*Shawn*She looked nervous when I asked her to dinner, like she still wasn’t sure whether or not she could trust me. I guess I can’t blame her. It may have been two months since she first came here, but I know that even without any of the details, whatever reasons she has for not being able to return to her old pack must’ve wrecked her faith in people. It pains me to think that she has a reason to feel that way, and even more so when she downplays her skills. Over the past few weeks, she’s dismissed most of the compliments she’s been given by me, or the other occasional shifters. But I’ve watched her grow exponentially even in this last month alone. I’ve memorized the look on her face when she’s really concentrating on something, the way she wrinkles her nose slightly and constantly tucks her hair behind her ear, even when it’s perfectly neat. Or the way she lights up when she finally manages to come up with a solution to a problem that’s been i
*Vanessa*I don’t register anything as I rush through the compound and toward my apartment.I just screamed at Ashborne’s Alpha without any sense of self-preservation or logic. I was so overwrought with the emotions the confession had wrung out of me that I didn’t stop to think about the consequences of my actions. Shawn would certainly kick me out now. There was no doubt about it. I knew enough about pack politics and the dynamics of the hierarchies within to understand that I just broke one of the most cardinal rules: never disregard your Alpha. It didn’t matter that we were alone and there wasn’t anyone around to hear me do it. I essentially spat on his title. Any other Alpha might have punished me on the spot. I don’t even want to think about how Trent would’ve reacted. Whatever kindness I thought Shawn was displaying toward me would never be able to save me from what I know I deserve. If he was genuine in his treatment of me, I might be lucky enou
*Vanessa*The next morning, I’m well-rested but my face is still blotchy and swollen from crying the night before. I get ready, taking a shower and choosing my clothes while wondering what I can do to fill the day seeing as I have no meetings planned and no rounds to do. I know that Amara has a full schedule with her patients and the first aid classes, so I decide to just go for a walk around the compound for some fresh air and exercise. I opt to wear a pair of shorts and a casual shirt, a cool enough outfit in the heat already beginning to build outside.I’m about to leave and open the door when I come face to face with none other than Shawn. His fist is raised, as though he were mere seconds away from knocking before I opened it anyway. Neither of us says anything at first, both evidently too surprised and unprepared to know how to proceed. But then, he lowers his hand and inclines his head in greeting.“Good morning, Vanessa. I was hoping to get a chance t
*Vanessa*“Hey, Vanessa, over here!” Amara waves me over to the group of eating shifters and I freeze, my plate still in my hands. The group is seated around a table and most of them aren’t really paying attention to her invitation. The few that do notice give me reassuring looks. I swallow hard, reminding myself about what Elder Luka said.If I want to learn how to open myself up to others and really have a place here, then there’s nothing to do but try. Despite it going against every fiber in my being, I return their smiles and head over to join them, my stomach in knots but my mind determined. “Hey,” I say to everyone at the table.“It’s about time you joined us,” Amara says, absentmindedly digging into her lunch. “They’ve been asking me to introduce them to you for a while now.”“Really?” I ask in surprise and a few of the shifters murmur their confirmation. “Yeah.” A boy who can’t be older than twenty pipes up from a couple of seats to my left
*Vanessa*It takes me ages to fall asleep. After the ceremony concluded, Shawn walked me back to my apartment. We just carried on talking, like we did on the roof. We spoke about everything and nothing at the same time, our conversation drifting in and out of seriousness until dawn broke.As I lay there, my heartbeat refusing to settle down, questions began to break through the fog of tipsiness. He’d been so sweet with me, patient and willing to share something personal that he by no means had to. I like him. There’s no doubt about that now. I really, really like him. But what did I want to do with that information? Shawn said we would go as slow as I needed to, and that he would wait for me. He’d been true to his word, but now I find myself at a crossroads. Do I move on and take the chance to have a relationship with him despite my fears, or do I do the safe thing and deny my feelings?We went from being wary strangers to allies to friends, but a
*Vanessa*“And you’re certain this is a good decision? All of you, have you spoken about this in-depth and well-considered the scope of it?” Elder Henley asks skeptically, leveling a look at the rest of us lined up before him. Shawn nods, keeping his gaze steady. I’m standing beside him, along with Aaron, Amara, Reece, and the other leaders of the various groups. The Elders are split in their reactions–half of them look uneasy, maybe even slightly incensed at the Alpha’s decision. But the other half look intrigued at the prospect, curious as to how we got to this point, to begin with. “Vanessa has brought Ashborne to a point of stabilization that we haven’t seen in a long time,” he says matter-of-factly. “This is the best time to move, when all of our systems have been optimized and the food and training have made our warriors stronger than they’ve been since the last war.”Elder Henley flinches, and I can’t help the small smile that tugs at my mouth. The Alpha ha
