"Are we friends?" I ask, my voice a decibel above a whisper.He nods and eases me forward until my chest rests against his, until our noses graze. My breath leaves me quick and shallow as anticipation builds in my veins, mixing dangerously with the lust he stirs. "Good friends."Our lips brush and he holds us there, barely kissing, as he smooths his giant palms along my thighs to my backside. Seth tightens his grip, holding my pelvis firm to his. His desire swells beneath me, too rigid for me to ignore his intentions. "Friends do this all the time," I say, convincing myself that this isn't anything more than what it is; a friendly moment. "Right?"Seth nods. "Yeah. All the time." He crushes his lips to mine, catching me off guard. A strangled moan leaves my throat as he plunges his tongue into my mouth and kisses me with wild abandon. He claws at my blouse, tugging at buttons, and opening them with ease. He shoves the fabric down my arms and holds me around my waist, feeling the cur
He swears and lifts his body off me. Releasing my wrists, he reaches between us and pushes on his jeans, shoving them down his thighs. His hard, thick arousal presses against my center, and I still, sobering once more. Seth settles against me, using his big thighs to push my legs wide open. I swallow hard as he touches his lips to the shell of my ear, his breath ragged and heavy."I'll be careful," he murmurs, and I nod.I trust him. Seth slides his hand into the nape of my neck and presses his lips to mine. I melt into him, running my hands over his incredible physique, enjoying the heat of his skin as it gathers in my palms. With his free hand, he fists himself and drags the tip of his cock through my wetness, up and down, making it slip so easily. He flicks his tongue over my lower lip, coaxing me into opening my mouth to him. I part my lips and his tongue is right there, pushing into my mouth as he inhales and breaches my entrance with the head of his cock. I inhale sharply, and he
Exhaling, I shut the door of the taxi and walk up my parent's drive. I peer up at the orange and red sunset as it casts a warm, beautiful glow over my parent's one-story house. I can't help but inhale the cool, Portland air and smile as I open the familiar white gate, stepping through to the rocky pathway. Pebbles crunch beneath my feet, a sensation forgotten once the smell of shepherd's pie and roast vegetables wafts up my nose.I walk along the pathway and stomp up the wooden stairs and across the porch. I knock on the door and wait. A heartbeat later, Mom is ripping the door open and beaming widely at me."Darling!" she greets, pulling me into a hug that smells of basil and salt. "You know you don't have to knock here."I bury my face in her short, chocolate curls as I hug her back. "I know."Pulling away, she takes me by the wrist and drags me into the house, smiling gleefully at my ugly sweater. She loves it. She loves the mustard-colored ruffles and the white stripes around the e
I smooth my palms down the front of my tight black dress, fingering the folds in the fabric as I go. The expensive black fabric wraps tight around my body and clings high on my thighs. The tiny, thin straps hold the dress over my bra-less breasts, but the neckline dips deep. It's the only dress of its kind I own. Long forgotten, I found this impulse buy hidden far in the back of my wardrobe and away from Blade's prying eyes. It still had the price tag on it and Blade hated when I spent money on expensive clothes. So, I hid it to avoid conflict. Wearing it reminds me why I bought it. It was breathtaking on the mannequin and when I tried it on I felt sexy. Good to know time hasn't changed that.I sit on the edge of my bed and slide my feet into a pair of black stilettos that aren't mine, but match the dress perfectly-thanks, Selena. I just manage to get the last buckle clasped around my ankle when there's a firm knock on my bedroom door."Come in," I call, lifting myself off the bed, exp
Seth parks in Heaven's designated parking lot and we walk around to the front door. The air outside is way too cold for the dress I chose and my feet are already killing me. His friends are pumped. They run their mouths about what drinks they're going to drink, and dancing and girls. All I can think about is crawling back into my nice warm bed.Seth leads us past the queue and up to the robust security guard manning the front door."Seth Marc! It's been a long time!"While they catch up, I peer into the nightclub trying to catch a glimpse of how busy it is. A second later the guard steps aside, letting all of us into the club."He was nice," I shout at Seth and he bends, bringing his ear closer to my mouth, smoothing his hand up my back. "I said he was nice. Is it safe to assume you haven't slept with his girlfriend? Or maybe he just hasn't found out yet?"Seth laughs and it's a deep, hearty laugh I barely hear over the noise. He cranes his head to speak in my ear. "You're hurting your
I open my mouth to apologize to the woman I attacked and extend my hand to help her up, but strong arms seize my waist and I'm lifted off the floor. "Time to go," Seth shouts, and I whip my head in Selena's direction. She thrashes her long legs as Jackson throws her over his shoulder and hauls ass after us. People stare and part as Seth carries me out of the room and down the stairs, like I'm as light as a handbag in his hold.I close my eyes, hoping the bout of adrenaline-induced nausea that courses through me stops. I've never felt so awful. I can't believe I physically assaulted someone. In the face.I don't open my eyes until the fresh night air cools my burning skin."Wasn't expecting you to hit her," Seth says, still carrying me like a doll. I groan, my knuckles thumping. "I don't know what came over me. I thought she was going to hit Selena and I just...I reacted. What the hell was I thinking?" "You weren't thinking." He sets me down on the sidewalk and I wobble on shaky le
