'Honey'
She called him honey.
She takes striking steps toward us, her heels clicking softly against the pavement, then stands beside Alessandro. The closer she gets, the more I realize she is even more gorgeous up close. She walks like she owns the room, and watching her stand next to him, I don’t think I have ever seen a couple as perfect together as they are.
“Are you okay, sweetheart?” she asks, her voice laced with genuine concern. I am a little surprised that she would ask that. “I hope my husband and his little minion bullies aren’t bothering you,” she adds, and I am taken aback by what she just said. Alessandro is her husband. He is married!
My mind flashes back to the ball, remembering how I flirted with him and how he was clearly flirting back. I feel a pang of embarrassment.
Didn’t the FBI think that was something I ought to know before sending me on a mission to flirt with a married mafia lord? I am starting to think they don’t exactly care about my safety, because if he happens to know who I am, they didn’t just make me an enemy of one of the most ruthless men I have heard of but also his wife.
I nervously clear my throat when I notice she is anxiously waiting for me to respond.
“Yes… I’m fine, thank you,” I manage to say, in a shaky voice. “I was just lost.”
She smiles kindly. “Oh, that’s no problem. We will help you figure out where you are headed. I’m Maria, and this is my husband Alex. Don’t mind his weird glances. Those two minions are Luca and Mateo,” she moves closer to me and whispers, “They are men. They think if they use their deep voices on a woman, she will cower.” She says, and I force a nervous chuckle, then glance at Alessandro, who is still giving me that weird look. I can't look at him any longer because I don’t want to give him any chance of recognizing me.
“And you are?” she asks, and my breath catches in my throat.
“Huh?”
“Your name, darling. You didn’t tell us your name,” she says, and my eyes automatically move to Alessandro, who has raised a curious brow.
“Uhm… Renée,” I try my best not to look at Alessandro.
“Oh, beautiful name indeed. You aren’t from these parts of the country, Renée. I wouldn’t be wrong to think you aren’t even from this country, are you?” she asks, and I shake my head.
“Not really.” I don’t want to think about why she would assume that. It could be that I am among the minority races in the country, or it could be an entirely different reason.
“Yeah, I could tell. The accent.”
Right. Here I thought I was doing my best to have an undetectable accent. I force a smile because this interaction is taking a little longer than it should, and I don’t know how to get out of here without sounding rude or suspicious.
“Quite a unique accent,” Alessandro says, and my heart skips a beat. What if he recognizes my accent? Sure, I did try my best to have a local accent when I was talking to him at the ball, but maybe I slipped.
“Oh honey, don’t harass the poor girl. Your boys already made her uncomfortable as it is,” she tells him, and he scoffs. “You didn’t tell us where you were headed?”
“1520 Willow Street,” I say, and her eyes light up in recognition.
“Elen’s place?” she asks, and I sigh in relief and nod, glad that someone finally knows where I am going and is willing to help. This means her security guys can stop looking at me suspiciously now.
“Yes, I have an appointment with her.”
“You must be the photographer,” she says, and I nod again, glad that she is making this a little easier for me. I didn’t know she knew Eleonora, but I’m kind of glad she does.
“She told you,” I say, and she nods in excitement.
“Of course she did. She’s been rambling on about this boudoir photoshoot she has, and now that I’ve met you in person, I should book an appointment too.”
“Did you say boudoir photoshoot?” The moment Alessandro asks that question, my heart starts racing.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
“It’s a girl’s thing, honey. You and the boys should go inside. I will take her to Elen’s,” Maria tells him, very clueless about why her husband asked that. I look at him, and he has a grin on his lips. He shakes his head in disbelief, and without saying another word, he nods for Luca and Mateo to unlock the gate for him and walks back to his car.
My heart is still beating so fast, and I watch as he drives into the compound with Maria standing next to me. I don’t know why he didn’t say anything else, and I could tell myself that he still doesn’t know I’m the girl who got him apprehended last night—which he is surprisingly already free by the way—but deep down I know that look he gave me. He knows who I am, and if he hasn’t yet, then he is probably figuring it out now. The fact that they all seem to know Eleonora just means that in due time, my cover is about to blow over.
“You have a nice car,” Maria says, and I nervously chuckle.
“Thank you.”
It is not really my car, if I have to say. When I moved in, I was having trouble without a car, and I wanted to buy one, a secondhand one that I could afford, but Dell gave me his car to use since he had one from the bureau and didn’t need two cars. I will still take the compliment because it is a beautiful car, alright.
