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Chapter 33: Lebensmüde
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2024-10-29 19:42:56"Lebensmüde. It means tired of life. I'm going to get you some food."
Jasper wanted Emmet. He wanted Emmet. But he had left Emmet behind. He had betrayed Emmet. He didn't deserve Emmet.
What did Red_Two want? What did Red_Two really want?
Jasper thought back to when he was Red_Two and thought back to the dead man in front of the library.
He remembered back the pool of blood, reaching out to him, rolling along the grey floors towards his legs, whipping itself up to try its hardest to wrap itself around his hands. It was a crying, sobbing, pathetic mess. It was pitiful and lonely, trying to find company wherever it could.
It was lonely and small, begging for any small scrap of love and acceptance and affection. That blood was a small wish. It wanted to not be alone in it's final moments. It wanted to have the comfort that it was human, in a world that treated it less than human. It needed to know that it had lived,
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It was the little girl.Jasper miserably knew that he could easily extract when and where he was from her, but he felt sick to his stomach. Her eyes maybe dark, but she looked too much like him, from her dark hair and sharp slant of her nose.It hurt his eyes and chest to look at her. If he gave her twenty years, she would look like his twin, save for the eyes. All he could do was squeeze his eyes shut, and hope that she would just leave."I've got your cornflakes," she announced from the side of the bed, defiant.The silence was deafening as he pretended to stay asleep, praying that she would go away. There were no footsteps and only the sound of breathing.Jasper fought against every instinct to stop his eyes from twitching, relishing in the latent pain of his wounds, grounding him, keeping him from floating off into the recesses of his mind and to forge
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The little girl was precise in her movements, her eyes sharp and hands steady, unshaking. She had placed herself down on the bed, on top of her pink blanket, and looked down upon Jasper as he slowly ate, feeling every twinge in his jaw as he chewed the rapidly softening food.They did not speak to each other, as they did before, and Jasper distantly wondered if he was going to even be able to finish the bowl with the way he was feeling.The girl's face did not change, as she fed him, single-mindedly dedicated to her task, but as her legs began shift, and she started to rock forwards and backwards, swirling the spoon in the milk while she waited for him to chew, Jasper could tell she was getting bored."What's your name?" he asked, attempting to alleviate the awkward silence.Back before when he was like this, he remembered staunchly trying to push everyone away from him, crying and screaming, a
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Lila eventually stood up and left the room. The bowl was eventually taken from the dresser and out of the room. The sun, visible through his visible, eventually dropped below the horizon, taking all its light out of the room.Lila eventually stood up and left the room. The bowl was eventually taken from the dresser and out of the room. The sun, visible through his visible, eventually dropped below the horizon, taking all its light out of the room.But by then, Jasper had fallen asleep, his consciousness floating into the land of dreams, and out of the room.All he could see was Emmet. He saw Emmet's swirling oceanic hues. He saw Emmet's dark, long tresses. He saw the defined slope of his nose, and angular cheek bones. He was his pale, gleaming skin. He saw Emmet smiling at him, laughing, and reaching out towards him to bring him into a hug.Jasper opened his eyes, and looked up to the white ceiling.
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"Why aren't you mad at me?"Lila peeked out from before the door the next day, at 8:00 PM the next morning. Her face was half hidden in shadows, the first sight of her that Jasper had seen since the day prior.Jasper shifted his neck towards the door, his dull silver eyes turning towards her. He could barely move, his muscles creaking and aching with the moment. Lila's mother had arrived to feed him and move his muscles through exercises to prevent muscle atrophy.She had a sinister smile throughout the whole process, and Jasper could see where Lila had learned her own hollow expression, but something was hidden behind her mother's smile. Whenever she looked down at him, Jasper had the distinct idea that she wasn't seeing him, but somebody else's face had superceeded his own and was inhabiting the space designated for his, in her mind.Her movements were maechanical and her hands were cold, flinching
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