Did you for done second believe Damiano was an idiot?
"Listen, Damiano, you're not allowed to be anything else other than a police officer. Do you hear me? That is the only thing you will be when you grow up so don't even think of dreaming about something else" That's what Mama used to tell me. She drilled it into my head until I believed that what she said was true. I wasn't allowed to be a doctor or a lawyer or even a businessman. By the time I was ten, I'd forgotten what I wanted to be. If anyone asked, being a policeman was my dream. Why? Because Mama said it was what I was meant to be. Honestly, there were times I resented her for forcing me into this career. At eighteen when my friends were going off to college, I was preparing myself to go into a police academy. That was the time I truly hated her. But I couldn't defy her because she was my mother and the only person I had in this world. For all her flaws, there was one thing I would never doubt and that was her love for me. She wanted me to grow up to be a respectable man, unl
I shrug "Sorry about that. I just think you should concentrate on being a mother and leave these things to us men" okay, that came out wrong. I didn't mean to put it like that. "Would you look at that? Who knew you were such an asshole?" "Sorry, I meant that you should just stay at home and... No, you know what I mean. I would never suggest that you are incapable of being the leader or anything like that" I need to shut up before she decides to kill me. Between her and Marianna I don't know whose temper is worse. I mean if she shot De Luca once, what would she do to me? "Keep going you little shit and see how I'll skin your dick before I kill you" she snarls pushing her chair back and standing up. Luckily, De Luca pulls her down, asking her to calm down. "I honestly didn't mean to offend you" "Who the fuck are you and why are you here?" Moretti speaks up for the first time since I got here. See these are the kind of questions they should have asked from the beginning. "I am
Past Zarina, Zarina! Where the fuck are you?" "Language Edmondo. Your son is standing right next to you" Zarina chastised. She knew her husband would always have a filthy mouth, but she expected him to control it whenever they were around their son. "My son, is it?" he asked sarcastically "Go upstairs Cris, I need to talk to your mother" "But Papa, you promised to play football with me once we got home" A young Cristiano whined. His father was spoiling him and it was time to put a stop to it before he grew up to be one of those egotistical men. She wanted him to be confident but not arrogant. In their world, arrogance was something that could easily get you killed. "I'll come get you once we're done talking. Now go" "You promise?" "Yes, now leave," he said impatiently making Zarina furrow her eyebrows. This was the first she'd ever seen her husband show any kind of impatience towards Cristiano. Normally he tolerated everything his son did, good or bad. With his
Everyone is worried. Ornella is sitting in one of the chairs wringing her hands, Marianna is next to her, looking down at her phone, and Giovanni is pacing back and forth in front of the waiting room. Paulo is seated in another corner, elbows on his knees while his head is bowed. Gianna and Simona are huddled together crying. Nev is also next to me, staring into space. Not forgetting Damiano, he's beside Marianna but I haven't seen them talking. There are nurses rushing back and forth. The first was carrying a bag of blood. The next had bottles of what I figured had to be medicine. The third left but hasn't come back. In short, it's chaos. I think I heard Giovanni swear he was going to gut the little bitch that shot Carina and Damiano told him if he tried to touch her he'd spend the rest of his life in prison. Not sure what that means though. Did I mention Ornella is holding a rosary? I bet she's praying for her daughter to come out alive. There was a lot of blood so I guess she's ri
The sun is shining brightly today, the kind of day that invites you to lie around and bask under the bright, warm golden sun rays. I've never done this before. I mean sitting somewhere to enjoy the day. Sweeping my gaze around the place I realize I'm in a park. And like the start of a movie, things start to come to life. The greenest grass I've ever seen spreads over the ground and with it, people appear. Men, women, children, and pets, fill the place. Playing, others sitting, some are coming while others are going. I don't think my mind has the capacity to wonder where I am or why all this is happening. I just want to enjoy everything so screw logic. There's a family in the middle, sitting on a blanket and laughing. I think they're having a picnic, something normal people do from time to time. It occurs to me that I've never been on a picnic and a wave of jealousy hits me, so strong that I feel the burn of tears behind my eyelids. Why is it that some people are allowed to do that an
I sit up looking around. Aside from Carla, there's no one else here. Then who's voice was that? I've never heard it before "Is anyone there?" I ask out loud. We've been here for a few weeks now and I haven't seen another soul around. We don't even have neighbors "Hello?" "It's morning already?" Carla asks yawning. "No, I think I heard someone calling me. Are you sure it's just us here?" "Yes. We should sleep. Remember you promised me how to throw knives tomorrow?" at that statement my head starts spinning. I don't remember promising Carla anything like that. It wasn't her. It was... "Morning. I came up with a new breakfast" Carla says jumping on the bed. She's also annoying like that. Every day she gets up earlier than me then jumps up and down on my bed to wake me up. Whatever happened to shaking people awake? Or wait for their eyes to open themselves? "Ugh, stop that. I'm still sleepy" "But we have so much to do" "Do it yourself. Have you never heard of that? DIY?" I gr
"Till death do us part. Did you hear that? Till death... " She rolls her eyes but she's grinning from ear to ear just like I am. "Yeah, yeah. I heard it alright, I'm not deaf you know" "No, you're not. Just pregnant, with my baby. I still can't believe I'm going to be a father" "I can't believe I'm going to look like a watermelon in a few months. You know it's not going to be pretty, right? I won't be pretty at all" "Honestly, I can't imagine you not being pretty. Even if you do end up looking like a watermelon" "It's even going to be worse after I give birth. I went online and the other women's experiences scared the shit out of me" "Oh yeah? Like what?" "Doctors chopping my vagina if it's too small for the baby to pass through" I blanch but luckily she doesn't see it because I'm behind her. "That is not true, baby. Don't listen to them" "And then there's the husband stitch" "What the fuck is that?" "They add extra sutures to a woman's vagina to make it tighter."
