— H O O R —. . .The night we had dinner together, talking with each other about random things. Zahir was soft and nice to me, smiling at me all the time.For a moment, indeed I was wondering about his behaviour towards me. Do not get me wrong when I say every time I keep wondering about the change in his behavior. I have a hard time coping with Zahir and whatever has happened between us two was not good and bright at all. At least not admirable. So of course, the change in him would always surprise me. But it was only a moment. I did not trouble my brain regarding this but enjoyed his sweet side. He is a handsome man with a good sense of humor. He is cute and lovely. Only when he is like that. After dinner, we came back to our room and I spent time reading the Bible and praying. He was busy with his laptop again but after half an hour, he came and joined me.He kneels beside me. Sensing his presence, I steal a glance at him and make a place for him, letting him sit beside me.
— H O O R —. . .“Come here,” he calls me gently, smiling at me.The pretty and bright glow of the moon falls on his face through the window of our room which I have left open. My fault, that I have left it open in this weather. I close it first, going to him. And once again my eyes are attracted to his face as if once again the deep blue irises of his beautiful eyes call me to take a look at them. Have I fallen in love with them? Can say. They always attract me and make me look deeper into him. It feels like I am lost. Lost in the dark blue chasms and it calls me to him.Even the sight of the moon seems like nothing in front of his eyes. He has taken all my attention. His heart-melting smile and his soft eyes. What’s happening to me, I wonder.“Now I’ll let you know,” he begins, “You know very well that God created man and woman for each other and ultimately He is for us, everything.”I nod my head in understanding.“We belong to Him and to each other if married. As said in Gen
— H O O R —. . .Last night was the most different night of my life. Zahir told me about his childhood — the very reason why he never wanted to marry, and in my heart, I can’t help but think about it over and over again. After he told me about his heart’s deepest fear — fear of being broken — I could not sleep for almost three hours. It was only around dawn I could sleep. The soul in me was troubled yet in unexplained peace. It felt different and quite lovely to know that he shared with me something that only his father had experienced and his brother had seen. Zahir too was a victim of it.He slept peacefully but I could not. Not like I was blaming him for anything but I just could not find the will to fall asleep.I kept looking at him. He was holding me, hiding his face in the crook of my neck, and mumbling a few things that I could not hear. He has weird habits, right? But all that makes him as cute as a baby. When my eyes started getting heavy, I gave up and fell asleep bu
— H O O R —. . .“Anything?” I ask as my eyes widen, surprised to know if he will really do anything for me or if give me if I really ask him.He laughs handsomely, throwing his head back. His raven locks bounce and his blue eyes squint cutely. The skin around his eyes wrinkles. “Anything,” he answers me, nodding his head at me. I sigh, nodding my head, too. I know I can ask him anything but what I truly desire is something that I doubt he would be able to give me. My desire is...“Thinking?” He interrupts my thoughts, staring at me sweetly as he tilts his head. “Um... I don’t want anything for now,” I say, shrugging and backing away. I really do not want to tell him that and ruin his mood. Yeah, it can ruin his mood and I do not want that. It is good when he smiles. When he smiles, I like it and when he is irked, he irks me, too. “All of a sudden? What changed?” He gives me a confused look but I stay with that answer. I do not want to change it. “Nothing. I just don’t want an
— H O O R —. . .Could you just believe where did he take me? It was an aquarium and I was amazed to be in that place with Zahir. We enjoyed a lot and clicked pictures together. Well, one thing I got to learn about Zahir is that he is not fond of clicking pictures.He does not like it! He said that. And it was really funny as I got to know about this. Does he even know how handsome he looks? Well, the way he questioned me this evening made me realize that yeah, he knows about himself but still, he is not very fond of it. Wow. I could not even expect any less from such a grumpy man. But still, I got some snaps of us together. I did not get this chance to bring a camera with me but I had my phone through which I clicked many pictures of us together. He was grumpy in the beginning, telling me not to annoy him by taking his picture but I could not stop myself. I threatened him first to come with me but still, he did not even budge. So when I decided to force him, he literally hid
