“You can’t let them win,” I repeated my mantra in my head as two men held me down while a third lashes at me. The wounds on my back never healed. I didn’t go a week without being introduced to one or more new ways of torture. I’d developed a high tolerance to pain and to keep me down, Redville pack got more creative in their methods.
“They won’t break your spirit.” If I proved deeper, I’d find my spirit in shambles – what was left of it – but my mantra kept me going. The Redville wolves used me as their lab rat – the victim that they tested out new methods of torture on.“I’ll be strong.” These words repeated in my head, a steady mantra that lived with me for the past eleven years.Eleven years ago, my parents betrayed the pack. I had friends and a good life until they ruined it. They wanted more. My father wanted Alpha Zavier’s position and he went for it. My mother never learnt not to support her mate so through it all, through the secrets, the going about behind the pack, the infiltration of the Alpha’s circle and the subsequent attack, she supported him. I’d been nothing but a nine-year-old whose parents turned traitors.They didn’t even get to rain down fire and brimstone as they planned. A close friend – a man my father promised would be his Beta at the end of the coup – chickened out at the last minute and went running to Alpha Zavier. He played double-agent for my father and Alpha Zavier but really, all his loyalty shifted to the Alpha. He didn’t believe my father could pull it off so thanks to him, the mission failed before its completion.My mantra couldn’t help me this time. The chants in my head, the desperation to hold on to something, to find a bit of inner strength so I didn’t break, failed me that day. It had become too much. This, heaped on everything else I endured since yesterday, went past the mental barrier I struggled to keep in place all these years.They’d broken me.It was my worst fear coming to bitch-slap me. I tried to keep a part of myself, hold on to a bit of strength so I didn’t come off as a loser like my father but it ran in my blood. I couldn’t succeed. Whatever I did had to be wrong. Everything I laid my hands on failed.It was the truth.A truth I ran from for eleven years. A truth I welcomed now. If it didn’t get better for eleven years, it wouldn’t get better now. I’d never lead a better life. I’d let them win. I couldn’t be strong and they’d won before I even joined the game.“That’s enough.” Alpha Zavier called. The sounds of whips coming down one at a time stopped. It became obvious then that they weren’t the sounds filling the room. No, those were my screams, my pleas and apologies because while I tried to be strong in my mind, I failed to be strong in reality.Who’s wouldn’t cry if they got beat up every day? Who would endure as I had? I’d exhausted my strength. I’d cry and beg and feel sorry for myself as I tried not to. When Skylar asked me to kiss her feet, I would fall on my face and slobber all over her feet. When Lucian asked me to take off my clothes, I would rend them in a minute.What good was resistance? What good had keeping my spirit brought me all this while? They broke me. They won. I didn’t have it in me to care anymore.They left me in the cold cell room with me huddled into myself. The pain in my back warmed me. Blood trickled out of it to soak into my clothes, Tears didn’t stop streaming down my cheeks. My nose was blocked with snot that ran down my chin.I closed my eyes wishing everything would stop. I tried running away once and the torture I endured when they found me was not worth the initial excitement I had of freedom.Hell itself had to be better than this pack. The devil must be nicer than Alpha Zavier. He hated me. Oh goddess, how he hated me.I looked too much like my father for his sins not to reflect against me. I think when he looked at me, he saw the person who stole his world – killed his mate.‘I wish I hadn’t killed your father,’ he once said to me. ‘I should have kept him around to make him see what I’d do to you. To deal with him more than I could ever do to you.’ Hatred didn’t begin to describe what he felt for me. He loathed me, anchored me – he spat on the ground I walked on and hated the air I breathed.The sounds of approaching footsteps made me break out in cold sweat. When the key to the dungeon cell the Alpha kept me rattled, I closed my eyes, a chill going down my arm and spreading goosebumps.Back so soon?He’d kill me this time and I would welcome death with open arms at this point.“Goddess, it stinks in here.” I froze even more when I heard Lucien’s voice.‘I would welcome death with open arms but he would make death even more painful.Lucien, as hard as it may be to believe, had been my friend. As a child and even after the pack ostracized me. Everything changed a few years ago in an unfortunate turn of events that I wished never happened.“Keep your voice down. She may be sleeping.” When I heard Celeste’s voice after his, some of the knots in my stomach loosened. I didn’t dare move as the pain on my back and sides intensified with every small twitch of a muscle.