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Chapter 13 - Luke
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2021-06-30 13:25:21“Luke…”
I roll to my back, trying to open my eyes through the sleepiness holding down my eyelids.
“Hey, are you awake?”
The voice sounds familiar, but I can’t quite place it.
“Luke.”
Shea.
I sit up in bed, suddenly very awake, and very aware of the fact that I am shirtless and Shea is sitting on the edge of my bed.
“Are you okay? What's wrong?” Shit, she looks so incredible. Her dark hair falls down her back in a mess of waves, and her torso is barely covered by one of my sister's tank tops. The bare skin of her shoulders and chest see
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I woke in his bed. The sun is just starting to peak through the window of his bedroom casting a soft pink light. Luke is laying on his back, one arm behind his head, and the other is under mine. I realize I'm tucked into his tightly, his hand firmly across my hip, anchoring me in place. His face is soft and his breath is slow and deep. I don't want to move, for fear of disturbing him. I allow myself to lay next to him as memories of the night before flood my mind.I dont know what came over me. I woke last night with a horrible feeling crushing my chest. I really didn't remember what the dream was about but I felt sick and sweaty. On instinct I had woken Luke up. And once I was in his bed everything else faded away. I knew it was silly and irrational, and I knew the only reason I was probably having these feelings was because of last night; I just couldn't help it. His eyes looked so open, and the way he looked at me had my stomach in tense knots. I wanted to know a
Last Updated : 2021-07-01The Echo of Abuse and Love Chapter 15 - Shea (before)
The music is loud and I feel it inside of my body. After we made a lap around the house talking to people that Tyler knew, it became super on that I was the youngest person at the party. Anxiety welled inside of me as I tried to keep up in conversation. But after 2 more shots Tler dragged me out to the dance floor. The beat was wild and exciting, and he kept me close to his body, moving himself and pressing or pulling me until I got the hang of what he wanted. There were lots of other people around us, each moving with another partner or in a group. The longer we danced the more my inhibitions fell. Tyler kept one hand always pressed into the small of my back to bring me closer to him. At one point he picked me up around the waist and spun us around. I threw my head back and laughed, wrapping my arms around his neck to keep from falling over. When he set me back down I left my arms where they were and he took my hips in his strong hands. We fit together well, and I liked the way he
Last Updated : 2021-07-02The Echo of Abuse and Love Chapter 16 - Luke
The rest of the weekend, and the following week dragged. Saturday I made up some lame excuse to get out of going to see Tiffany. I knew she didn't buy it, but I didn't really care. It's not like I could make her much angrier at me. We weren't dating so I didn't see why she was so pissed in the first place. I mean I get it— I left with another girl and she feels put out, but after checking social media it was pretty obvious I didn't dampen her mood too much. Monday at school I discovered very quickly that Shea was avoiding me. It took me until lunchtime to even catch a glimpse of her. We never got to talk Saturday morning about what happened and I was hoping I could convince her to get coffee with me at some point this week to talk. swim practice was hell, and I stared daggers at Jake any time he was around. Everything was off.So when I got invited to another party Friday night I declined. I didn't really care for them anyway. But specifically this week I woul
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(Potential TW for disordered eating) I planned to stay home all weekend. I knew I'd been avoiding Luke, and in a way Eva too. But she didn't say anything about it. Tiffany was staring daggers at me in the halls and I could see her whispering to her friends any time I walked by.So I just kept my head down. I definitely didn't need this kind of attention. Since freshman year I had done my best to stay out of everyone's line of sight. I knew what they said about me. I knew the lies Tyler and his friends had spread around.When I walked into my house Friday though, I was greeted by silence. My mom worked at a bar downtown on the weekends, and my dad hated it. But she loved it there. As long as I could remember my mom had worked there. She said she stayed for the customers, and that if she quit now the place would close down. That left weekends to me and my dad."Dad?" I called out, walking into the kitchen. &nb
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The car ride was stifling. Tyler barely said anything to me the whole drive back to my house."I'm sorry." I said again, when we were pulling into my neighborhood."Shea." He said with an irritated sigh. "It's fine. Apparently our signals were a little crossed.""But they're not." I argued. It felt like he was slipping away from me, and that was causing me to panic a bit."I think so though. I mean... obviously I like you a little more than you like me.""That's not true." I could feel my voice raise slightly because I liked him a lot. He was beautiful, and so many people liked him, and he was choosing to hang with me. Maybe I really was a bore."Well, what am I supposed to think? You freaked out as soon as I tried to touch you. That doesn't exactly put me in the headspace to think you're into me."I was reeling a little. I felt slapped that just because I was a bit squeamish about sex he questioned whether or not I li
