Painless Death

"Oh dear baby, what happened? Why are you crying?" asked Prince Erwin while he wiped my tears with his thumb.

Madam Alisya had thrown me to his chamber and left me alone with him.

"Tell me, Anna, who hurt you?"

"Why should I tell you? It's none of your business. We don't know each other. You're a stranger to me," I said as I slapped his hands.

The Prince lifted my chin and forced me to look at his face.

"Dear, you are very pretty, but you are a little rude. Do you know that you can be beheaded for saying something rude like that to me?"

"I know. You can do it if you want to. Draw your sword and slit my throat. Honestly, I do not know why I had to stay alive. Life and death are the same to me. Death seems happier since I feel nothing. At least I can meet my family at paradise." I said with tears in my eyes.

The Prince picked up a dagger from his work desk. Then, he pointed the dagger at my face, right in my nose, between my eyes.

"Close your eyes." The Prince said. 

I closed my eyes, preparing to feel the pain, when a dagger stabbed my head. But, Suddenly, I heard the sound of the dagger falling to the floor. 

"Open your eyes." The Prince said.

I opened my eyes.

"Why didn't you kill me?" I asked.

"Your bravery has to be applauded. I didn't expect you to be so brave to face death."

"I just didn't know what to do with the rest of my life. I miss my loved ones."

The Prince then took out a small glass bottle from his work-desk drawer.

"Do you know what liquid is in this bottle?"

"I don't know, my prince."

"This clear liquid is called night-shadow water. Drinking just a drop of it can kill you in a few seconds. You'll be drowsy and die painless, as if you were asleep, feeling no misery."

"Is that the reward for my bravery?"

"Yes, but..."

The Prince placed the transparent bottle in his left hand while his right fingers hands touched my face. He stroked my hair, then my ear, my cheek, my nose, and finally, his thumb brushed my lips.

"Think about this carefully, dear. Do you know what happens to a lifeless body? It rots, bubbles up, and is eaten by worms. That will also happen to your young, pretty body. You are still very fresh and sweet, only twenty years old. Don't you want to continue your life? Don't you want to meet the love of your life? So many beautiful things and happiness that you can't miss. You're sad and sensitive now, but your sadness will disappear in a few months. You Will forget your dead family. You are too young, too beautiful to die."

"It's weird. This palace feels very familiar to me. It's as if I've walked the halls of this palace many times before. And when I set foot in here, I knew I was here only to suffer. There is an ominous aura in this palace, Erwin. I don't belong here. And I don't wanna be here."

"How do you know? Can you read the future?"

"No, I can't. It's just my gut feeling. Besides, dying now or dying tomorrow makes no difference. I know what you want from me. You want me to bear children for you. After that, you will kill me, right?"

"I love your red hair, miss. Maybe if we get to know each other better, I will be able to fall in love with you."

"But I don't want to fall in love with a man loved by so many other women."

And he laughed at what I said.

"Miss, I don't like women."

I frowned.

"So you are into men?"

He chuckled again.

"I mean, I don't like to play with women like my father. My father worshiped his concubines too much to the point of neglecting his royal duties. I will make you my true friend, my lover, my lady. Your only duties will be to listen to me, accompany me through my days, laugh at my jokes, and whatever lovers and best friend. You will be my only confidant. We don't have to have sex if you don't want to. As your reward, I will give you a safe and comfortable life in the harem. How's that? Will you be my lover?"

I shook my head. The prince looked disappointed and handed me a clear bottle filled with the night's shadowy liquid. He placed it in my left hand.

"Drink it up. I offer you my love, and you still choose death." He said.

"You promise I won't feel hurt?"

"I promise you, my dear."

I spilled the entire liquid into my mouth. With one gulp, the night shadow entered my stomach.

Prince Erwin suddenly picked me up and laid me on his bed. He then lay down right next to me.

"Tell me." He said.

"Tell you what?"

"Your true feelings."

"I am not feeling that bad. I'm happy to die painlessly while looking at your handsome face. May I tell you my final confession, master?"

He nodded

"You are such a beautiful human being. They say you are heartless, but I think, deep inside, you have a tender heart."

 "Oh dear, you don't know what I did on the battlefield. They call me a demon who loves to shed human blood. What makes you assume I have a tender heart?"

"I see deep inside your eyes. You're a person with a soft heart."

"May I say my final confession too?"

I nodded

"I also feel like we've met before, Anna. I feel like you're an old lover coming back to me. I never felt like you were a stranger. Like... we used to be so close... Back then, I felt like, your red hair was once the sun in my dark world. But I can't remember who you are now."

I smiled sincerely at him.

"Goodbye, Erwin."

Then, I lost consciousness.