Chapter 79

We have been here for almost a few minutes but none of us intend to speak. We could only hear the gusts of wind as we both watched the sunset.

“Are you calmer now? Should we go down already? ”

My gaze returned to Gunther who was also staring at my face. I nodded at him as a smile flashed on my lips.

I looked down for a moment when I noticed that he was handing something to me. When I saw what it was a handkerchief shovel he was giving.

“Wipe your face. I don’t know if you want him to see you hurt and cry, but I don’t think that showing your damp face to the wedding coordinator would be nice right before your wedding, am I wrong? ” Gunther said softly.

Honestly even though he sometimes shows me a warm personality it is the very first time I have heard such a tone of his speech. He really sounded concern to me and the gleam on his eyes which was also hit by a bit of orange light due to the sunset, it gives me a warm feeling.

I did not answer him and then immediately accepted the handkerchief he handed me. It’s good that maybe Jaxson didn’t know I was crying because of what I witnessed. And even more it won’t help if someone else notices my wet cheek like the wedding coordinator. Maybe they will have even more doubts about Jaxson and I's marriage.

It just hurts me more to think that even after what I felt, feeling betrayed and disappointed, I still have to act the same way that I used to be. I can't walk away and distance myself from Jaxson. I have no right to act like that. And who am I to do that anyway? It is in our signed contract and Jaxson have already done much for me so I really can’t betray our agreement.

I have to set aside whatever this is that I am feeling right now.

“Here, you can also fix your hair before we go down. The other strands of your hair have also stuck to your face because it has become sticky from your dried tears. ”

I let out a chuckle when I saw that he pulled the comb out of the pocket of his suit.

"That was so weird." I said as I still can’t suppress my guffaw.

“What? That I am carrying a comb? ”

I nodded at his question with a soft giggle.

“I don’t think it was that bizarre for you to laugh that loud!” He almost shouted back at me at the same time as his loud laugh because maybe of my contagious laugh.

“You are so funny, Catt-”

“Ms. Santos. ”

Gunther was interrupted when we heard a deep and horrible cold voice from behind me so even my laughter softly faded while Gunther immediately got up from his seat next to me and then sparingly bowed.

I knew that voice so I didn't have to look back.

“You should finish your sentence with Ms. Santos, Gun. Did you forget that? ” He continued, still the frigid of his callous attitude lingers.

Jaxson followed us here on the rooftop. Why is that? Maybe Daniella and I are done. It’s now time for his play date. Or should I say, the woman who pretends to interrupt their infidelity.

“Didn’t we already have a talk? Call her Ms. Santos until she became Mrs. Madrigal. Was that really hard to- ”

"Does it even matter what he calls me?" I interrupted him.

I also feel a little sorry for Gun who is now just bent over and nodding at what Jaxson is saying as if he were a dog being scolded by his guardian.

"Gun can call me anything he wants." I added, also with a hostile tone. “Are there some rules in the contract about not being friends with my personal guard? I suppose none. ” I stood up in my seat and decided to stand up in my seat.

Honestly, being mad at Jaxson is something that I feel like I am not valid to feel, but it happens to me. Rage and disgust is growing inside me beating all the pity I once felt for her.

Where is the man who is weak and I want to protect? The truth is that he is not only fooling his family with his dirty ploy. Even I am included in it. Which is making me not in my right mind.

“I know that there’s no such thing as that in our contract, Cattleya. But you, being out here with your personal guard that I, myself, assigned doesn't sit right to me. ”

"Enough with your nonsense." I said fiercely, unwilling to hear whatever Jaxson is left to say. “Let’s just go downstairs and meet the wedding coordinator. That’s what we are supposed to be doing anyway. That’s the only reason why I am here. ” I uttered in a glacial tone, giving him a passionless gaze before I started walking out and passed him.

I didn't speak and just quietly walked with Gunther and Jaxson towards his office.

I have to talk to Finn. At least maybe I'll just leave a message with him later on friendsbuck. I do like to help Jaxson, but I don’t think that I am going further. I am going back to where I started, and to where I really belong. I'm not really supposed to be interfering and digging into his past because all I need is to stay as his wife for a year. But I have no regrets that I tried to atleast make him happy and cheer him up as much as I could.

Now that I know that he is not that sad and hurt, I don’t think that I need to avoid him like Daniella and Lance as I was the reason why I came here. In fact, maybe that's why he didn't want to take me with him at first because I was an obstacle to their meeting. And earlier while I was away they used the time to meet in his office and have a romantic moment, with Jaxson’s step brother’s baby inside Daniella’s womb. It’s disgusting and really disappointing.

That's how it feels to be fooled by someone you trust so much. It's as if heaven and earth have fallen on you and it's as if someone is squeezing your heart because it's so painful that you can't understand the feeling. Just all you know, is you are hurting. And to see that person with others, is painful and as if the house of cards you built in front of you collapsed. It’s really an excruciating pain.

"The coordinators also brought some wedding gowns that they told me you will try on so you can pick for your look tomorrow." Jaxson said as we were in the elevator down the floor.

I just listened to what he said and let silence answer his question.

When we finally got to her office I made no mistake and we were greeted by wedding coordinators who in my old age were Charlotte and Isabella.

“Good afternoon, Mr. Madrigal and Ms. Cattleya. We have arranged almost everything and what there’s more left is the catering that Ms. Cattleya requested, and- ”

"No." I interrupted. "You can go with what you recommended yesterday." I said sparingly.

“Are you sure, ma’am? We have also prepared the food that has been- ”

“Yes. I am sure. ” I tried to feigned a smile because even though my mood is not good today I don’t want to be rude to them because they are not at fault they are just one of the millions of people that we are fooling.

