CHAPTER 2

(AHVI'S POINT OF VIEW)

Have you ever looked at your stepbrother and been like damn! I want him?

The mere thought of this gives me perturbation and again, gave me insomnia last night, and now I can narrowly concentrate in class because he's home again. I'm going to lose my mind.

"You already are if you keep mumbling to yourself,"

I sizzle at the impertinent interruption, then exhale a sigh and grab my mug of cappuccinos off the table of the coffee shop we are in and take a sip. "Everything feels so wrong," I enunciated thoughtlessly.

"How long is he staying this time?" My best friend Raven inquires, mounting on a croissant and latte.

I shrug. "I don't know, a few days or few weeks," Maybe years. He's a wanderlust, so I rarely see him; always out with his friends exploring forests and mountains. Adventurous, that one.

"He's going to leave eventually and you won't see him again for months. Continue on that path and no one gets to know your dirty secret," Raven verbalizes with a mouth full. I grimace and watch as she swallows loudly, desensitized to the eccentric peeks she gets. "Or maybe, you can make him find a girlfriend. He's 27, should be married by now." She chortles at her farce.

"Maybe I should get a boyfriend," I mutter and take another sip.

Raven clicks her fingers as if she’s torrid with brilliant ideas. "That can work too. How about Rigel, your skat partner? He seems to like you a lot," She wiggles her brows at me.

Again, I grimace. "I don't like Rigel that way and he's dating Quinn,"

"A lot of people ship you two you know. You have this outlandish chemistry whenever you perform on the ice rink. It's like a breath of fresh air watching you two and I'm one of your greatest shippers," She grins at me with devilishness in her oceanic blue eyes. "And we all know he's dating Quinn because her daddy's sponsoring him. A little bitch that one but I guess one's good enough for you except your Step-Brother,"

I remember the first time I met him. I was 12. At first, it was just a frivolous little crush but the more I grew older, the more intense that little crush got. The pull I feel towards him is unorthodox. And now the thought of being in love with him keeps me awake at night and inundated me with apprehension. "He's going to hate me when he finds out I never saw him as a brother," while he has always regaled me like a little sister. With a sigh, I put down my cup of coffee and stood up. "Let's go, Raven, we have class to attend," I'm in the last year of college and just want to get this year over and done with.

"Already?! I'm not done yet!" She protests but I don't wait for her comeback as I step out of the coffee shop, being welcomed with the summer breeze of Chicago.

*~*

By the time I reach home, it's 4 in the evening. I drag my feet on the tiles and flip my backpack on the nearest sofa and proceed to drag my feet to the kitchen. I open the fridge and get myself a bottle of water and move over to the cupboard over the sink for a glass, pouring water into it. I bring the glass of water to my mouth but that's when I feel it.

The sudden press of a warm body at my back. I pause as the smell of lemon graces my nostrils and the feel of his warm breath on my neck.

"What are you doing?" He breaths into my ear, sending a shudder down my backbone. I jerk as if electrocuted while he chuckles behind me and reaches for the cupboard over my head and gets himself an empty glass before moving away.

"Why so jumpy sis?"

If I was dying of thirst before, now I'm not. Sluggishly I turn around with my glass of water but nearly drops it at the sight that greets me.

Vance isn't wearing a shirt, leaving his upper body naked while his lower body is covered in a pair of black sweatpants that look so fitting around his hips. Subconsciously, I rack my brown eyes over his strong arms with a moon tattoo on the left, the abs on his flat stomach, the wolf tattoo below his left beast, the sharp V line that goes straight into his pants and I see the obvious bulge in his pants. Oh fuck! I'm a virgin!

I quickly turn back to the sink and chuck down my glass of water.

"Careful, you might choke,"

And that has me stifling as I let out a painful cough that has me patting my chest and him rubbing my upper back.

"I'm fine," I guarantee and swiftly move away from his hand like it chars.

"Are you okay?" He questions in his husky and deep voice that sounds mellifluous in my ears. Josh! I want to cry and scream. Does he know what he's fucking doing to me?!

"I'm fine, I'll just go to my room," I don't linger around for his response as I quickly veer around and haste back to the living room, just in time as my Mom walks in with grocery bags.

"Ahvi, come help me," She calls out but I grab my backpack and hurry upstairs to my room, slamming the door behind me.

Fast, I unzip my bag and take out my bottle of pills. My hands quiver open the cap, and the anxiety crawling through my veins sprouts stronger till I put it out as I throw a few pills into my mouth.

With a deep breath, I slide down against the door to the floor. Fuck! I can't keep going like this, depending on those pills to calm down my nerves that always act up. At this point, I'm just going to die from an overdose, more like Vance is going to be the death of me.

I wish I could just put up the act, the brave font like Raven said and when he leaves, my heart can go back to normal but I can't because as the day goes by, my feelings for him grow stronger and they say absence makes the heart grow fonder.

That pull, it's unnatural, even a sniff of his scent makes me want to sin but I can't and no one can find out, especially my Mom, she's already disappointed that I chose skating instead of ballet.

No matter what, no one can know that what I feel for my stepbrother is abnormal.