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Chapter 52: Call of Duty
Last Updated:
2024-02-05 21:16:31
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The Boyfriend App Chapter 53: The Drill Sergeant
Colonel Anders’s name isn’t really Colonel Anders. First off, his rank is just a Master Sergeant. Second, his full name is Wenceslao ANDRES Alunan. Everybody just calls him Colonel Anders after the KFC founder on account of his being "Ander Da Saya" – literally “under the skirt”. No matter how ferocious he is to his cadets, he’s always meek and a yes man in front of Ms. Perfect (not her real name). Ms. Perfect is camp vice-president, camp counsellor and all-around Thanos. Colonel Anders has a ruptured eardrum sustained not from a firefight or anything but from hazing when he was still in the Army barracks. Now he’s an early retiree and is the sole Military Service instructor of Camp Unplugged’s small and fledgling ROTC unit. Because of his handicap, he has retained and in fact worsened the habit of speaking 30 decibels higher and showering you in spittle. His favorite phrases, as parodied countless times behind his back, are: “Gutdemit!” (Goddammit) “Stik tu da wol!” (Stick to the wal
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Majority of the campers are boys because game addiction is their thing – to be exact, Dungeon Raydens-addiction. Dungeon Raydens is a sandbox-style MMORPG that’s a one-stop-shop for a lot of things. Kate remembers that, when Ecto was still around (darn, it hurt to think that), they did almost everything there except PvP and the MOBA-esque Battle Royale end game, which Ecto abhorred for their violence. They studied together in Academia mode to learn life skills such as alchemy, wizardry, trading, cooking and so on. They built their own house in Open World and then had it transplanted to Utopia, where housing was instanced but you could open your home to the public. This way, she and Ecto could play house and play shop at the same time with their NPC butler named Alfred. They purchased and raised their pet Direffin (Direwolf + griffin) named Max (short for Maximus Aurelius). They hunted, tamed and rode various mounts like dragons and unicorns, and used fake IDs at the Inn of Bedlem in t
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Kate’s confession finally happened one night when her ma was lying on Kate’s bed; something Mrs. Lapuz had taken to doing again when the memory of the cataclysmic after-prom was still fresh in Kate’s mind, resulting in consecutive bad dreams of facing Josh and his gang and, more tragically, losing Ecto. Kate had woken up drenched in sweat, her heart hammering in her chest, and her ma calmed her down by rubbing her back first with a towel and then with Mrs. Lapuz’s own calloused hands. Kate recalled the countless times her ma did that whenever she had a cold or a cough as a kid. The touch alone was enough to evoke in her the smell of Vicks VapoRub, another of her ma’s signature homey scents. “Why do you keep calling out the puppy’s name in your sleep?” Mrs. Lapuz whispered when Kate had calmed down a little. “Do I?” Kate asked innocently. “I don’t remember.” That was only partly true. Weeks after the incident, Kate had gone back to living her normal life both at home and at school
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“All right, well, let’s see… in a typical province, you’ll see plenty of green: trees, shrubs, flowers, a paddy field in your own backyard. There, we only had earth that turns to mud come the rainy season. And maybe some basalt pebbles that we gathered from the nearby beach and added to our patio. “Utility poles were few and far between and easily knocked down by typhoons, so huge swathes of land were unlit and most denizens hurried to be home by nightfall. And between kerosene lamps and flashlights, the dark was absolute indeed. Like a sea of ink. Or rather, like the end of the world had come in the form of two conical hats pressed bottom to bottom and brim to brim. I guess that’s why superstitions and folk stories were so persistent. “The hub of life in our village was a solitary mom-and-pop store owned by the wife of a retired merchant seaman. The family had a stainless Willys MB jeep that they hauled supplies on from what was already the nearest and biggest market at ten kilomete
