4

~Avila

I clear my throat, shifting uncomfortably.

This isn't how I wanted to meet my future husband. I've got dirt and blood on me, and he stands amidst the shadows like they bleed from him.

"So...You're him," I let out, trying not to take a wary step backwards.

He raises his brows. "Him?”

It's frightening, knowing that he knows more about me than I know about myself. There was a whole life I lived before dying, and I'm the only one not privy to it.

“The man I’m supposed to be marrying," I breathe.

My gaze drifts down to his hand. No ring. Maybe it isn't confirmed that we are still to be married. I mean, what if in the time that I was gone, he moved on.

I wouldn't blame him...

He takes a step toward me, his hands gliding into his pockets.

What I've deduced so far is that he's an intense person, and I've only been in his company for a few minutes. His gaze hasn't shifted from me since he stopped trying to see what I was chasing after. I'm not even sure those steely grey eyes have blinked.

“So it’s true, then. You’ve lost your memory," he murmurs.

“I didn’t lose my memory. I died," I say flatly.

He exhales softly, his jaw tightening. I've officially decided he's much more handsome in person than he is in the photo.

I realise, in the back of my mind, that I can count on one hand how many faces I've seen since waking in the tomb. However, there is no way his beauty isn't otherworldly. I can see it in his stature, in his hollowed cheeks and straight jaw.

“Yes, you did die." He says it uncomfortably, still confused on how I'm standing here. “And now you’re alive.”

“You sound disappointed.”

He frowns a little. “No. I’m just…trying to comprehend that I’m seeing you, Avila, standing in front of me alive.”

I smile awkwardly. “I’m definitely alive.”

I’m not sure how I’m supposed to act in this situation. He’s a stranger to me, but I am not one to him. I’m not sure how he expects me to act, what he expects me to say.

We were to be married. We must be lovers, in his mind.

“If you told me I’m dreaming, I would believe you,” he sweeps his hand through his hair, the moonlight casting an ethereal glow over him.

I look toward the manor that rears up into the night, wondering if being out here alone with Vade is forbidden. I can’t quite grasp the customs here, the rules, but something feels wrong about standing alone in the dark with him.

“You look different to the photo I was shown…” I note, biting the edge of my lip shamelessly.

His mouth settles into a grim line. “A lot has changed in the six months since your death. I had to rebuild my life.”

I draw in a soft breath. He doesn’t reveal much emotion, but I can garner enough from the look in his eyes that it wasn’t an easy time for him.

“And now you’re forced to marry me again.”

A muscle in his jaw ticks. “Mmm. So it seems.”

My gaze flickers down to my bare feet, covered in dew and cut grass. He’s made it abundantly clear he doesn’t want to marry me, that he has no feelings from me.

Of course he doesn’t, this has all been arranged.

“You’re a complete stranger to me, and yet I’m meant to marry you,” I say aloud. I don’t really mean for him to hear it, I just feel the need to say it.

He shrugs. “I know enough about you. Marriages have been made up of less.”

“What was I like?” I ask tentatively.

His gaze skates over my body as if he is struggling to quantify all my attributes. My skin heats at the attention, at his cool, attentive eyes.

“Secretive, cunning and often mean."

My eyes raise, not expecting such a description of myself. “Oh…”

He looks away, his brows furrowing together. “You didn’t like me. You hated that our union has been decided since birth, so you chose to punish me for it often in hopes I would pull out…as if that were an option for any of us.”

I shudder, a cold feeling burying into the depths of my stomach. Was I truly so mean?

He could be lying, but what would he gain from that? I just can't imagine how I could be capable of punishing someone for something they can't control.

Then again, I clearly don't know myself at all...maybe I am capable of that.

“So we weren’t in love?” I ask breathily.

He laughs. “No. Far from it.”

“I hate that you remember more about me than I do. I hate that I don’t even know yourself,” I snap, throwing my arms up. I feel ready to rip my hair out with frustration.

Vade’s eyes are frosty. “Perhaps you should look to the future instead of looking back. You weren’t a person many would admire.”

My expression falls.

“My mother told me my people greatly admired me.”

“That’s because they didn’t know you,” he says flatly. “And your mother enjoyed your personality because it reflected her own.”

My mouth falls open a little. What is with this guy? Honesty doesn’t seem to be very difficult for him, and I can’t decide if that’s a good or bad trait. Especially in a future husband.

“I can’t decide if you say your opinion decidedly, or if you’re just cruel,” I mutter, taking a healthy step back from him.

“Perhaps both.”

He turns away, deciding I’m not worth speaking to anymore. I’m not sure why, but a spike of panic rears up within me.

“Vade,” I call out. “Wait.”

He tips his head back, letting out a sigh before he turns around again.

“I want to be on good terms. I mean, at least decent terms,” I say quickly. The last thing I want to do is be entirely alone here with no one to turn to.

Whether he wants to admit it or not, he cares enough about me to make sure I don’t run off into the forest alone.

“I have no problem with you,” he states, stepping closer, forcing all the breath from my lungs. “But stay out of my way.”

“What’s to say you weren’t the mean one?” I fold my arms over my chest.

He’s so close suddenly the tips of his shoes press against my bare toes. He bends down slightly, looking over me.

“I tried for months, years to please you,” he breathes, tense lines forming above his brows. “I’m not going to be hurt again.”

My eyelids shutter. Oh.

“My memory is gone. I’m not who I once was,” I remind him softly. I don’t have any reason to hate him, to resent him. The thought of being married to him is daunting, but everything facing me is.

The promise of someone being near me, having to care for me and be my partner doesn't sound so bad.

“It’s in your blood.”

“I’m scared. I’m scared and alone and I can’t trust anyone because I don’t know anyone. And now I’m to be married to you, and it’s too much for me to handle,” I blurt out, not caring if I seem erratic.

His eyes widen a little as he stares down at me, stunned.

“What?” I ask warily.

He shakes his head a little. “My apologies. It’s just, you’ve never spoken to me about your feelings before.”

“Oh.” That's depressing.

If I didn't look for comfort in Vade, where did I go? Did I have someone else I was interested in? Roel and Crimson didn't tell me so, although they haven't told me much. What about friends? My past will surely catch up to me eventually.

“Just follow your instincts around here. Just don’t be led astray, okay?” He instructs, glancing back over my shoulder toward the forest.

I follow his gaze, frowning. “Who would lead me astray?”

“Why don’t you keep away from the woods. Who knows what dwells out there," he mutters, turning away again.

This time he doesn’t hang around to make sure I follow him. I do though, but not before taking one last look behind me.

A chill creeps across my skin. Something is out there.

I know it.