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Chapter 8 - Shea
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2021-06-01 12:59:45I sit alone, quietly, in the car waiting for Luke to come back out from the house. I did exactly as he said and locked the doors as soon as his back was turned. When I'm alone I have time to process the events of the evening thus far. I feel so small sitting in the old Taurus alone. My eyes sting and my face hurts after crying so hard. I can feel fatigue setting into my body, and I lean my head back closing my eyes.
I don't know how long I sit in the car alone, the silence feels like it stretches out forever. I keep replaying Jacob's words in my head.
"My brother has told me some wild stories about your younger days."
I felt the numbness creeping in, my chest w
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The Echo of Abuse and Love Chapter 9 - Luke
Shea took my hand when I offered it to help her out of the car, and she didn't pull away from me when I kept ahold of her as we headed into my Aunt's old diner. When Eva and I were children, my other used to bring us here all of the time. Any time we went shopping at the big outlet malls or took a day trip to the zoo we always swing by her sister's diner on the way home.When my mom died three years ago, Ev and I still made it a habit to come out here as much as we could. As soon as we got our licenses almost every weekend we would come to have Sunday lunch with Aunt Rosie. Her diner felt like an extension of home, but almost always left me feeling a little sad. Right after mom died, and Eva and I would come, I could almost imagine hearing my mother sitting at the bar, gossiping with Aunt Rosie about family drama or the people that
Last Updated : 2021-06-02The Echo of Abuse and Love Chapter 10 - Shea
"Taste of life?" I ask?"Yes, a little of everything. Sometimes the weirdest combinations make the best flavors. You need a little of everything to experience life at its best. You can't just expect to have the good stuff all of the time, sometimes you need the lows and the hard and the pain to appreciate the smoothness of the good things."My stomach clenches with a swirl of emotions that I don't dare sort through right now. I take another drink, savoring the flavors as they hit my tongue, each one completely different but together, completely satisfying.I think Rosie says something to us, but I am too caught up in the swirl of thoughts and emotions that I don't think I qui
Last Updated : 2021-06-03The Echo of Abuse and Love Chapter 11 - Luke
"I think that's cool." She says quietly. "Okay, your turn."I don't know why, but tonight my normal inhibitions seem to have flown out the window. I wouldn't consider myself aloof or anything, but I don't normally spend my time playing 20 questions in a car with a pretty girl. It just has never been on my list of exciting things.But something about Shea makes me want to know everything about her. I've been trying to keep to myself for the last few months, denying any type of attraction or interest, but after almost 2 hours completely alone with her, I feel as though my hold on my control is slipping. I'm aware of my extremely poor timing, and I regret the way we got to this point. I wish more than anything I would have been there a moment earlier to spa
Last Updated : 2021-06-04The Echo of Abuse and Love Chapter 12 - Shea (before)
Tyler: Wat r u doing tonight?Shea: Probably studying... u?Tyler: There's a party on Campus, wanna go w me?Shea: It's a Thursday....Tyler: I'll pick you up @8... Be ready ;)It's been just over a week since I met Tyler at the party, before I left he put his number in my phone and has texted me almost every day sin
Last Updated : 2021-06-15The Echo of Abuse and Love Chapter 13 - Luke
“Luke…”I roll to my back, trying to open my eyes through the sleepiness holding down my eyelids.“Hey, are you awake?”The voice sounds familiar, but I can’t quite place it.“Luke.”Shea.I sit up in bed, suddenly very awake, and very aware of the fact that I am shirtless and Shea is sitting on the edge of my bed.“Are you okay? What's wrong?” Shit, she looks so incredible. Her dark hair falls down her back in a mess of waves, and her torso is barely covered by one of my sister's tank tops. The bare skin of her shoulders and chest see
Last Updated : 2021-06-30The Echo of Abuse and Love Chapter 14 - Shea
I woke in his bed. The sun is just starting to peak through the window of his bedroom casting a soft pink light. Luke is laying on his back, one arm behind his head, and the other is under mine. I realize I'm tucked into his tightly, his hand firmly across my hip, anchoring me in place. His face is soft and his breath is slow and deep. I don't want to move, for fear of disturbing him. I allow myself to lay next to him as memories of the night before flood my mind.I dont know what came over me. I woke last night with a horrible feeling crushing my chest. I really didn't remember what the dream was about but I felt sick and sweaty. On instinct I had woken Luke up. And once I was in his bed everything else faded away. I knew it was silly and irrational, and I knew the only reason I was probably having these feelings was because of last night; I just couldn't help it. His eyes looked so open, and the way he looked at me had my stomach in tense knots. I wanted to know a
Last Updated : 2021-07-01The Echo of Abuse and Love Chapter 15 - Shea (before)
