9 Valid emotions

SOPHIA

“Sophia!“ He called again, his fingers wrapped around my wrist, bringing me to a stop.

I glanced back at him, a glower on my face. “Let go of me, Ryan,”

He looked down at our hands and as he met my gaze again, he slowly let go of me. I felt a strange drop in my stomach when I felt the ghost feel of his hands.

I asked him to. I reminded myself. This was why I never wanted to meet him again.

“Do you hate me that much Sophie?“

I raised a brow. “I think you've worded your statement wrongly,”

“No I've not, and that's exactly how I feel,”

“I've waited for eight years to let you give me the chance to say-”

“Let's not talk about what happened eight years ago, Ryan. If it's not yet quite obvious, I'm not interested in it anymore,”

He took a step forward. “Well, I am. We can't ignore these things,”

I ran a hand through my hair in frustration.

“I came here because I wanted to take a break. Not for you, not for anybody,”

“I'm only being polite with you because I respect Zara. And I'm only out here with you now because I had no choice and you promised you'd leave me after today,”

I raised a brow daringly. “Are you not going to keep that promise too?“

I could see the hurt in his eyes as those words slipped out of my lips and even though a little voice hidden somewhere in me was begging me to take back my words, I did not. I was right, to begin with.

“I've always kept my promise to you,” he whispered. Right before he walked past me, I noticed the hardened look on his face.

I watched him walk away, holding myself from going after him. I crouched to the floor just as soon as he walked out of my view.

I shut my eyes, cursing inwardly that my tears don't drop.

This was what I wanted when I saw him right? For him to walk away from me and not look back. And he just did that, so why was I feeling kind of funny?

'I know what I want and it's not any kind of relationship or reconciliation with Ryan fucking Caddel so what is this stupid emotion?

I don't want it.'

I felt tears slide down my cheeks and I raised my shaky fingers to wipe it, staring at the drops. Suddenly, a white handkerchief was stretched towards me.

“Are you alright, miss?“ an unfamiliar male voice followed that act. I sniffed and slowly looked up.

I was met with a man looking down at me with a worried look on his face. On closer look, I felt that I'd seen him somewhere but I couldn't figure out where.

I politely ignored the handkerchief stretched out to me and got on my feet, dusting out my clothes.

“Thank you. I'm fine,”

He nodded and gestured for me to take it. “You can take it. It's safe,”

I shook my head. “I don't need it thank you,”

“You might need it later.”

I raised my head to look at him properly, already annoyed that he was pushing it too far.

Why can't people understand that sometimes other people need to be left alone to wallow in their misery?

“Can you just let me be?!“ I snapped. I immediately regretted speaking so rudely when he drew back a little, his hands falling to his sides.

I sighed, running my hands down my face.

Now I was taking my frustration out on strangers.

“I'm sorry I didn't mean to be rude,” I muttered.

He gave a warm smile.

“It's okay. I shouldn't have bugged you a lot,”

I forced a smile. Suddenly his phone began to ring and he took it out of his pocket. He glanced back at me after taking a quick look at it.

“Please take care of yourself miss,”

I nodded and watched him turn around, walking away as he spoke to the person on the phone.

I sighed and pulled out my phone from my pocket to check the time.

A little after eight pm. Ryan should have gone by now.

Agreeing to him this morning was a big mistake, I knew but I let whatever was wrong with me get over my head.

Hours later…

Zara wrapped her arms around me as she pulled the door open. I stood still, not returning her gesture.

“I've been trying to call you, what happened?!“

She let go of me as we walked into the house.

“My phone died,”

“Oh, I was worried something happened, “

I crossed my arms. “Why? You are part of the people that think I can't take care of myself too, and I'll mess things up?“

She paused, her face drawing up in surprise. “Sophia, I don't mean it like that,”

“So why did you tell Ryan about the plans we made? And how was it a coincidence that you suddenly couldn't go with me and he's suddenly there too?“

“Just because I said I was going to be polite with him doesn't mean you can do that,”

She sighed. “I shouldn't have told him about the plans we made. You are right, but I swear I told him not to come here. You know how Ryan is, right?“

“Of course you did,”

I shook my head and turned away from her, walking towards the room.

Everything happening now was my fault. I thought it would be more of a relief to come back to this country, forgetting everything I went through. Even opting to stay at Zara's was a stretch.

…

I sat on the bed, after pulling my hair into a bun, and settled my laptop on my bed.

I turned it on. As I waited for it to do so, my mind traveled back to the stranger I vented out on, and then my argument with Zara minutes ago.

Maybe I had done a bit too much. Ryan did say he ignored Zara's plea not to come here, but I still think my anger was valid and she shouldn't have told him anything about me.

'Still, you shouldn't have spoken to her like that,'

I ran my hands down my face, groaning loudly.

“My freaking emotions are just making me act like an asshole,”

I lowered my hand from my face to pick up my phone.

“I should seek help.“

I placed a quick call to Aimee, asking her to place my company building up for sale.

I needed to leave here as soon as I could. I needed to avoid seeing Ryan as much as I could. As long as I was here, I couldn't hide from him.

The sooner, the better. The past was not something I wanted to revisit anytime soon, not especially this time in my life when I could barely think properly.