“Okay, let's go,” she says, walking to the passenger side of the car, and my eyes open wide in shock. There is no way in hell I am going to let her into my car or go with her.
“Uhm… if you could maybe just show me the direction…” I say, and she looks at me and chuckles.
“That is exactly what I’m doing.”
“I could drive there on my own,” I say, and she laughs and shakes her head, then dismisses me with a hand wave.
“Oh, don’t be silly. Open the door for me. I was to meet Elen today, so I might as well get it done with,” she says, and I know no matter what, I am not letting her accompany me. I have already had enough of a close encounter with them, and I am not going to risk it even further.
“I…I don’t think…”
She sighs, giving up, then takes a step back from my car.
“Fine. Follow this route for the next ten miles, you will see a left turn. Follow it for another eight miles or so, and you will see Willow Street. I am sure from there you will be able to see the street numbers,” she says, and I nod gratefully, glad that she isn’t accompanying me anymore.
“I will be waiting to see the work you do with her. If I like it, then trust me, you will have me as your next client.” I nod with a smile of acknowledgment and get back in the car before starting it.
I try to stay as calm as possible as I drive away. I'm trying to understand why someone as beautiful and kind-hearted as Maria would marry someone like Alessandro. I've barely driven a mile before my phone starts buzzing. I check and it’s Dell again. I see that there are a couple of missed calls. He’s probably worried that I’m lost, but I’m angry.
I take a deep breath before picking it up.
“Renée, what the hell? I’ve been calling you. You have me worried,” he says, and I roll my eyes.
“So, you forgot to mention that the man I risked my life to get arrested not only is free but lives in the same estate as my appointment?” I’m so pissed right now. I trusted Dell when he said the guys would never put my life at risk and that it was all worth it, only for them to release Alessandro barely twenty-four hours later.
“I just found out that he was released a couple of hours ago. I was going to tell you. But wait, how did you know that? And how did you know where he lives?” I shake my head in disbelief and take the first left turn Maria mentioned. All I did to have him arrested was just a waste of my time.
“Because, when I got lost, the first building I stopped at to ask for directions just happened to be his home. Also, did you and your guys think it would be a good idea to send me to flirt with a married man?” I ask, and he goes quiet. He doesn’t have an excuse for that one.
“Renée... it’s complicated,” he says.
“No, Dell,”
“Come on, it’s not like that was supposed to be anything. You were just flirting with him to get his undivided attention,” I roll my eyes for the umpteenth time.
“Seriously?”
“Are you okay? Are you safe? Did he recognize you?” he asks, and I scoff. He is unbelievable.
“Yes, I am safe, headed to Eleonora’s now, and there’s a high chance he might have recognized me.”
“Uh... Renée, can you come to the office? I can have Eleonora reschedule the shoot.”
“No, Dell, I’m almost there. I’ll come after the shoot,” I mutter, feeling frustrated.
My eyes are on the road ahead as I look for the street number when suddenly a sleek black sedan speeds past me and swerves in front of me, forcing me to slam on my brakes. My heart leaps into my throat as I struggle to maintain control of my car, swerving slightly before coming to a stop. The car blocks my path completely, and I’m momentarily frozen, trying to process what’s happening.
“Dell, I have to go,” I say, my voice shaking. I hang up and grip the steering wheel so tightly that my knuckles ache.
Before I can contemplate my next move, the car doors burst open, and two men dressed in all black, their faces completely covered by masks, rush towards me. I panic as I fumble to lock my doors. But it’s too late. One of them reaches my door and yanks it open with alarming force.
“Get out of the car!” he barks, his voice muffled by the mask.
“What... what do you want?” I stammer, my voice trembling with fear.
The other man grabs my arm, pulling me out of the car with a rough yank. I try to resist, but they are too strong. I scream, but the sound is cut short as the man presses a handkerchief over my mouth and nose. The pungent smell hits me instantly, and I recognize it as chloroform.
“No, please...” I gasp, but the world starts to blur. My vision swims, and my limbs go weak. The last thing I see before everything goes dark is the masked man’s cold, emotionless eyes staring down at me.
