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“What’s the meaning of this?” Ms. Perfect roars as soon as she has caught her breath. “Do you know how much this rice cooker costs? It’s imported all the way from Japan and it has a microchip and uses fuzzy logic!” Kate lifts her horrified eyes to meet Ms. Perfect’s angry ones. Yssy thinks Kate should win the FAMAS Best Actress Award because her eyes reflect a complex mix of incomprehension, shock and guilt. Inside though, it isn’t lost on the two roomies that Ms. Perfect, a self-proclaimed Luddite, uses words like “microchip” and “fuzzy logic” (whatever that is) under stress. “I-I don’t know what happened, Ms. Perfect!” Kate stammers. “Honest! The last thing I remember I was lying down on my bed and, the next minute, I’m here and you’re standing in front of me!” “She must’ve sleepwalked!” Yssy supports with not a small amount of awe in her voice. “Somnambulism, huh?” Ms. Perfect says while setting down the rice cooker safely on Kate’s study table, which is nearer to the door. Th
“OK, I’m gonna pretend you did not just ask me that,” Yssy says. Then, seeing Kate’s innocent face. “You seriously don’t know?” “Nope.” “That’s a dead giveaway you still have your V-Card. What boys really want is… drumroll please… dirty photos. Nudes. Those are what guys think of all the time because it’s a hint of the real thing. It’s the excitement of the chase. Now, normally, you’d think there should be no substitute to the real thing. You know, S–E-X. But the trouble is, once a boy does get the real thing, once a girl gives him her everything, that’s when he’ll start to miss the hunt. The game.” Kate doesn’t know why but her ex Josh comes to her mind just then. “Which is why the tease and the hard-to-get playbook works like a charm,” Yssy continues explaining. “If you can master how to create, sustain and prolong their fantasy of you, you’ll have your man eating out the palm of your hand. You’ll have both his heart and his undying loyalty.” “But how do you create such a fanta
The Beta tapes play washed-out, fuzzy videos that have a lot of horizontal glitches flitting on the top or bottom of the screen or jumping up or down across it. Kate doesn’t mind because beggars can’t be choosers. In fact, if the other campers could see her in her new solitary prison, they’d die of envy. The only thing missing is a bag of nachos. The movies themselves are veritable classics, especially The Bride of Frankenstein which is in black and white. Most of them are horror movies, as in written by Stephen King or directed by him. Kate would’ve watched them any day with the Bali Girls but, being alone and in an unsavory cellar, she chickens out on Poltergeist. The ones that make the deepest impact on her are the sci-fi Terminator series (both directed by James Cameron!). One time Ms. Perfect drops in for a surprise check (she took off her stilettos and pantyhose and tiptoed barefoot), Kate has just turned off the Betamax and she’s fresh from crying because of Model 101’s heroic
Kate is both impressed and saddened to hear Nathan’s insight. She supposes he’s still having trouble with his anti-depressant. She herself had felt a haze of negative thoughts until very recently, almost as palpable as the mist that sometimes comes to Woodland Vista. But Kate’s own dark mist thinned a few days ago at the arrival of Terra’s letter, and then it dissipated in inverse proportion to the rise of her resolve and the concretization of her escape plan. Nathan’s answer clinches it for her. She decides to help him. “I have something to give you,” she says as she hands him a “slice” of the birthday orange. “You mean something else besides this?” Nathan asks and pops the section into his mouth. “Yup.” When Nathan notices she’s serious, his attitude changes. “Oh no no no. I can’t accept a gift from you. Not today. It’s YOUR special day. And I didn’t prepare anything except the orange.” “That’s all right. I love your gift. But there’s something else I need to give you, and I n
