CHAPTER 4

(Cassie’s POV)

"Cassie," my mother yelled at me the moment we entered the house. Pamela had dropped us off at home after the silence that had ensued immediately after the doctor announced the news. The silence lingered until we got home.

I bit my lower lip in silence, filled with regrets. I didn't know what to say to my mother. How could I have been pregnant for three months without even knowing? I asked myself. I knew my mother was highly disappointed in me.

"Aren't you going to answer me, you loose girl?" my mother asked.

"Mom, I'm not loose," I retorted in anger. "Why the hell are you calling me a loose girl when you don't even know how I got pregnant?"

"Then talk. Your silence is killing me. How will you cope with this shit and your academics? Is this how I raised you up? Why the hell do you like tormenting me?"

"Mom..."

"Don't call me. Just tell me who the hell pumped his seed into you, you naive girl."

I sighed. I didn't even know what to tell her. How could I tell my mom I didn't know him by name? How do I tell her I only know the guy by face? I am messed up, I thought to myself.

My mother gasped all of a sudden, as if she remembered something. We were in the living room which contained two sofas, a sofa set, and a center table. It was a little home that had kept us secure for years. It was also a reminder of how poor my mother was compared to my friend, Pamela, who owned her car.

"Cassie," my mother raised her head up, putting her index finger at me. "Cameron left three months ago, right?"

I knew what she was talking about immediately and shook my head. My mother was thinking the baby was Cameron's.

"It's not what you are thinking, mom. Cameron and I had been drifting apart three months before we broke up."

Mom heaved a sigh of relief as she slumped onto the nearest sofa. She hated Cameron with passion and was against the relationship between us. When we broke up, she was happy and relieved.

"Who the hell impregnated you then?" Her voice was down. "You started dating again before you broke up?"

"No, mom," I replied

“Then what happened”?

"The night after we broke up, remember Pam and I went to a party?"

"And you were raped?" She assumes.

"No, mom. It was a consensus between us. I did it because I felt Cameron will get to know and he will feel bad about it. I did it because I wanted to spite him, I wanted him to know other men find me attractive....."

"And you foolishly had sex with some man?" She interrupts me with a shout.

"And you couldn't even think of taking some pills after the goddamn sex?" Her voice is shaking.

"Mom?"

"Don't call me. My mother's face twisted in anger. "How could you be so careless?" she spat. "Do you have any idea what kind of situation we're in now? How are we going to take care of this baby?”

As I sat in silence,, I couldn't help but think about how much my life had changed in just a few short months. I was pregnant, and I didn't know who the father was. My mother's angry voice snapped me out of my thoughts.

“Answer me, Cassie. Who is the father of your child?" she demanded.

I am speechless right now. This is another problem. I know it will come to this. How do I tell her I don't know the man who impregnated me.

“Cassie, I asked you a question, didn't I?"

“Mom, I do....do..don't...don't....."

"Will you talk?" She rushes to my side.

"I don't know, Mom," I said, my voice barely above a whisper. "I only know what he looks like."

What?"

"Yes, mom", I shook my head repeatedly.

"I only know how he looks, I don't know his name or

where he lives."

"What?" Mom exclaims again

*******

I rushed to my room after my mom had struck me hard on the cheeks. The moment I entered my room, tears began to trickle down my face. I let them fall freely as I lay sprawled on my bed.

I was doomed. How would I cope in school? Will I become a laughing stock among my colleagues? When Cameron found out, how will he feel? All of these were making me cry even harder.

My mom's slap was just a gateway to the tears that had been threatening to fall ever since the doctor had broken the news to us. Mom worked as a waitress in a restaurant. I didn't know how we could managed with the little she was earning. Was I supposed to drop out of school then? I asked myself.

My tears wouldn't stop. I had nothing to console myself with. I felt ashamed of myself. After crying non-stop for a while, I fell asleep on the bed without getting out of my dress.

The knock on my door stirred me up from my deep slumber.

"Cassie, I'm sorry. Please open the door," Mom apologized from outside.

I was still on the bed, listening to her. I wanted to go and open the door for her to come in, but I was still hurt by her actions. I knew I was at fault, and I wasn’t expecting her to praise me for my foolish behavior. The least I had expected of her was to support me. This was a trying time for me.

"Cassie, please open the door. I'm sorry. I was just mad at you for..."

"Just go away, Mom," I yelled.

"Cassie, I'm sorry. Please open the door," her voice was soft and apologetic.

Cassie hesitated for a moment before opening the door. She wasn’t ready to forgive her mom yet, but she didn’t want to be alone either.

"I'm sorry," her mom repeated, tears in her eyes. "I shouldn't have hit you. I was just so scared and angry."

Cassie nodded, still feeling hurt, but grateful for her mom’s apology. She knew they had a lot to work through, And, she needed to focus on herself

As she lain in bed, Cassie's phone rang. It was Tony, her friend who she had promised to go out with that night.

"Tony, I'm sorry I can't make it tonight," she apologized immediately.

"What? Come on, Cassie. My friends are calling already. I told them you are coming with me," Tony sounded frustrated.

"I know, Tony, but something came up. I'm sorry," Cassie replied, trying to keep her voice steady.

"Okay, fine. But you owe me one," Tony grumbled before hanging up.

Cassie let out a deep breath, feeling relieved and guilty at the same time. She wished she could tell Tony the truth, but she wasn’t ready to share her secret with anyone yet.