71. Somber

Lucian

I vividly recalled her death many times a day in my head. Neither portrait nor photo could unease the despair and loss I felt every time the memory replayed. All that I can think of is I'm not fast enough. Not strict enough.

The left side of my nose violently twitched. I inhaled swiftly—thinking it would calm me, but there isn't much that could stop it— and just as quickly exhaled.

I only got like this when im anxious or furious. I get anxious and firefilled when that memory comes to mind. I'm a fucking king. I don't fear; I AM FEAR.

"Sir," Yuhan quietly inserted.

"Not today," I sighed.

"Then when? You have to stop sulking someday. You have things to do now," Yuhan tried to coerce me.

"I'm supposed to be mighty," I exclaimed.

Yuhan nodded, "You are mighty, my king."

I rolled at my eyes at the useless attempt of comfort. "Bullshit," I called him out. "How do I let some twisted fuck stick a damn spear through my wife?"

I continued venting my frustrations before Yuhan could