Every month, Colonel Anders hosts a paintball game supported by Woodland Vista’s corporate team-building packages. Last month, there were more students so there was a total of four competing teams. This time, there are only two, but not boys vs. girls because, as mentioned earlier, the boys far outnumber the girls at camp. Because of her good performance, Kate has in fact been considered to become leader of Team Yellow, but because of the incident with Ms. Perfect, the honor went to Yssy. Kate couldn’t have been more pleased because being leader would’ve set too many eyes on her and she wouldn’t be able to execute her escape plan. Besides, it’s not really her dream to be a leader in a fascist para-military exercise. The leader of the other team, Team Red, where Nathan belongs, is a beefy, slightly charismatic guy named Regie (short for Reginald), who hates Nathan’s guts. OK, maybe he doesn’t really hate Nathan’s guts; he just looks like he does with his extra-pointy faux hawk hairst
“Stop,” the person whispers, “right there.” Kate’s neck stiffens in fright and she literally can’t turn her head to see who’s got her. She’s too afraid she’s going to see the barrel of a paintball gun about to blast her in the face. Kate instinctively raises her hands in a gesture of surrender. “Turn around,” the masculine voice says sternly, in a voice as deep as that of Christian Bale Batman. “Very slowly.” Her captor needn’t have said that because Kate’s body no longer obeys her. She turns around as though in slow-mo. Because of the goggles and all the face paint, she can’t immediately recognize the face in the light of her headlamp. But when it breaks into a familiar grin, relief suffuses her entire body. “Nathan!” she hisses and hits him on the shoulder. “Oww.” “Sorry. I’m just so glad to see you.” “Yeah, I can tell,” Nathan says with a wince, rubbing his shoulder. “What are you doing here? How did you even get here? Your base is all the way over there.” “I used the Cloa
Nathan’s plan is working flawlessly. They get to the main castle and then Door No. 4 without a hitch – nobody shoots at them or anything. The door leads them to an empty room with pink walls. There are table, chairs and a full-length mirror that gives Kate a start in the dim. “It’s some kind of dressing room,” Kate whispers in awe. Her soft voice making an echo in the vast shadowy spaces. “Well then, it’s perfect for the cosmetic work we’re about to apply to each other,” Nathan replies and raises his paintball gun. “Wanna go first?” “Will it hurt?” Nathan blurts out the first thing that comes to his mind: “Love stings like Cupid’s arrow, senhorrita. But if you can endure the pain, you will enjoy… le pleasure.” He pronounces the last word as "plaisir". Giggling, Kate walks backwards as far away as possible from him but staying in the light of the moon streaming through a high window. She stands a few meters across and tenses up. “I think that’s a load of bull, senhorrito,” Kate
“Water in the hole!” Nathan screams and lobs the two sponge bombs. Jumping back, Ms. Perfect and Yssy hug each other and let out high-pitched shrieks. Meanwhile, Colonel Anders lets loose his usual stream of military obscenities: “Gutdemit! San op a gan! San op a bits! Cis payr! Cis payr or I’ll hab yu pulling KP da res op yor Gutdam layf! Dat’s a dayrek order!” (Translation: Goddammit! Son of a gun! Son of a bites! Cease fire! Cease fire or I’ll have you pulling KP the rest of your Goddamn life! That’s a direct order!) “Go, Kate,” Nathan tells her. “I got this.” “Oh no you don’t,” Ms. Perfect says. To Yssy and Colonel Anders, she hisses: “Get inside the bus. He can’t hurt us there and we’ll cut off the brat before she gets to the highway.” Followed by sponge bombs, the three scurry onto the bus. Just as Ms. Perfect expected, Nathan’s next bombs go splat on the windshield and Yssy sticks out her tongue. “Crabcakes,” Nathan mutters when he realizes his ammo can’t touch them now. “