— H O O R —. . .“Then what was that?” He asks me, his tone serious and his eyes a bit tiry. “Uh...” I need some time to think of an excuse, Zahir! I swallow, licking my bottom lip and nodding my head and I do not even know why am I doing it. It feels stupid! Gosh, Hoor, what is wrong with you?“What?” He looks confused. “Actually, Zahir... it was just that...”“Just what?”“That I-I was... I-uh... all of s-sudden I suddenly thought of the... of the lingerie in my suitcase!” I finish somehow, giving him the most lame excuse yet holding a bit of truth. Yes, honestly! Bhabhi Rayma literally forced me to pack a few sets of lingerie with me. White, black, and cherry red, she suggested to me those I bought with them on their suggestions. Indeed I was a blushing mess in her presence but she did not make fun of me. Instead, she patted my back and encouraged me. Yeah, quite funny, I know. I had no other way than to silently put those packets in my suitcase though I knew I was not even
— H O O R —. . .As Zahir said, he took me to our next destination the very morning. It was a pleasant morning. I do not know why — surely not in excitement — I got up early and walked to the balcony where I looked out through there and sighed at the peaceful sight. It was around four in the morning when I got up and looked out. The city was bathed in silence. There was no sound made except for the chirping birds. The sun was rising as I looked to my side and the sky was gaining brightness back. It looked beautiful. It was, as if, the very heart of the city was beating slowly and lovingly. It soothed my nerves. Zahir was still sleeping and I did not want to disturb him so I freshened up and got myself a cup of hot coffee. In my mind was the poem of William Wordsworth, On The Westminster Bridge which I studied in my college days. Now I realized what was in William’s mind when he was writing the poem. I behold the view until Zahir gets up and asks me to get ready. I do it. I get r
— H O O R —. . .“We can share, Hoor,” he says while laughing and adding, “Don’t be like a child!”I roll my eyes. “I’m being a child, ha? And what about you? Snatching my chocolate milk, is that what big people do?” I utter, glaring at him while he keeps my cup high up in the air. Gosh, he is such a giant! If I even pounce on him, my chocolate milk will bounce and will get wasted which I truly do not want. “Come on, I just want a few sips,” he says with a shrug. I scrunch my nose. “Okay, take some,” I say, sitting calmly and watching his lips curl in a cute smile. Do not do this! My poor heart is already suffering enough. He lifts the cup up to his lips and as I watch him, I see him gulping down the entire cup. “Zahir!” I grip his wrist, snatching the cup but it is empty by the time it reaches me. I stare at it dumbfounded and press my lips together as I lift my eyes to look at my childish husband. He chuckles, putting down the cup while I am in no mood to laugh at his childi
— Z A H I R —. . .It's been days since Hoor and I returned home after attending our relative's wedding. It was awesome, by her side, and on the other hand, I was nearly bored. Only nights were the most beautiful to me because we prayed together and spent some time together. I could not even imagine using the guest's room bed for making love with my wife so I restrained myself. However, it turned out to be a little harder when she kept throwing glances at me and getting ready for the functions. I had no other way than to look at her and praise her. I wanted to do more. After we returned, the first thing I did after taking a shower was to grab her in my arms and hug her like my life depended on it. She giggled, asking me about what changed in ms all of a sudden but I had nothing to answer her. I only breathed at that moment, loving her warmth and the softness of her chest against my head. That's my haven. That night we made love again and the more I explored her, the more needy
— Z A H I R —. . .I rejected it and I regret it now. It has been days since she confessed her feelings to me and I, like a bastard, rejected those feelings. Like every time, I only thought of responsibilities and all, not wishing to give our relationship a chance but after she started avoiding me, I had no other way than to realize my mistake. Hoor does not know, or maybe she is well aware of it that she even takes advantage of it that her ignorance brings me to my knees before her. I have felt it. Hoor makes me feel like I have admitted it to myself. Hoor has become a piece of mine, without whom, I am not whole. I am incomplete without her. I feel restless when she is away from me. When her eyes are not on me, I crave even one look at her. I know I can't live without her and she made me see it in those days. I thought maybe it was because we were getting used to each other so I decided to keep myself away from her. However, my own decision made me feel restless in my heart.
