“Because it’s the truth. You don’t want to date a man with a child and you’re blowing this out of proportion to use it as an excuse to end things.”She rolls her eyes and walks over to where she left her purse and pulls it off the table. “The fact that you would even say that to my face is so insulting.”“Then prove me wrong. Stay. Let’s talk about this.”She stares me down for a few seconds, then says, “You want me to stay? Okay, I’ll stay. Let’s talk. By the way, you should know I’m pregnant.”My vision blurs momentarily. “What?”“I am pregnant. I’ve known for a while now, and I’ve been trying to tell you, but never found the right moment.”“How long—” my voice catches. I clear my throat and try again. “How long have you known?”“I found out before we left for Paris.”“Paris? You’ve known for a month and didn’t tell me?”“Well, I wanted to wait and see where we stood before I told you. Judging by everything that has happened tonight, I think that was wise.”“Paige, that’s not fair.”
PAIGEThis is all too much. I do not know how much more of this I can take. Life keeps coming at me fast and I don’t know how to deal. I’m barely keeping my head above water.The past two weeks have honestly been the most difficult of my life. It’s true what they say. You don’t know what you have until you lose it. I wasn’t aware of just how much I loved Travis until our relationship ended. When I ended things with him I knew it would hurt, but not this much.I’ve spent every night since crying myself to sleep. I love him so much, but I don’t think continuing our relationship would be the smartest thing to do. It’s not that he has a son with his ex-wife, because although that would be an adjustment, I know if I wanted to I could welcome his son into our lives while also planning for our baby. What has me balking is the fact that he kept it from me. He should’ve told me about it immediately instead of sulking, avoiding me, and picking fights with me.I thought that dating an older man
I quickly run to the bathroom and touch up my makeup before heading into the office.The drive from the hospital to work is probably the first time I’ve felt real hope concerning Mom’s cancer diagnosis. Of course, she isn’t out of the woods just yet but it’s looking like there’s a light at the end of the tunnel, finally.Today,DeLisleis shooting the visuals for the ad campaign for our newest collection. We are doing it at Brooklyn Bridge Park with the bridge in the background.Jeremy stops on the street in front of the site and I get out of the car. There’s a flurry of activity as my staff, makeup artists, hairdressers, interns, the photographer and his assistants all run around. However, my eyes go straight to the tall figure standing in a gray three-piece suit with his hand in his pocket, as cool as a cucumber in the sea of chaos.Travis is here.We haven’t spoken since that night and havebarely seen each other. I have been avoiding him, and I’m guessing he has been doing the same.
TRAVISEven though I’ve always wanted children, I’ve never considered myself much of a baby person.That has all been blown to hell as I sit here, smiling at the newborn cradled in the crook of my elbow.Mom forced me to come back home for the birth of my baby brother, Phil’s first born. She insisted that I’ve missed way too much of our major family events. I’m ashamed to say she was right, because I have two other nieces and nephews who I only met in person after their second birthdays.I had convinced myself that video calls to see the babies was good enough, because they wouldn’t know the difference whether I was really there in person or not. However, as I look down at this baby I’m starting to realize the weight of Mom’s reproach. These are the things that are important in life. So I’m going to have to make more time for them.“Stop that, you’re being creepy,” Phil says.I look up at him. “What?”“Why are you grimacing at my daughter? You’re going to scare her.”“I’m not grimacin
“Women all over the world are the same. We want our men to want us enough to fight for us. Even if I’m wrong, what do you have to lose? If you try and she really doesn’t want you, with time it will be clear. I think right now she’s acting from a place of hurt. You have to make her see past that, and you do that by making it clear that you want her; that you want a life with her and with your child.”“You really think that will work?”She shrugs. “It’s worth a try. As it is, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. If I were in your position, I would definitely go all out to show her how much she means to me.”“I don’t know…”“Well, the choice is yours. You need to decide whether this is important to you or not. You have to ask yourself if you’re okay with giving up this easily when you can actually still do something about it.”She gets up and walks over to me, kisses me on the forehead and heads off to bed.Hope has been a dangerous thing for me recently. I haven’t allowed my
PAIGEBeep…beep…beep…I’m sitting in Mom’s room after her surgery. I’m pretending to read a magazine as she stares at me.Dad and Matt left a few minutes ago and it’s the first time she and I have been alone since her surgery. It’s been a few days since her operation and she seems to be doing well. I’m grateful for that, but what it means is that she’s going to go back to being her usual nosy self.“So are you going to tell me what’s been going on with you now?”I look up and feign surprise. “What do you mean?”“Don’t give me that. You’ve been sour for a few weeks now, and don’t say it’s because you’ve been worried about me. At first, I thought that’s what it was, but ever since I’ve come out of surgery you’ve been much worse. So that’s not it. What’s going on?”I laugh and the second the sound comes out of my mouth I know it’s not going to fool Mom. “Really, nothing is going on with me.”“Does it have anything to do with Travis?” My eyes cut to hers and she chuckles. “So it does have