The music is loud and I feel it inside of my body. After we made a lap around the house talking to people that Tyler knew, it became super on that I was the youngest person at the party. Anxiety welled inside of me as I tried to keep up in conversation. But after 2 more shots Tler dragged me out to the dance floor. The beat was wild and exciting, and he kept me close to his body, moving himself and pressing or pulling me until I got the hang of what he wanted. There were lots of other people around us, each moving with another partner or in a group. The longer we danced the more my inhibitions fell. Tyler kept one hand always pressed into the small of my back to bring me closer to him. At one point he picked me up around the waist and spun us around. I threw my head back and laughed, wrapping my arms around his neck to keep from falling over. When he set me back down I left my arms where they were and he took my hips in his strong hands. We fit together well, and I liked the way he
Last Updated : 2021-07-02The Echo of Abuse and Love Chapter 16 - Luke
The rest of the weekend, and the following week dragged. Saturday I made up some lame excuse to get out of going to see Tiffany. I knew she didn't buy it, but I didn't really care. It's not like I could make her much angrier at me. We weren't dating so I didn't see why she was so pissed in the first place. I mean I get it— I left with another girl and she feels put out, but after checking social media it was pretty obvious I didn't dampen her mood too much. Monday at school I discovered very quickly that Shea was avoiding me. It took me until lunchtime to even catch a glimpse of her. We never got to talk Saturday morning about what happened and I was hoping I could convince her to get coffee with me at some point this week to talk. swim practice was hell, and I stared daggers at Jake any time he was around. Everything was off.So when I got invited to another party Friday night I declined. I didn't really care for them anyway. But specifically this week I woul
Last Updated : 2021-07-05
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We get dressed, heading back down to where my sister and her girlfriend are giggling in the kitchen together. They fall silent as soon as we enter the kitchen and I can feel Shea trying not to shrink next to me. "Are you guys good?" Eva gives me a pointed look, and I'm pretty sure if either of us were to answer anyway, but yes, she would castrate me. "We're good." Shea answers for us. "Good." Eva breaks into a huge smile. "Shea, when were you going to tell me you were doing the horizontal tango with my brother?" I chance a look at Shea out of the corner of my eye as I wander to the fridge and open it. I'm not hungry, but I need something to do with my hands. Somehow, I feel like I'm not supposed to be here for this conversation. My sister smiles while Shea stares open-mouthed, and I busy myself moving the apples around in the plastic container in the fridge. Eva giggled as Shea fished for words. "It's not–" Shea starts. "Dude, I'm so happy for you! I know you both have been cru
The Echo of Abuse and Love Chapter 32 - Shea (TW)
I close my eyes and rest against Luke's body. My muscles feel like lead and I can barely roll over without my stomach muscles shaking a little. Part of me is mortified for the way I acted just now-brazen and lust-addled. I want to apologize for yanking his hair the way I did; I'm afraid if I apologize out loud, it will ruin the moment. "Are you sure you're okay?" Luke kisses my forehead, and when I look up at him, his eyes are a dark, swirling storm. "Did I do something wrong?"I shake my head, unsure of what to say. "No. No, you didn't. I guess my brain is just a bit fuzzy right now."He smirks down at me, "I think that probably means I did all of it right."I feel a flush creep up my neck and across my face. He definitely did something right. Luke scoots closer, pulling my naked body flush against his bare chest. He kisses me for a long time. It's slow and careful. At some point, though, I feel the hard length of him pressing against my stomach and I realize he did something for me
The Echo of Abuse and Love Chapter 31 - Luke
Shea's lips are soft and warm, and even a simple kiss has my heart hammering relentlessly against my ribs. Her cheeks and chin are damp with tears and I kiss them away, brushing my lips against each cheek before working my way across her jaw and down her neck. Her breathing changes, becoming shallow gasps that brush across my shoulder. I savor the feel of her under my fingertips, dragging her against me even tighter. Maybe it's bad form, but if I can distract her for a few minutes... take away even a fraction of the pain that I can see buried in her eyes... "Luke..." My name from her lips sounds like music, like soft fingertips down my spine, like honey and whiskey, sweetly burning through my veins. "I'll stop if you want." She's quiet and then wraps her arms around my neck. "No," she whispers. "Don't." That's all I need. I plant my mouth on hers, urging her lips apart with my tongue as I walk her backward toward my bed. She sits when her knees hit the mattress, then she's scootin
The Echo of Abuse and Love Chapter 30 - Shea
