*Vanessa*It takes me ages to fall asleep. After the ceremony concluded, Shawn walked me back to my apartment. We just carried on talking, like we did on the roof. We spoke about everything and nothing at the same time, our conversation drifting in and out of seriousness until dawn broke.As I lay there, my heartbeat refusing to settle down, questions began to break through the fog of tipsiness. He’d been so sweet with me, patient and willing to share something personal that he by no means had to. I like him. There’s no doubt about that now. I really, really like him. But what did I want to do with that information? Shawn said we would go as slow as I needed to, and that he would wait for me. He’d been true to his word, but now I find myself at a crossroads. Do I move on and take the chance to have a relationship with him despite my fears, or do I do the safe thing and deny my feelings?We went from being wary strangers to allies to friends, but a
*Vanessa*“And you’re certain this is a good decision? All of you, have you spoken about this in-depth and well-considered the scope of it?” Elder Henley asks skeptically, leveling a look at the rest of us lined up before him. Shawn nods, keeping his gaze steady. I’m standing beside him, along with Aaron, Amara, Reece, and the other leaders of the various groups. The Elders are split in their reactions–half of them look uneasy, maybe even slightly incensed at the Alpha’s decision. But the other half look intrigued at the prospect, curious as to how we got to this point, to begin with. “Vanessa has brought Ashborne to a point of stabilization that we haven’t seen in a long time,” he says matter-of-factly. “This is the best time to move, when all of our systems have been optimized and the food and training have made our warriors stronger than they’ve been since the last war.”Elder Henley flinches, and I can’t help the small smile that tugs at my mouth. The Alpha ha
*Vanessa*I wake from a dreamless sleep to feel a strong arm draped over my body. Another lies beneath my head, essentially acting as a pillow on the otherwise hard ground of the flat roof I find myself on. I feel warmth behind me, the slight movements of someone breathing as their chest rises and falls against my back. Then, his familiar scent hits me and I instinctively relax.Shawn, still half asleep, tightens his arm around me and draws me back in against him, nestling his face in the crook of my neck. “Good morning,” he mumbles, his lips forming the words against my skin. I giggle at how ticklish it feels, running my hand down his forearm. “Morning,” I reply. “Tell me … What are the chances of us just staying here for the rest of the day and leaving everything to Aaron and Amara?” he whispers in my ear. “Hmm … As much as I’d love to tell you otherwise,” I turn my head and kiss him, “I’d have to say slim to none.”He groans and nuzzles into my
*Shawn*I’m still grinning like a fool long after Vanessa leaves for her rounds. It’s odd to think of how far we’ve come and how much she’s begun to trust me. I can still see her shy smile and still feel her lips pressed against mine. And even though she’s not ready to name whatever this is we have between us, I’m more than willing to wait until she’s sure. I still can’t believe she’s real, sometimes. I’ve watched her grow in these last few months and rise so far above the state she was in when I first found her. I knew then that she was a fighter and she’s only continued to prove me right. She may not see it in herself, but she’d make for an amazing leader.I have to thank the Goddess that even though I am not her fated mate, the dumbass that was chosen just happened to be the biggest idiot alive —luckily for me. Even though I will never understand how he could possibly have let Vanessa slip through his fingers, I’m definitely not going to be ungratef
*Vanessa*“Everything’s gone a lot more smoothly than I could’ve imagined,” Elder Henley says. He chuckles to himself, shaking his head. “I’ll acknowledge that I was rather skeptical when you first introduced the idea, Shawn, but it’s gone rather well.”The other Elders at the meeting seem to concur. Shawn inclines his head at them. “Well, we have a strong team. Everyone standing in front of you here more than pulled their weight,” The Alpha says breezily, and I have to commend how well-planned that comment is. By shifting the praise to the team of section leaders behind him, including me, Shawn has inadvertently reminded everyone in the room of my contribution without being overtly obvious. It also cements my place as one of them. Even though I agreed to face this thing and let him help me, I made it clear to him that I didn’t want it to be obvious that he was in my corner, mainly for the sake of his standing with the pack. Until the truth was actually prov
*Shawn*“So, we’re not expecting any onslaughts from our neighbors for a while, right?” Aaron asks. I shake my head, eyeing the papers in my hand. “Doesn’t look like it. Patrol reports say that they haven’t spotted any packs trying to claim the contested borderlands. So, by the time they do, we’ll probably have built up a decent enough defense.”“We’re back,” he answers through a yawn, stretching. “It’s about time. I wasn’t sure we’d ever recover after … well, you know.”“We’re getting there,” I correct. “We’re not quite there yet, but we’re getting there. I think we can do this.”“Of course,” Aaron says. The look we share says everything we don’t–we both lost important people in the name of defending the pack and both of us doubted our capabilities to help bring Ashborne back to where it once was. But now… Now we have hope we didn’t before. And it’s an amazing feeling. “I’ve got some plans for the rest of the night, so if there’s nothing els
