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I have no fucking clue why this particular porn channel is on my TV, it’s not one I even watch, and I can guess Tom and his new woman, when they used my apartment last month, have something to do with it. Never again will I let a guy use my pad as a weekend bang hang out when I am out of town. Never again will I allow Sophs control of the remote if this is the kind of shit she can fumble across by accident. I throw my palm over her eyes in a bid to protect her from further viewing, cursing under my breath that she’s endured this much.
“For the love of god.” I internally sink. Sophie looks traumatized and I groan as I slide the remote out of her little hand, flicking the channel to a movie I was watching last week instead. I want to just rewind all this crap from Sophs head and delete it. The thought of her watching, doing, anything like that shit, has me all messed up inside; a mix of genuine paternal love and a lot of possible jealousy, all at the sam
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Arrick’s POV~ Sophie in THAT dress ~I’m sitting on the couch, waiting for Sophs to hurry up and get dressed so we can leave already. I have no idea what possessed me to down two straight vodka’s while waiting on her, but I’m lightheaded and slightly off keel with the effects and regret it now. I figured a shot or two would relax me for tonight, but all it seems to have done is send me out of whack and my head is all over the place.My body is overly warm and tingly, crazily so, considering I’m a seasoned drinker and it shouldn’t affect me this way. Although, I guess over the last couple of years, I haven’t really drunk like I did, and tend to stop after a couple of beers. I can thank Natasha for my tolerance going to shit, her incessant nagging whenever I got drunk made it that I tended to stop after a couple, and now I am suffering the consequences.We’re going out to celebrate Colin&r
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Instead focus on my little feisty girl, that I couldn’t love more if I tried. I love winding her up in every way, just to pull out a reaction. She is one of the least feminist rights girls I know, but she does like to maintain her right to do as she pleases, regardless of sex.“Mm, hmmm.” I press my lips together, holding in the urge to smile when she looks completely enraged and aims another slap my way. “Hey! I was agreeing with you.” I catch her hand mid-air, warmed by the jokiness between us and bend in impulsively, so intent on silencing that stroppy little mouth with wickedness. I pull her in against me as I tilt my head to get really close, still torn between aching to kiss her, and trying to be a gentleman where she is always concerned.Drink is killing me with the amorous urges, but I am still too sober to bypass the side of me who cares too much, so I end up close, but not going through with it. I do however get a buzz from being
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Arrick’s POV~ Watching Sophie dance with Natasha ~“Here, you look like you need these” Nate pushes the tray of shots between us on the high table by the window, overlooking the dancefloor and I smile his way weakly. I feel like hell, already drunk and intend to get more so.“And the rest.” I raise my brows in defeat and down the five Jaeger Bombs in a row he has bought for me, before washing away the taste with a beer and pray to god the alcohol hits fast and kills this agony I’m feeling tonight. Restless, head a mess and sometimes I curse this brain of mine for how it operates. Jake got my dad’s decisive mind and arrogant attitude in most things; I got my mom’s caring brain and worry wart nature.For the most part I don’t mind it, but in this, it sucks like hell and if I were Jake, I probably would already be shacked up in bed with whatever girl did it for me the most. I know which one
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I’ll hurt her; I’ll inflict pain on my girl in the worst possible way. But then, it’s not the same kind of pain. We have never really begun, and her love for me isn’t exactly clear cut, or black and white in the slightest. We have never explored it at all, and it could be nothing more than a dependency because of her past, because of what I have been to her when she needed that strength in someone else, and we might not even work. There is no guarantee that moving us from this to lovers would be successful, in fact, the last weeks have shown me that adding love and lust to this mix makes Sophie and I fight a hell of a lot more than we ever did. That we’re being hauled apart by it.We have a bond that runs deep, and I should leave it alone, keep what we have and not chance losing us for some sexual gratitude and what ifs. I need to work on getting us past this, without altering or ruining what we have. She needs me to be the friend I have always b
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Arrick’s POV~ Saving Sophie in the club ~I wander around the crowd looking for Sophie; agitated, uptight and messed up royally. I told Natasha we should start again, slowly, see how it goes. Back to dating and taking baby steps to see if we can salvage what we used to have so, for right now, I’m still single technically but just that we now have to start seeing one another romantically.She agreed that we’ve become distant and stale and if we start with the small steps towards finding our passion again, then maybe we can fix what we once had. It all sounded good at the time, to begin with, but that clawing doubt and indecision was soon pushing me to down shots in a bid to get my shit together. Head consumed with Sophie’s absence, and pain biting at me to go find her and kick shit out of any guy that is occupying her down there.On paper it would all look mature, hopeful, and right, yet here I am, fucked up, feeling
The Carrero Heart (series book 2) 214
Sophie grabs my wrist and tries to yank me to the side, but I cannot tear my eyes from her. I want to tell her I made a mistake, that she is who I want, that she is all I can even think about. I want to wipe away the memory of that asshole on her body, and replace it with memories of kissing her softly, cherishing her always. No one should ever touch her, except me.“Natasha.” She snaps at me and slaps my hands down from her face harshly, bringing my focus back to reality again. I tear my eyes from her and glance up as I see Tasha heading our way, looking completely non-plussed and again the accompanying guilt is like a constant shadow with her, and wracks me to the bone and almost smashes me in the skull. Nothing hits home and drills to my shame brain, like Natasha’s appearance.It makes me feel shit for even thinking what I just did. That same doubt and uncertainty hitting me with equal force, and I sigh hard. So much for fucking choosing.&l
The Carrero Heart (series book 2) 215
Arrick’s POV~ After the nightclub ~I sink back on the couch and stare into the semi darkness, cradling my second coffee since we got back here, and try like hell to sober myself up. Head swimming and sinking slowly into the softness of my couch, while trying to get a grip on reality. All I have done since we got home is sit here and try to pull all the shit in my head back together. Try to make sense of the entire night that pretty much went to crap from the moment I downed the first vodka.Drink and I are not friends right now, and if I have any chance of salvaging anything, then I need to sober up fast. Sophie is in the shower, she headed there as soon as we got back, and I sat here waiting for her. I need to talk to her, to figure some of this out and I have no clue what to do. Tonight, taught me a couple of things.One. That drunk, I feel about Sophie the way she feels about me and I want her in every way; physically, menta
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Arrick’s POV~ Letting Sophie go ~I lay on my bed staring at the ceiling of my room. I haven’t moved from this spot all night, still fully dressed and unable to even get up and function. The weight in my chest is almost holding me in place, crushing me with the pain, and I can’t stop running last night through my mind endlessly. I’m restless, torn, scrunching my fingers in my hair like I can rip this out of my head. The worst sort of agony that surpasses all.I want to go to her room and see her, but I can’t. I can’t get her out of my head, even though she is only feet away and it’s torturing me.I kissed Sophie... I did more than kiss her, and it felt good, it felt right. It made me feel a thousand things about her that I can’t even begin to analyze, comprehend how to, and all it did was make everything fall apart even more than it was, especially when Natasha showed up and slapped me back to
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