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Chapter 23: Those Feelings Are Natural
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The Fontaines of Hollywood series: The Lies Between the Lines Chapter 24: Alone Time Means Trouble
I don't sleep much. When I wake, there's still a heavy lump in my throat, though I don't know whether it's from guilt or nerves or some other emotion. Some days I'm not sure I can even identify real emotions anymore.When I check my phone, there are text messages from my mom and Sara. I rub my eyes as I skim through them. Most of them are about the wedding. Something tells me I'm not going to be able to put off their questions about whether or not Luca will be attending much longer.Javy hasn't contacted me yet, but I try not to read too much into that.For now, I need to get dressed and get some breakfast. And about three cups of coffee. I roll out of bed and make my way down the hall to my old bedroom.The workers are gone, but some of their equipment is still here. Judging by the state of the floor, it looks like they decided to tear up some of the tiles. Guilt surges through me. Shit. The damage must have been worse than I realized.I'm still a little confused about what happe
The Fontaines of Hollywood series: The Lies Between the Lines Chapter 25: Watching Myself
Don't do it, I warn myself. You'll only get yourself more worked up. But I can't help myself. I need to know, once and for all.I grab the camera and turn it on. I pull up the video on the digital screen on the back, take a deep breath, and play it.My heart thuds in my throat as the recording begins. But the light in the room was fairly dim at the time, and the screen on the camera is too small for me to see much besides Luca and me rolling around on the ground.I need a bigger screen. Right now.Tucking the camera under my arm, I return to the rec room and the large television. Frantically, I search for a cable or some other way to connect the camera, but all I see are a few carefully hidden wires going back into the wall behind the screen.I run back around the corner into the movie vault. Sure enough, I find a cubby in the wall housing the Blu-Ray player, cable box, and other assorted television attachments - including a cable that hooks right into the camera. I connect it, sw
The Fontaines of Hollywood series: The Lies Between the Lines Chapter 26: Caught
I'm pretty sure I scream as I jump up off the couch. Somehow Luca walked into the room without me noticing.And I'm sitting here watching...oh, God.I probably break a world record sprinting to the movie closet. Behind me, I can hear the heavy breathing and moaning of the two of us up on the television, but I don't dare pause to watch for my orgasm. I have to get this video off. Now.I yank the cable out of the camera. In the other room, I hear the screen go dead, separated from its racy video feed. I stand there with the cable clenched in my fist, panting as the panic rises in my chest.How could I be such an idiot? Why didn't I go somewhere private to watch the damn video? It's been hours since Luca left - I should have known he'd come home at any time.I squeeze my eyes shut and try to calm myself. But my dad's mindfulness exercises aren't doing me much good right now.In the other room, I hear Luca laugh."Emilia?" he calls. "Is everything okay in there?"Like hell it is. H
The Fontaines of Hollywood series: The Lies Between the Lines Chapter 27: The Party
I still have no idea how Luca does this to me, how he brings out an angry side that I didn't know I had.My mood bounces all over the place as I get ready for the party. A cold shower helps, but only a little. One moment I feel ashamed and embarrassed, the next I'm back to being pissed - pissed at myself and at Luca. Everything is a joke to him. Sometimes I wonder if he has real feelings, or if he's gotten so good at the fake ones that he's forgotten what the genuine ones are like.An image of him hunched over next to the pool floats to the front of my mind. He seemed to be feeling something genuine enough then. But if he's not going to show any real emotions around other people - around me - how am I supposed to respond?I do some of Dad's breathing exercises as I pull on my dress. I need to calm myself down before the party. There are going to be a lot of important industry people there tonight, and Luca and I need to present a united front, even if I'm still reeling on the inside
The Fontaines of Hollywood series: The Lies Between the Lines Chapter 28: A Little Chat With Rafe
