Two weeks later, I'd gone in for the beta pregnancy test. Today we would get the results. Thankfully, Dan had been forced to go back to work, and I'd resumed my normal schedule, as had Annie and Brett. But today, I stayed home, and Annie called in. We were both far too anxious to bother with our jobs. Annie had spent the morning complaining about Brett and that jackass Gray, who was still lurking in the shadows of her life. I'd warned her not to open that can of worms, but she hadn't listened to me and was now paying the price.I agreed, this time, Brett was out of line. She'd set Gray straight, told him exactly how things were not going to be, but Gray had baited Brett, taunting him to think she'd lied to him. Brett fed into Gray's games, and here it was, wreaking havoc on their marriage. If I were Annie, I'd just apologize and move on, but she refused to budge. I hated for this day to be ruined by something so trivial, but I couldn't deter her. When Brett sent me a text asking if he
Thirty-eight weeks had seemed like a long time the day we sat waiting on the hormone levels, but eighteen weeks later, the time had flown by. I caught myself talking to the baby when no one was around, and caressing my belly. I practically lived with headphones on my stomach in an effort to instill the love of classical music before birth. It wasn't my child, but I wanted to give it so much. There were so many things I wanted to share with him or her but knew I'd never get that chance as a parent. I could only hope I could do it with the time I was guaranteed while I was pregnant, or that Annie and Brett gave me that opportunity when the baby arrived. There's something women aren't prepared for that pregnancy brings, that pre-birth bond that only exists between the mother and child, no one else can ever experience it. While this wasn't my child, the bond was still there. There's never a moment after conception, until birth, the woman is alone. There's another heart beating inside of
Living between two houses, both of which were constantly being shown by real estate agents, while being pregnant with someone else's child, on top of working full time, was becoming too much. As we approached the growth and anatomy ultrasound, my anxiety began to ratchet and concealing it became harder. I had no idea how I'd hide any of it from Dan once we lived together. The hormones and my guilty conscious were creating far more turmoil in my life than I'd anticipated, and my outlets were few and far between. The shower had become my favorite place to cry because it was one of the only times I was ever alone anymore. I'd wanted friends, someone to love me, and I was grateful for them, but I'd been on my own for years, and adjusting had suddenly become difficult. Dan already worried enough about my safety, the baby's, but if he knew the emotional mess I became every morning, he might have a heart attack. I'd stayed at Dan's house more often than not these days for convenience. He
"Lissa, if you two don't get on the road soon, it's going to be too late to leave."My parents owned a beach house on South Padre Island, and I was taking a long weekend to decompress. I didn't usually make the drive alone, but Matt had Drill, and I had to be back at school on Monday. I was exhausted-sleep deprived was a more accurate term-but everything pulled me in different directions, and I'd over-committed myself this semester. I wanted to make a good impression on the new Dean. I wasn't a tenured Professor, and there were always teachers vying for coveted spots on the University's payroll. I loved my job, not just the classes and the lectures, but the ensembles, the private lessons, and the rare gift of a brilliant musician. They were all good, but this year, I'd been impressed by two in particular, and they took up hours of my day. I allocated resources to them they couldn't afford...my time. Both were here on full music scholarships, so they fell to my tutelage by default, but
It was difficult to put the pieces in the order they'd happened, but the lineup of witnesses was called in the order they'd come to the scene, I assumed in an effort to keep the timeline concise for the jury. "Can you state your name and position for the court?" Jethro had his attention first."Drew Sullivan. Andrew Sullivan, sir. I'm a Fire Engineer at Station Twelve on Engine Twelve." He shifted uncomfortably in the hard, wooden chair next to the judge. Each time he spoke, he leaned into the microphone with hesitation, and his left hand automatically went to the back of his neck worrying the muscles I'm sure were tense."How long have you been with the station?" Each attorney either wanted to establish the credibility of the person on the stand or discredit it. These people were fortunate, though; no one was trying to tear apart their words. Jethro wanted to appeal to the depravity of the situation they'd faced that day. He played on their heart in hopes of weakening the jury.I
A paramedic came next. Each witness struggled to keep the emotion from their version of the events that day, especially the EMTs and the state troopers. I wanted to believe they knew it was an accident, but in the end, the only opinions that would matter were the jurors', who were not making eye contact with me. All but one kept their focus trained on the front of the courtroom. An older man, with hair that had long lost its color, and warm, brown eyes, met my gaze and tilted his head just slightly in my direction. He connected with me, in just a glance. There were no words or gestures other than that, but I had one juror on my side. I only needed one."Elizabeth Simmons. NREMT paramedic." Her voice was gentle, and I hoped she was a mother. My attorney had deposed all of the witnesses, but I didn't know much about them personally. In another life, this was a woman I would have wanted to befriend. She had come dressed professionally, her uniform clearly identifying who she was. Her
The state trooper didn't add much to the other accounts, but he did present what they believed were the timeline of events based on my statements and those who were there."Ms. Jackson said she pulled over around three that afternoon with about a quarter of a tank of gas. We have to assume it was less than that because by the time Mrs. Bartell and her husband found her and the baby, it wasn't quite four. The call came in to 9-1-1 at 3:58 pm. The car was out of gas, and it was one hundred and three degrees that afternoon. We can only speculate as to the exact temperature of the inside of the vehicle because the windows had already been broken by the time we arrived, and no one knows how long the car was off before witnesses found the victims.""What do you estimate the internal temperature might have been?" This question had already been answered, but I guess the more people who testified, the more weight it would carry with a jury."Objection, the witness would be speculating." Jeth
Matt's testimony had been the most damning. His tape had been played for the court since he was deployed, and his words haunted me. He was angry, and it came through in every word he recorded. Blame lay at my feet. I had known his would be bad but hoped it hadn't held as much weight since he wasn't here to deliver it himself. Seeing his face, witnessing his devastation, every member of the jury would have identified with his anger and likely marinated in it. But his hadn't been the testimony I'd hated hearing. I dreaded the details I knew were going to come from the prosecutor's expert medical witness. He wasn't here to talk about mine or Joshua's specific case-he came to educate the courtroom on the process of the human body, adult and child, failing due to heatstroke. I'd spent far too much time researching this over the last few months, and it was gory. "Heatstroke causes the body to shut down. It's a multi-system organ failure where respiratory, cardiovascular, and nervous system