— H O O R —. . .He picks up the call while I sit, anticipating what is going to happen next. I fear Zahir's answer to Mr Hunt. I know he is a nice man but Zahir, in anger, says harsh things. I do not want him to start a fight with Mr Hunt. He puts the call on speaker and looks at me. His eyes linger over my face and solely catch my eyes. I swallow when I hear Mr Hunt's voice. “Hoor?” He asks, and I know I have to keep my mouth shut. “Hoor is with me. And stop calling her, okay?” Okay... It was not as gruff as I expected. I literally expected him to grab Mr Hunt's collar right pushing his hand into the screen of the phone and venting out all the frustration of the past night but he controlled it. Phew!“Uh...”“Yeah,” he breathes and disconnects the lines, tossing away my phone. My eyes widen. “Zahir, it's my phone! Have mercy on it!” I utter, trying to reach for my phone when he grabs my wrist and pulls me to him. I gasp, swallowing as I look at his face. I am glad the sheet
— H O O R —. . .“What's your problem, huh? Why are you behaving like a beast?” I utter, fuming with anger after whatever has happened. He has done this all! His jaw clenches but he does not give me a single look. I see his grip becoming lethal around the steering wheel as he drives the car smoothly. “Ask yourself! What's your problem, Hoor?” He asks instead, giving me a sharp glance over his shoulder. I purse my lips, trying not to say any bad words that will make me regret it later. “I'm totally fine. It's you alone who created a drama there. I don't understand why are you behaving like that!” I do not care if I am making it even more serious. I need answers. The atmosphere inside the car seems to change as it drops. He is trying hard to control his anger but I know he is dangerous when angry. However, I am not afraid to see his limits. Have seen his sides before and no doubt he is going to be like that again; harsh and brutal with words. “Behaving like what? A beast?” He tau
— H O O R —. . .Finding Mr Hunt at the party gave me some kind of relief. As Zahir too knows him, we got interacted and there I got to meet the girl with him. He introduced me to her and she felt pleasant. His choice is very good. However, on the other side, I could see Zahir glaring at us non-stop. It irked me. Now what does he want? I ignored that look. Mr Hunt too noticed how Zahir was keeping a poker face and answering him gruffly every time. When he was called suddenly by some of his partners, it was only Mr Hunt and me left alone. The woman he took with him also left to use the washroom. “Why is he behaving like that?” He asks me in a mutter, confused as he looks at me. My eyes remain on Zahir who is busy holding a conversation with an official man. There are two more with him, keeping him occupied. I stare at him silently, not answering Mr. Hunt for a moment being. I do not feel like doing it or maybe I am too lost admiring my husband among them. He is handsome, after
— H O O R —. . .“May I come in, ma'am?” I know what he is taking with him, and it is only for me to handle. I sigh as I look up from the screen that troubles my eyes. My gaze lands upon a man standing at the door and I am not sure how many times I have seen him today with towers of files in his arms. Only for me!“Of course,” I have to pass him a fake smile.He comes in and sets the tower beside other files. Wow. Just look at my room. How amazing it looks filled with files and files alone. And whose hand is all in this? Surely, my husband's! Because he does not want me to meet Mr Hunt anymore and he can't even confront me and order me around, so he is using such methods to keep me here. Not only that but he is keeping me with himself in meetings. All the meetings which were to be held in the next month and whatever was arranged by me, he thought of completing them all in this month itself. He made me make some changes in the schedule and everywhere he carried me. All this just
— H O O R —. . .“So tell me...” He begins nervously, running a hand through his hair as he looks at me. I wait for him. Maybe he is going to take eternity. Who knows? He is always like that around me; shy and all. Even now he is unable to look me in the eyes. I too do not have any obsession with it. To me, Zahir's eyes are everything. Keeping the straw in my mouth as I enjoy my Faluda ice cream, I steal a glance at his already-flushed face. Now what does he see? I roll my eyes back to the setting sun and realize that I have spent more time with him. I do not worry about my work. I know I will complete the pending tasks but I needed to refresh my mind which he helped me having. He is an amazing friend, to be honest. After how Zahir spoiled my mood with that interrogation, he called me and I came out to meet him. He took me to places around and bought me ice cream. Walk with him was nice as he kept cracking silly jokes. I was even laughing. Yeah, I like such stupid jokes. He wa
— H O O R —. . .Three days have passed. Life is going on as before. The only difference is that whatever happened between Zahir and me seems like a dream. Everything disappeared as soon as I opened my eyes.Work and prayer help me to forget all this every moment, but I cannot use them every moment to escape from the past. Because of whatever happened that night, I still feel as if there are wounds in my heart that have not healed yet. But I know that time will change everything and all wounds will heal. God will do it. Right now I am just waiting for these days to pass. Now that I know that our relationship is not going to improve, I do not want to stay here any longer.Another time my phone rings. It is Mr Hunt. I have been ignoring his calls since this morning but he does not seem to give up. I am not in the mood, simple. I do not want to talk to him but I know I have to. I will be responsible for many things then. Clenching my jaw, I pick up the call and I remove my gaze from
— H O O R —. . .“Are you out of your mind, Hoor?” He says, breaking all my expectations just in a second. I stare at him dumbfounded, my heart sinking deeper. My eyes do not flutter as they are set on him but he has my hands clammy in anticipation. I muster up the courage to ask, “Wh-What do you mean, Zahir?” My tone is confused. Still. I am still expecting him to give me an explanation so it can relieve the burn in my chest. “It's simple, Hoor!” He utters, getting up as he releases a deep sigh. His arm raises and he runs a hand through his hair. Once again as he shows he is frustrated. I narrow my eyes at him, staring at his face as he steps away, continuing, “It's simple that I don't wanna be in a relationship. And haven't I told you that already?” The next he turns around, eyes boring into mine. They hold frustration and anger, resembling a darker and deeper shade of ocean. His jaw clenches as he adds, “I made it clear already!”He did but I started having feelings for him.