Fantasy was comfortable and a way to escape the dread of everyday life. It was easier to think you were strong and powerful, than admitting that you were weak. It was so much easier to pretend that you were some sort of lone wolf warrior than a weak man, bruised and broken after so many failed ventures, trying to uselessly appease your own bruised and broken ego all the while.
That's the truth, isn't it.
Life is hard, and its painful to face that suffering head on. You need to be able to look away, to explain that suffering away, to belittle it, to pretend that it isn't there, just so you can justify your own inaction.
So why do we enjoy tragedy and sadness so much?
Why are you even here?
It can't be the world building considering its so shoddily done by all metrics, only really tossed in when the author remembers that she needs to explain herself. It can't be the characters. They're pretty much all author
Maybe it didn't matter having a last name. Maybe it didn't matter having a proper person to be or identity. There was nothing for him after all.Did he even deserve the name Jasper?Red_Two, as a name, was wasted on him, as the useless man who ran away without doing anything worthy for anything.No.Last names didn't matter.Names didn't matter at all.Not to him anyway.Jasper was dead, and he died with Emmet."I don't have one," the now nameless man mumbled out, before quickly realising that the man may not be able to hear his quiet voice.The bearded man gave a great bellowing laugh, all his limbs moving along with the action as he threw his head back in delight. His voice boomed across the room, and his chest bulged out as if it struggled to contain al
"I should go home," the bandaged man gulped out, breathing in and as out, as slowly as he could to the counts of five.The bearded man blinked, eyes wide and slack jawed at the reaction.You like that you bearded bastard?! I can flick between moods too, you know! You're not the only one who can do that fucking stupid trick! What does it feel like, to get a taste of your own medicine, you confusing bastard?!The bandaged man wondered whether he should actually ask what a crayon was or not, as the bearded man gave another bellowing laugh, tipping his head back once more as he did so.The bandaged man blinked in annoyance and scowled silently as he waited for the other to finish his now seemingly hysterical, never ending series of giggles. The bastard just kept fucking giggling, as if he was the happiest man in the world, something the bandaged man knew for a fact wasn't true at all, seeing the outline
Jasper led on Lila's bed as she played pretend with the same tea party set with the same re-appropriated box from before.New pretend chairs were set up with two plastic bowls turned upside down. One held up a wooden spoon, leaning on the table, decorated by long, pink string hair and plastic eyes stuck on the front, the other a plastic cup, also turned upside down, with drawn on eyes and a giant, happy smile.It was an uncomfortably wide smile too, reaching all across the front and side, curved upwards and without any hitch or wobble in the stroke. The eyes were perfectly round too, as if traced onto the cup, looking too perfect and happy, in the cold silence of the room.The plastic cutlery rattled and gave cheap clicks as Lila herself, sitting on an upturned metal bowl instead of plastic, said metal bowl sitting slightly shorter than the plastic bowls, but still keeping her taller than the spoon and cup.
"Why aren't you mad at me?"Lila peeked out from before the door the next day, at 8:00 PM the next morning. Her face was half hidden in shadows, the first sight of her that Jasper had seen since the day prior.Jasper shifted his neck towards the door, his dull silver eyes turning towards her. He could barely move, his muscles creaking and aching with the moment. Lila's mother had arrived to feed him and move his muscles through exercises to prevent muscle atrophy.She had a sinister smile throughout the whole process, and Jasper could see where Lila had learned her own hollow expression, but something was hidden behind her mother's smile. Whenever she looked down at him, Jasper had the distinct idea that she wasn't seeing him, but somebody else's face had superceeded his own and was inhabiting the space designated for his, in her mind.Her movements were maechanical and her hands were cold, flinching
"Lila. There are a few things, that I need you to know. I can... I understand you. I can't get mad at you. Because, if I did, it would mean that I'm- that... that I've, no. If I get angry at you, it only means that I understand nothing. I've learned nothing. That I've spent my entire life, not learnt anything about myself, or the world around me," Jasper stuttered out in the loudest and most confident voice he was able to manage, trying to ignore all the places where he wheezed, choked, and wobbled, while watching Lila slip into the room, softly shutting the door behind her and shuffling towards him.Her head faced downwards, some of her hair falling to obscure her face. She wore another frilly dress with another white shirt underneath, and Jasper had to concede that he knew nothing about her as an individual, her image twisted with her mother's.He didn't know if she liked books. If she liked tea parties. If she liked frilly dresses. Or why she liked them. If she was
