1.New Beginnings

Three years later.

I stood outside the house, outside our house. The house where I had all my best memories but also my worst. The house where my future would be decided for me, where my mother would make me pancakes, where we would laugh and cry together.

I used to to bring her home after her treatments and make her soup and then we would binge watch criminal minds the entire night. I would place a blanket over her the nights she fell asleep in the living room, to tired to walk to her bedroom. She worked everyday and night to provide for us. When she wasn't working, she was battling her cancer.

But not anymore. She didn't have anything to battle, no restless nights of worrying, no stressing to work because she slept three hours one night instead of two.

My first day of my last year at college, the day my life changed forever. Not for the reasons other kids lives did, but because I lost my best friend that day.

All I could think, all I had to think to get through it every day for the rest of my life was that she was at peace, resting, healthy, and free.

I pulled the hood over my head and walked to Elvis’s car. Watching the house in the rearview mirror

as I drove down the road and away from the little neighborhood where I had grown up.

I parked the car and went to the abandoned storage house on a farm just outside of town.

I crawled through the fence and made a b-line from the mud and water holes that were in the ground.

I pulled the metal door aside and walked in, turning on the light.

”Hey, you here?” I shouted as I placed two Rolex watches on the table and then went to the to deposit the cash.

”Up here, babe,” Elvis shouted. He climbed down the ladder and walked up to me. He wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling me to him. His lips smashed down on mine in a hungry, erotic way.

After a while I pulled away from him, earning myself a hard glare from Elvis.

He grabbed my wrist and yanked me right back making me crash into his chest.

”I say when it’s done, Rose,” he seethed. Elvis had a tempter, one you didn't mess with.

He wasn't big but he was toned. All muscle and little to no fat.

”Sorry babe. I just thought we should get going, grab something eat,” I said as I caressed his cheek. Trying to calm the situation.

He let go of me and packed up his bag before putting his hand on the small of my back and guiding me out.

We were driving back to town, back to our condo. I looked out of the window, thinking about tomorrow and the day after that and the one after that. Already knowing they would all be exactly the same.

I felt Elvis's hand on my thigh and stiffened. We had been dating for nearly three years and yet, his touch didn't feel familiar. I had no one to ask regarding these things so I always assumed it was normal. That may be, it takes time before you get used to the touch of another.

”We’re going to Broadway tomorrow,” Elvis said. He gave me a sideways glance and I smiled, seeing the smirk he had going on. Always so eager to get to work.

Broadway was what we called the streets where all the rich people walked, with the Gucci stores and the overpriced cafes.

”Sounds good,” I said and placed my hand over his, resting it on my thigh.

  * * *

”Ugh, I’m starving,” I whined as we made it up to the condo.

I walked into the newly renovated kitchen and took an apple to ease my growling stomach.

”You were at the house, weren't you?” He said from the couch.

”How did you know?” I asked him as I bit into the apple. Moaning as my tastebuds came alive.

”It’s the only time you wear that god-awful sweater.” He said. His voice filled with distaste, he didn't try hiding the distaste on his face either.

”You know, going there and reliving old memories, will do nothing.” he turned back to the tv and didn't realize what his words did to me. The meaning behind them.

I had to re-live those memories, the good and the bad. How else was I supposed to cope?

My mother was my only family and she was gone, but the house was still there. I could still feel her presence whenever I went there. However weird that sounds.

When she passed away, I flunked out of high school. I saw no meaning in going and even if wanted to, I couldn't focus on my classes. I didn't have a job so I couldn't pay rent, food, or any other necessities.

Eventually, the house was sold and I ended up on the streets.

I had no other family, meaning I was left to fend on my own. Until Elvis found me.

I was sleeping on a park bench one night when a strange man came up to me, he shook me awake and told me to come with him.

Little did I know then, that I would still be with him, involved in criminality-not that I minded- to earn money. We made a fair share too.

Grabbing watches, wallets, jewelry, and anything we could get our hands to. Which we later sold off.

We made enough to live in a two-story apartment in the middle of town, to eat where we wanted and travel to where our hearts desired.

Elvis brought me into this world, and I'm grateful. Had I owned our old house today, I would manage and more so.

”So, what’s for dinner?” Elvis asked. Breaking me from my thoughts.

I turned around and stalked to the fridge, I brought out meat and vegetables and opted for a beef stew.

As I left it to boil for an hour or so, I walked into our bedroom and laid down on the bed, ready for a nap. Just as I closed my eyes, the door squeaked, indicating someone walked in.

I opened one eye and turned to lay on my back when I saw Elvis making his way to me.

”What do you say, baby, wanna kill some time?” He crawled on top of me, like a predator over his prey. It felt uncomfortable for reasons I didn't know.

He started kissing my neck and dragging his hand up and down my thigh.

”No,” I said and pushed him back.

He looked down on me, frustration written all over his face as a silent rumble came from him.

”I’m sorry, I'm still not ready,” I felt guilty. Guilty for not giving him what he so desperately desired.

I felt like the worst girlfriend in the world. Elvis had been kind and accepting, patient, even though it had been so long. But I couldn't do it, I couldn't bring myself to give him the one thing he wanted most.

”Will you ever be?” He asked me. A sharp edge to his voice made me wince.

I shrugged my shoulders and tried thinking of an answer that would sound good.

”I don't know. Someday, probably,” though I was unsure.

Not that I told him. I couldn't lose him, I loved him. At least I thought I did.

Elvis roughly pulled away and got off the bed. He put his shirt back on and stormed out. I heard the door to the apartment slam shut and I leaned back, sighing in defeat.

Perhaps I should just give myself to him. Maybe I'm making a bigger deal of this than it has to be.

The ringer went off and I woke up, hurriedly I got out of the bed and went to check on the stew.

I took the lid off and moaned as the aroma hit my nostrils and filled the apartment.

I boiled some potatoes and made a salad to freshen it up a bit.

Just as I was done and setting out plates, the door opened and Elvis stepped in.

He looked much more relaxed and at ease than he did when he left.

”Where did you go?” I asked him as I placed a kiss on his cheek.

”To the gym, had to blow off some steam.” I nodded my head and poured each a glass of wine.

”Dinner is ready,”

”Smells amazing,” he said and went to take a seat.

The stew was my mothers' recipe. She would always take whatever greens we had at home and throw them in. She said to just go with it and everything would turn out great.

I missed her more than I missed anything else in my life.