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2024-10-29 19:42:56Returning to the room I climb into bed properly, stripping back to his T-shirt and pick up a book from my bedside table, some light-hearted romance Leila gave me that never piqued my interest back then. It’s not too late but it’s past seven, so going to bed isn’t exactly unheard of. It’s not long before my over exhausted mind drifts off mid-sentence.
* * *
“Baby, no!” Jake’s disappointed voice breaks into my sleepy state. “I had plans for you.” His voice is husky and thick but I’m too tired to open my eyes.
“I’m exhausted.” I sigh, enjoying his hands on my face, the heavy weight of his body on top of me, he smells good, a little too good.
“You’re such a lightweight, bambino … I’m going to have to build your stamina up.” He kisses me on the forehead and lifts off me. “I’m going down to the gym
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Crying in the shower makes so much sense.“I’ll miss you while I’m gone.” He smiles softly, bringing our heads together, the water from the shower still trickling over his hair and causing rivulets to run down his cheek onto my breasts in an almost mesmerizing pattern.“We haven’t slept apart since you told me you loved me,” I whisper shyly.“It’s been intentional.” He gazes at my mouth, a finger coming up to trace my lips slowly. “Don’t clam up on me, neonata … We should be talking about this.” He sees my expression tighten and backs off. My external bristle and cold mask connecting. Our eyes meet, and I catch the indulgent frown. “Okay, but we will talk about this at some point … The baby coming is inevitable. I know your instinct is to shut down and blank it but I’m not going to let you, not over this.” That stubborn set to his jaw a
The Carrero Effect 137
He opens it once he pulls the pants on and stops to talk to whoever is on the outside, keeping it closed enough to conceal the bedroom, conceal me in stages of undress. I can only hear mumbles. I wait with my towel around me, unsure if I should dress, unsure if he’ll come back to what we were doing. My body feels like liquid, I’m sure if I look in the mirror I’ll be glowing and flushed and showing signs of having been ravaged. I’m breathless as hell and overheated.He laughs, and it catches my attention. I love his laugh, it’s so deep and carefree and male, yet there’s a hint of boyishness to his normally husky tone when he laughs. I could close my eyes and listen to it forever.He shuts the door and turns around to see where I’ve gone, his gaze returning to lust when he catches me still draped in my skimpy covering. I’m surveying my clothes in the open cupboard in a bid to decide if I’m to get dressed or get back o
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The hotel restaurant is bustling despite the earliness of the day. Daniel was quick to invite a leggy blonde beauty to join us for breakfast and is currently trying to feed the poor bimbo strawberries, managing to drop most into her exposed cleavage and fish them out manually. It’s cringe worthy. Jake watches him with a serious frown creasing his brow and he eye rolls every time Daniel swoops in for another berry. We both know he’s using the girl as padding, so Jake won’t bring Leila, up again. That sweet bundle of blonde, Daniel is hopelessly in love with. Jake has pretty much got nowhere with him on that front.The girl giggles hopelessly, pretending to be embarrassed but the look on her face shows she isn’t shy about it at all. Jake looks down and starts flicking through his phone with one hand, answering messages from his little brother, coffee held in the other while I eat my pancakes beside him. We’ve been here around a half hour and conver
The Carrero Effect 139
“What exactly did his mother do to him?” I slide my arm through his now that he’s got both hands on his phone and rest my head against his shoulder. Looking up at him with wide-eyed, inquisitive adoration.“Let’s just say Daniel caught her in a lot of compromising positions from early in life with men who weren’t his father. She had time for affairs but never any time for her only kid or her actual husband. The boy has serious mommy issues that I don’t even think he understands, and he completely idolizes his father.”“So that’s why he surrounds himself with endless porn stars and one-night stands?” I blink in surprise, this little insight into a guy I thought was just a jerk and a sex addict. Maybe he has as many issues as me.“Daniel doesn’t trust women; he doesn’t have much respect for them either. He looks at them all the same way he looks at his mother. The guy needs therapy
The Carrero Effect 140
