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2024-10-29 19:42:56He helps me pack my things back into my bag silently. We had lain in silence, just entwined, until the pilot called to inform us the jet would be ready for take-off by the time we got to the airfield. He watches me steadily but leaves me alone with my thoughts, he knows I won’t talk about this anymore. The wall is up on the matter and I’m already filing it into the back of my head with all the other crap I never want to face. I won’t bring it up again, much like I never bring Marissa up. He knows me well enough to leave it alone, now that he seems to finally understand how I tick inside.
I feel like a complete failure. I’m numb from over thinking, pushing it all back into the recess of my mind, back into that little black box with the rest of my heartache and terrors.
Back with the child who used to cry herself to sleep in fear of her bedroom door creaking open in the darkness.
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The Carrero Effect 163
The greenhouse is massive, more like a glass palace, full to bursting with flowers and bushes everywhere we turn, the scents strong and heady and blocking out most of the lower windows. It’s so hot it’s like a tropical jungle and Jake pulls me against him from behind, so my ass nestles his crotch, showing me how turned on he already is, and I giggle.“You haven’t even touched me yet.” I laugh as his hand skirts up my dress, cupping my breast.“I don’t need too, just looking is enough.” He catches my hair from behind with his free hand, tugging it back to reveal my neck to him so he can move in and devour me. I instantly lose all willpower, my body sagging back into him, his teeth toying with my jaw line and throat seductively. His hand on my breast, moves down my dress pulling it up and disappears under to find my lace panties.“Baby, you’re already so wet.” He groans into my ear in unison with me
The Carrero Effect 164
“You two look very relaxed.” Sylvana points out, standing by her kitchen island making a salad as we enter, my body flushes seven shades of morbid embarrassment. Jake mock frowns at me and leans in to whisper for my ears only.“There’s no hiding what you’ve been up to is there?” His mouth lingering seductively by my ear and I give him an elbow jab to move him away. Luckily, Sylvana seems oblivious or at least has the good grace to pretend she is.“We had a little stroll in the greenhouse and the garages.” He answers his mother smoothly, no hint of shame in his voice or manner. I keep my face down so my hair hides my hues of pink skin, heating all over.“Oh, my roses are looking beautiful today, I only watered them this morning, that’s if you noticed the flowers, of course.” She beams at us and I catch a knowing look in her eye which only makes me want the floor to open up and take me.Jake
The Carrero Effect 165
Jake stills over me, bracing himself on his arms, biceps straining impressively. His naked skin has a soft sheen of moisture and is glistening at me from inches above my own nakedness. I’m heated, tingling and tired and yet outraged he has stopped.“What’s wrong, bambino?” His intense gaze dissecting my face, his breathing rapid. I wriggle impatiently, unimpressed with his sudden halt.“Nothing …What are you doing?” I stay nestled in the pillows watching him in confusion. My heart rate still elevated and my breathing shallow.“Baby, we have been having sex for the best part of a half hour and I haven’t made you cum once … That’s unheard of for you … I’m starting to feel a little more than inadequate.” He pulls off me, indicating he’s not going to continue.“Jake, don’t stop … It still feels better than good.” I pout, trying to pul
The Carrero Effect 166
“You’re putting up with so much crap from her and running to LA for all of this,” I retort. “How can she say that you’re not invested?”“You really want to know?” He looks at me warily. “You never ask about any of this.” He watches me carefully. I bite on my lip, and twirl my hair nervously, everything in me wanting to push this topic away and clamp shut, but the way he’s looking at me stills me. He lifts his hand to mine, cupping it slowly and pulls my fingers from my hair with a frown. He keeps my hand in his yet uses his thumb to stroke my cheek.“I want to talk to you about this, but not if it’s going to upset you.” He finally admits but I stay still, looking intently at him. My heart racing erratically.“I need to stop pretending it’s not happening.” I finally let out quietly and watch the indecision flit across his face. He knows I won’t lead the con
The Carrero Effect 167
Entering the dining room so late in the morning feels like a huge giveaway as to what we’ve been doing but I’m glad to see it’s absolutely deserted. Jake’s walking behind me with his hands on my shoulders and is much more relaxed, he’s practically horizontal now, his mood is so mellow. I guess finally making me orgasm multiple times has him in a much better mood, all my inner thoughts and emotions no longer a hurdle when he started making love to me again. In fact, his confessions had only made me extra responsive to his touch and barely able to last minutes before the first waves had overtaken me.He kisses me on the back of the head before letting go and taking my hand to lead me to a sunny breakfast room laid with bowls and cereal. Almost as soon as we sit a maid comes in bringing us hot plates of pancakes, eggs, sausages, and bacon and a fresh bowl of sliced fruit. He doesn’t even acknowledge the girl, but I smile warmly at her with tha