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I felt the change a split second before Shea stopped me. I don't know what came over me to begin with. I knew it was a bad idea to answer the door in a towel. I knew it was Shea. But part of me wanted to know what she was going to do. I wanted to know how she would react. I was tired of being ignored all week. I wanted to touch her. And when she touched me, it was like I blacked out for a second.Her mouth was sweet. She responded to my touch with all of the passion I felt bubbling up inside myself. And when she wrapped her arms around my waist I thought my brain might explode. My dick ached pressed into her, and I was fantasizing about how it would feel pressed inside of her when I felt her whole body stiffen.I knew it was too much too fast, but when she started to shake I wanted to kick myself. I'd seen the way Jacob's advances had shaken her. I should have been more careful.I held her. Letting us both catch our breath. I watched her
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The right side of my body tingled with hypersensitivity to the heat radiating off of Luke sitting next to me. I can scarcely pay attention to the movie with him so close. That kiss earlier had rocketed me to new places, and it scared me just as much as it thrilled me. Some part of me couldn't believe that I had let him get as close as he did. It shocked me that my body was just as willing as my brain was to let him close.Another part of me loathed the memories that stirred up inside of me and I hated that I stopped him. I wanted so desperately to see what his hot mouth felt like all over my body. But I had so many secrets buried so deeply. I don't think they'd let me get much closer without threatening to topple my self-preservation. But part of me wanted to know if Luke would be worth the ruin. But could I risk ruining his reputation as well? I know we needed to talk. But I didn't trust myself to be alone with him—which is why I wanted so desperately t
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When I got to school the next morning Tyler was waiting by my locker with a huge smile on his face. I tried to keep my own excitement at bay as he folded me into a hug in front of everyone around us. I knew all of the girls in my grade stared open-mouthed as I embraced him back."I wanted to apologize for last night." He whispered into my hair.Goosebumps broke out on my arms and neck at his words. "It's fine." I swallowed the lump in my throat.He pulled back from me, his usual cocky smile spread across his face. "Want to hang out again this weekend? I'm thinking of throwing a little party at my house. My parents are out of town.""That sounds fun, I'll see if I can come!"He smiles again at me and brushes my dark hair back from my face. He doesn't say anything else as he casually leans back against the lockers, shoving his hands into his pockets. I peer at him through the corning of my eye as I get my books out of my locker and
Last Updated : 2021-10-04
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The Echo of Abuse and Love Luke
We get dressed, heading back down to where my sister and her girlfriend are giggling in the kitchen together. They fall silent as soon as we enter the kitchen and I can feel Shea trying not to shrink next to me. "Are you guys good?" Eva gives me a pointed look, and I'm pretty sure if either of us were to answer anyway, but yes, she would castrate me. "We're good." Shea answers for us. "Good." Eva breaks into a huge smile. "Shea, when were you going to tell me you were doing the horizontal tango with my brother?" I chance a look at Shea out of the corner of my eye as I wander to the fridge and open it. I'm not hungry, but I need something to do with my hands. Somehow, I feel like I'm not supposed to be here for this conversation. My sister smiles while Shea stares open-mouthed, and I busy myself moving the apples around in the plastic container in the fridge. Eva giggled as Shea fished for words. "It's not–" Shea starts. "Dude, I'm so happy for you! I know you both have been cru
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I close my eyes and rest against Luke's body. My muscles feel like lead and I can barely roll over without my stomach muscles shaking a little. Part of me is mortified for the way I acted just now-brazen and lust-addled. I want to apologize for yanking his hair the way I did; I'm afraid if I apologize out loud, it will ruin the moment. "Are you sure you're okay?" Luke kisses my forehead, and when I look up at him, his eyes are a dark, swirling storm. "Did I do something wrong?"I shake my head, unsure of what to say. "No. No, you didn't. I guess my brain is just a bit fuzzy right now."He smirks down at me, "I think that probably means I did all of it right."I feel a flush creep up my neck and across my face. He definitely did something right. Luke scoots closer, pulling my naked body flush against his bare chest. He kisses me for a long time. It's slow and careful. At some point, though, I feel the hard length of him pressing against my stomach and I realize he did something for me
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Shea's lips are soft and warm, and even a simple kiss has my heart hammering relentlessly against my ribs. Her cheeks and chin are damp with tears and I kiss them away, brushing my lips against each cheek before working my way across her jaw and down her neck. Her breathing changes, becoming shallow gasps that brush across my shoulder. I savor the feel of her under my fingertips, dragging her against me even tighter. Maybe it's bad form, but if I can distract her for a few minutes... take away even a fraction of the pain that I can see buried in her eyes... "Luke..." My name from her lips sounds like music, like soft fingertips down my spine, like honey and whiskey, sweetly burning through my veins. "I'll stop if you want." She's quiet and then wraps her arms around my neck. "No," she whispers. "Don't." That's all I need. I plant my mouth on hers, urging her lips apart with my tongue as I walk her backward toward my bed. She sits when her knees hit the mattress, then she's scootin
