XXXVI.Affliction

Ivan

My heartbeat was thunderous in my ears, my chest unbearably tight. The air in my lungs felt incredibly compacted. I clenched my fist, wondering why my body was acting the way it was. I became unnaturally nervous as I stared at my beloved. Her eyes remained focused on the gold and black tie I wore but she wasn't really looking at the tie itself. She was thinking. I knew it by the familiar look on her face that she was deep in thought.

Upon informing her about my kingdom and my position in it, she had said nothing. The wait was killing me. Her silence was tearing me to bits.

I realized then that the heightened senses, the weight in chest, the great discomfort, they were all due to anxiety. I was scarcely ever anxious or nervous - if at all -  and so I was not well accustomed to whatever was happening. Not even in times of war, when I knew my enemies were drawing closer had I felt this way. This woman, standing right their drew something from inside me. She was able to reach into me and bring out my deepest insecurities.

She made me something I had never truly been. She made me human.

"Say something," I chocked out. It came out as a plea. I almost never plea. This was so unlike me. I felt out of my own skin, waiting for her to speak and take away this wretched emotion that ate at me. " Please."

This went against everything my being knew, everything I'd been told when I was younger. My kind were never vulnerable. We never plea, never beg. Most of all, we never feared. We were fear.

And now that was all I felt. From the moment I met this small creature before me fear had become  an affliction that never left me. I was afraid, not for my well-being but for hers. Because her well-being meant my survival, for only when she took another breath did my heart receive the mandate to take another beat.

' You are weak! Your compassion makes you weak.'   My father's words came again. Even after eight centuries without him, his words still disturbed me. It was like he was always there. Would I ever be rid of him?

"Why are you worried?" said Cara. She had seen my worry and sought to comfort me. I doubt anyone knew me as well as she did.

She gently touched my face, cupping my cheek with her small hand. I had no choice but to answer her. "I'm afraid you'll leave me."

The statement was a revelation not only to her but also to myself. It seemed to surprise me more than it did her.

"I would never do that to you. I know how it feels...to worry that someone might abandon you all of a sudden and you will go the rest of your life without them and I can't do that to you, ever."

I was reassured. But it was not just the fear of her abandoning me that disturbed me but the also the fear that someone would snatch her away from my grip. I had many enemies, none of whom I had ever felt threatened by, until she came along. 

My stare fell to the mark on her wrist. Through it, Zoladie had declared that she was after Cara's life and had simultaneously declared war with me. The tattoo served as a constant reminder , more to myself that to its wearer that at any given moment,  out of the clear blue sky, Zoladie would strike.

My body was suddenly on high alert.

The sound of the Mac a' Bhaird twins approaching caused a tension to spread through me , the usual effect of someone coming near my beloved.

The two came and paused at the entrance, no doubt cautious not to walk in on the king and his company in a compromising position.

"Enter," I instructed loud enough for them to hear. They entered and bowed in unison. This was not a formal occasion so a simple bow would do. Otherwise they would have had to descend to their knees, then I would touch the nape of their necks, a show of trust and loyalty among my people.

Three warriors came in and silently gave a bow before moving to stand aside. Their work was to  assured both mine and Cara's security. They made sure that no treachery would take place on the part of the twins. It was not unheard of for witches to use portals to... get rid of people, it was, after all,  impossible to tell a portal's destination before  one was already aboard and it was too late.

"My king," said Ness Mac a' Bhaird. He avoided my gaze while his brother looked me right in the eyes.

It seemed that all the bravery in the family had gone to Kin.

"Are you prepared?" Asked the brave one.

Despite the sharp contrast in their personalities, they were good friends and made an even better team. That was why had I appointed them for the job they were about to perform. The Mac a' Bhaird twins served as the most skilled spellcasters. The two had also proved themselves the best portalists in the kingdom. 

Their reputation however did not mean I trusted fully in their abilities.

Without answering Kin's previous question, I went to the cabinet and took out a certain stone. The rock glowed sickeningly in my palm. Its color changed from purple to lilac to maroon. It appeared that there was something floating in an eternal space inside it.

I handed the object Ness whose only response was a blank stare. His brother spoke," we don't need that."

I turned to Kin who seemed to be the only one capable of handling my stare," I'm sure you don't. But you'll still use it." My reply gave no room for further debate on the matter and we proceeded without any further argument.

"We're ready," I announced. I shifted my attention back to Cara. She keenly observed as the two spellcasters took their position in front of the stone that marked the location of the portal. The twins interlocked their fingers and held the energy stone in the net made by their fingers. Each raised their free hand and began the spell.

The spell itself was short and simple but it required a lot of force and will power. A thick cloud of blue air started to form. The cloud spun, appearing as some sort of hurricane. The portal reached its climax and they threw the stone in. I'd watched this procedure countless times and so I knew what was next. As the portal matured it took on the color of the energy stone.

The twins moved to the side. I took Cara's hand. She gave mine a squeeze signaling to me that she was afraid. I interlaced our fingers in a tight hold, a quiet reassurance that everything was going to be alright.

And she followed me. She walked ahead with me and into the portal, having no idea how much it meant to me that had she put her trust in me.

***

Cara

It felt like I was at the center of a deep sea, floating, surrounded by water. I closed my eyes and I felt like I was swimming, all of my body immersed in water, yet I breathe just fine. The water was heavy around my body and the only thing that kept me from drifting off, sinking, was Ivan. He was my anchor. He held my hand strongly, not letting go.

 Fatigue set in. My form grew weak. Vitality drained from by body.

"Cara, stand," Ivan's voice came hoarsely in my eyes. I willed my body to do as told. Abruptly, I was on solid ground, no longer floating.

I opened my eyes and I was elsewhere. Very far from home.