*Shawn*“We’ve been combing the surrounding trails, but it’s like her scent just vanished,” Aaron says, his face hardened with concentration. He keeps pace with me as I head to the meeting room, my eyes set dead ahead. “I’ve sent out some of our patrol scouts to extend the search area, but I didn’t want to add any more numbers until I got your permission.”“Thank you,” I reply, and the sound of my own voice is foreign to me. “Keep them on the trails, but don’t send any more shifters out until we get more information. I want everyone who saw her in the last four hours in that room.”“Already done,” Amara notes, flanking my other side. Her tears have dried leaving only the evenly-tempered and focused healer I know to solve any problem with ease. The time immediately after Amara told me that Vanessa was missing felt like an eternity of terror rolled into a single moment. Everything felt wrong–the air was too suffocating, my skin was too tight, my heart too fast but at
*Vanessa*My head is pounding. Various aches and pains are spread throughout my body, but it’s the throbbing headache that takes all of my attention. I’m lying on my back, spread out on an uncomfortable mattress, and even before I open my eyes, I know that I’m inside some kind of building. It smells … familiar. I immediately flashback to when I woke up from my mini coma all those months ago, finding myself in Ashborne’s infirmary with Amara’s comforting brown eyes staring down at me. At the time, I’d been terrified. But now, thinking of being back there fills me with such a sense of nostalgia and longing that it hurts, seemingly compounding the pain in my head. I move to raise my hand, wanting to check for any injuries when I feel the bite of metal against my skin. Startled, I finally open my eyes and look down to see a handcuff strapped to my wrist, attached to a chain that runs behind me and terminates in a wall attachment. I panic, floundering arou
*Vanessa*I don’t recognize the girl in the mirror. She has my dark hair, set loose in dark curls that reach the middle of my back and plaited in some parts with pretty little white flowers. Her skin is flush with nervousness, but this time, there’s an excitement that overpowers it. The biggest thing that makes her hard for me to recognize is the feeling of pure joy and contentment it shows on her face.My face.It’s an expression I’ve come to wear very often.“Dahlia, I swear to the Goddess, if you lost the veil…” Amara warns, sounding as distraught as if it were her mating ceremony. She’s been buzzing around me the entire day, insisting I do nothing but get myself ready. Dahlia looks contrite. “No, I put it in a very safe spot, okay? I just … happened to forget where said safe spot was and then there was no time to look. But don’t panic! I have a plan.”Amara looks very much as though she is panicking. There’s practically steam coming out of her ears. I chuckle, putti
*Vanessa*It’s dusk by the time Aaron and Amara finish their date and make their way back to Ashborne. Having already started working on the crafting of the mating token, I decided to sit just outside and wait for them to get back. I don’t want to fling myself at them and bombard them with questions, knowing how important it is for them to spend as much time just enjoying each other as possible, but I can’t help the surge of curiosity and excitement I feel. I’m dying to know how everything went. One good sign though, is what happens when I first spot them. They’re walking together, close enough for their arms to brush as they walk, and from what I can see of their body language, they move with a sort of relaxed demeanor that can only happen when things have been going well. They’re far enough away for them not to see me when Aaron tugs on Amara’s hand to bring her to a gentle stop before drawing her in for a kiss. I’m glad they can’t hear the absolutely chi
*Shawn*“I thought I’d take it upon myself to run this council meeting.” Elder Luka stands tall and imposing, their eyes roving over everyone else from the seat beside mine. I’m sitting in the head seat, the one reserved for the Alpha. Usually, it would seem like a place of authority. But now, it’s more of a hot seat. But knowing Elder Luka’s fondness for Vanessa does make me feel more positive about the whole thing. My eyes immediately go to Henley, who’s sulking at the far end of the table. I resist the urge to smirk. “These matters are not foreign to us. However, we do find ourselves in a rather unique predicament where the shifter who might become our Luna is a foreigner to us. Her circumstances are definitely the first of its sort that Ashborne has seen,” they continue. “That, I believe, does require some extra consideration.”I wait my turn to speak, which will come at the end of their line of questioning. I keep myself calm, trying not to let my uneas