I stare in silent horror at the crumpled photos before me. They are printed on regular 8 x 11 printer paper which just adds to the terrible quality of the photos. But the images are clear enough to see my face as well as the people around me.I lift a photo in a shaky hand. It's a girl between two boys. Something in my brain registers that it is me, but I'm not so sure I see it. The girl looks small and like she's made of glass, Her skin is pale and the hollow fear in her eyes breaks something inside of me that I didn't think could be broken further."Shea?" Luke's voice is like a distant echo, bouncing and reverberating around my head. His hand comes to rest on my shoulder, and it's enough of a shock that I tear my eyes away from the picture to find his face. I can feel myself retreating, something inside of my dissolving into nothingness.I close my eyes, counting my breaths as Luke rubs my back softly making each of the scars tingle on my ba
The Echo of Abuse and Love Chapter 29 - Shea (before)
I stare blankly at the peeling scabs on my back in the mirror of the bathroom. It's been 3 weeks, and most of my back has healed, and the bruises disappeared a long time ago. I still feel numb. I know that the boys got in a lot of trouble for the broken window, but thankfully my name never came up in the conversation. I don't think anyone but Tyler and Jacob even knew who I was.I feel a lot like prey walking through the school hallways. I've heard the whispered rumors that keep getting crazier and crazier. Someone said a dude got stabbed and the attacker was who jumped out the window. Another said it was a kid who was trying to end their life. But nothing close to the truth has come out. I turn the shower water on and wait for it to heat up, slowly watching the mirror fog.I step into the hot water face first. My back still aches when anything touches it so I"m always slow to get in. I close my eyes, leaning my head into the spray, rubbing my face viciously with
The Echo of Abuse and Love Chapter 28 - Luke
Luckily, I escaped suspension with Jacob, but we both earned detention. The school knows they can't suspend us, we are two of the best swimmers on the team. If they suspend us, we will be suspended from the next meet as well. And the school can't afford that. I have never cared about being an athlete until today. Today, I am so thankful that I can pull enough weight to not get in so much trouble. Jacob is pissed. I didn't break his nose, sadly, but I did manage to bloody it and his lip. There is a sick sort of satisfaction that comes with seeing him at least a little down and out from getting in trouble. He insisted he has no idea why I punched him, but I don't believe that for a second. However, I can't say anything without incriminating Shea and Tiffany and bringing those horrid pictures to light. So I keep my mouth shut too. I end up ditching the last 2 periods of school. Detention is scheduled for tomorrow and by the afternoon I'm tired of getting whispered about and stared at.
The Echo of Abuse and Love Chapter 27 - Shea
Eva is waiting for me outside of my first-period class, her face is a mix of fear, anger, and confusion, and I feel completely unsettled all at once. "What up?" I ask as soon as I see her. "Luke and Jacob got into it this morning or something. Luke completely lost it and PUNCHED HIM!" "What?" It's not that I can't hear her, it's just the shock has me reeling. "Luke laid Jacob out. Like broke his nose and everything." She sounds a little giddy when she says it, but I can barely hear her over the blood rushing to my head. I feel like I'm going to pass out. I lean back against the wall. A sinking feeling in my gut tells me that I know exactly why they were fighting. The skin on my back feels tight and itchy, just like it did when the scabs were still new. "Eva. I have some things I desperately need to tell you." "Shea, you look pale, what is it?" "Not here," I shake my head and regret it, the lighth
The Echo of Abuse and Love Chapter 26 - Luke
Monday morning I'm sitting in the kitchen waiting for the coffee to brew when Eva walks in. She's dressed in a pair of skinny light-wash jeans and a light-wash jean jacket that matches. It kind of reminds me of a jumpsuit. She gives me a completely non-committal smile and heads to the fridge, grabbing a bowl of fruit salad. I'm still preoccupied with what happened Saturday with Shea. When she came out of the bathroom she looked as though she'd seen a ghost. Her face had the same hollowness that plagued her at the party a few weeks ago, and I didn't know what to do. She didn't stay too long after that, making some excuse to go home. I didn't stop her, even though I probably should have. But something about my question rattled something in her, so I think if I want answers, I'm going to have to ask someone else. "Luke?" Eva is standing in front of me, leaning on the counter. There's a concerned and slightly amused look on her face that makes me think she wa
The Echo of Abuse and Love Chapter 25 - Shea
I don't know what came over me, or why I felt compelled to take off my shirt. As much as I think I planned to be disappointed, I'm so glad I wasn't. As Lukes mouth brushes my nipples, heat pools between my legs in a way I was not expecting. I press my body into his, getting lost in his gentle kisses and light caresses.His exploration of me is slow and agonizing. He hisses my shoulders, my throat, and just behind my ear before finally settling on my mouth. I pull my knees up around his hips, the weight of his body feels invigorating and unnerving. His mouth is warm moving against mine, and I can't help but notice the way he shivers when I run my hands lightly down his back.He's still fully clothed and I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. Before when we kissed, he was in a towel, and completely nude underneath.I slide my hands under his shirt, appreciating the toned muscles of his back as his mouth slants over mine and his tongu