By the sun was sinking under the horizon, many tears had been shed. The two, small, wounded people on the bed had now found themselves in companiable silence, with the occasional sniffles, softly breaking through the silence, which eventually asserted itself again.They breathed hard together, both of them, matching each other with the count of five, only differing with the heaviness of their gasps for air.At every beginning of a small, quiet period, there was a tiny uprise in tears, further soaking the pink blanket, dying it crimson for the afternoon and evening.Jasper felt lighter, as if something had been lifted from his chest, and is if he could finally force his legs into a weak twitch, following the instructions of his brain for the first time in forever, and crane his neck whichever way he could, the only part of him not shattered. His hand was the warmest part of him, clutched by Lila, as she held onto him, pulling at his skin and hoping.Prayin
The loud, chopping wind thrust itself at the window, the noise smashing through the glass, regardless, and alerting everyone in the building of the noise. There was an inescapable screeching noise accompanying it, bouncing off all the walls, and finding its way into Emmet's office, the grating sound of metal scraping against metal wearing him down and breaking through his defenses.It burrowed its way into his ears, he felt it pierce his heart, slashing the organ down to fall to the bottom of chest.The only thing louder than the wind, which sliced through the blades of the helicopter ruthlessly, was the blood rushing through his ears.Emmet wanted to hope that nothing was making sense.Why was command here?Their next scheduled visit was weeks away.There was no prior notification.He had to move Jasper to somewhere safe.
Emmet laid on the office floor, curled over into a ball, cradling his broken hand to his chest, with the paper sheet with the copy of Doctor Johnstone's email resting on his head.The door slammed shut behind Doctor Johnstone, and the room almost felt heavier without her guiding presence, her strict and stern face whenever there was adversity, and her ability to project solidarity, even where there was none.It was only something small that broke in Emmet's chest, lamenting for what he had said to her, how he had treated her over the years.He had just offered to give her his job, like one of those predatory managers that only ever showed up in the news whenever something horrible had happened. He had behaved like one of those.Aunt Minnie would be completely ashamed of him. If she ever found out, she would grab him by the hair, and drag him over a desk with it, as he had seen her do to somebody befo
“Why’re you sleeping on the floor like that? Come on, get up. You’ll hurt your back doing that,” Doctor Marigold chided, dragging all her bits of heavy machinery around the office space to prepare for her demonstration.Behind her, Lila remained still.“I know that you’re not dead. Come, get up already,” she called out, stepping over a few sheets of paper that she had laid out to grab Lila by the shoulder and heave her up into sitting.The stubborn girl just flopped down again, not opening her eyes.“If you get the fuck up, we can move the flight a week forward so you can stop worrying about it,” Lucy Marigold shouted across the room.Like a rubber band, Lila snapped back up and finally opened her eyes.It had been harder to see the bags below them when they had been closed and Doctor Marigold wondered if she should buy the girl some sleep tablets.“I’m awake,” Li
Yolanda seemed to understand that she needed to back off and stop teasing Gretel, when the other woman's eyes suddenly misted over, and it was if she was no longer a part of this world.She kept the bubbling annoyance within her away from her face, putting on instead a mask of concern as she reached out and poked Gretel's arms, trying to maybe prod her out of her stupor and bring her back from the recesses of her mind.Yolanda had never actually seen somebody collapse inwards to a catatonic state over her own actions.It was interesting to see it all happen and fold out in front of her.She poked Gretel again, touching her in the face lightly to see if that would possibly work to pull the other woman out of her mind and back into the world where she was needed proper.It wouldn't reflect well on her if Gretel didn't wake up within the hour.It didn't feel as
When she awoke, she was sat ready to eat and was dressed just like her mother, in a pastel blouse and a lungi down to the floor.Lila looked down at herself and jumped when she heard rattling, noticing the ten, or so, bangles on each arm and the lines of mehndi that ran down all the way to the hems of her sleeves, resting halfway between her shoulders and elbows. A pin held her blouse shut at the top and a quick once over of her hair, with one of her hands, revealed that it had been styled in a simple bun and adorned with flowers.“This is weirdly romantic,” Lila commented, staring at the lit candles nestled in the variously sized candelabrums set around the circular room.There was no door, but a giant window which led to a balcony outside. There was no ceiling but the walls reaching upwards, all the way up, until they formed a dome in the same shade of dull brown that coated the floor and the giant, round table in the centre.The only dishes