It's moments like this that remind me of just how screwed up this arrangement with Luca is. Luca and I might stand here with our hands all over each other, but in reality we're almost strangers - we know so little about each other."I might go grab myself a drink," I tell Luca. "Would you like anything?""I'll grab us drinks, love," he says. "I wouldn't be a gentleman if - ""Nonsense. You and your brother are talking. I'll be right back." I stand up on my toes and kiss him on the cheek. Then I turn to Dante and Ashlyn. "Would either of you like anything?"They both decline, and then I finally have the chance to slip away through the crowd.There are waiters walking through the room with trays of champagne, but there's also a bar in the far corner. I head there. I order a dirty martini for Luca - his usual drink when we're out together - and a seltzer water with lime for myself. Part of me longs to have something alcoholic, just to get me through this party, but I've already had m
The Fontaines of Hollywood series: The Lies Between the Lines Chapter 29: Jealousy
Luca doesn't wait for me to respond. I don't even have time to grab my drink before he's pulling me away from the bar. His arm slides more fully around my waist, holding me against his side as we go back across the room away from the bar - and his brother Rafe."What was that about?" I demand."You tell me. What were you and Rafe talking about before I got there?""Just random stuff, nothing important. I was telling him about the bathroom.""It looked like a lot more than that.""Well, it wasn't. We were just talking.""He was leaning awfully close to you for just talking."I nearly stop in my tracks. "What exactly are you implying here? We were just talking.""But to everyone else here, it looked like a hell of a lot more. Good God, Emilia, he was flirting with you - ""Making toilet jokes is not flirting."Confusion flickers across Luca's face, but he keeps going. "And you were flirting right back - ""I wasn't flirting. I was talking.""You were giggling. And leaning int
The Fontaines of Hollywood series: The Lies Between the Lines Chapter 30: Luca Finds Out
If I thought I could forget about what happened last week during our practice session, I was wrong. The memory of it is burned into my skin, into every inch of my body. My reaction to him now is instant and strong - and almost overwhelming in its intensity.One of his hands spreads against my back, holding me tight against him. The other tangles in my hair, gripping the strands so tightly it hurts. But I don't care. I like the pain.The force of his kiss pushes me back. He backs me up against the railing of the terrace, but I'm not worried about falling over, not as long as he's holding me like this. In fact, I can hardly think of anything but the taste of him, the heat of him, the hard urgency of his mouth against mine. I want to drown in this feeling.And then, just when I begin to fear I might actually lose myself completely in the sensations rushing through me, he pulls back, his mouth releasing mine.I can only stare at him, dazed, as he pulls me away from the edge of the terr
The Fontaines of Hollywood series: The Lies Between the Lines Chapter 31: Revelations
The next few minutes happen as if in slow motion.One second Luca is standing next to his older brother, his fist raised. The next his arm is soaring through the air, and before I can even move, his fist is colliding with Dante's face. Dante isn't prepared for the strike, and the blow knocks him over backward.It takes a second for the people around them to notice. But one by one, they all turn. The happy party smiles shift into expressions of shock and surprise. A couple of people cry out.All this before I find the ability to move. Ashlyn is frozen, too.We both snap into action at the same time, nearly tripping over each other - and over the poor waiter picking up the broken glass - in our effort to get to the door. We squeeze past each other to get inside, and we push through the crowd almost as one.By the time we reach the men, Rafe is already there, pulling Luca off of their brother.Luca looks nothing like himself. His golden hair falls in disheveled strands across his fa
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The Fontaines of Hollywood series: The Lies Between the Lines Chapter 53: Once And For All
A short while later, Luca and I are sitting on the edge of the back porch, sipping coffee and listening to the sounds of the world waking up around us. It's still only about seven in the morning, but it feels like we've been awake forever. Still, it's nice to have a moment of quiet, just to ourselves."So," I say casually, "that's my family."He laughs, and for a second I'm lost in the sound. Lost in him."They're a little crazy, I know." I smile down at my coffee cup. "But we're there for each other.""I know a thing or two about that," he says, grinning at me. "Also a thing or two about delinquent younger brothers. We can't let Javy anywhere near Rafe - I bet those two would get into all sorts of trouble together.""What about me?" I ask. "Am I allowed near Rafe now? Since we've properly established that I don't have any interest in him?"He gives me a teasing look. "I'll consider it. But just to be clear, it's not you I don't trust - it's him.""Fair enough.""Actually, spea