*Vanessa*I’ve never seen Amara nervous before. Usually, she’s the most calm and level-headed person in the room, but now she’s unrecognizable with a slight shake in her hands as she tries to fix her hair in an upstyle. I watch from my perch on her bed. “Okay, I’ll ask you once and only once. Is there some kind of blackmail ploy I’m unaware of? Or maybe some hidden gun somewhere pressed to your back?”Amara spins around quickly. “What do you mean?”“I mean, you’re acting like you’re going out to meet an executioner or something. Not the guy you’ve been looking forward to spending time with since he asked you out,” I explain.She sighs warily, turning back to scrutinize her reflection in the mirror. “I can’t help it, Vee. I just want things to go smoothly, you know? It’s so much easier to enjoy something when there aren’t any expectations that come with it. And adding a label to stuff tends to create those expectations.” I stand up and walk over to
*Shawn*“I was waiting for you to finally come see me.” Amara glances at me over the paperwork she has splayed across her desk. “It’s about time you start putting together plans for a decent proposal.”“How could you possibly—” I begin, completely dumbfounded at how she knows what I came here to do. But she fixes me with a look. “Don’t insult me by thinking I don’t know you. Twenty years of friendship isn’t child’s play,” she says, her voice deadpan. She gestures at the open chair in front of her. “Have a seat.”I chuckle at the formalness and move to sit opposite her. “So, when did you decide to propose to Vanessa?” she asks, steepling her fingers beneath her chin and resting her elbows on the desk. I try to decipher whether she’s being serious or not with how strict she looks.I was expecting Amara to be her usual cheery self, to jump up and hug me in congratulations.I know that she’s become Vanessa’s best friend, but surely she doesn’t think I w
*Vanessa*“That was not even close to what I expected,” Aaron rasps out, lying flat on his back. I laugh, removing the knee I kept pinned to his neck. As I stand, I reach out my arm to help him up and he takes it reluctantly. “A warning would’ve been great. I had no idea you were training on your own.”“So what? Were you hoping to kick my ass thinking I was unprepared for it?” I ask. “Where’s the honor in that?”He rolls his eyes at me. “Who’s been training you other than me? I don’t remember teaching you that pin.”“Seth and Dahlia,” I reply airily, and Aaron grunts. “I think it’s important to diversify my training.”“Yeah, yeah,” he grumbles, still trying to regain his breath. “Damn, if your practice sessions over these last few weeks are anything to go by, you’ll be a killing machine before the end of the year. Any chance you’d consider joining the warrior sector?”“Ha. Now you’re just being sarcastic.”“Not in the slightest, for once.” He begins t
*Vanessa*As Shawn tells me about the council meeting with the Elders and specifically Elder Luka’s dressing down of Henley, I get so caught up in the story that I don’t even notice him absentmindedly playing with my hair. I laugh when I hear what Elder Luka said, and I laugh even harder when Shawn describes Henley’s reaction. I look up at him, watching the peaceful look on his face and I feel that contentment spread to me too. It’s so calming to see and hear him be happy. But as a comfortable lull settles into our conversation, I really think for the first time about something he mentioned earlier. “Wait. I’m sorry, did you say that you were planning on expanding our territory?” I ask him, suddenly shooting up.“Yeah,” he confirms, sounding confused. Excitement piques my voice. “I have an idea.”“Baby, please don’t tell me that you’re wanting to talk about strategy right now?” he pleads with a puppy look on his face. My stomach twists when
*Shawn*“Well, you seem to have plenty of new things coming up on the horizon, Alpha Shawn.” Nothing about Henley’s statement sounds congratulatory at all. Instead, he says it with clear resentment. Which only makes me happier to agree. “Yes. There are quite a few adjustments Ashborne will be making for the future. One of which is a plan to start expanding our territory within the next two years. I’ll be calling more council meetings to discuss plans regarding just how we’ll achieve that.”Henley’s eyes widen. “Expand our territory? Are you planning on staying here? I thought we would move again, and that this arrangement was only temporary,” he says, stuttering over his words. “No,” I reply simply. “This is one of the best possible locations for our pack to lay roots down. Our proximity to resources, fertile hunting grounds, and other pack patrol paths is as good as we could hope for. I doubt we’ll find anything better unless you plan to drive another pack
*Vanessa*Waking up in Shawn’s arms feels like a luxury. This time, I don’t have to leave in the early hours. This time, I can allow myself to relax and enjoy the feeling of his warmth and weight against my body. Last night felt like a dream. Not only did I finally feel like I was able to fully embrace becoming part of Ashborne without any last remnants of my time with Helbane and Trent, but Shawn opened up to me and allowed me to see the more vulnerable parts of himself. It felt like on both counts, I was beginning to get more serious.And while I know that I should probably have some work to do today, I don’t want to leave the comfort of Shawn’s bed. “Up already?” His voice from behind me is groggy and deeper than normal due to sleepiness, but it sounds so attractive that my stomach twists into knots.“It’s my first official day as an officially-instituted strategist. I figured I should probably start getting ready to make a good first impression,” I