My eyelids flutter, then close again. I drag my tongue along the roof of my mouth and smack my dry lips together. Ick. My mouth is a desert. My brain thumps in my skull, a gift left by the shots I drank last night. Opening one eye, I blink until the blurry lines of the world sharpen. Yawning, I haphazardly reach for the water bottle on my nightstand. I unscrew the lid and sip it. It wets my tongue and stimulates my saliva, but it doesn't help the dehydrated state of my body. I swallow and the sensation makes my bladder constrict. I squeeze my thighs together to ease the tightening feeling, but it doesn't help. Replacing the lid on my bottle, I drop it to the floor and slip from the bed, careful not to wake Seth. I scoop his crumpled blue shirt from the floor and pull it over my head as I tiptoe from the room. When I return, Seth is sitting up, my sheets low on his naked hips, so low his muscular thigh juts out. He blinks at me, then points at the alarm clock on my bedside."Do you know
After breakfast, Seth drops me home to get ready for Concord. He continues on with Jackson and Selena, promising to pick me up in a couple of hours. Without ceremony, I let them go, desperate for some alone time after the morning I've had. Lucky for me, the mechanic I called yesterday arrives at the same time and immediately gets to work fixing my car. While he does that, I climb the stairs and enter my apartment. In the silence, Blade's little red box burns a hole in the leg of my jeans. I pluck it from my pocket and sit on the edge of the couch. I hold it in my palm, cautious as if it's going to pop open, like a jack in a box. Or explode, like a grenade.It creaks as I open it.I stare at the ostentatious white and red diamonds nestled on top of a multi-layer white gold band, then slam the box shut and toss it onto the couch beside me. Rage laces around my midsection and squeezes, like a corset. How dare he spend money on this. How dare he give it to me. I stand up and storm to the b
I push away from the heavy bag with a sigh, then drag an inhale in through my nose. My lungs burn, and my arms feel like stones. I pluck the towel from my shoulder and swipe it over my face. I've been slamming my fists into this bag of sand for the last hour, waiting for Olivia to finish cleaning the gym. There's no one left, the doors are locked, the blinds drawn, but she insists on having everything in top shape for when it opens in the morning.I can't say I don't enjoy watching her walk around the place with a determined little pout on her lips, because I do. I enjoy it so damn much.Blowing air from my lips, I lean against the ropes of the boxing ring. She does another round, picking up a missed towel here and there. I track her every step, my shorts growing tighter every time she bends over. Eventually, she enters my area of the gym.She doesn't pay me any attention.And it drives me crazy."Olivia," I call out, and she whips her head in my direction, her perfect, long hair whirl
I sit in my car outside Mom's house, gripping my steering. I stare at the quaint little home nestled somewhere in the middle of Sparrow Road and dread burrows deep. If I walk through those doors, I'll be alone in the house for the first time since Dad's death. The thought is isolating.Chase left for Pakistan this morning and Mom is spending alone time in a hideaway cabin in the hills. The house will be quiet. And I'll be alone.Loneliness has been the theme of my life for more days than I can count. I miss Dad. I miss Seth. It gets harder to pin Seth down with a phone call with every passing day. He calls me and I miss it. I call him back and he misses it. By the time we catch each other, he's exhausted and sleeping on the other end of the line before I can ask him how he is. He asks me to join him in every city he lands in, but I haven't had the heart to leave Mom alone, especially now Chase is gone.Releasing the wheel, I sit back against my seat with a sigh. The vermilion afternoon
With a shake of his arms, Seth tilts his head to the ceiling, exposing the thick column of his throat, and he closes his eyes. His chest falls as he lets out a long, slow breath. What I wouldn't give to know what he's thinking. Is he nervous? Scared? Neither?A small eternity later, the referee calls both the men to the middle of the ring. He demands a good, clean fight, then sends them back to their corner. With a clap of his hands, the fight begins.Seth plays it cool, each step premeditated and predatory. Don, however, goes in guns blazing. Shooting forward, and swallowing up the distance, Don swings hard and fast, his fists flying through the air like sledgehammers. He wants to make sure that, if he connects, Seth won't get back up.I yank my blanket from Chase and pull it up to my chin. I clench my teeth together. My fingers twitch with the urge to hide under the blanket until it's over, but I told Seth I'd watch the fight.And I want to watch it......but only if Don gets what he