I giggle as Jake finally releases me from his arms in the changing cubicle, shaking my head at him in disbelief. My face must match the color of the dress I’m trying to retrieve from the floor. His eyes dark and wicked, buttoning up his shirt with a huge grin on his face as I try my hardest to get dressed without being knocked into the narrow walls, it’s so cramped in here.I can’t believe he managed to get me naked and have sex without knocking the feeble walls down.“Was this your plan from the word go? Claiming to need me in the changing room to admire your shirt choices.” I dart up at him while trying to get my bra straps on untwisted, he drops his shirt and instead straightens the strap on my shoulder, reaching behind me to help straighten it. He answers with a wolfish grin, dimples on display.Why am I even surprised by this? I should have known the second his hand ran under my skirt as we walked to the changing a
The Carrero Effect 141
“Over something like this, Emma, I’ll literally rip heads off.” He snaps at me, pure fury in those normally calm eyes and I lose my courage, his voice is venom. I flinch in fright as his hand grips my wrist harder. The inner fear of male aggression takes over, I reach up with my free hand and snatch back my underwear, hauling my hand free and shout at him impulsively.“You’ve a goddamn nerve! With the amount of conquests, you’ve had? … It was you! Jackass!” I snap and turn on my heel to storm away, tears instantly pricking my eyes. From our happy morning to this, I don’t even know how we got here. I feel like bawling.I should never play games with Jake; I learned a long time ago that it only ignites this side of him. Even before I was his, when I was just PA Emma, I saw this side of him when I tried to get a rise from him. Jake likes to be the on
The Carrero Effect 142
Jake pushes the cream cannelloni into my mouth, almost choking me with the amount he’s picked up from the plate. I struggle to push him away, stifling a giggle but he tries to ram it in further, close to choking me. I lift my hand and push him off, taking half out of my mouth and dropping it on the napkin in front of me, attempting to chew what’s already there. He stuffs some into his own mouth, seemingly oblivious to what he’s done to me.“What is this deal you have with ramming food in my mouth?” I finally say, shoving his shoulder playfully. He leans around attempting another go at pushing more into my mouth, but I turn away. “Jake!” I scold, pushing his hand back, he shrugs redirecting it into his own mouth instead.“Feeding you is part of taking care of you.” He smiles but I only look at him with disbelief.“There’s feeding someone … You know like sexily in the movies? And then there&r
The Carrero Effect 143
He’s going to see her; he’s going to stay away from New York and talk about his future with Marissa’s baby and I don’t want it to be happening.“Nora will come in and change the bed for you, bambino, she’ll make you dinner around five … Make sure you eat, okay?” He lingers over me, a look in his eye of reluctance. “I’ll be back before you know it … Don’t go to work tomorrow, stay here, and take some you time. I’ll call you, okay?”“Okay and okay.” I smile emptily, wrapping my arms around his neck one last time, pushing down all my inner upset before he slides up and waves. He grabs my foot at the end of the bed and strokes down my sole gently, causing me to flinch and giggle. He pauses, looking one more time as though he’s reluctant to leave then turns and goes. I think maybe he’s feeling it too, that trepidation at leaving me, at goi
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The Carrero Influence ~ The Dance ~ Jake shifted in his seat for the millionth time and tried once more to get his brain to focus on the laptop on the highly polished walnut surface. He just couldn’t keep himself on track lately. The sound of a female clearing her throat startled him to look up and the impatient stance of Margo waving a piece of paper with a raised eyebrow suggested she had been talking to him while he was zoned out. “Sorry. What?” He frowned and sighed heavily, pushing himself back into his molded leather chair and rolled up his shirt sleeves in agitation. “For God’s sake, Jacob. I’ve been here for three minutes talking at you. You need to just bloody well call her.” Margo’s stern tone did nothing to help his current mood, and he just shifted forward again to try to ignore that intent, chastising glare. He went to his laptop, ducking his head in an attempt to dodge her blue eyes and typed something aimlessly. “Don’t k
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The Carrero Influence~ The Elevator Scene ~Jake walked out of the boardroom meeting without any clue as to what he had just sat and endured for the last hour. Margo had been glaring his way and nudging him with her foot under the table every few minutes and making him all the more aware of how ‘out of it’ he was. He had been this way ever since his father’s email had come in, informing him that Emma was back in his building; Back within reach and he had no idea how to handle it. He didn’t know if he should be happy or panicked that he could just see her around his building again, he wasn’t sure how the hell to feel about it but couldn’t deny the slight feeling of hope in his chest that he could bump into her.If he was being honest, he hadn’t had his head in the game for weeks, not since he had sent her away and today was just another prime example of how ‘not well’ he was doing without her in his life.