Nevio is waiting for me by the door. Our house which is now fully renovated makes me a little happy. We had people working day and night to restore it because I was excited to add a nursery. For our child who is now no more. But it's still my house. I can't find it in me to hate it especially now that it has all the fucking memories of her. She's lying half-dead in a hospital. The doctors say it's a waiting game that only she can end by waking up. Half of me wishes she could sleep forever so I don't ever have to look into her eyes again. I've imagined what will happen when she wakes up and finds out the baby is gone. I know she'll be sad because both of us were looking forward to being parents. I had finally managed to make her understand that no matter what happened I would be there for her and the baby. That I wouldn't abandon them. And then this happens. I hate her. I hate myself. I hate my mother for doing this to me and I hate knowing that I deserve everything happening to me.
Is it weird that I'm comparing Marco's kiss to the one I had back in the hospital with that man? It wasn't even a kiss to begin with, just a peck. But when Marco kissed me yesterday, my reaction to him was different. He was sweet, and gentle and told me to get some rest after. He didn't even try to grab my ass or tits. Not that the other man did. But with Marco, I didn't want more like I did with him. He didn't calm my mind or make me feel safe. It was just a kiss.Except that's the reason I can't get over this. Since when does a kiss make me feel safe? I'm convinced everyone is lying to me. There's no way they don't know who the man from the hospital is. I've checked everyone's phones to try and see if I can maybe find a picture of him. So far I haven't found anything. What's even weirder is that my phone doesn't have any photos I could have taken for the past seven months. Someone deleted everything and I know that because I post on Instagram a lot. There is no way I didn't take an
I finally understand why Marianna was so insistent we follow Carina to this island. It’s like a little slice of heaven. A place where the real world fades away. I guess you can call this my first vacation ever. Growing up, my mother never let me do anything other than study. There was no room for failure because if I didn’t excel in every subject, I’d never make it into the police academy. I wouldn’t call my life miserable, but it was far from easy. There were so many things I never got to experience because she wouldn’t allow it. Birthdays, sleepovers, or even trips. While other kids stayed up playing video games, I was busy studying so I could get the perfect score. I wasn't allowed to visit my classmate's houses or go to the arcade after school. The few friends I did manage to make finally unfriended me because my mother would come to pick me up at school and drive them away with her strictness. She drilled the importance of studying in my head. And I understood it was, I just cou
"What the fuck Cris? How many times have we talked about how to use a condom?" Nev spits his eyes blazing. He's pissed that he had to cancel his plans because some pregnant whore showed up here claiming I'm the father of the baby she's carrying. Like I was the one who told him to cancel. And as if my life isn't hard enough, this has to happen. What the hell am I supposed to do with a kid when I'm such a mess? The irony of this is that a few months ago, I was ready to have a child. With my wife, not some whore I might have slept with when I was drunk. "I've never slept with anyone without using a condom" I defend myself but of course, Nev knows how to push my buttons. "Really? Then why is it that you've gotten two women pregnant in the last eight months?" Way to rub salt in my wound asshole. "Fuck you. You say that as if you don't have a kid" I throw back. He of all people shouldn't judge me but he's right. I've been careless. "Besides we don't know if that kid is mine" "Do you r
"Marco..." "Dinner first or we watch the sunset then have dinner after?" he asks cutting me off. "Dinner" I need to keep my hands busy and my ass glued to a chair before I run away from here. That's something else I don't understand. Why do I feel like running? This man has been nothing but sweet to me. Not once did he force me to do anything I didn't want. So why is my instinct telling me to run? "Come on then. Let's eat. I found the best chef around to prepare the food" he walks ahead pulling out the chair for me. As I'm sitting a thought flits through my mind, making me drop on the seat unceremoniously. I'm going to wine and dine you first then take you home and fuck you till the sun comes up. What the fuck? "Carina, are you okay?" Marco's voice startles me. "What? Yeah, I'm fine" "Are you sure? I lost you there for a second" "It's nothing. I'm okay" "Good. Well, your... What are they anyway? Employees or friends?" "Both" "Right. I asked them what you liked and I was to
