SamanthaI was trying not to think about him.Trying not to completely lose my mind with anxiety and panic.I tried to focus on my task of shelving new books, so I didn’t have to worry about Ryan being back in town.Having slipped several books into place, I stepped off my stepladder and grabbed my cart of tomes, dragging it to the next grouping of shelves that needed replenishing. What was I going to do? When Jason had told me he was inviting Ryan, I’d hid my anxiety from him, but I’d been a nervous mess ever since. A part of me had known this would happen one day, but I’d hoped I’d have some idea of what to do before then.If Ryan was in the wedding, he was going to find out about Henry. Ryan wasn’t an idiot. He’d be able to put two-and-two together. I needed to figure out some explanation, some excuse to keep Ryan from figuring out the truth.If Ryan found out he had a son and that I’d kept Henry from him, he would be furious. Then, of course, my family would find out. Jason would
I shrugged, doubling down on the lie as panic overtook me. “I don’t care if you believe me or not. Henry is not yours. I slept with his father after you ran away.”He looked stunned by that, but then, he sharply shook his head.“Liar,” he growled. “You were never a good liar.”I gnashed my teeth, frustration welling up within me.“Don’t talk down to me,” I hissed. “I’m not a kid anymore, Ryan. I’ve grown up a lot since you vanished.”“Why didn’t you tell me about him?” he demanded to know.“He’s not yours!” I insisted. What was I doing? It was like I was being possessed by some asshole demon who was determined to completely ruin my life and I couldn’t stop it. “Christ, did you really think I wouldn’t hook up with anyone after you? Well, guess what? Once you popped my cherry, I didn’t have a reason to hold myself back anymore. I’ve been screwing anyone I’ve wanted whenever I’ve wanted to.”A bald-faced lie. Truth be told, I hadn’t been with anyone else since Ryan. I’d been too heartbro
RyanMy mind was a jumbled mess as I made my way to my childhood home, my confrontation with Samantha swirling through my thoughts. When I’d walked into the bookstore, the first thing that’d struck me was how gorgeous she was. Her body had matured, and she’d gotten curvier. Her dark brown hair was still long and the way it’d fallen around her shoulders made it seem soft and luxurious. I’d wanted to run my fingers through it to see if it was as silky as I remembered. Seven years ago, she’d been short and slim and shy. In the bookstore, she’d tilted her head back and her golden eyes had burned with determination as she’d gazed up at me. I’d grown heated at the mere sight of her.The Samantha of seven years ago would never have spoken to me like she had today, though. She’d been harsh and blunt, and clearly not intimidated by me at all. Most people I encountered were borderline terrified of me. I preferred that. It made dealing with people easier.I reached the driveway of my old house,
“Hey, man,” Jason answered after two rings. “What’s up? Lonely already?”I cut right to the chase. “Can you come over? I need to talk to you about something. It’s important.”“Oh, sure, yeah,” Jason replied, his tone taking on a tinge of concern. “I’ll be right there.”“Thanks.” I hung up and finished up my drink in two swallows. I got up and went to pour myself another, as well as one for Jason, then went out to go wait for him in the living room. Thankfully, Jason was prompt, and it took him less than twenty minutes to arrive. I went to let him in when he rang the doorbell.“Thanks for coming,” I said, letting Jason inside.“No problem.” Jason nodded, his brow furrowed. “You said it was important.”“Yeah, it is. This way.”I led Jason into the living room and handed him the drink I’d prepared. We sat in a matching pair of cushioned chairs arranged in front of a large fireplace that dominated the far wall of the room.“So, what’s up?” Jason asked after several moments of tense silenc
SamanthaMoonlight stream edoverus,illuminating the sinewy muscles beneath Ryan’s skin. He was magnificent as he moved over me. I clung to him and arched my back as he drove into me again and again. I moaned, my head thrashing along the mossy ground. It felt so incredible to have his body pressed tight to mine.“Sam,” he murmured into my ear. “You’re so perfect. You were made for me.”His words were nearly as stimulating as his flexing hips, and I purred in approval. He was going to make me come like this. Make me fall apart in his arms all over again.Wait…again?I frowned, confused.What was happening? When had Ryan and I…?This wasn’t our first night together, was it?No, that had been the night of my birthday, seven years ago.“Don’t get distracted,” Ryan gently ordered me, pulling me from my wandering thoughts. He was looking down at me, grinning softly. “Focus on me, baby. Only me.”As if to emphasize his point, he flexed his hips, touching me deep inside. I cried out, right on
I glanced up at him to see his reaction, and he looked like he was going to be sick.“Is…is Ryan Henry’s father?” he asked in a broken whisper.I swallowed and looked away from him. Tears blurred my vision, but I fought not to let them fall.“Yes,” I admitted.“My God.” Jason sounded stunned and a more than a little hurt. “Jesus, Sam, why didn’t you ever tell me?”I wrapped my arms around my torso and hugged myself tight. “I was heartbroken and confused. Embarrassed. When he left without a word, I couldn’t face it. I wanted to forget all about that night, but then, I wound up pregnant. By that point, I was too humiliated to admit it was him, so I made up the whole story about hooking up with someone else. I’m sorry, Jason, I really am, but I was scared and I didn’t know how to handle things.”A tear escaped the corner of my eye. I quickly wiped it away, but I couldn’t look at him.I felt like I’d just ripped open my chest and pulled out my heart. This secret was one I’d held onto for