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The Carrero Effect~ The Holiday: Part 2 ~Jake was searching under the water, too dark to see anything and scrambling with his hands at anything that felt like it could be Daniel. Panic gripping his stomach as he frantically surfaced for air and dove again. He had hit the water without a thought the second he knew Danny was in here. No cares that he was maybe too drunk for this and just endlessly searching despite his muscles aching and being so heavy he could barely move anymore. It felt like it had been hours instead of minutes and he still hadn’t found him. He wouldn’t give up on him, he wouldn’t lose his best friend this way.Surfacing for air quicker this time he took a moment to drag more into his burning lungs and wipe the water from his eyes. He could hear yelling from the deck, crying from Leila and other voices but he was fully zoned-in on the surface of the water looking for any signs of him.“He’s here, Mr. Carre
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The Carrero Effect~ The Holiday: Part 1 ~Jake strolled into his apartment and threw his bag down on the couch. It had been a long trip and an even longer week, but he suddenly felt restless at being back. Normally, getting home brought him all kinds of joy, but this time it felt slightly empty, and he actually wished they’d stayed at that damn dance just so he could still be with her right now. Pacing to the window and looking out across the New York skyline he ran his hand through his hair and cracked his neck in a bid to release some of the tension building up his spine. Flexing his arms over his head and straining the jacket holding him tight. He needed to get out of this monkey suit they called a tux and get comfy, maybe he just needed to feel less business-like and properly relax. Maybe he needed a drink.He needed to stop fixating on Emma; it wasn’t healthy, and the constant stream of thoughts he had about her was getting harder to control. S
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The Carrero Effect~ The First Meeting ~Jacob Carrero stood in his room in front of the large mirror over the vanity and warmed hair wax between his fingers, smirking at the familiar black and gold branded product on the wooden surface. His father was still lording over the decision to start a male grooming line with Jake’s face all over the advertising campaign; not that he cared. He was used to being publicly owned, always on show, and every woman’s idea of a fantasy male.Which guy wouldn’t? Women falling at your feet every day. Hell yeah.He rubbed it through his hair expertly and spiked it up toward the center and forward in its trademark style. He was never really one for much fussing over his hair, this kept it sorted and then he never had to care for the rest of the day or mess with it unless he ran his hands through and mussed it up. If he had his way, he would shave it all off, but he had done that in his teens and he
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I catch sight of some of my favorite women on the right-hand side of the aisle. Margo is wiping a tear from her eye and nudging Wilma in her side as both woman wave to me. They’re blowing their noses and crying as Donna throws tissues their way. My crazy trio of motherly hens. Donna’s mascara is pouring down her normally flawless face and I spot Rosalie wave from behind a very handsome man, grinning wildly and looping arms with him, a look of radiant happiness on her pretty face. I beam back at them with a tiny wave before moving on in time to the music, slow steps, with Giovanni leading the way.I catch sight of the Huntsbergers, my new extended family sitting close by and smile warmly at them. The row of adopted children and Huntsberger father looking so proud of his family. Ben and his baby son are near the end of the row. He’s is cuddling him proudly and looking every bit the doting dad. He is now the soul parent o
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“My son was in pain and hiding from what he wanted most,” he says so factually, looking down at me, “I put you back in his path, so he would stop being a coward.” Giovanni grins and all words leave my brain in an open-mouthed silent gawp; realization dawning on me so suddenly that I am literally rendered speechless.He sent me back to Carrero House? Making me believe that he was going to fire me if I didn’t … an ultimatum that led us to where we are now.Giovanni is admitting to maneuvering me back into Jake’s building, so we would end up back in each other’s arms, crafty jerk that he is. He giggles like a schoolboy at my obviously shocked expression and pats my hand tenderly over his inner elbow. That self-confident effortless look on a man who always sees all and knows everything.“No need to thank me, Emma.” He
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I smooth my hands down my ivory wedding dress. It’s classy elegance and understated top is lined with a simple sleeveless fitted bodice and tiny pearl detailing. It has a full wispy floating skirt, and layers and layers of chiffon puffing out to a full-length cloud of loveliness. It’s a fairy-tale princess dress and matches beautifully with the elegant engagement ring twinkling on my hand, sparkling in all its shining glory.I admire my flawless natural make-up in the mirror, touching up my nude lipstick. My tawny hair is wild and curled in its loose romantic style, tiny tendrils hang around my face and I appraise my reflection with pride.I look beautiful! I feel beautiful and serene. There is no fear whatsoever.I look like a woman hopelessly in love, about to marry the man of her dreams.I am that woman.I slide on my satin ivory stilettos that almost mirror the shoes I used to adore so much. It feels weird to be ba
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I am getting so frustrated at myself, my inner anger rears up. I’m surrounded by the song that gave me two of the happiest moments of my life, when he gave me his all, and yet here I am lying here, my sub-conscious holding me back from what I deserve. It’s like the beginning of our relationship all over again. I’m back to the defiant, closed-off Emma who never let him in, always holding back when he needed me most.No! I am not doing this to you, Jake. Not anymore, I won’t!The song is a reminder that he doesn’t always need to be my strength, but a prompt to show me that sometimes I need to be his too. I need to build my own force to find my way back. I need to hold him up and face whatever reality comes when my body wakes up. Maybe that’s why my mind doesn’t want me to wake up. It’s afraid that what Ray did to me will make me hide in the shadows again, that I won’t be able to love Jake and le