I'm kind of mad I forgot about the other vacation. This place is as close as you can get to paradise. Gianna found herself a hot Spanish guy and I've barely seen her since then. Simona's guy is a black Idris Elba's look-alike she hasn't stopped showing off and Paulo and Silvano have been MIA since they found their dream girl. Her name is Helena, a bombshell blonde who was more than happy to accommodate them. We had dinner yesterday and they introduced her to me. Judging by the way Sil was talking, I think they're planning on taking her home with them. Marianna and Damiano disappeared all right. I haven't seen them since we got here. That was three days ago. It's as if they all came here to get laid. And I might feel bad about being left alone except I'm not. Mark turned out to be Marco Schiavone and he has been a pleasure. When I first met him, I thought he was kind. Not everyone will go around offering to help you. I believe he knew who I was all along, and now that he's revealed hi
I didn't bring Fabian with me today but knowing him, he's probably somewhere waiting for my call. I don't need him because I'm done drinking and getting wasted. My business is my priority now. We're still on shaky ground and if it wasn't for Nevio, I'm sure there would be nothing to return to. I might feel like punching him most of the time but I also know no one will ever have my back the way he does. And during this time, he's proven his loyalty to me. If it was someone else, they might have taken advantage of my situation to push me out. But not him. When I get home, he's waiting for me with another piece of news. It's as if he spends all day collecting information from all over the world and then waits for me to get home so he can report. Eighty percent of the time, his report has nothing to do with the organization and more to do with Carina. Yes, I can say her name now without feeling like some invisible force is trying to squeeze my heart. I'm guessing my changed feelings have
I finally decided to talk to my mother because ignoring her wasn't going to solve anything. After three long months, I realized that even drinking won't answer my questions, which to be honest, have kept piling up as each day went by. Before I even start accepting who I am, I need to know why she lied to me for all these years. Why she made me hate Lombardi knowing he was my biological father. The real reason Lombardi killed my father. While I was drunk, it occurred to me that their feud had nothing to do with business. Papa found out I was his best friend's son so he went to confront him. If the truth was already out, why kill him? My father could have threatened Lombardi with kicking me out or even sending me away but that was no reason to kill him. The fucker was powerful. He could have found me one way or another. I think he would have enjoyed turning me against the man who I worshipped. That would have been a better revenge than killing him. I can't help but wonder if there's mo
"I won't share my room with you. As a matter of fact, you'll disappear the moment we get there" "Thank you. I promise you won't even know we're there" "We?" "Yeah. Damiano is coming too" I roll my eyes just as Simona walks in "Isn't he busy with running the organization?" "I'm sure Giovanni can handle everything while we're away. How long will we be gone? I need to know how many clothes I should pack" "Three weeks or maybe longer" "What, you're actually going to let her come with us?" Simona asks glaring at Marianna. She sticks her tongue out at Simona then leaves, to probably go and tell her boyfriend about the good news "She's such a brat. Why did you agree to let her come? You know how she is" "Relax. I told her we were only giving them a ride. The second we get there, they'll disappear" "She better. We so need to get holiday boyfriends. Especially some hot foreigners who don't speak English and are really good in bed. Last time we didn't get to have fun because De Lu..."
"Oh my God, Paulo, that woman is driving me insane. I feel like pulling my hair out. How many times do I have to tell her I don't want anything?" "She only wants to take care of you, babe. Don't be like that" "If she asks whether I'm okay one more time, I swear I'll shoot her" Paulo chuckles and I want to shoot him too "Why are you laughing? Do you think this is funny?" "No. It's just that you said the same thing a few months ago before we took off to the Maldives" "Maldives? Are you telling me we went to the Maldives and I forgot about it?" I screech feeling like shooting someone for real. How could I forget going there? I've seen the photos on their website and that place looks like heaven. It was among my top places to visit once I got rid of Padre. Why the fuck would I forget that? "At least tell me we met some hot guys and had wild sex on the beach" "There were hot guys alright but you were too busy to notice them" "Busy with what?" he shakes his head and I realize this is