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I stare in silent horror at the crumpled photos before me. They are printed on regular 8 x 11 printer paper which just adds to the terrible quality of the photos. But the images are clear enough to see my face as well as the people around me.I lift a photo in a shaky hand. It's a girl between two boys. Something in my brain registers that it is me, but I'm not so sure I see it. The girl looks small and like she's made of glass, Her skin is pale and the hollow fear in her eyes breaks something inside of me that I didn't think could be broken further."Shea?" Luke's voice is like a distant echo, bouncing and reverberating around my head. His hand comes to rest on my shoulder, and it's enough of a shock that I tear my eyes away from the picture to find his face. I can feel myself retreating, something inside of my dissolving into nothingness.I close my eyes, counting my breaths as Luke rubs my back softly making each of the scars tingle on my ba
The Echo of Abuse and Love Chapter 29 - Shea (before)
I stare blankly at the peeling scabs on my back in the mirror of the bathroom. It's been 3 weeks, and most of my back has healed, and the bruises disappeared a long time ago. I still feel numb. I know that the boys got in a lot of trouble for the broken window, but thankfully my name never came up in the conversation. I don't think anyone but Tyler and Jacob even knew who I was.I feel a lot like prey walking through the school hallways. I've heard the whispered rumors that keep getting crazier and crazier. Someone said a dude got stabbed and the attacker was who jumped out the window. Another said it was a kid who was trying to end their life. But nothing close to the truth has come out. I turn the shower water on and wait for it to heat up, slowly watching the mirror fog.I step into the hot water face first. My back still aches when anything touches it so I"m always slow to get in. I close my eyes, leaning my head into the spray, rubbing my face viciously with
The Echo of Abuse and Love Chapter 28 - Luke
Luckily, I escaped suspension with Jacob, but we both earned detention. The school knows they can't suspend us, we are two of the best swimmers on the team. If they suspend us, we will be suspended from the next meet as well. And the school can't afford that. I have never cared about being an athlete until today. Today, I am so thankful that I can pull enough weight to not get in so much trouble. Jacob is pissed. I didn't break his nose, sadly, but I did manage to bloody it and his lip. There is a sick sort of satisfaction that comes with seeing him at least a little down and out from getting in trouble. He insisted he has no idea why I punched him, but I don't believe that for a second. However, I can't say anything without incriminating Shea and Tiffany and bringing those horrid pictures to light. So I keep my mouth shut too. I end up ditching the last 2 periods of school. Detention is scheduled for tomorrow and by the afternoon I'm tired of getting whispered about and stared at.
The Echo of Abuse and Love Chapter 27 - Shea
Eva is waiting for me outside of my first-period class, her face is a mix of fear, anger, and confusion, and I feel completely unsettled all at once. "What up?" I ask as soon as I see her. "Luke and Jacob got into it this morning or something. Luke completely lost it and PUNCHED HIM!" "What?" It's not that I can't hear her, it's just the shock has me reeling. "Luke laid Jacob out. Like broke his nose and everything." She sounds a little giddy when she says it, but I can barely hear her over the blood rushing to my head. I feel like I'm going to pass out. I lean back against the wall. A sinking feeling in my gut tells me that I know exactly why they were fighting. The skin on my back feels tight and itchy, just like it did when the scabs were still new. "Eva. I have some things I desperately need to tell you." "Shea, you look pale, what is it?" "Not here," I shake my head and regret it, the lighth
The Echo of Abuse and Love Chapter 26 - Luke
Monday morning I'm sitting in the kitchen waiting for the coffee to brew when Eva walks in. She's dressed in a pair of skinny light-wash jeans and a light-wash jean jacket that matches. It kind of reminds me of a jumpsuit. She gives me a completely non-committal smile and heads to the fridge, grabbing a bowl of fruit salad. I'm still preoccupied with what happened Saturday with Shea. When she came out of the bathroom she looked as though she'd seen a ghost. Her face had the same hollowness that plagued her at the party a few weeks ago, and I didn't know what to do. She didn't stay too long after that, making some excuse to go home. I didn't stop her, even though I probably should have. But something about my question rattled something in her, so I think if I want answers, I'm going to have to ask someone else. "Luke?" Eva is standing in front of me, leaning on the counter. There's a concerned and slightly amused look on her face that makes me think she wa
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I don't know what came over me, or why I felt compelled to take off my shirt. As much as I think I planned to be disappointed, I'm so glad I wasn't. As Lukes mouth brushes my nipples, heat pools between my legs in a way I was not expecting. I press my body into his, getting lost in his gentle kisses and light caresses.His exploration of me is slow and agonizing. He hisses my shoulders, my throat, and just behind my ear before finally settling on my mouth. I pull my knees up around his hips, the weight of his body feels invigorating and unnerving. His mouth is warm moving against mine, and I can't help but notice the way he shivers when I run my hands lightly down his back.He's still fully clothed and I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. Before when we kissed, he was in a towel, and completely nude underneath.I slide my hands under his shirt, appreciating the toned muscles of his back as his mouth slants over mine and his tongu