For Ecto, New Year’s is more or less the same as Christmas. The same warm, gooey feeling. The same close-knit spirit. Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte has banned the manufacture and sale of firecrackers, the shooting of which has been a well-loved tradition for centuries and can be traced all the way back to the Spanish colonial era. The exact inventors and originators were the Chinese, who believed that noise would drive away bad luck and bad spirits. According to Mr. and Mrs. Lapuz, the Filipinos seem sadder now, having been robbed of the most thrilling and spectacular means of making noise. But according to health and safety records, hospital personnel can rest easier because the ERs wouldn’t be packed with casualties this time around. Just the New Year’s before last, it was like a war zone on the streets what of households competing for the biggest bang to welcome the new year. Many men got drunk out of their minds and then tried to light a firecracker with the non-PC name
After Mass, Kate and Nate buy rice cakes at the town square. One is the awesomely purple puto bumbong and another the yellow bibingka. They also buy roasted chestnuts and bring all the treats home to Mr. and Mrs. Lapuz. On one trip to a very crowded shopping mall, Ecto sees a Santa Claus impersonator. Curiously, the Santa is Caucasian and not brown-skinned like most of the Filipinos. Of course Ecto has already figured out by himself that Santa isn’t real. To his surprise, after they get back home, Kate insists on teaching him the hooman custom of hanging a stocking. On the desktop of her computer, Kate shows him a folder that she has named “Ecto’s Stocking”. She then goes through all the trouble of changing her wallpaper to a fireplace and dragging the folder onto the 2D mantelpiece. “What for?” he asks her through her smartphone’s loudspeaker. Her smartphone is open and showing the My Dream Boyfriend app, right into the inside of Ecto’s bedroom. Ecto’s wearing a knit sweater
With a little help from Terra, Kate downloads the My Dream Boyfriend App again with some customizations. Because Ecto isn’t bound by any one platform anymore, he’s capable of some manner of fission, where he splits and replicates himself while also dividing his consciousness among all his manifestations. It’s like Doctor Strange’s clones when they were fighting Thanos, but in Ecto’s case, each and every duplicate is much more than an illusion and is a sentient and perfect version of himself. This allows him to be both in Nate’s microchip implant while back in his virtual bedroom inside the My Dream Boyfriend app on Kate’s smartphone. At any time, he can also perform fusion and re-absorb his manifestations. Terra removed the boyfriend creation window because of course Kate doesn’t need it anymore. Ecto wanted his virtual bedroom exactly as it was. He could easily “slide” into his other cribs anyway, like the old orange, pink and red Provençal one on Dungeon Raydens which he was able
It’s already 6 pm when Nate finishes his social host obligations and comes looking for Kate. He doesn’t need to look hard though because earlier, Kate sent him a text saying she’s waiting for him in the Council office. Nate has a spring in his step and is smiling ear to ear. The scratches on his face are still stinging but, before the closing ceremony, Nurse Judy cleaned and applied Band-Aid on them. Nate can’t hide his excitement in seeing his GF again after they’ve taken care of all their responsibilities. {That kiss on the track was supernova-hot. I hope we make out too.} When he finds the office door locked, oddly enough, he knocks and calls out uncertainly: “Kate?” He hears her move inside the room and then the door swings open. The sight of her face wipes his smile off. She’s been crying in the dim. She has the look of someone who has just had herself a good cry. Her eyes look cleansed and exposed, indeed like pure windows into her soul. Her lips are tightly set in a line, as
Kate is alone in the Student Council office tidying up. Nate’s off wrapping things up with his manager and the film crew and saying goodbye to everybody, including his bandmates. The trophy that STEM 12 won is now in the 12-Everest homeroom, because the bulk of tournament champions is there. Kate’s classmates are all posing with it and gushing at how shiny it is. This year’s Intrams was perfect. Kate couldn’t ask for anything more. She has once again been reminded of the importance of having balance in life; of, as cheesy as it sounds, having both a sound mind and a sound body. It felt good to do something physical, to be away from the rigors of school work and the false urgency of the Internet. But the heart of the matter is, she’s blissfully content because she has a boyfriend and she didn’t make a mistake in choosing him. In fact, she made a brilliant choice. An undertow to her joy is a silent prayer that she has finally broken the curse that she felt had hung over her ever since