“So, is she finally asleep?” Emmet asked the boy stood behind the counter. He was exceedingly slim for someone surrounded by sugar all day and Emmet could make out the outlines of his spindly elbows through his shirt. His face held a no nonsense, blunt, and almost bored expression. “Yeah, she is. She’s been knocked out on the sofa since I sent her back there,” Kai answered the long haired man in front of him, his hair pulled back by a ribbon matching his eyes before being pulled over his shoulder once more. He looked vain. “Oh good. Don’t tell her that I was involved,” the man asked, putting both his palms up to face Kai. “I’m telling her that you’re a fucking weirdo for that,” was the scowled answer. “No. Seriously, don’t tell her. She doesn’t like me and I don’t like her. She’s known my partner for longer that I’ve known him. She doesn’t trust me with him. Why’re you making that face?” Emmet tried to justify himself before giving up
“Are you sure that you’re getting enough sleep?” Kai asked Lila, watching her sway on her feet and clutching the front counter.“Yes,” she gasped, dropping her head into her hands, elbows on the table.“Go and lie down on the sofa. Go to sleep for a bit. I’ll wake you up when I have to leave for college,” Kai instructed her, tapping her on the shoulders and shepherding her towards the office.“… fine,” she conceded, letting Kai move her along towards the back.“You know that this just proves my point,” Kai pointed out, pushing her through the boundary of the door and closing it behind her.“Fine,” she whispered back to him, talking into the silence of the office.She let herself fall over the sofa, draping her upper body over the arm rest and letting her head be cushioned by the pillows. Shuffling a bit over to put her body entirely on the sofa, Lila f
“One! Two! Three! Four! Five!Now again!One! Two! Three! Four! Five!Now keep on going!”Lila landed each punch, timing her breaths to the count as she moved her fists, dodging underneath the swing that came towards her head, before blocking the second hit that came to her and moving along with the force of the fist that hit her arm.The swinging punching bag forced distance between Lila and Tweedle Dum, and she stepped back to where she was stood before, within the path of the moving bad, to put more distance between him and her.“One! Two! Three! Four! Five!One! Two! Three! Four! Five!”Lila punched the bag once more, landing all of her hits.“Okay, time for a break,” Tweedle Dum announced, grabbing the punching bag and pulling it back to him as Lila moved away from the centre of the room, sitting down on one of the rickety plastic chairs at the side of the room.She took of
“Bitch! Why’d you run off and abandon me like that!?” Lila shouted from behind the counter when Kai finally walked back into the store.She was waving her hands about and wore an apron covered in flour as the single customer in the store, an old man precariously balancing on his cane, slept whilst leaning on the radiator.“I thought that you wanted some bonding time with your family so I left you to do that it private!” Kai answered her, tiptoeing past their unconscious patron, in a combination of whispering and shouting.“They’re hardly my family and you left us in the middle of a public café!” Lila cried, not modulating her voice at all.In the background, the old man began to snore.“But you still talk to them a lot like you do to me, so I let you, and besides, I got about fifty more pages of Good Omens done in Waterstones,” Kai appealed, finally at the counter and opening up the
Gretel and Silver had their fun as he continued to teach her how the interface worked and how he had managed to figure out that the system was an older model from the lack of integration between the screen and the touch pad, and explaining how easily it would potentially be to do so once the technology, as displayed in this device, had been demonstrated and established to work in a functional product."We were working on something like this as well, back in the workshops back home for the company that I was in the research and development department for. We were trying to get our motion sensors to be as small as possible for more commercial and personal use of technology that we could sell to the public and those who couldn't afford the contact computers.We had no idea on how their tech worked, because of trade and company secrets and all, but we managed to piece together a few things by looking at the patents and when we bought a few and m
“Alright, the shop’s free. Why are you actually here?” Lila questioned, crossing her arms and staring down at the tablecloth of Jasper and Emmet’s table.“I’ve got lesson now. I’ll be back in a few hours,” the teenage boy behind Lila announced, picking up a bag that had been hidden behind the counter the entire time and rushing outside.Lila continued to stand there, waiting for a reply.Jasper couldn’t help but notice that she wasn’t meeting either his or Emmet’s eyes.“Are you planning to leave us?” he asked her back.Lila’s fingers dug into the creases of her shirt,” I’m going to be leaving for a trip soon, and I’ll be back as soon as I can. Kai’ll be running the shop and will be looking after things, broadly. He lives here now and I scheduled my leave for when his school term ends so he can take care of things.”“On thi