The Fontaines of Hollywood series: The Lies Between the Lines Chapter 52: Not So Alone
My little brother freezes on the steps. He drops his hand from his eyes, shock flashing across his face. It's followed quickly by panic.And I, meanwhile, suddenly find myself fighting down anger. I've spent the last couple of weeks worried sick about him, trying to help him but getting only vague explanations and unanswered calls in return."Would you like to tell everyone why I'm here, Javy?" I say.My parents both turn toward him, their faces wrinkled in confusion. My mother places her hand on my arm. "What are you talking about, honey?"Part of me wonders if I should try to respect my brother's wishes and address this in private, but I suspect that's out of the question now. There's no way my mom will let us get away with that."Javy's been calling me these past few weeks, claiming he's in trouble," I say. "But he won't tell me why.""Trouble?" My dad's frown deepens. "What's going on?""Look," Javy says, throwing up his hands. "This is all getting blown out of proportion."
The Fontaines of Hollywood series: The Lies Between the Lines Chapter 51: Coming Home
It's sticky in Atlanta, even for six o'clock in the morning.I'm not tired, even though Luca and I were up the entire plane ride exploring each other in new and intoxicating ways. That seven-hour nap I took in Luca's trailer yesterday probably helped, but I suspect it's mostly adrenaline carrying me along."Your brother still lives with your parents?" Luca asks me during the cab ride to their house. He laces his fingers through mine, and I'm grateful for the comforting touch."He just graduated from college this year," I say. "He's at home for now, but I suspect he's getting antsy to leave the nest. In all honesty, though, I don't think my parents are ready for him to go. With Sara in New York and me in L.A., I think they like having him around." I squeeze his hand. "I still can't figure out what sort of trouble he's managed to get himself into. My parents don't seem to have any idea..."Luca leans closer to me. "Whatever it is, just remember that you're not alone. We'll figure it
The Fontaines of Hollywood series: The Lies Between the Lines Chapter 50: More Than An Obsession
"Look at me," Luca says.He reaches out with his free hand and cups my chin, raising my eyes to his again. "Look me in the eyes and tell me what you see."I almost don't want to, it scares me so much. In his eyes I see a wild storm - and a promise that makes my toes curl. I try to look away again, but he won't let me."What's wrong?" he asks. "Tell me, Emilia.""It's nothing," I say, then decide to start over. "It's hard to explain. Sometimes I feel like you and I are complete strangers, like we hardly know each other at all, and other times..." I swallow. "Other times I feel like you know me in ways that no one else can. That no one else ever will.""And that scares you?"My assessment must be right - obviously he knows me well if he can read me so easily. I nod."Frankly, it scares me, too," he says. "Terrifies me, actually." He laughs then, and the bright sound is almost jarring. "Emilia, I've spent most of my life avoiding these kinds of emotions. Lust, I can handle. Obsessi
The Fontaines of Hollywood series: The Lies Between the Lines Chapter 49: So Long Lying
I make it all the way outside the airport without anyone stopping me.And, unfortunately, without realizing I've probably just ruined whatever chance I had of getting to Atlanta tonight.There's no way I'm going back to that gate. I can't. I can try to get another flight on another airline, but judging by my luck the first time around, the chances of that happening are pretty slim.What the fuck is wrong with me? Luca just declared his love for me in front of a ton of people and cell phone cameras and I ran.I slump down onto a bench, burying my face in my hands. He didn't just pour out his feelings - he told everyone the truth about our relationship. He undid two years' worth of lies in a single moment, and I feel as if I've been laid bare in front of the whole world. My perfectly crafted public persona is gone, just like that.The back of my neck prickles. He's found me, I can feel it.He sits down on the bench next to me, but not close enough to touch. And he doesn't say a wor
The Fontaines of Hollywood series: The Lies Between the Lines Chapter 48: "You Think This Is Pretend?"