I startle, sitting upright on the couch as the T.V. changes from the live stream loading screen to the emerald exterior of Las Vegas's MGM Grand. "Shhhh!" I shush Chase mid-story about some girl he met when he was stationed in Afghanistan by clamping my palm over his face and pushing him away. I've already heard the story twice. He's in love with her but doesn't know it. "It's starting!" On the screen, cars zip by, and people flood the streets, milling about like ants. "It's an eight-man fighting format," the commentator says as the camera phases into the arena. "The winner receives one hundred thousand dollars, a professional contract with the MMAC, and the title of Amateur Champion."They continue to discuss the layout of the championship and I tune it out. I'm too distracted by the grandiosity of it all as the camera pans over tens of thousands of roaring people, seated around the cage, ready for the fight. "It's a big deal, isn't it?" Chase muses between chomps of buttered popc
"What are you doing out here?" I ask. How long has he been out here? Blush gathers in my cheeks at the thought of him hearing the things I said about him. About us."Hiding from Darryl." Seth lowers his hands and straightens. The way he holds himself with such confidence is breathtaking. "Saving you from your asshole ex. Again." I sigh and turn toward the swing. I sit down on it and pat the space beside me. Seth looks up at the worn branch while shrugging out of his jacket. "That's not going to hold me." I glance up, then at Seth. If he weighs every bit of the two-hundred pounds Chase claims he does, then I suppose it won't. I shift into the middle of the plank as Seth steps forward and drapes his jacket over my shoulders. The fabric envelops me and I melt into its warmth, into its crisp citrus and sandalwood scents. "I saw him follow you out here," Seth says, rolling up the sleeves of his fitted, black formal shirt. Each twist of the fabric reveals an inch of, perfect ropy muscle
After the funeral, Mom invites over as many people as she can fit into her home for refreshments. They come in droves and I'm too tired to entertain, but I do it anyway. I accept condolences and hugs with grace and enthusiasm and I mingle with relatives I haven't seen since I was a child, relatives who live on the other side of the country. I keep Seth in my peripheral the whole time, wanting nothing more than to be spending this time with him since he flew all this way on the eve of his championship match. I want his touch, his comfort, and maybe that's selfish, but after the day I've had...I just want to be coddled. Chase keeps Seth out of my reach and insists on interrogating him under the guise of friendly conversation. I've tried to save him, but I can barely move a foot before I'm swept up by someone else. I wonder if Seth thinks I'm avoiding him, or can he feel my aura pining for his? Can he feel every cell in my being pushing against my skin, willing me in his direction? I hop
Funerals happen a lot quicker than I imagined they would. This is the first time I've been at the helm of planning one and I didn't realize I'd be expected to make sensible and coherent decisions while drowning in an ocean of grief. I thought I'd have more time to come to terms with the fact my father has passed. I thought I'd wake up from this nightmare by now.To make matters worse, Seth is in Vegas. His schedule didn't allow a trip back to Portland for Dad's funeral. He demanded the MMAC approve his request for a twenty-four-hour leave, but they declined it because Dad wasn't immediate family. The championship fight is tomorrow night and it's a risk they can't take. And I get it. It just sucks. He's been so busy we've barely spoken. He calls me after midnight every night, but we fall asleep before the conversation goes anywhere. I miss him."Shit," I swear as the zipper of my dress eludes me for the millionth time.It sits between my shoulder blades, where I can't reach, taunting me
We pull up outside my parents' home and I cast my gaze over the property. It looks exactly as it did when I left Portland and I don't know why that surprises me. I don't know why I expected it to be any different. The glow of the sitting room light filters through the cracks in the curtains and I suck air deep into my lungs. Mom's awake.Dad's truck sits in the drive and sticks me like a knife in the heart. I glance at Selena who's looking at it too. She clears her throat, casting her attention to the road."Should I come with?"I nod, not wanting to be left alone with the tornado of emotion undoubtedly waiting for me on the other side of the front door. "Yeah, come with me."We exit the car and make our way to the front porch, Selena dragging my suitcase behind us. My palms grow clammy with every step, my heart racing. What's waiting for me inside? I grab Selena's hand and thread my fingers through hers. She wraps her arm across her body and holds the inside of my elbow. I lean on her
I lie on the bed for a while, thinking about my brother, Chase. Does he even know? Will he have time to attend his father's funeral? I think about it for hours, it feels like. In and out of focus, of exhaustion, of grief, I remain on the bed, my mind too tired to process whether or not I've slept. I must have because the next voice I hear zipping up the stairs is female."Where is she?" Shoes hit the stairs and I shoot up in bed as Selena tears through the door, her pretty face displaying every thread of grief she feels. "Olivia?"Seeing her brings memories flooding back and I burst into tears all over again. Selena rushes over to the bed and climbs on, drawing me into her hoodie-clad arms. We fall against the mattress, our limbs intertwined."I can't believe it." She sniffles, her chest vibrating as she combs her fingers through my hair. "I can't believe it, O.""He's gone," I sob. "And I don't know what I'm supposed to do.""You'll know once you get home." She holds me for a while lo