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Kate has to cut her reminiscing short because the homesickness is getting real. They’ve also finished the day’s march and are now on their way back to the dorms. Colonel Anders yells “GRAAAAPA SHARK!” for the umpteenth time and every cadet mutters “Doo doo doo” while slouched like deflated balloons. Kate thinks that if even just a single Fitbit was allowed in camp, it would probably tell them that they had taken over 6K steps today. What no wearable would be able to monitor though is how two cadets (one boy and one girl; those who missed breakfast) had to be left behind on the side of the street and one boy (Nathan) threw yet another tantrum by shouting back at Colonel Anders: “You’re not my father!” The last cost them 50 push-ups as a group. That’s one thing you need to learn about military service training in Camp Unplugged: One cadet’s sin is everyone’s Calvary. Contrary to the lesson that Colonel Anders wants to teach, this tradition actually connects with and feeds the hate cult
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In the past, you could see everything there was to see, or everything the Filipino family wanted you to see, at the altar of school diplomas posted on the wall of every Filipino home. These days, the wall has of course become virtual and the diplomas have borne fruit – of sorts. You can tell more about a Filipino family by looking at the gadgets and appliances they own (or are paying off in installments); which also say a thing or two about consumerism and the warped value of “keeping up with the Cruzes” in the typical Filipino family. In the case of the Lapuzes, they have a fridge and toaster but no microwave or blender, an ABS-CBN TVplus TV box (with eternally lousy GMA-7 signal!) but no cable, three electric fans and no AC. They don’t have a washing machine and have resolved to do the laundry by hand. They have a rice cooker and a stovetop kettle with the steam whistle, an iron and an ironing board (locally known as a “horse”) and a stove that’s fueled by an LPG cylinder. They hav
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At the garage, Mr. Lapuz would sometimes wonder about the complex electricals of street race-modified cars and all the modern sensors and on-board computers. Frankly, in Elmer’s Auto Repair where he works, they often lack the proper tools (for a while, they didn’t have a torch) and have to do with outdated ones. They have this hankering for old-school ways and MacGyver means. But they valued experience over education and Mr. Lapuz learned all the tricks of the trade as an apprentice. He clawed his way up to senior mechanic. He didn’t go to university or take a technical program at TESDA. He’s more of a gut-feel than a computer-diagnosis mechanic, but what he most certainly isn’t is a parts-replacement mechanic like some of those “Master Automobile Technicians”. Despite their fancy diplomas and certificates, they don’t know a thing about carburetors and they can’t fix a car that doesn’t have a port to plug their computers into. They always have to wait for a computer screen to tell the
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Mrs. Lapuz met Ms. Blanca at the diner where she worked. Indeed, she met all sorts of people there and had a network as vast as her Fasebook friends list was miniscule. She knew policemen, city hall clerks, gay hairstylists, students of both CITS and rival schools, factory workers, bankers, nurses, contact center agents, a dentist, an optometrist, a masseuse, an acupuncturist, a transcriptionist, a virtual assistant, and now the vice president of an Internet addiction rehabilitation camp. “Kate, my child,” Mrs. Lapuz called out and Kate had to slowly and quietly crawl back up to the front of her room. Still down on all fours, she reached for the door knob and let her door squeak on its hinges. “Yes?” she shouted back uncertainly. “Come down here, Kate-kins. We have a visitor.” Kate shut her room door again and finally stood up. She went down the stairs the normal way, looking exactly like how she was feeling: a teen who had done something wrong. “Kate, my child, sit over here wit
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The Boyfriend App Epilogue: The Microscopic Villain