*Vanessa*I wake from a dreamless sleep to feel a strong arm draped over my body. Another lies beneath my head, essentially acting as a pillow on the otherwise hard ground of the flat roof I find myself on. I feel warmth behind me, the slight movements of someone breathing as their chest rises and falls against my back. Then, his familiar scent hits me and I instinctively relax.Shawn, still half asleep, tightens his arm around me and draws me back in against him, nestling his face in the crook of my neck. “Good morning,” he mumbles, his lips forming the words against my skin. I giggle at how ticklish it feels, running my hand down his forearm. “Morning,” I reply. “Tell me … What are the chances of us just staying here for the rest of the day and leaving everything to Aaron and Amara?” he whispers in my ear. “Hmm … As much as I’d love to tell you otherwise,” I turn my head and kiss him, “I’d have to say slim to none.”He groans and nuzzles into my
*Shawn*I’m still grinning like a fool long after Vanessa leaves for her rounds. It’s odd to think of how far we’ve come and how much she’s begun to trust me. I can still see her shy smile and still feel her lips pressed against mine. And even though she’s not ready to name whatever this is we have between us, I’m more than willing to wait until she’s sure. I still can’t believe she’s real, sometimes. I’ve watched her grow in these last few months and rise so far above the state she was in when I first found her. I knew then that she was a fighter and she’s only continued to prove me right. She may not see it in herself, but she’d make for an amazing leader.I have to thank the Goddess that even though I am not her fated mate, the dumbass that was chosen just happened to be the biggest idiot alive —luckily for me. Even though I will never understand how he could possibly have let Vanessa slip through his fingers, I’m definitely not going to be ungratef
*Vanessa*I don’t recognize the girl in the mirror. She has my dark hair, set loose in dark curls that reach the middle of my back and plaited in some parts with pretty little white flowers. Her skin is flush with nervousness, but this time, there’s an excitement that overpowers it. The biggest thing that makes her hard for me to recognize is the feeling of pure joy and contentment it shows on her face.My face.It’s an expression I’ve come to wear very often.“Dahlia, I swear to the Goddess, if you lost the veil…” Amara warns, sounding as distraught as if it were her mating ceremony. She’s been buzzing around me the entire day, insisting I do nothing but get myself ready. Dahlia looks contrite. “No, I put it in a very safe spot, okay? I just … happened to forget where said safe spot was and then there was no time to look. But don’t panic! I have a plan.”Amara looks very much as though she is panicking. There’s practically steam coming out of her ears. I chuckle, putti
*Vanessa*It’s dusk by the time Aaron and Amara finish their date and make their way back to Ashborne. Having already started working on the crafting of the mating token, I decided to sit just outside and wait for them to get back. I don’t want to fling myself at them and bombard them with questions, knowing how important it is for them to spend as much time just enjoying each other as possible, but I can’t help the surge of curiosity and excitement I feel. I’m dying to know how everything went. One good sign though, is what happens when I first spot them. They’re walking together, close enough for their arms to brush as they walk, and from what I can see of their body language, they move with a sort of relaxed demeanor that can only happen when things have been going well. They’re far enough away for them not to see me when Aaron tugs on Amara’s hand to bring her to a gentle stop before drawing her in for a kiss. I’m glad they can’t hear the absolutely chi
*Shawn*“I thought I’d take it upon myself to run this council meeting.” Elder Luka stands tall and imposing, their eyes roving over everyone else from the seat beside mine. I’m sitting in the head seat, the one reserved for the Alpha. Usually, it would seem like a place of authority. But now, it’s more of a hot seat. But knowing Elder Luka’s fondness for Vanessa does make me feel more positive about the whole thing. My eyes immediately go to Henley, who’s sulking at the far end of the table. I resist the urge to smirk. “These matters are not foreign to us. However, we do find ourselves in a rather unique predicament where the shifter who might become our Luna is a foreigner to us. Her circumstances are definitely the first of its sort that Ashborne has seen,” they continue. “That, I believe, does require some extra consideration.”I wait my turn to speak, which will come at the end of their line of questioning. I keep myself calm, trying not to let my uneas