I sensed that Jaxson was staring right in my face as well as Charlotte and Isabella exchanging glances.

“Okay, then if that's your decision Ms. Cattleya ay we will finalize it today as well. We may now proceed to the gown and suit fitting if you are ready. ”

I nodded in response to her question and then followed Isabella to a small and long tent so that she could wear the gown. It's like a portable cubicle but a portable dressing room where people can't see me outside. It also has mirrors inside and lights.

“Okay Ms. Cattleya, you’re going to have a five wedding gown fitting which your fiance acn help you decide. After trying one, you can come out outside to show him the dress and the look. ”

****

Whenever I am fortunate to do nothing and have free time, I always make sure to treat myself with some romantic movies. And based on how it usually happens in the movies, wedding gown fitting is always the most exciting part of the story. I feel like my heart is jumping in ecstatic whenever the main characters do that, because I know that when such a scene happens, the story is approaching the ending part which is I always expected as a happy ending in a wedding.

But, as some say, movies stay in movies. Not all the romantic movies we watch actually happen in real life. Well, maybe to other people yes there is a possibility that they actually are lucky to find the right person to share that special moment with, unfortunately, I will never experience that kind of feeling.

I'm sure that when I get out there, Jaxson will just tell me that it's up to me to shop for what I want to wear because I'll be the one wearing it. It's not like in shows and fiction books that the groom really cares and is mesmerized by the beauty of the bride.

"This wedding gown looks good in your body, Ms. Cattleya. The shape of your body is more visible as well as the beauty of your shoulders is exposed. You look flawless. Here, you can turn around and see yourself in the mirror.”

I smiled at him a little and then followed what he said. I even had a little trouble moving because the first wedding gown she measured me for was too tight.

When I saw myself in the mirror, as narcissist as it may sound, but what he said was right and the outside of my body looked beautiful in this wedding gown. It was a long tube gown surrounded by heavy diamonds, which fit my body and only started to expand at my feet because it had a long piece of fabric that stuck to the floor. My hands crawled up my hips up to my waist. It's well defined and really shows off the shape of my body. I pulled the gown up to cover my chest more and it wouldn't fall off. This dress is a bit heavy.

"Should I tie your hair, Ms. Cattleya so we can also see the backless part of the dress?” Isabella added. I only looked at him to give a modest nod and smile.

I'm not in a good mood to be talkative and full of words because I still feel dissapointed and upset from what I saw earlier. That's why the only thing I can do is give them forced smiles and nods so that somehow they don't think that I am snobbing them and I am acting very rudely because I know that they would never understand my actions.

After he took the strand of my hair in his hand, he wrapped it around and then tied it into a bun. Isabella came out of the portable dressing room first and then supported me.

"Mr. Madrigal, this is the first design that we prepared minus the veil that Ms. Cattleya would wear it.” Isabella said before she finally got out.

I bent down to look at my feet and make sure I wouldn't trip. I also gently pulled its back to follow me along with my steps. I adjusted the bottom of it and then slowly looked up at Jaxson to wait for his decision.

"You can see, as she turns around there is this one big backless part that somehow goes and is traced down by some diamonds and sheer matte fabric. This gown has a silhouette of a mermaid that really defines her body, and in my opinion, she looks perfect in it.”

“V-Very tempting.” I caught him with his eyes wide like a doe and his mouth agape for a moment.

I watched him take a deep breath without saying anything. I just don't want to talk to him just yet.

"She's beautiful." Jaxson murmured that caught my attention. “But that screams danger. So, shall we see the next option?”

I couldn't help but roll my eyes upwards. I mean, yes he can have an opinion or even choose whatever he wants me to wear but changing in gowns is not as easy as it is in some movies. In fact it's really tiring and very troublesome.

****

"This second gown that Ms. Cattleya wear is called fit-and-flare. It has a silhouette that has similarities to the mermaid style which she had worn earlier, but this time, this gown flares out on her hip bones and is fitted through her upper body.”

My expression was just a straight face as well as my body as if it were a live mannequin. I'm also catching my breath because this dress is not that easy to wear.

"I like it." Jaxson uttered and it seemed that I suddenly came back to reality and came back to life. "But, I don't like the slit, straight from her neck. It almost goes down beyond people's reach.”

I didn't wait for what he said next and I immediately lifted the lower part of the gown to enter the fitting room again.

"Is he some fashionista or something? I'm wearing it nicely." I muttered a complaint as the door closed softly but with a bang.

****

“This dress is a simple and elegant column style. It has a fabric of silk that mixes with diamonds and silver designs. It's a minimalist classy silhouette that has one clean line from the top of her body down to his feet."

“It looks like what Emily would wear. Did it come from the 1980's? Let's see the next option."

I took a deep breath as I shut my eyes tight at the same time as I turned away from him. I don't want to burst out of anger in front of Charlotte and Isabella but Jaxson is really getting on my nerves. He is so cheeky. The dresses aren't even that ugly.

****

"This silhouette is what we call an A-Line. It fits on Ms. Cattleya's body and starts to flare out at her waist in a triangular fashion. This also came with a quarter sleeves that has an embroidered flowers, trimming of the lace and the entire gown is made with Satin. It's the most versatile fabric that is perfect for structured gowns like this. I think that it supports her body type and is a very good choice to give a soft yet elegant style to Ms. Cattleya, and her showing a bit of her back is a fantastic look.”

"I like it." Jackson uttered again.

I couldn't avoid suffering again because of his words. "You like it but what?" I asked rudely.

"I like it." He repeated with a chuckle. “I just like it. So much that I can't even understand.”