“What did they do to her?” Was that pity I heard in Lucien’s voice? It couldn’t be. This man made my life worse by simply being in the same room as me.Skylar would come for my head if she found out we were in the same room without her present. Half the curses I endured from this pack that didn’t come from the Alpha came from him or his gang.I hated him.More than I did the Alpha. He’d been my friend. I’d convinced myself that he loved me but his betrayal stung.“We’ll get you out, Aysel.” I flinched from Celeste‘s touch on my face. Everyone felt like my enemy in this state, even my best friend.“How do we get her up without aggravating her injury?” I heard her ask Lucien.How would he know? Why would he care?“I’ll carry her.” From my weakened state, from deep within a mind hazy and delirious from pain, I knew nothing good could come from him touching me. I didn’t want his hands on me. I didn’t want him near me. I didn’t even want him in the same cell as me!“You’ll have to be careful.” Celeste took a step back. All their movements registered from a faraway land, a land I didn’t inhabit with them.“What could she have done?” He whispered. He’d come too close to me. I felt him reach out a hand but halt when I started to shiver violently. I didn’t have the strength to run but I didn’t want him touching me.“The same thing she did to you. You held her down while Bethel belted her just yesterday.” Celeste didn’t sound impressed with the softness of his voice.“That’s - that’s different. It was only six strokes we gave her.” Six? It felt like something between twenty and a hundred. Six!?“Whether it’s six or sixty, you’ve been a part of this. You’re only helping her because I’m blackmailing you so don’t try sounding as if you’re a saint here!” Her sharp voice pierced my eardrum. “The lot of you are disgusting. You, your stupid girlfriend and your stupid best friend. I hate all of you!”“Leave Sky out of this. You don’t know what she’s suffered.” I didn’t want them fighting in my cell. I had enough on my plate without adding loud sibling spat that they would make my fault again.“Fuck you and fuck Sky. She’s using you but you’re too blind to see.”“She loves me.”“You’re just her shiny boyfriend. She doesn’t give a damn about you but that’s your business. I’m here for my friend. Let’s get her out before Alpha Zavier returns.” Celeste ran her hand through my hair again and I felt myself being pulled up. I gasped as pain bit into my skin from numerous open wounds.“I’m so sorry.” She kept whispering until they somehow got me on Lucien’s back. I still trembled, my tremors now accompanied by soft whimpers. I feared Lucien would drop me despite his hands clasped on my thighs so I tightened my hands around his neck. This could be another cruel joke of his.“We’ll get you home.”I loved Lucien once. Along with Celeste, he’d been my best friend. His parents always quarrelled with him to stay away from me but he never listened to them. Things started to change when we entered high school six years ago. As we are older than Celeste by a year, it left the two of us as high school friends and Celeste still in middle school.It was around that time his infatuation with Skylar began. She’d been the hottest girl in our high school. I didn’t blame him for abandoning our friendship and choosing her. They made a golden couple – the Beta’s son with his mop of curly black hair, lean muscular build, and long legs and the Alpha’s daughter with the perfect figure eight and shiny long hair.Lucien couldn’t be friends with me while dating Skylar who hated me from childhood. She abhorred me even before she had a reason to. I let him choose his girlfriend before me but he wouldn’t let me go. He gave me false hopes that ruined what little reputation I had amongst my peers.“Are y
“What is that noise?” Monica asked for the tenth time while I washed the dishes used for the morning ceremony.The Feast of the Moon would come to an end this night with a pack run and an initiation into the pack for those that mated into the pack within the last year. Every werewolf able to shift was expected to honour the Alpha’s Call at the first sight of the full moon. Alpha Zavier would howl to call his pack and those who could, would rend their human forms and gallop into the woods for the final ritual of the Feast of the Moon. The rest of us stood outside with our faces raised to the moon, praying for a successful initiation and the opportunity to partake in the next Feast of the Moon.“What noise?” Claudia asked, pausing her washing to listen.Omegas didn’t have as good senses as other wolves. We were the weak links in most packs, valued only for our empathy and service. Monica as a Beta could hear sounds hundreds of miles away but we the omegas could barely hear what went on
I didn’t cry as I sat outside the sanctuary while everyone else ran to take cover. I didn’t cry when Skylar paused her frantic run to laugh in my face. I didn’t cry when Lucien tried forcing Celeste to join them in the sanctuary. I held the tears that threatened to spill.The moon would grace us soon. Goddess only knew what was going on as we sat outside at the foot of the stairs of one house. The decoration hanging from every porch didn’t look happy anymore as they did during the start of the Feast of the Moon. The chirping birds seemed to carry a mournful tone with them. The darkening skies brought gloom with them.“You still have time to join them,” I told Celeste.I didn’t want her out here with me where I would worry about her every minute. If she went into the bunker like everyone else, I’d rest easy knowing I was the only one risking my life by being out here.“If you can’t go in, I won’t.” She took my hand in hers, squeezing them. I laid my head on her shoulder, inhaling her n
