgment, I lean down over him, brushing my lips softly against his brow."Goodbye," I whisper.Then I sneak quietly out the bedroom door.I make it about ten paces before I first have to fight the urge to turn back. But I place my hand on my bell
I stumble into one of the downstairs bathrooms, my stomach heaving. But when I bend over the toilet, nothing comes up.It actually explains a lot, the drugs. It explains why Rafe has been so secretive about who he is outside of the time he spends with me. And why he got so upset that I'd researched him online - maybe one of his arrests was drug related, or maybe his habit was openly discussed in the tabloids. Why didn't Cynthia warn me about that? Why didn't Ashlyn?It also may explain the mysterious man who keeps showing up where Rafe is. What if he's Rafe's dealer? He certainly looked the part. Or worse - what if Rafe is his dealer? Maybe acting and modeling isn't wild or dangerous enough for Rafe and he started a little side business just to entertain himself.I understand now why he's been so closed-mouthed about all of this. He knew it would be a deal-breaker, that I'd never agree to raise my baby around someone actively involved with drugs.I'm so sorry, sweet one, I think. I
This is dangerous. I need to take care of myself - need to guard myself against him somehow. But how? He can completely undo me with a single touch.When we reach Rafe's house, I'm still a little light-headed. Hot and heavy sex will do that to you. As I try to clear the brain fog, Rafe puts a warm, steady hand on my waist."I'm going to go hop in the shower," he says. "Care to join me?"It will be more than a shower, I know."I'm going to go grab a glass of water first," I say. "I'll join you in a minute."He dips his head and bites me right where my neck meets my shoulder. I gasp in pleasure, and he releases me with a devilish grin on his face. He wants to make sure I'm still aching for him before he walks away.It's on wobbly legs that I make my way to the kitchen. I grab a glass of water and fill it at the faucet, wondering why I can't seem to escape this complicated mess. As I wait for my glass to fill, I look down at my belly. I spread my fingers and press my hand against it