For Ecto, New Year’s is more or less the same as Christmas. The same warm, gooey feeling. The same close-knit spirit. Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte has banned the manufacture and sale of firecrackers, the shooting of which has been a well-loved tradition for centuries and can be traced all the way back to the Spanish colonial era. The exact inventors and originators were the Chinese, who believed that noise would drive away bad luck and bad spirits. According to Mr. and Mrs. Lapuz, the Filipinos seem sadder now, having been robbed of the most thrilling and spectacular means of making noise. But according to health and safety records, hospital personnel can rest easier because the ERs wouldn’t be packed with casualties this time around. Just the New Year’s before last, it was like a war zone on the streets what of households competing for the biggest bang to welcome the new year. Many men got drunk out of their minds and then tried to light a firecracker with the non-PC name
The Boyfriend App Chapter 175: Ecto's Stocking
After Mass, Kate and Nate buy rice cakes at the town square. One is the awesomely purple puto bumbong and another the yellow bibingka. They also buy roasted chestnuts and bring all the treats home to Mr. and Mrs. Lapuz. On one trip to a very crowded shopping mall, Ecto sees a Santa Claus impersonator. Curiously, the Santa is Caucasian and not brown-skinned like most of the Filipinos. Of course Ecto has already figured out by himself that Santa isn’t real. To his surprise, after they get back home, Kate insists on teaching him the hooman custom of hanging a stocking. On the desktop of her computer, Kate shows him a folder that she has named “Ecto’s Stocking”. She then goes through all the trouble of changing her wallpaper to a fireplace and dragging the folder onto the 2D mantelpiece. “What for?” he asks her through her smartphone’s loudspeaker. Her smartphone is open and showing the My Dream Boyfriend app, right into the inside of Ecto’s bedroom. Ecto’s wearing a knit sweater
The Boyfriend App Chapter 174: The Holidays
With a little help from Terra, Kate downloads the My Dream Boyfriend App again with some customizations. Because Ecto isn’t bound by any one platform anymore, he’s capable of some manner of fission, where he splits and replicates himself while also dividing his consciousness among all his manifestations. It’s like Doctor Strange’s clones when they were fighting Thanos, but in Ecto’s case, each and every duplicate is much more than an illusion and is a sentient and perfect version of himself. This allows him to be both in Nate’s microchip implant while back in his virtual bedroom inside the My Dream Boyfriend app on Kate’s smartphone. At any time, he can also perform fusion and re-absorb his manifestations. Terra removed the boyfriend creation window because of course Kate doesn’t need it anymore. Ecto wanted his virtual bedroom exactly as it was. He could easily “slide” into his other cribs anyway, like the old orange, pink and red Provençal one on Dungeon Raydens which he was able
The Boyfriend App Chapter 173: The Truth
It’s already 6 pm when Nate finishes his social host obligations and comes looking for Kate. He doesn’t need to look hard though because earlier, Kate sent him a text saying she’s waiting for him in the Council office. Nate has a spring in his step and is smiling ear to ear. The scratches on his face are still stinging but, before the closing ceremony, Nurse Judy cleaned and applied Band-Aid on them. Nate can’t hide his excitement in seeing his GF again after they’ve taken care of all their responsibilities. {That kiss on the track was supernova-hot. I hope we make out too.} When he finds the office door locked, oddly enough, he knocks and calls out uncertainly: “Kate?” He hears her move inside the room and then the door swings open. The sight of her face wipes his smile off. She’s been crying in the dim. She has the look of someone who has just had herself a good cry. Her eyes look cleansed and exposed, indeed like pure windows into her soul. Her lips are tightly set in a line, as
The Boyfriend App Chapter 172: The Anagram
Kate is alone in the Student Council office tidying up. Nate’s off wrapping things up with his manager and the film crew and saying goodbye to everybody, including his bandmates. The trophy that STEM 12 won is now in the 12-Everest homeroom, because the bulk of tournament champions is there. Kate’s classmates are all posing with it and gushing at how shiny it is. This year’s Intrams was perfect. Kate couldn’t ask for anything more. She has once again been reminded of the importance of having balance in life; of, as cheesy as it sounds, having both a sound mind and a sound body. It felt good to do something physical, to be away from the rigors of school work and the false urgency of the Internet. But the heart of the matter is, she’s blissfully content because she has a boyfriend and she didn’t make a mistake in choosing him. In fact, she made a brilliant choice. An undertow to her joy is a silent prayer that she has finally broken the curse that she felt had hung over her ever since