The Carrero Effect 168
“Regardless to whether you do or don’t, I told you we had reshuffled our job roles. This is just an informality required by legal.” He leans down kissing me on the temple before moving off with the rest of his papers to the table and sitting down. Picking up both the credit card and the contract, I walk over and toss them down in front of him, folding my arms stubbornly.You will not buy me or control me this way!“I do not require any more money or a new title. This says I’m your VP … Your second in command?”“Well, you’re already that. Time you got paid for it, and some recognition.” He’s already flicking through papers and trying to dismiss me.I don’t think so!“Jake, first, you don’t even let me go to work anymore so I shouldn’t be getting paid anything at all!” I snap haughtily. “And second, everyone in the building will th
The Carrero Effect 169
Just great!I like Arrick’s girlfriend, I guess, she’s sweet and shy and despite being maybe five years younger than me it’s striking how similar we look. Both with tawny hair, highlighted to blonde in waves, both small and busty with soft gray blue eyes. I guess the Carrero brothers have a type. The only obvious difference I can see is she seems incredibly shy and mousy whereas I’m more of a silent, outwardly confident type by manufacture. She shadows me to the loungers and seems relieved to get a seat right beside me on the double bed.Jake and Arrick strip off across the other side of the pool, so different in build. Arrick is athletic and young with a lot of lean muscle to his frame whereas Jake is all hard ridges, muscle, and manliness. There is a lot more of him next to his smaller sibling. He throws me a look and a smile that screams ‘game on’ and then dives expertly into the water, closely followed by his equally stu
The Carrero Effect 170
“You don’t think it looks skimpy and kind of slutty?” I evaluate myself in the mirror in the smallest red two piece I’ve ever seen and feel completely self-conscious. I’m not against a bikini, Jake’s seen me in them plenty of times, but this is borderline indecent. Somehow, while still covering all the necessary areas it has managed to lift up and push my cleavage into something most impressive, my stomach and hips look longer and leaner when edged with the low-cut briefs which seem to sculpt my lower half too. She has put me in high heeled red sandals to complete the look and my legs look endless.“Trust me, it suits you very much.” She gushes, coming behind me and tucking my hair back from my face before applying a little bronzer to my cheeks and between my breasts. “You have gorgeous body … You work out? I think you should keep it, suits you much more.” Her heavily accented English is almost sensual, and I&
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The Carrero Influence ~ The Dance ~ Jake shifted in his seat for the millionth time and tried once more to get his brain to focus on the laptop on the highly polished walnut surface. He just couldn’t keep himself on track lately. The sound of a female clearing her throat startled him to look up and the impatient stance of Margo waving a piece of paper with a raised eyebrow suggested she had been talking to him while he was zoned out. “Sorry. What?” He frowned and sighed heavily, pushing himself back into his molded leather chair and rolled up his shirt sleeves in agitation. “For God’s sake, Jacob. I’ve been here for three minutes talking at you. You need to just bloody well call her.” Margo’s stern tone did nothing to help his current mood, and he just shifted forward again to try to ignore that intent, chastising glare. He went to his laptop, ducking his head in an attempt to dodge her blue eyes and typed something aimlessly. “Don’t k
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The Carrero Influence~ The Elevator Scene ~Jake walked out of the boardroom meeting without any clue as to what he had just sat and endured for the last hour. Margo had been glaring his way and nudging him with her foot under the table every few minutes and making him all the more aware of how ‘out of it’ he was. He had been this way ever since his father’s email had come in, informing him that Emma was back in his building; Back within reach and he had no idea how to handle it. He didn’t know if he should be happy or panicked that he could just see her around his building again, he wasn’t sure how the hell to feel about it but couldn’t deny the slight feeling of hope in his chest that he could bump into her.If he was being honest, he hadn’t had his head in the game for weeks, not since he had sent her away and today was just another prime example of how ‘not well’ he was doing without her in his life.