Ryan“Things seem quieter, sir. No one has seen or heard from Bill since you left the city.”I let out a sigh of relief, glad for some good news for once. I was sitting in my study, talking on the phone with my head of security, Marcus, back in New York.“Thank God. Maybe that means I was right in thinking he’d back off if I was gone. If he’s got no target to go after, he has no motivation to continue his harassment.”“It appears that way, sir,” Marcus replied. “We’ll, of course, keep an eye out, and if we receive any hint that he’s active again, I’ll contact you immediately.”“Thank you, Marcus. Yeah, keep me posted.”Hanging up the call, I sank back into my chair and turned my gaze up to the ceiling.If Bill was no longer a problem, that was one less thing for me to have to think about and stress over.Reaching up, I pinched the bridge of my nose, fighting back a headache that threatened to overtake me.Suddenly, the house’s doorbell rang, shattering the quiet that had settled aroun
SamanthaMy mind was still reeling later that night as I drove over to Jason’s house. Henry was sitting in the backseat, distracted by his stuffed dinosaur I’d let him bring along, and so there was nothing to occupy my thoughts except for Ryan.I needed to get him out of my head. It was a dangerous place for him to be.“Mama? When we get to Uncle Jason’s, can I play with Rolo?”I looked up into the review mirror so I could see Henry. He was gazing at me with his big, blue eyes, which were so identical to Ryan’s that it made my chest ache.“If Uncle Jason says it’s okay,” I told him, my words squeaking a bit.Henry’s face lit up with an excited grin.Rolo was Jason’s bulldog, and Henry considered him his very best friend. The two were very cute together, but even the prospect of an adorable boy and puppy dog playdate couldn’t ease my anxiety.By the time we reached Jason’s house, I was trembling.I managed to get out of the car and unhook Henry from his booster seat. He ran ahead of me
I held the door for her to get into the car. My dad picked up Makayla so she could give Deira one last hug while I walked around to get into the driver's side. We waved at everyone, and I drove away. As we wove through the grounds of the estate, I kept looking over, stealing glances at Deira as the dappled sunlight flitted over her, turning her hair gold and making her skin glow. I could feel heat pooling in my groin and a desperate need coursing through my veins. I thought again at how long it would be until we got to the hotel that night, and decided it was simply too long.Instead of turning toward the main road, I looped us around toward the back of the estate. I remembered a particularly secluded spot that was perfect for what I had in mind. A few minutes later, I pulled the car to a stop."Is something wrong?" Deira asked, looking over at me curiously."Nothing's wrong," I replied with a wicked grin. "I just don't want to wait until we get to Hawaii." When she realized what I me
CASSIUSThree Months LaterDeira made a beautiful bride.Watching her walk down the aisle toward me, with all our family and friends present, I knew that I had made the right choice in asking her to marry me. In fact, I knew that every choice I had made since that moment I decided to step into that steam room, despite it unexpectedly being occupied, had been the right choice.It was a simple ceremony, because once I'd proposed and she'd accepted, we both wanted things to move quickly. Neither of us saw a reason to wait. So, our whole wedding party was just three people. Scott was my one groomsman, and Dani was her one bridesmaid, and Makayla was the flower girl. In fact, Makayla was something of a flower empress, having demanded to be put in charge of all the floral decisions for the wedding. When that happened, Deira just laughed and looked at me."She gets this from you, you know," she had said, smirking.For my part, I thought she had made great decisions. The flowers looked beauti
A few days later,I was standing outside a hospital room, fidgeting with my dress. Cassius took my hand, pulling it away from the floral garment."You look great," he whispered. "Don't worry." We were about to go into his mother's hospital room, where his parents were waiting to meet Makayla and I for the first time. Makayla was bopping excitedly beside me. She had been on cloud nine ever since Cassius and I had explained that she had grandparents, and they were waiting to meet her. I, on the other hand, was very nervous."Ready?" Cassius asked. I took a deep breath, and nodded.It turned out that I didn't have anything to be nervous about. Cassius's father immediately stood up and gave me a warm hug, and his mother insisted I come sit by her so she could hold my hand and talk to me. They both were very kind to me and, more importantly, to Makayla. Just as she'd been with Cassius, Makayla seemed instantly at ease with them. It didn't take long before she was chatting away to them, talk
