It was the morning of my first sonogram. I nervously looked up at the ceiling as I lay on the cold exam table. My dad and my friend Brittany bounced in their seats. I rubbed my stomach absentmindedly. It had only just started to show and a smile crawled into my lips as I felt a faint flutter.
Brittany chuckled at that. “Oh, I saw that. That right there is a football player.” She rubbed her own stomach. She, herself, was pregnant and we had bonded over it.
“Brit!” my dad chuckled. “We don’t know if it is a boy or a girl.”
We laughed until the doctor walked in and greeted us.
“Well, Lily, are you ready to see your baby?”
She turned on the ultrasound machine and shot out a cold jelly over my stomach. She rolled the device over my belly with gentle pressure.
My heart thumped rapidly as I took in the black and white screen and expected to struggle. But it wasn’t. She could see it clearly
The next day I was in bed, revising the second draft of my new book when an acute kick knocked the wind out of me. I gasped sharply and looked down at my stomach, which was uncovered because my tank top kept riding up over it. A sharp peak protruded from my left side, rising up like a hill. There was a strange tightness that accompanied it. It was a different kick from any I had felt so far, and my baby's foot or arm or whatever body part it simply remained protruding.Dad came out of the bathroom and I chuckled as I pointed to it. “Look at that, dad.”He narrowed his eyes curiously and smiled. “What in the world is that?”“One of the limbs. It feels strange.”A couple of weeks later, Brit and I had returned home from a walk and we were both sitting across the sofa, talking, when I felt it again.I whined and Brit looked over.“What the hell?” she exclaimed.“It’s these stran
When my water broke one morning, I was home alone. Dad had gone out to the next town for the farmer’s market, sure that I needed organic products freshly picked from the farm to have a smart baby. Brit and Ken were at work. And I had no one else who I really spoke to during my pregnancy.The due date was three weeks later and I was the one least expecting it. Terrified, I called them.Dad was as calm as ever. “Right. Hold that baby in for a few hours, Lilith.”I snorted in response.“I’m serious,” he said. “It is going to take me time to get there. Did you call the others?”“No,” I said immediately.“Do you want to call them? Brit and Ken should be at work…”“I am not making any more calls,” I growled.“Got it. I will call everyone. You take care until I get there.”.Dad got us to the hospital in ten minutes and
“Mommy, mommy. You have to be there. It’s the President!” I whipped my head around so fast that I thought I would fall off the stool at the kitchen tabletop. “Who?” I asked quickly, shocked at those words. “The President. They told us we have to call him Mr. President if he talks to us. He’s coming to judge us on our environmental science projects.” “Environment,” I enunciated softly for Kaiden. “Mm. Environment. Brittany helped me and Brie while you were working, and she told the teacher that you’d be able to be there today to see who wins.” Kaiden was almost jumping up and down with excitement. “Right. So, it’s the President?” I clarified. How did I not know the President was coming to Kaiden’s school? My heart hammered in my chest as I tried not to think about the last time I had met a President. It had been nine years ago. I swallowed back the tears as memories flashed through my mind. “Okay,” I said. “I’ll be there. What t
“Is he…” he trailed off, suddenly realizing that he was surrounded by people. Kai looked at his son for only a brief moment before turning his head back to me. His eyes closed for a few beats too long as he processed the news. I realized that he knew for certain in those very moments.“You two know each other?” The principal asked.“Yes, Lily and I have met,” Kai replied harshly, his eyes never leaving hers after he opened them.“Wow. You knew the President, mommy?” Kaiden looked up at me in wonder. I stifled my reaction and smiled.“Yes, honey,” I replied softly as I ran my hand through his hair. “But it has been a really long time since we have met each other.” I paused. “He is not the President… not in the way you thought,” I informed.“Mr. Rivera, it’s time to head out to the garden.” At that moment, I wanted nothing but the princ
I kept my composure long enough to walk through the front door o front door of my house. And then, I broke down. I leaned against the closed door and my knees gave away, forcing me to slide down to the floor.I was a sobbing mess. Eight years' worth of guilt and doubt overwhelmed me. I was so sure about my decision when I made it. But having him there in front of me, in front of my son… His son… brought everything back and made me doubt every decision I had made.He was a father and I had taken that away from it. He didn’t know his child. But what was he going to say to me? What was he going to do?To calm my nerves, I sat in front of my laptop and opened the document I was working on earlier in the day. But after spilling all my words, I quickly realized that my hands weren’t steady enough for it. Long lines of red banished me away from the keyboard.I quickly changed my clothes and began to go over my normal routine when I was
He gulped. “Were you planning on telling me?”“Yes.”“When?”“I wanted to tell you as soon as your father left office. But with everything that happened with his Nobel Prize and you traveling… I put it off. I didn’t know how. I sent several letters, but they were returned unopened, I don’t know why.”His brows furrowed heavily on the sofa, his head dropping to his hands. He growled in frustration, making me jump.“Sorry, I didn’t mean to frighten you.”“It’s okay.”Kai stared up at me for a few moments, studying my face, his features softened and I saw a glimpse of the man I used to know. His head tipped to the side and I almost imagined him smiling. Almost. “Your hair?”I ran my hand over my hair. “This is the natural color. I had it dyed back then.”Kai nodded his head. “I…”
I was the mess when the door closed behind him. But I managed to pull myself together by the time Brittany’s car pulled up with the kids about twenty minutes later. I stepped out so they knew I was home. Usually, I would be in my office and Brit would keep Kaiden until I was done, but I had taken the day off from work after an exhausting trip.I waved at Brit and she yelled out, telling me she was coming with a bottle of wine at eight and the look on her face told me she was not going to let me evade her questions.Kaiden came running over and started telling me in exquisite detail about his day. He asked about a million questions about mine as well. But I had a hard time concentrating on his words. All I could think about was how his world was about to turn upside down. I couldn’t imagine how he would take the news but I was fairly certain he would be excited and Kai wouldn’t know what hit him when he got his hands on Kai.At a quarter to eigh
“I wish I could tell you everything. But… I don’t know. We had this insane connection. He was sweet and caring, and sexy as fuck. The man is…” I shivered at just the thought of him."Where? How long? How often? Give me details woman."I told her the little that I could."How in the hell did I not know about this, how was it kept quiet?"“There were loads of people making sure that we were never caught. He couldn’t see someone before… his father’s reelection. It would jeopardize his chances at Presidency.”This is about where my story would start to come undone if anyone asked too many questions."But the guy was entitled to a personal life.""Yeah, but then I got pregnant. We weren't married, can you imagine how the bible belt would have responded to that. So, I left before he ever found out. It very nearly killed me."Brit looked at me suspiciously. “Is that