LOGINShare
Chapter 33: Lebensmüde
Last Updated:
2020-08-20 08:16:46"Lebensmüde. It means tired of life. I'm going to get you some food."
Jasper wanted Emmet. He wanted Emmet. But he had left Emmet behind. He had betrayed Emmet. He didn't deserve Emmet.
What did Red_Two want? What did Red_Two really want?
Jasper thought back to when he was Red_Two and thought back to the dead man in front of the library.
He remembered back the pool of blood, reaching out to him, rolling along the grey floors towards his legs, whipping itself up to try its hardest to wrap itself around his hands. It was a crying, sobbing, pathetic mess. It was pitiful and lonely, trying to find company wherever it could.
It was lonely and small, begging for any small scrap of love and acceptance and affection. That blood was a small wish. It wanted to not be alone in it's final moments. It wanted to have the comfort that it was human, in a world that treated it less than human. It needed to know that it had lived,
Related chapters
The Boy who Circled Time Chapter 34: Going On for a Little Longer
It was the little girl.Jasper miserably knew that he could easily extract when and where he was from her, but he felt sick to his stomach. Her eyes maybe dark, but she looked too much like him, from her dark hair and sharp slant of her nose.It hurt his eyes and chest to look at her. If he gave her twenty years, she would look like his twin, save for the eyes. All he could do was squeeze his eyes shut, and hope that she would just leave."I've got your cornflakes," she announced from the side of the bed, defiant.The silence was deafening as he pretended to stay asleep, praying that she would go away. There were no footsteps and only the sound of breathing.Jasper fought against every instinct to stop his eyes from twitching, relishing in the latent pain of his wounds, grounding him, keeping him from floating off into the recesses of his mind and to forge
Last Updated : 2020-08-20The Boy who Circled Time Chapter 35: Emotions Spread Like a Disease
The little girl was precise in her movements, her eyes sharp and hands steady, unshaking. She had placed herself down on the bed, on top of her pink blanket, and looked down upon Jasper as he slowly ate, feeling every twinge in his jaw as he chewed the rapidly softening food.They did not speak to each other, as they did before, and Jasper distantly wondered if he was going to even be able to finish the bowl with the way he was feeling.The girl's face did not change, as she fed him, single-mindedly dedicated to her task, but as her legs began shift, and she started to rock forwards and backwards, swirling the spoon in the milk while she waited for him to chew, Jasper could tell she was getting bored."What's your name?" he asked, attempting to alleviate the awkward silence.Back before when he was like this, he remembered staunchly trying to push everyone away from him, crying and screaming, a
Last Updated : 2020-08-20The Boy who Circled Time Chapter 36: Hollow Anger
Lila eventually stood up and left the room. The bowl was eventually taken from the dresser and out of the room. The sun, visible through his visible, eventually dropped below the horizon, taking all its light out of the room.Lila eventually stood up and left the room. The bowl was eventually taken from the dresser and out of the room. The sun, visible through his visible, eventually dropped below the horizon, taking all its light out of the room.But by then, Jasper had fallen asleep, his consciousness floating into the land of dreams, and out of the room.All he could see was Emmet. He saw Emmet's swirling oceanic hues. He saw Emmet's dark, long tresses. He saw the defined slope of his nose, and angular cheek bones. He was his pale, gleaming skin. He saw Emmet smiling at him, laughing, and reaching out towards him to bring him into a hug.Jasper opened his eyes, and looked up to the white ceiling.
Last Updated : 2020-08-21The Boy who Circled Time Chapter 37: A Family Name Without the Family
Fantasy was comfortable and a way to escape the dread of everyday life. It was easier to think you were strong and powerful, than admitting that you were weak. It was so much easier to pretend that you were some sort of lone wolf warrior than a weak man, bruised and broken after so many failed ventures, trying to uselessly appease your own bruised and broken ego all the while.That's the truth, isn't it.Life is hard, and its painful to face that suffering head on. You need to be able to look away, to explain that suffering away, to belittle it, to pretend that it isn't there, just so you can justify your own inaction.So why do we enjoy tragedy and sadness so much?Why are you even here?It can't be the world building considering its so shoddily done by all metrics, only really tossed in when the author remembers that she needs to explain herself. It can't be the characters. They're pretty much all author
Last Updated : 2020-08-21The Boy who Circled Time Chapter 38: The Point of the Law
Maybe it didn't matter having a last name. Maybe it didn't matter having a proper person to be or identity. There was nothing for him after all.Did he even deserve the name Jasper?Red_Two, as a name, was wasted on him, as the useless man who ran away without doing anything worthy for anything.No.Last names didn't matter.Names didn't matter at all.Not to him anyway.Jasper was dead, and he died with Emmet."I don't have one," the now nameless man mumbled out, before quickly realising that the man may not be able to hear his quiet voice.The bearded man gave a great bellowing laugh, all his limbs moving along with the action as he threw his head back in delight. His voice boomed across the room, and his chest bulged out as if it struggled to contain al
