68| Scotch (Matthew)

My heart was cracking again. The wall that I had put up had finally come down, I had shown the vulnerable side of me to her and there was no going back.

She was furious that I had forced Kay out of my way to get to her, and in retrospect, it probably wasn’t the best thing to do, but I was still fuming and I needed to see her – I wasn’t going to put up with some nagging remarks from her roommate.

I know I crossed a line with the comment about her father and making it sound like he was nothing. If anyone said anything like that to me, I probably would have been hurt by it too, but I didn’t realize that I was talking down to her – I was just trying to make my point, but my mind went to the cruelest place to do that.

The thought of losing her was unbearable. It was physical pain, knowing that I had hurt her and seeing the look on her face, seeing her cry, and knowing that it’s because of me, it was a pain that I had never felt before, and I wanted to do something