{~~Logan Grey~~} I may be in a state where I don't even know if I'm working, or just existing. It's a strange limbo, where the lines between duty and mere survival blur, leaving me in a perpetual haze. The catalyst for this descent into emotional fog was the discovery of those letters—tangible evidence that Ava has been cheating on me before she left me. Each letter felt like a dagger, but I could only decipher one since the others were written in a language I didn't understand. Yet, even the single letter I could read was enough to shatter my heart all over again. I love that girl so much. Why the fuck would she do that to me? Was I really not giving her what she wanted? Was the relationship only good to me? Questions swirled in my mind, unrelenting and painful. Why do I even want her to come back? Really? It's a question that gnaws at my sanity. Why? Why am I not thinking of vengeance? Letting her come back and then brutally rejecting her. I blame her parents too. For helping her
{~~Avery Sterling~~} I stretched my bones, feeling the satisfying crackle of joints releasing tension. Ugh, what time is it? I'm tired. The hours had blurred together as I worked non-stop, barely taking a moment to breathe. My day was a relentless cycle of tasks, leaving my office only when absolutely necessary, constantly on the move. The thought of another long shift loomed over me as I packed up all my stuff from the office. I changed out of my scrubs, savoring the brief respite from their clinical sterility, and grabbed my bag, ready to finally head home. Just as I was about to leave, another nurse informed me that the medic alpha had left early. This was unusual, but I didn't let it stay in my mind for long. There was nothing I could do about it, and I was too exhausted to care. Maybe I'll ask him about it once I got home. But for now I couldn't be bothered. I was walking down the hall, mentally ticking off the final tasks of the day, when I spotted Shawn. He smiled at me, a
{~~Avery Sterling~~}“Logan, are you okay?”He chuckled, and I watched as he got up from the chair. And an almost empty bottle of whiskey between his fingers. The house was different. I couldn't find photos of my sister anywhere. Like one minute she had been all over the place and now she's not. Worry nibbled at my gut. I pressed my back against the door, closing it. “Where were you?”“I… um, I was invited to have dinner with Shawn.”His eyes were empty, but his face had a smile. “I see. So you and your sister share the same traits. You both like being in a relationship with me, but sleeping with someone else.”“Logan, that isn't fair. I didn't say that I was sleeping with him. We just shared a meal-” He chuckled once more, tipping the bottle to his lips and gulping down the last of the liquids. I placed my bag on the floor, and walked up to him. “You're wasted. I didn't sleep with Shawn. And-” I wanted to add that he said this wasn't a permanent relationship. But still, I wasn't
{~~Avery Sterling~~}I sat in the bathtub, thinking about my life and how I'd gotten to this point. Thinking about what Logan and I had just done, and the angry way it happened. The thoughts swirled around my mind like the water around me, uninvited and relentless. Perhaps there were things I could do differently to change it, but I forced those thoughts away. Tonight was not the time for regrets or self-recrimination. Tonight was for me, for finding a moment of peace amidst the chaos. I focused on the bath, letting the warmth and tranquility wash over me. It had started with the decision to treat myself, to carve out a slice of time just for me. After I cleaned up the living room, bare ass naked, I decided I needed to sleep. I got to the room, and just threw on a nightgown. I was standing there when I told myself I deserved some time of peace. A bath seemed like the way to achieve that. besides, sleeping without showering after sex would be madness.I had chosen my favorite nightgo
{~~Avery Sterling~~}This week blew by without anything else memorable happening. I was exhausted, but that didn't matter. It was a Saturday. No work, nothing. So I could come up with something else to keep me busy besides being a nurse, and dealing with crazy patients.I woke up with the kind of excitement that only comes with the promise of a free Saturday, completely shoving the events of last night away. Refusing to let my happy mood fade. The early morning light filtered through the curtains, casting a warm glow on the room. I stretched lazily in bed, savoring the feeling of not having to rush anywhere. Today was going to be a good day. I had been looking forward to spending time with Logan, maybe going for a walk in the park, grabbing some lunch, or just lazing around together. I want to try and work out a friendship. Because if he could at least smile at me, then last night won't make me feel like a whore.It had been a while since we had a day to ourselves without the pressure
{~~Avery Sterling~~}The bad thoughts were starting to get worse, and I let them run free. If I keep thinking of the barbeque as a bad thing then I won't end up feeling butt hurt when they toss me back aside. The barbeque wasn't bad, but I was glad to be away from my parents. Thank goodness. The smell of overcooked meat and the drone of endless small talk had been suffocating, yet a welcome escape from the constant scrutiny of home. My parents had a way of making even the most mundane gatherings feel like high-stakes social performances, and I'd played my part long enough for one day. Because for once, I was invited. While I drove back home, the fading sun casting long shadows across the road, those uneasy feelings I'd managed to forget all day began to resurface. It was as if the closer I got to home, the heavier my chest felt. The relief the pain, ugh I'm over the thought. I waited by the door, if I heard a sound then Logan was back. It was like I'd stepped off from pain and was
{~~Avery Sterling~~}I made it to my room just as Logan's silhouette appeared at the end of the hallway. I closed the door quietly, pressing my back against it as I tried to calm my racing heart. The letters were now safely documented on my phone, but the questions they raised were overwhelming. What did Logan know? And what would he do if he found out I'd been snooping? The unease that had crept back into my heart on the drive home now felt like a permanent fixture.I know the man that Ava was talking too. Do I even want to tell Logan? I ran that piece of shit out of town and he knows it was me who did. Do I even tell Logan? Do I explain why I did it? I helped, I thought she would get over him. She had bloody Logan Grey with her. I ought to strangle that bitch!Okay, play it cool. Play it cool.I went downstairs to say hello to Logan, trying to mask the guilt that gnawed at my insides. I’d just snooped through his room, invaded his privacy, and now I had to face him as if nothing ha
{~~Logan Grey~~}I woke up feeling gloomy, a heavy weight pressing down on my chest. The events of the previous night still clung to me, their echoes haunting my thoughts. I quickly shut down my emotions, pushing them to the back of my mind. I couldn't afford to dwell on them. Not now. Not ever really. I dragged myself out of bed and headed to the bathroom. The steam from the hot shower enveloped me, offering a brief respite from the turmoil inside. I stood under the water, letting it wash away the remnants of sleep and the sorrow that threatened to overwhelm me. I shaved the stubble that had begun to grow on my face, each stroke of the razor a small act of control in a life that felt increasingly out of my grasp.After drying off, I ran a towel through my hair, the repetitive motion soothing in its simplicity. My phone buzzed on the counter, a message from my mother lighting up the screen. With a sense of resignation, I picked it up and read the text.Mother: Come over for dinner to