TRAVISPaige,I love you. I am not letting you go without a fight. You mean everything to me and nothing would make me happier than to raise a family with you.Love,Travis.I placethe card in its little envelope and tuck it into the first bouquet of flowers that I’m having the florist deliver to Paige in about 30 minutes. Then I head home and wait.When she woke up this morning, I’m sure she thought today was going to be like any other regular Sunday. How wrong that assumption would be.The hugest smile is stretched across my face as I sit in my living room picturing how she will receive my gesture. Every surface, and possibly the entire floor in her living room is going to be covered with huge arrangements of the most beautiful red roses.I’ve arranged it so that starting at 9 o’clock this morning, three dozen roses will be sent to her door every 30 minutes.It’s now 1 o’clock in the afternoon and the flowers haven’t stopped. I’m parked about a block away from her door when I see an
PAIGETwo years later“Ahhhhh!” TJ screams as he runs at Travis in the lawn of our Hamptons home. Just before he rams into him, Travis stoops down and scoops him off the ground and throws him over his shoulder and runs across the lawn as he laughs.Amelia and I sit on the edge of the lawn on a picnic basket and watch as they horse around. I’m feeding our daughter grapes and she claps her hands as she watches her brother and dad play.It doesn’t take long before Amelia is over my fussing over her and the grapes. She climbs to her feet and stumbles over to TJ and Travis who include her in their game and they tone down the roughness so as to not hurt her.After a while, Travis’ age starts catching up to him and he starts running out of steam. So the love of my life retires to the blanket where I sit.“Tired already, grandpa?” I ask.“Well, I’m not the one who’s been sitting around eating grapes all day.”“Correction, I’ve been feeding your daughter grapes.”“Po-tay-to, po-ta-to,” he says
I held the door for her to get into the car. My dad picked up Makayla so she could give Deira one last hug while I walked around to get into the driver's side. We waved at everyone, and I drove away. As we wove through the grounds of the estate, I kept looking over, stealing glances at Deira as the dappled sunlight flitted over her, turning her hair gold and making her skin glow. I could feel heat pooling in my groin and a desperate need coursing through my veins. I thought again at how long it would be until we got to the hotel that night, and decided it was simply too long.Instead of turning toward the main road, I looped us around toward the back of the estate. I remembered a particularly secluded spot that was perfect for what I had in mind. A few minutes later, I pulled the car to a stop."Is something wrong?" Deira asked, looking over at me curiously."Nothing's wrong," I replied with a wicked grin. "I just don't want to wait until we get to Hawaii." When she realized what I me
CASSIUSThree Months LaterDeira made a beautiful bride.Watching her walk down the aisle toward me, with all our family and friends present, I knew that I had made the right choice in asking her to marry me. In fact, I knew that every choice I had made since that moment I decided to step into that steam room, despite it unexpectedly being occupied, had been the right choice.It was a simple ceremony, because once I'd proposed and she'd accepted, we both wanted things to move quickly. Neither of us saw a reason to wait. So, our whole wedding party was just three people. Scott was my one groomsman, and Dani was her one bridesmaid, and Makayla was the flower girl. In fact, Makayla was something of a flower empress, having demanded to be put in charge of all the floral decisions for the wedding. When that happened, Deira just laughed and looked at me."She gets this from you, you know," she had said, smirking.For my part, I thought she had made great decisions. The flowers looked beauti
A few days later,I was standing outside a hospital room, fidgeting with my dress. Cassius took my hand, pulling it away from the floral garment."You look great," he whispered. "Don't worry." We were about to go into his mother's hospital room, where his parents were waiting to meet Makayla and I for the first time. Makayla was bopping excitedly beside me. She had been on cloud nine ever since Cassius and I had explained that she had grandparents, and they were waiting to meet her. I, on the other hand, was very nervous."Ready?" Cassius asked. I took a deep breath, and nodded.It turned out that I didn't have anything to be nervous about. Cassius's father immediately stood up and gave me a warm hug, and his mother insisted I come sit by her so she could hold my hand and talk to me. They both were very kind to me and, more importantly, to Makayla. Just as she'd been with Cassius, Makayla seemed instantly at ease with them. It didn't take long before she was chatting away to them, talk