Latency meant I couldn’t shift; I had a wolf trapped inside of me that wouldn’t come out no matter how much I tried. My kind shifted at eighteen, with Alpha wolves shifting earlier – at seventeen. I would be twenty in a few weeks which meant for two years, I bore the stigma of being a traitor’s daughter and a latent wolf. I couldn’t shift until that night.Pain bloomed on every inch of my skin. Tiny pinpricks, sharp stabs, I felt them all at once as my body changed. Then the worst of them happened in my head, my skull. As if an external force pressed my skull together, I felt my head squeeze, my brain seemed to be crushed. It passed with excruciating slowness, my eardrums and eyes, nose, everything, changing all at once. If someone took a broken shard of glass and ran it into my eyeballs, they may not hurt as much as they did then.I hit the ground face first as I fell, my half-open mouth taking in sand and leaves. I hunched over but when the second wave came, it hit harder than the f
“It’s no secret that the Alpha Pack has taken up residence amongst us.” As Alpha Zavier spoke, a few members of the Alpha Pack walked by without sparing him a glance. No, it wasn’t a secret. “It’s also no secret what they want.” A few people began muttering as Alpha Zavier drew out his speech, keeping us all in suspense.Everyone already went into hiding but he called us all out of hiding. For what? A speech without a head or tail? The two girls behind me fidgeted, tapping their feet and holding on to each other as the entire shifted wolves in the pack gather in the arena in response to the second Alpha‘s Call of the night.“I had a brief conversation with him and we agreed on a method that will save us from war.” He took a deep, stuttered breath, his loud voice subdued as he spoke. It made the wolf in me lower her head, placing a paw across her eyes at the weakened state of our Alpha.In less than twenty-four hours, another Alpha came to throw our lives on its head and made our Alpha
A new week came with a new administration. I hadn’t set eyes on Alpha Valens but I saw the changes. One by one, his men filled every top spot in the pack. Beta Jabari became the pack beta, a new witch who we didn’t know became the pack’s oracle, his men replaced the head warriors of each brigade and Skylar didn’t step on people as much as she used to.Alpha Valens, in a rare show of mercy, banished Alpha Zavier from the pack lands rather than kill him as any other alpha would have done in a takeover. Skylar and Bethel refused to leave with their father to become rogues or solitary wolves so the Alpha left alone, shamed and disgraced with his pack watching forlornly.None of this affected me in any way. All the changes happened at the top and people like me at the bottom weren’t affected in any way. People like Skylar and Lucien suffered but people like me who never had relevance or status still had no relevance or status after the violent takeover.I only pitied Celeste as her parents
“What are you doing? Hurry up and take this to the prince!” Astrid shouted at me. I stood with the tray shaking in my hands, fear paralyzing me from head to toe. I didn’t want to do this but I had no choice. I didn’t want Skylar to implicate Celeste because I refused to do it. She’d not rest until she destroyed everything that I was and held dear so I didn’t have any choice but to comply with her wishes if I didn’t want something bad to happen to my best friend.I took the tray from the kitchen and mixed the poison into the drink on the Alpha’s tray. This would be the second time I would deliver his meals to his room in the penthouse of the pack house. I hoped that like the first time, he wouldn’t be around when I entered the room.The suite was dark when I entered, only a small light from an open door illuminated the place. Dropping the tray on a table, I straightened, prepared to run out as the Alpha himself stepped out of the bathroom. My mouth flapped open and closed like a fish w
His smouldering gaze didn’t waver from mine as he gestured to a seat that I fell into with my eyes trying to avoid his. Artemis was howling with joy, giddy with excitement but I held myself from reading any meaning into his actions. I learnt early that I couldn’t be disappointed if I expected nothing.‘Did you not hear Beta Jabari?’ Artemis panted, taking a break from dancing around to speak to me. ‘He called us Luna.’ As Beta Jabari didn’t speak for Prince Valens, I didn’t see her point.“What is your name?” His clear, authoritative voice asked. I heard nothing in his voice and I expected to hear disgust, anger even.“Aysel.” I studied a scar on my index finger as if it was the most fascinating thing in the world. I did so I wouldn’t have to look at his body like a pervert. Fear wouldn’t let me look at his face but his body attracted my eyes. He had light brown nipples and light-tanned skin.“A beautiful name.” He pretended to sound impressed by my name.Artemis howled. She hadn’t be