Last Updated : 2020-08-21The Boy who Circled Time Chapter 39: Red Goes Back Home to the Pallet
"I should go home," the bandaged man gulped out, breathing in and as out, as slowly as he could to the counts of five.The bearded man blinked, eyes wide and slack jawed at the reaction.You like that you bearded bastard?! I can flick between moods too, you know! You're not the only one who can do that fucking stupid trick! What does it feel like, to get a taste of your own medicine, you confusing bastard?!The bandaged man wondered whether he should actually ask what a crayon was or not, as the bearded man gave another bellowing laugh, tipping his head back once more as he did so.The bandaged man blinked in annoyance and scowled silently as he waited for the other to finish his now seemingly hysterical, never ending series of giggles. The bastard just kept fucking giggling, as if he was the happiest man in the world, something the bandaged man knew for a fact wasn't true at all, seeing the outline
Last Updated : 2020-08-21The Boy who Circled Time Chapter 40: Desensitisation
Jasper led on Lila's bed as she played pretend with the same tea party set with the same re-appropriated box from before.New pretend chairs were set up with two plastic bowls turned upside down. One held up a wooden spoon, leaning on the table, decorated by long, pink string hair and plastic eyes stuck on the front, the other a plastic cup, also turned upside down, with drawn on eyes and a giant, happy smile.It was an uncomfortably wide smile too, reaching all across the front and side, curved upwards and without any hitch or wobble in the stroke. The eyes were perfectly round too, as if traced onto the cup, looking too perfect and happy, in the cold silence of the room.The plastic cutlery rattled and gave cheap clicks as Lila herself, sitting on an upturned metal bowl instead of plastic, said metal bowl sitting slightly shorter than the plastic bowls, but still keeping her taller than the spoon and cup.
Last Updated : 2020-08-22The Boy who Circled Time Chapter 41: Following the Examples of your Heroes
"Why aren't you mad at me?"Lila peeked out from before the door the next day, at 8:00 PM the next morning. Her face was half hidden in shadows, the first sight of her that Jasper had seen since the day prior.Jasper shifted his neck towards the door, his dull silver eyes turning towards her. He could barely move, his muscles creaking and aching with the moment. Lila's mother had arrived to feed him and move his muscles through exercises to prevent muscle atrophy.She had a sinister smile throughout the whole process, and Jasper could see where Lila had learned her own hollow expression, but something was hidden behind her mother's smile. Whenever she looked down at him, Jasper had the distinct idea that she wasn't seeing him, but somebody else's face had superceeded his own and was inhabiting the space designated for his, in her mind.Her movements were maechanical and her hands were cold, flinching
Last Updated : 2020-08-22
Latest chapter
The Boy who Circled Time Chapter 371: Schematics
“Why’re you sleeping on the floor like that? Come on, get up. You’ll hurt your back doing that,” Doctor Marigold chided, dragging all her bits of heavy machinery around the office space to prepare for her demonstration.Behind her, Lila remained still.“I know that you’re not dead. Come, get up already,” she called out, stepping over a few sheets of paper that she had laid out to grab Lila by the shoulder and heave her up into sitting.The stubborn girl just flopped down again, not opening her eyes.“If you get the fuck up, we can move the flight a week forward so you can stop worrying about it,” Lucy Marigold shouted across the room.Like a rubber band, Lila snapped back up and finally opened her eyes.It had been harder to see the bags below them when they had been closed and Doctor Marigold wondered if she should buy the girl some sleep tablets.“I’m awake,” Li
The Boy who Circled Time Chapter 370: EXTRA GRETEL
Yolanda seemed to understand that she needed to back off and stop teasing Gretel, when the other woman's eyes suddenly misted over, and it was if she was no longer a part of this world.She kept the bubbling annoyance within her away from her face, putting on instead a mask of concern as she reached out and poked Gretel's arms, trying to maybe prod her out of her stupor and bring her back from the recesses of her mind.Yolanda had never actually seen somebody collapse inwards to a catatonic state over her own actions.It was interesting to see it all happen and fold out in front of her.She poked Gretel again, touching her in the face lightly to see if that would possibly work to pull the other woman out of her mind and back into the world where she was needed proper.It wouldn't reflect well on her if Gretel didn't wake up within the hour.It didn't feel as
The Boy who Circled Time Chapter 369: Thanatos
When she awoke, she was sat ready to eat and was dressed just like her mother, in a pastel blouse and a lungi down to the floor.Lila looked down at herself and jumped when she heard rattling, noticing the ten, or so, bangles on each arm and the lines of mehndi that ran down all the way to the hems of her sleeves, resting halfway between her shoulders and elbows. A pin held her blouse shut at the top and a quick once over of her hair, with one of her hands, revealed that it had been styled in a simple bun and adorned with flowers.“This is weirdly romantic,” Lila commented, staring at the lit candles nestled in the variously sized candelabrums set around the circular room.There was no door, but a giant window which led to a balcony outside. There was no ceiling but the walls reaching upwards, all the way up, until they formed a dome in the same shade of dull brown that coated the floor and the giant, round table in the centre.The only dishes