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The Carrero Effect~ The Holiday: Part 2 ~Jake was searching under the water, too dark to see anything and scrambling with his hands at anything that felt like it could be Daniel. Panic gripping his stomach as he frantically surfaced for air and dove again. He had hit the water without a thought the second he knew Danny was in here. No cares that he was maybe too drunk for this and just endlessly searching despite his muscles aching and being so heavy he could barely move anymore. It felt like it had been hours instead of minutes and he still hadn’t found him. He wouldn’t give up on him, he wouldn’t lose his best friend this way.Surfacing for air quicker this time he took a moment to drag more into his burning lungs and wipe the water from his eyes. He could hear yelling from the deck, crying from Leila and other voices but he was fully zoned-in on the surface of the water looking for any signs of him.“He’s here, Mr. Carre
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The Carrero Effect~ The Holiday: Part 1 ~Jake strolled into his apartment and threw his bag down on the couch. It had been a long trip and an even longer week, but he suddenly felt restless at being back. Normally, getting home brought him all kinds of joy, but this time it felt slightly empty, and he actually wished they’d stayed at that damn dance just so he could still be with her right now. Pacing to the window and looking out across the New York skyline he ran his hand through his hair and cracked his neck in a bid to release some of the tension building up his spine. Flexing his arms over his head and straining the jacket holding him tight. He needed to get out of this monkey suit they called a tux and get comfy, maybe he just needed to feel less business-like and properly relax. Maybe he needed a drink.He needed to stop fixating on Emma; it wasn’t healthy, and the constant stream of thoughts he had about her was getting harder to control. S
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I catch sight of some of my favorite women on the right-hand side of the aisle. Margo is wiping a tear from her eye and nudging Wilma in her side as both woman wave to me. They’re blowing their noses and crying as Donna throws tissues their way. My crazy trio of motherly hens. Donna’s mascara is pouring down her normally flawless face and I spot Rosalie wave from behind a very handsome man, grinning wildly and looping arms with him, a look of radiant happiness on her pretty face. I beam back at them with a tiny wave before moving on in time to the music, slow steps, with Giovanni leading the way.I catch sight of the Huntsbergers, my new extended family sitting close by and smile warmly at them. The row of adopted children and Huntsberger father looking so proud of his family. Ben and his baby son are near the end of the row. He’s is cuddling him proudly and looking every bit the doting dad. He is now the soul parent o
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“My son was in pain and hiding from what he wanted most,” he says so factually, looking down at me, “I put you back in his path, so he would stop being a coward.” Giovanni grins and all words leave my brain in an open-mouthed silent gawp; realization dawning on me so suddenly that I am literally rendered speechless.He sent me back to Carrero House? Making me believe that he was going to fire me if I didn’t … an ultimatum that led us to where we are now.Giovanni is admitting to maneuvering me back into Jake’s building, so we would end up back in each other’s arms, crafty jerk that he is. He giggles like a schoolboy at my obviously shocked expression and pats my hand tenderly over his inner elbow. That self-confident effortless look on a man who always sees all and knows everything.“No need to thank me, Emma.” He
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I smooth my hands down my ivory wedding dress. It’s classy elegance and understated top is lined with a simple sleeveless fitted bodice and tiny pearl detailing. It has a full wispy floating skirt, and layers and layers of chiffon puffing out to a full-length cloud of loveliness. It’s a fairy-tale princess dress and matches beautifully with the elegant engagement ring twinkling on my hand, sparkling in all its shining glory.I admire my flawless natural make-up in the mirror, touching up my nude lipstick. My tawny hair is wild and curled in its loose romantic style, tiny tendrils hang around my face and I appraise my reflection with pride.I look beautiful! I feel beautiful and serene. There is no fear whatsoever.I look like a woman hopelessly in love, about to marry the man of her dreams.I am that woman.I slide on my satin ivory stilettos that almost mirror the shoes I used to adore so much. It feels weird to be ba
The Carrero Effect 263
I am getting so frustrated at myself, my inner anger rears up. I’m surrounded by the song that gave me two of the happiest moments of my life, when he gave me his all, and yet here I am lying here, my sub-conscious holding me back from what I deserve. It’s like the beginning of our relationship all over again. I’m back to the defiant, closed-off Emma who never let him in, always holding back when he needed me most.No! I am not doing this to you, Jake. Not anymore, I won’t!The song is a reminder that he doesn’t always need to be my strength, but a prompt to show me that sometimes I need to be his too. I need to build my own force to find my way back. I need to hold him up and face whatever reality comes when my body wakes up. Maybe that’s why my mind doesn’t want me to wake up. It’s afraid that what Ray did to me will make me hide in the shadows again, that I won’t be able to love Jake and le