DEIRALeave it to Cassius to make a dramatic entrance, I reflected as I stared at him from afar. Whether it was barging into my steam room or crashing into my car or running through the airport yelling my name, he never did anything subtly. I looked at him, standing there breathing heavily. Had he run through the airport looking for me?I glanced back at Dani, and she raised an eyebrow. She didn't have to say anything more for me to understand the question she was asking. That raised eyebrow said, well, what are you going to do? It might as well have said, well, Deira, what do you want? I hadn't expected to have to answer that question at the airport, right before we went through security, but apparently, that's what was happening. Now I had two choices.I could turn my back on Cassius, take Makayla's hand, and walk through the security gate toward a totally new life, or I could go over to Cassius and ask him why he was here. I could give him one last chance to be part of my life. It
CASSIUSThough my mother was doing well, I still spent the next week or so in the hospital. Now that I'd reconciled with my parents, I wanted them to know that I was there for them. But also, I knew that once I returned to my real life, I would need to talk to Deira, and I wasn't ready. Not because I wasn't sure what to say—in fact, the opposite. I knew that I wanted Makayla and Deira to be part of my life now, and forever. But we'd had such a rocky path, I was a little scared of how Deira would respond to me.So, I put it off for days, until my mom finally prodded me to leave the hospital."You've been here forever," she said. "Go home, get a shower, and get a good night's sleep. And then, once you're refreshed, maybe talk to your girlfriend about us meeting our granddaughter." She winked at me."She's not my girlfriend, Mom," I protested, feeling like a teenager."But you like her, right?" my mother asked, and all I could do was grin in response. "See," she continued. "You have to g
The next morning, Dani took Makayla to school on her way to work, letting me sleep in. I laid around her apartment all morning in my pajamas, then went for a quick run before getting myself some lunch. I was very consciously not thinking about work, or Cassius, or anything else. I had half-expected him to call me at some point, but he didn't, and I couldn't help but be relieved. I didn't think I could talk to him until I decided what to do about Mr. White.In the afternoon, I picked up Makayla from school and took her to the park to play. That night, the three of us made pasta and played board games. It was nice to have some time to just have fun, without thinking about all of the stress of the past few months. The next day, after dropping off Makayla at school, I found myself thinking about my blog. I hadn't thought about it in months. I went to the home page and started looking over some of my past entries. Before long, I found myself writing down ideas for new posts. It had been ye
DEIRA I had hurried inside after getting out of Cassius's car, but I didn't want to go back to Dani's apartment when I was so upset. I waited until I saw Cassius drive away, and then I went back out to take a walk around the neighborhood. I had meant to calm down, but I found myself reliving our conversation and soon I was crying. Cassius not believing me about Mr. White hurt even more than I had let on. I'd let out all my anger on him, but beneath the anger was a deep pain and a sense of betrayal. Why did he think I would make something like that up? What did I have to gain from that? And did our relationship mean so little to him that the word of an employee he barely knew was better than my word? That last part stung more than I wanted to admit. For all the ups and downs of our relationship, it had never felt meaningless to me, but it seemed for Cassius this always came second to his job. He believed Mr. White over me, just like he had taken a business call instead of watching
After I got my dad calmed down, I went to find the doctor. I wanted a clear understanding of the accident and my mother's injuries. The doctor confirmed that the coma appeared to be because her body had been through a trauma, and that there was nothing worrying on the scans. All her other injuries were minor, especially considering the severity of the accident, but we wouldn't know her true status until she woke up. I made sure he understood that I was the point person now, and that my mom was to want for nothing. He nodded and reiterated that there was nothing to be done but wait. The waiting was excruciating.I found myself wanting to call Deira, but remembering the look on her face as she'd slammed the car door, I didn't think that was a good idea. I called Scott instead. He offered to come to the hospital, but I asked him to take care of the business instead. That way, I could concentrate on taking care of my parents."Of course, man. Whatever you need. Anything else I can do?" he
The address wasn't far, and I made it there in twenty minutes. Deira was just taking Makayla inside when I pulled up. I waited in the car and a few minutes later she emerged. I was going to get out and meet her, but she walked right to the car and got into the passenger seat."I can't talk long," she said. "But I realized storming off like that earlier wasn't helpful, so I wanted to try to explain." She fidgeted, like she was nervous."I did talk to Mr. White," I said, wondering if what he said was true, and now she was nervous because she regretted her actions. At his name, she glanced over at me sharply."Did he admit what happened?" she asked, seeming surprised."He told me his side of things. Why don't you tell me yours?" At the phrasehis side of things, her face fell. She looked down at her hands and took a deep breath. Finally, she spoke."He accused me of sleeping with you to get my job," she said quietly."What?!" I hadn't been expecting that at all, and I was so shocked I fel