##########
The scent of vanilla frosting and fresh-cut flowers lingers in the air as I bend to fix Luca’s bowtie. Not that Luca. The newer, chubbier, clingier one—Luca Alessandro Jr. Today is his first birthday, and true to form, he’s both drooling on my silk blouse and trying to eat the edge of his party hat.“I named you after a man who feared bibs,” I whisper, chuckling as I wipe his chin. “Don’t disappoint your namesake.”Alessandro is on the phone a few feet away, murmuring something in Italian. I recognize the clipped tone—it’s a business call, Mafia business, which he promised wouldn’t interrupt today. But of course, it has. It always does.I shift baby Luca onto my hip and scan the garden. Rosie is running barefoot on the grass, her curls bouncing, chasing Tim, who’s shrieking with laughter and clutching his juice like it’s his last defense. Alberto is seated under the gazebo with his ske
I think when I suggested we elope and get married, it didn't cross my mind that we would both want this so desperately.We are running late.Not for anything grand. Not for some dramatic scene with tuxedos and white gowns. But for a quiet moment we’ve promised each other—just us, a judge, and the kind of silence that feels like forever.It's happening. And I'm over the moon, but still, there's a little part of me that's scared. The last time I tried to get married, I lost my husband. I know that we are keeping this a secret, which means no one will try to stop it, but still. The unhealed, traumatic part of me is a little scared.But here we are, regardless.I’m still laughing when we get into the car. Alessandro is double-checking the documents for the fifth time like the world might conspire to keep us from saying I do. Dell and Tati are already in the backseat, bickering over who should’ve brought the champagne.&ld
They say time heals all wounds, but I want to disagree. It heals, sure, but not all wounds. Just parts—small parts.It's been months since I finally accepted that Luca was gone. That that was a love I got to enjoy for a moment, but it was gone now. I did get back to therapy. I don't go as regularly as I used to, but I got the help.I don't see him in my dreams anymore. But that's fine. Because I learnt that if I wanted to let him go, then I had to let him go in my dreams as well.I’m better now. Not perfect—no one really is after death brushes past your doorstep and lingers like smoke in your lungs—but I’m better. I’m breathing again without that tightness in my chest, the one that made every exhale feel like grief. The kind that wraps around your ribs and whispers, “You shouldn’t be okay yet.”But I am. Because I’m allowed to be. Because Alessandro—my Alessandro—didn’t let go o
The hospital waiting room hums with muted voices and distant beeping. I sit stiffly on the edge of a plastic chair, arms crossed tightly over my chest, staring blankly at the tiled floor. Dell's parents are here, as are Bella and Alessandro—though the only one I’ve been carefully avoiding eye contact with is him.It's been hours.I know labor takes long, but I didn't think we would be here the whole day. It's almost eight in the evening, and still there's no news from the doctors.Everyone else seems to be relaxed except for Bella and me. They say this is how it happens, so they aren't worried. But I am, given I'm the one person close to Tati's relative here. Her parents did call from back home and said they will be taking the next flight here. So I know she will get more moral support than the little to none that I can offer.They're across the room, speaking in hushed tones, but I can hear her. Alessandro’s mother. Laughing softly as s
I unfold the letter with trembling fingers. The paper is slightly worn, the edges soft like it’s been handled too many times before it got to me. It's so obvious that Alessandro didn't handle it well when he read it. I don't even know why he would read it when it was clearly addressed to me. My heart is thudding in my chest—fast, heavy, uneven. I don’t know what I expect this letter to say. I don’t even know if I want to know.But I asked for this.I asked Tati to come. Told her I couldn’t do this alone. And when she asked if she could bring Bella, I said yes. Of course I said yes.Because they’re my people. My chosen sisters.I know Bella and I have been distant these past years, but it was never quite a fallout. I think we just followed different paths, so I'm glad that she is here.They sit quietly on either side of me now—Tati’s warm hand on my knee, Bella’s arm looped around my shoulder lik
"Truth or Dare?"I smile."Truth.""Do you still love Alessandro?"I swallow hard. I always knew this question was going to come eventually. I mean, I did tell him six months into us dating that he can ask me that question again after a year of us dating. It's been a year and a couple of months. I thought he would have forgotten about that by now.I take a sip of the drink because I don't know how I'm supposed to answer that question. My feelings for Alessandro were complicated, and I don't want to lie by telling Luca that they are no longer there, because they are."I guess that answers it," he says, his face fallen."Luca...""It's okay, let's continue with the game," he says dismissively, and I sigh and move closer to him and take his hands in mine."I love you," I whisper.I can see the doubt in his eyes. It's always been there, even after I've told him so many times, he still somehow doesn't believe me.