“OMG!” Mr. Romero says the word in everyone’s mind as they watch the pitiful scene. “Policarpio’s crawling to the baton exchange. Quick! Somebody help him! Help him!” Reggie is the first to break the spell of paralysis. He leaps over the rail and onto the track. He and Jared manage to run towards him before the alert CAT volunteers practice crowd control and stop others from joining. Reggie reaches Nate’s side. “No!” Nate screams vehemently. “Don’t touch me! Don’t touch me! I have to do this by myself.” “But hyung,” Jared says, having stopped next to Reggie, “you don’t have to do this. You don’t have to prove anything.” “Yes… I… do,” Nate grunts as he crawls forward foot by precious foot. “Let us help you,” Reggie pleads. “You don’t have to do this alone.” “Don’t come closer!” Nate barks, spittle flying between his gritted teeth. In what feels like eternity, he reaches the changeover zone and Kate’s crouched form. Her eyes are glassy and full of pity for him. He hates that loo
By Friday morning, STEM 12 has won a total of 7 champion ribbons and several ones as runner-up. This makes them a leading candidate for overall champion. As Kate has anticipated, the non-sports events buoyed them. Apart from Francine and her escort winning Mr. and Mrs. Intrams, Grace and her benchwarmers won the bench cheer. It didn’t hurt either that the Bali Girls minus setter Lor were at the top of their game. And Nate, to everyone’s astonishment, is actually a Filipino Usain Bolt in the making. {Your BF’s Superman,} Nate’s words have been echoing inside Kate’s head since Wednesday, along with the news reporter’s: {Idol, social catalyst and Internet detective. Is there anything that Cyber can’t do?} But STEM 12 didn’t exactly win all their wins. Just like in last year’s Intrams, several games have been forfeited. An opposing team either failed to meet the minimum number of players required to start the game or failed to appear at the venue within the 15-minute grace period. On CIT
The crowd of hysterical girls in front, held back only by a cordon of CAT cadets from junior high, are screaming the names of DMG members: “Cyber! Reggie! Jared! Sonic! Neo!” Seemingly from out of nowhere, they’ve whipped out banners and signs. Instead of the usual glow-in-the-dark Korean lettering for an evening K-pop concert, there’s a slew of English ones interspersed with the name of a particular artist or of the whole band. | IT’S MY BIRTHDAY CYBER, YOU ARE MY PRESENT DUMP KATE TAKE ME I WOULD SELL MY SIBLINGS FOR YOU I LOVE YOU MORE THAN FREE WIFI DON’T STOP INSPIRING ME! CAN I BE YOUR HAIRDRESSER? ALL I WANT FOR X-MAS IS A PIC WITH JARED DMG We have 5 fingers enough for 5 wedding rings SPIT ON ME CYBER | An English-speaking Filipino director is riding a crane and shooting high up in the aisle of the audience seats. His staff is scattered on the edges and near the stage, operating or holding up every manner of equipment. DMG plays their covers of the most popular s
On Tuesday, they have the same brain-hurting and nose-bleeding calculations in Physics and Chemistry. The only thing different is DMG’s closed-door rehearsal at the chapel-slash-auditorium 500 meters east. Nate has been exempted by Principal Aguilar personally from any school work or quiz. The whole campus is abuzz and on edge at every sighting of truck and van with tinted windows down Campus Drive and onwards to the auditorium. Kate has also prepared paper lots in an empty pencil case for the Secret Santa next month. She lets every Everester pick their recipient, including her own name. Kate has set the budget at “No Fixed Price” because she knows not all students are financially comfortable. When only two pieces of folded paper remain (one for Nate and one for her), she picks her recipient and is both excited and nervous to see that it’s Grace. She keeps the last piece of paper, of course unopened, for Nate. {Huh,} she thinks to herself afterwards. {What gift can I give somebod