DEIRALeave it to Cassius to make a dramatic entrance, I reflected as I stared at him from afar. Whether it was barging into my steam room or crashing into my car or running through the airport yelling my name, he never did anything subtly. I looked at him, standing there breathing heavily. Had he run through the airport looking for me?I glanced back at Dani, and she raised an eyebrow. She didn't have to say anything more for me to understand the question she was asking. That raised eyebrow said, well, what are you going to do? It might as well have said, well, Deira, what do you want? I hadn't expected to have to answer that question at the airport, right before we went through security, but apparently, that's what was happening. Now I had two choices.I could turn my back on Cassius, take Makayla's hand, and walk through the security gate toward a totally new life, or I could go over to Cassius and ask him why he was here. I could give him one last chance to be part of my life. It
CASSIUSThough my mother was doing well, I still spent the next week or so in the hospital. Now that I'd reconciled with my parents, I wanted them to know that I was there for them. But also, I knew that once I returned to my real life, I would need to talk to Deira, and I wasn't ready. Not because I wasn't sure what to say—in fact, the opposite. I knew that I wanted Makayla and Deira to be part of my life now, and forever. But we'd had such a rocky path, I was a little scared of how Deira would respond to me.So, I put it off for days, until my mom finally prodded me to leave the hospital."You've been here forever," she said. "Go home, get a shower, and get a good night's sleep. And then, once you're refreshed, maybe talk to your girlfriend about us meeting our granddaughter." She winked at me."She's not my girlfriend, Mom," I protested, feeling like a teenager."But you like her, right?" my mother asked, and all I could do was grin in response. "See," she continued. "You have to g
The next morning, Dani took Makayla to school on her way to work, letting me sleep in. I laid around her apartment all morning in my pajamas, then went for a quick run before getting myself some lunch. I was very consciously not thinking about work, or Cassius, or anything else. I had half-expected him to call me at some point, but he didn't, and I couldn't help but be relieved. I didn't think I could talk to him until I decided what to do about Mr. White.In the afternoon, I picked up Makayla from school and took her to the park to play. That night, the three of us made pasta and played board games. It was nice to have some time to just have fun, without thinking about all of the stress of the past few months. The next day, after dropping off Makayla at school, I found myself thinking about my blog. I hadn't thought about it in months. I went to the home page and started looking over some of my past entries. Before long, I found myself writing down ideas for new posts. It had been ye
DEIRA I had hurried inside after getting out of Cassius's car, but I didn't want to go back to Dani's apartment when I was so upset. I waited until I saw Cassius drive away, and then I went back out to take a walk around the neighborhood. I had meant to calm down, but I found myself reliving our conversation and soon I was crying. Cassius not believing me about Mr. White hurt even more than I had let on. I'd let out all my anger on him, but beneath the anger was a deep pain and a sense of betrayal. Why did he think I would make something like that up? What did I have to gain from that? And did our relationship mean so little to him that the word of an employee he barely knew was better than my word? That last part stung more than I wanted to admit. For all the ups and downs of our relationship, it had never felt meaningless to me, but it seemed for Cassius this always came second to his job. He believed Mr. White over me, just like he had taken a business call instead of watching
After I got my dad calmed down, I went to find the doctor. I wanted a clear understanding of the accident and my mother's injuries. The doctor confirmed that the coma appeared to be because her body had been through a trauma, and that there was nothing worrying on the scans. All her other injuries were minor, especially considering the severity of the accident, but we wouldn't know her true status until she woke up. I made sure he understood that I was the point person now, and that my mom was to want for nothing. He nodded and reiterated that there was nothing to be done but wait. The waiting was excruciating.I found myself wanting to call Deira, but remembering the look on her face as she'd slammed the car door, I didn't think that was a good idea. I called Scott instead. He offered to come to the hospital, but I asked him to take care of the business instead. That way, I could concentrate on taking care of my parents."Of course, man. Whatever you need. Anything else I can do?" he
The address wasn't far, and I made it there in twenty minutes. Deira was just taking Makayla inside when I pulled up. I waited in the car and a few minutes later she emerged. I was going to get out and meet her, but she walked right to the car and got into the passenger seat."I can't talk long," she said. "But I realized storming off like that earlier wasn't helpful, so I wanted to try to explain." She fidgeted, like she was nervous."I did talk to Mr. White," I said, wondering if what he said was true, and now she was nervous because she regretted her actions. At his name, she glanced over at me sharply."Did he admit what happened?" she asked, seeming surprised."He told me his side of things. Why don't you tell me yours?" At the phrasehis side of things, her face fell. She looked down at her hands and took a deep breath. Finally, she spoke."He accused me of sleeping with you to get my job," she said quietly."What?!" I hadn't been expecting that at all, and I was so shocked I fel