"Emilia," Luca says, "I've been calling you all night."I glance around. My fellow passengers - who'd all seemed happy enough to ignore the girl on the floor with the giant cheeseburger - are starting to notice that the one and only Luca Fontaine is standing in front of them. A couple of them pull out their cell phones as I scramble to my feet."I have to go to Atlanta," I tell him. "I have to figure out what's going on with Javy."He's still frowning. "You should have told me you were going.""You should have told me you were going when you left me alone in your trailer." It's such a stupid, petty thing to bring up now, but my only defense is deflection.Luca's gaze burns into me. He's not about to let me turn this back around on him."Why didn't you tell me?" he demands.I want to run, but his eyes pin me in place. "I thought you might try to stop me. And anyway, this doesn't concern you. He's my brother, which means it's on me to fix this.""What do you mean this doesn't con
The Fontaines of Hollywood series: The Lies Between the Lines Chapter 47: The Airport
LAX is a madhouse, as usual.I go from ticket counter to ticket counter, asking for the first open flight to Atlanta. Normally I have people who do this sort of thing for me, but I don't want to have to explain why I'm ditching my job to go fly across the country. Most of the flights are full until late tomorrow, but I finally manage to score a standby ticket for one leaving three hours from now. It's not ideal, but it's the best I can do on such short notice - even being a celebrity doesn't give me much power against the stupid airlines.A little voice in my head warns me that I'm being rash, that I should think about the consequences this sudden disappearing act might have on my career, but I force those thoughts back down. Nothing will stop me from going home.You should have at least left a note for Luca, I think. I tell myself I'll shoot him a text or something when I get to my gate, even though I know I won't.I keep my head down as I make my way through security. If I'd stop
The Fontaines of Hollywood series: The Lies Between the Lines Chapter 46: I Can't Talk Myself Out Of It Anymore
I feel like someone has gutted me. I love Luca. The realization makes me want to throw up. It's one thing to be attracted to his perfect body, but it's another to actually fall for him. I don't even know him, not really. I can't be in love with him. I can't.I can't.I can't.I can't.I can already see how this ends - with me getting my heart broken. But there's no rationalizing this away - I've already tried that and it didn't work. No, I'm just fucked. He's going to hurt me, and then I'll be alone and devastated and there will be no one to pick up the pieces.I try to fight back the tears. By the time I get back to the house, my entire head throbs with the effort. Relief rushes through me when I see that Luca isn't home yet. I don't think I can face him right now. I throw his keys down on the kitchen counter and run upstairs, locking myself in my room.I plug my phone in to charge and then stumble into the bathroom to shower. I need to get the smell of him off me. I need to w
The Fontaines of Hollywood series: The Lies Between the Lines Chapter 45: After
I wake alone.It takes a moment for me to remember where I am. I can tell I'm in a strange bed and that I'm missing the warm body of someone next to me, but it takes my sleepy brain a few tries to connect all the dots. Suddenly, it all comes rushing back.I slept with Luca.I roll over, my arm sliding across his half of the bed, but it's cold. He's been gone for a while. My heart sinks.Don't act so surprised, Em. You knew this would happen.Clutching the sheets to my chest, I sit up and look around. It's completely dark. There's no light coming in through the blinds. I slide to the edge of the bed and feel around on the floor for my clothes. I wish I had something besides the torn, "apocalypse dust"-ed bits of my costume, but they'll have to do for now. I pull them on and then reach around in the dark until I find the light switch.I didn't have a chance to look around Luca's trailer before we tumbled into bed together, and I have to admit I'm quite impressed by what I see - it'