The Boyfriend App Chapter 171: The Cheater
“OMG!” Mr. Romero says the word in everyone’s mind as they watch the pitiful scene. “Policarpio’s crawling to the baton exchange. Quick! Somebody help him! Help him!” Reggie is the first to break the spell of paralysis. He leaps over the rail and onto the track. He and Jared manage to run towards him before the alert CAT volunteers practice crowd control and stop others from joining. Reggie reaches Nate’s side. “No!” Nate screams vehemently. “Don’t touch me! Don’t touch me! I have to do this by myself.” “But hyung,” Jared says, having stopped next to Reggie, “you don’t have to do this. You don’t have to prove anything.” “Yes… I… do,” Nate grunts as he crawls forward foot by precious foot. “Let us help you,” Reggie pleads. “You don’t have to do this alone.” “Don’t come closer!” Nate barks, spittle flying between his gritted teeth. In what feels like eternity, he reaches the changeover zone and Kate’s crouched form. Her eyes are glassy and full of pity for him. He hates that loo
The Boyfriend App Chapter 170: The Race
By Friday morning, STEM 12 has won a total of 7 champion ribbons and several ones as runner-up. This makes them a leading candidate for overall champion. As Kate has anticipated, the non-sports events buoyed them. Apart from Francine and her escort winning Mr. and Mrs. Intrams, Grace and her benchwarmers won the bench cheer. It didn’t hurt either that the Bali Girls minus setter Lor were at the top of their game. And Nate, to everyone’s astonishment, is actually a Filipino Usain Bolt in the making. {Your BF’s Superman,} Nate’s words have been echoing inside Kate’s head since Wednesday, along with the news reporter’s: {Idol, social catalyst and Internet detective. Is there anything that Cyber can’t do?} But STEM 12 didn’t exactly win all their wins. Just like in last year’s Intrams, several games have been forfeited. An opposing team either failed to meet the minimum number of players required to start the game or failed to appear at the venue within the 15-minute grace period. On CIT
The Boyfriend App Chapter 169: Music Madness
The crowd of hysterical girls in front, held back only by a cordon of CAT cadets from junior high, are screaming the names of DMG members: “Cyber! Reggie! Jared! Sonic! Neo!” Seemingly from out of nowhere, they’ve whipped out banners and signs. Instead of the usual glow-in-the-dark Korean lettering for an evening K-pop concert, there’s a slew of English ones interspersed with the name of a particular artist or of the whole band. | IT’S MY BIRTHDAY CYBER, YOU ARE MY PRESENT DUMP KATE TAKE ME I WOULD SELL MY SIBLINGS FOR YOU I LOVE YOU MORE THAN FREE WIFI DON’T STOP INSPIRING ME! CAN I BE YOUR HAIRDRESSER? ALL I WANT FOR X-MAS IS A PIC WITH JARED DMG We have 5 fingers enough for 5 wedding rings SPIT ON ME CYBER | An English-speaking Filipino director is riding a crane and shooting high up in the aisle of the audience seats. His staff is scattered on the edges and near the stage, operating or holding up every manner of equipment. DMG plays their covers of the most popular s
The Boyfriend App Chapter 168: Within the Walls
On Tuesday, they have the same brain-hurting and nose-bleeding calculations in Physics and Chemistry. The only thing different is DMG’s closed-door rehearsal at the chapel-slash-auditorium 500 meters east. Nate has been exempted by Principal Aguilar personally from any school work or quiz. The whole campus is abuzz and on edge at every sighting of truck and van with tinted windows down Campus Drive and onwards to the auditorium. Kate has also prepared paper lots in an empty pencil case for the Secret Santa next month. She lets every Everester pick their recipient, including her own name. Kate has set the budget at “No Fixed Price” because she knows not all students are financially comfortable. When only two pieces of folded paper remain (one for Nate and one for her), she picks her recipient and is both excited and nervous to see that it’s Grace. She keeps the last piece of paper, of course unopened, for Nate. {Huh,} she thinks to herself afterwards. {What gift can I give somebod