*Vanessa*I’ve never seen Amara nervous before. Usually, she’s the most calm and level-headed person in the room, but now she’s unrecognizable with a slight shake in her hands as she tries to fix her hair in an upstyle. I watch from my perch on her bed. “Okay, I’ll ask you once and only once. Is there some kind of blackmail ploy I’m unaware of? Or maybe some hidden gun somewhere pressed to your back?”Amara spins around quickly. “What do you mean?”“I mean, you’re acting like you’re going out to meet an executioner or something. Not the guy you’ve been looking forward to spending time with since he asked you out,” I explain.She sighs warily, turning back to scrutinize her reflection in the mirror. “I can’t help it, Vee. I just want things to go smoothly, you know? It’s so much easier to enjoy something when there aren’t any expectations that come with it. And adding a label to stuff tends to create those expectations.” I stand up and walk over to
*Shawn*“I was waiting for you to finally come see me.” Amara glances at me over the paperwork she has splayed across her desk. “It’s about time you start putting together plans for a decent proposal.”“How could you possibly—” I begin, completely dumbfounded at how she knows what I came here to do. But she fixes me with a look. “Don’t insult me by thinking I don’t know you. Twenty years of friendship isn’t child’s play,” she says, her voice deadpan. She gestures at the open chair in front of her. “Have a seat.”I chuckle at the formalness and move to sit opposite her. “So, when did you decide to propose to Vanessa?” she asks, steepling her fingers beneath her chin and resting her elbows on the desk. I try to decipher whether she’s being serious or not with how strict she looks.I was expecting Amara to be her usual cheery self, to jump up and hug me in congratulations.I know that she’s become Vanessa’s best friend, but surely she doesn’t think I w
*Vanessa*“That was not even close to what I expected,” Aaron rasps out, lying flat on his back. I laugh, removing the knee I kept pinned to his neck. As I stand, I reach out my arm to help him up and he takes it reluctantly. “A warning would’ve been great. I had no idea you were training on your own.”“So what? Were you hoping to kick my ass thinking I was unprepared for it?” I ask. “Where’s the honor in that?”He rolls his eyes at me. “Who’s been training you other than me? I don’t remember teaching you that pin.”“Seth and Dahlia,” I reply airily, and Aaron grunts. “I think it’s important to diversify my training.”“Yeah, yeah,” he grumbles, still trying to regain his breath. “Damn, if your practice sessions over these last few weeks are anything to go by, you’ll be a killing machine before the end of the year. Any chance you’d consider joining the warrior sector?”“Ha. Now you’re just being sarcastic.”“Not in the slightest, for once.” He begins t
*Vanessa*As Shawn tells me about the council meeting with the Elders and specifically Elder Luka’s dressing down of Henley, I get so caught up in the story that I don’t even notice him absentmindedly playing with my hair. I laugh when I hear what Elder Luka said, and I laugh even harder when Shawn describes Henley’s reaction. I look up at him, watching the peaceful look on his face and I feel that contentment spread to me too. It’s so calming to see and hear him be happy. But as a comfortable lull settles into our conversation, I really think for the first time about something he mentioned earlier. “Wait. I’m sorry, did you say that you were planning on expanding our territory?” I ask him, suddenly shooting up.“Yeah,” he confirms, sounding confused. Excitement piques my voice. “I have an idea.”“Baby, please don’t tell me that you’re wanting to talk about strategy right now?” he pleads with a puppy look on his face. My stomach twists when
*Shawn*“Well, you seem to have plenty of new things coming up on the horizon, Alpha Shawn.” Nothing about Henley’s statement sounds congratulatory at all. Instead, he says it with clear resentment. Which only makes me happier to agree. “Yes. There are quite a few adjustments Ashborne will be making for the future. One of which is a plan to start expanding our territory within the next two years. I’ll be calling more council meetings to discuss plans regarding just how we’ll achieve that.”Henley’s eyes widen. “Expand our territory? Are you planning on staying here? I thought we would move again, and that this arrangement was only temporary,” he says, stuttering over his words. “No,” I reply simply. “This is one of the best possible locations for our pack to lay roots down. Our proximity to resources, fertile hunting grounds, and other pack patrol paths is as good as we could hope for. I doubt we’ll find anything better unless you plan to drive another pack
*Vanessa*Waking up in Shawn’s arms feels like a luxury. This time, I don’t have to leave in the early hours. This time, I can allow myself to relax and enjoy the feeling of his warmth and weight against my body. Last night felt like a dream. Not only did I finally feel like I was able to fully embrace becoming part of Ashborne without any last remnants of my time with Helbane and Trent, but Shawn opened up to me and allowed me to see the more vulnerable parts of himself. It felt like on both counts, I was beginning to get more serious.And while I know that I should probably have some work to do today, I don’t want to leave the comfort of Shawn’s bed. “Up already?” His voice from behind me is groggy and deeper than normal due to sleepiness, but it sounds so attractive that my stomach twists into knots.“It’s my first official day as an officially-instituted strategist. I figured I should probably start getting ready to make a good first impression,” I