The Boy who Circled Time Chapter 368: Sleep
“So, is she finally asleep?” Emmet asked the boy stood behind the counter. He was exceedingly slim for someone surrounded by sugar all day and Emmet could make out the outlines of his spindly elbows through his shirt. His face held a no nonsense, blunt, and almost bored expression. “Yeah, she is. She’s been knocked out on the sofa since I sent her back there,” Kai answered the long haired man in front of him, his hair pulled back by a ribbon matching his eyes before being pulled over his shoulder once more. He looked vain. “Oh good. Don’t tell her that I was involved,” the man asked, putting both his palms up to face Kai. “I’m telling her that you’re a fucking weirdo for that,” was the scowled answer. “No. Seriously, don’t tell her. She doesn’t like me and I don’t like her. She’s known my partner for longer that I’ve known him. She doesn’t trust me with him. Why’re you making that face?” Emmet tried to justify himself before giving up
The Boy who Circled Time Chapter 367: Tired
“Are you sure that you’re getting enough sleep?” Kai asked Lila, watching her sway on her feet and clutching the front counter.“Yes,” she gasped, dropping her head into her hands, elbows on the table.“Go and lie down on the sofa. Go to sleep for a bit. I’ll wake you up when I have to leave for college,” Kai instructed her, tapping her on the shoulders and shepherding her towards the office.“… fine,” she conceded, letting Kai move her along towards the back.“You know that this just proves my point,” Kai pointed out, pushing her through the boundary of the door and closing it behind her.“Fine,” she whispered back to him, talking into the silence of the office.She let herself fall over the sofa, draping her upper body over the arm rest and letting her head be cushioned by the pillows. Shuffling a bit over to put her body entirely on the sofa, Lila f
The Boy who Circled Time Chapter 366: Punching Bag
“One! Two! Three! Four! Five!Now again!One! Two! Three! Four! Five!Now keep on going!”Lila landed each punch, timing her breaths to the count as she moved her fists, dodging underneath the swing that came towards her head, before blocking the second hit that came to her and moving along with the force of the fist that hit her arm.The swinging punching bag forced distance between Lila and Tweedle Dum, and she stepped back to where she was stood before, within the path of the moving bad, to put more distance between him and her.“One! Two! Three! Four! Five!One! Two! Three! Four! Five!”Lila punched the bag once more, landing all of her hits.“Okay, time for a break,” Tweedle Dum announced, grabbing the punching bag and pulling it back to him as Lila moved away from the centre of the room, sitting down on one of the rickety plastic chairs at the side of the room.She took of
The Boy who Circled Time Chapter 365: Much Older Nephew
“Bitch! Why’d you run off and abandon me like that!?” Lila shouted from behind the counter when Kai finally walked back into the store.She was waving her hands about and wore an apron covered in flour as the single customer in the store, an old man precariously balancing on his cane, slept whilst leaning on the radiator.“I thought that you wanted some bonding time with your family so I left you to do that it private!” Kai answered her, tiptoeing past their unconscious patron, in a combination of whispering and shouting.“They’re hardly my family and you left us in the middle of a public café!” Lila cried, not modulating her voice at all.In the background, the old man began to snore.“But you still talk to them a lot like you do to me, so I let you, and besides, I got about fifty more pages of Good Omens done in Waterstones,” Kai appealed, finally at the counter and opening up the
The Boy who Circled Time Chapter 364 EXTRA GRETEL
Gretel and Silver had their fun as he continued to teach her how the interface worked and how he had managed to figure out that the system was an older model from the lack of integration between the screen and the touch pad, and explaining how easily it would potentially be to do so once the technology, as displayed in this device, had been demonstrated and established to work in a functional product."We were working on something like this as well, back in the workshops back home for the company that I was in the research and development department for. We were trying to get our motion sensors to be as small as possible for more commercial and personal use of technology that we could sell to the public and those who couldn't afford the contact computers.We had no idea on how their tech worked, because of trade and company secrets and all, but we managed to piece together a few things by looking at the patents and when we bought a few and m
The Boy who Circled Time Chapter 363: Alcohol and Sleep
“Alright, the shop’s free. Why are you actually here?” Lila questioned, crossing her arms and staring down at the tablecloth of Jasper and Emmet’s table.“I’ve got lesson now. I’ll be back in a few hours,” the teenage boy behind Lila announced, picking up a bag that had been hidden behind the counter the entire time and rushing outside.Lila continued to stand there, waiting for a reply.Jasper couldn’t help but notice that she wasn’t meeting either his or Emmet’s eyes.“Are you planning to leave us?” he asked her back.Lila’s fingers dug into the creases of her shirt,” I’m going to be leaving for a trip soon, and I’ll be back as soon as I can. Kai’ll be running the shop and will be looking after things, broadly. He lives here now and I scheduled my leave for when his school term ends so he can take care of things.”“On thi
