I was back in the Villa, lights turned off, and sitting on the bed with my legs crossed in front of me as I told my best friend all that went down this evening."So you were vomiting?""More like spilling my guts out," I sighed."And you feel weak too?""Yes doctor Celine, I feel a little weak too." I mocked, throwing my head back against the sheets. Despite the fact that she had her plate full with her own problems, I knew I could count on Celine to dive right into her role of over-protective always worrying mama duck ready to jump on the next flight to Milan just to make sure I was okay."do you have a diagnosis doctor?" I continued after the brief pause on her end.The sigh that filtered through the phone told me she was not going to say something I would like to hear and I had quite a good idea what she was about to say because I too had been questioning myself on the topic. "Actually, I do have a diagnosis, but I'm not sure you'd like it."I exhaled through my nose, "since when d
It was our first full day in Italy. My allergy had completely died down after the third glass of that tea Lucas had made me though I was sure it had more to do with me being enfolded in Lucas's arms as he took me in every way through the night. Lucas got the kids ready for our day at the beach, while I packed all the stuff we needed.I rolled my window down, sucking in the sharp crisp air through my nose as we took the drive through the quaint town leading to the beach. Despite the rowdiness of the tourists and visitors making their way about, taking pictures of the timbered buildings on the sidewalk next to the narrow road, it still retained its old-fashioned yet attractive vibe and that charm of a small town. It was different from everything I had always known and I was grateful for the change, having lived all of my life in the noisy and overcrowded atmosphere of the city."How are you feeling now?" Lucas's voice startled me back to the present.I turned to find him staring at me a
And don't forget to send me pictures. Really I'll kill you if you do not.I smiled, shaking my head as I read the message on my phone screen from my best friend. Celine was the happiest to hear that I was finally getting a break from my break if that made any sense. I quickly typed a response across the screen and dumped my phone on the bed next to my suitcase.7 days had breezed past like 7 hours and after a week of activities with the kids, Lucas and I were finally leaving on our trip for some alone time. Some much needed, much desired, much deserved alone time. I mean after all our relationship had been through.Lucas's large arm looped around my waist and his scent filled my senses. His voice was thick when he spoke, "Hey muffin,"I sighed and sagged my body against his, my eyes roamed my empty suitcase as I contemplated what to pack for this three-day getaway. "I don't know what to pack,""You don't have to pack anything, a few bikinis is probably too much actually," Lucas said a
I'm doing it!I'm diving from an airplane and now I'm halfway through successfully skydiving.And yes—I'm still alive and am not dead from horror.I was freefalling through the clouds, harnessed with Lucas as we zipped through every layer that brought us closer and closer to the surface. The rays from the sun above us mirrored over the surface of the water, making the deep blue of the sea glisten and sparkle. All I could hear was the air whooshing through my ears and the chill of rushing breeze slapping violently against my skin, my vision was blurry and I felt dizzy from the adrenaline pumping through my veins. Everything was going so fast like I was on a bullet train approaching a dead end with no power to control or stop it. It would have been enough to freak me out if the warmth of Lucas's body pressed against mine was not offering me more than enough comfort.Lucas's thick voice boomed through my ears and I was able to make out the word, "...ready?" before he was cut off by the a
It was easy to forget all of the world's worries, locked away on this island which I never wanted to leave. It was our own little slice of perfection, our guarded haven inhabited by just the two of us. I had not felt this free—this happy—in so long, even in my time spent with Aiden and Abby.The air still lingered with the savory and tangy scent from lunch—a mixture of potato salad, chicken, and a bowl of fruits accompanied by a glass of red wine that Lucas whipped up. Shocking because I had never seen the man do more than make himself a coffee. It melted my heart to see how far he was going to make this perfect.The orange-yellow of the sun slowly setting beyond the horizon glistened over the water as it rocked back and forth in slow waves. It was a near hypnotic sight.
After waking up on the shore, naked and soaked in the warmth of sleeping next to Lucas all night, I wondered why people went to such great lengths for the comfort of the king sized beds and luxurious bedrooms. Maybe it was because I had all I needed right here with me, except Abby and Aiden—I was sure Lucas could make arrangements to have them over, and maybe we could start our own little family here too—but this was the highest form of comfort to me. And I never wanted to go back home.If wishes were horses, right.I could at least savor this delicious moment where I watched the sunrise slowly on my boyfriend's handsome face. With his arms draped around me possessively, it took a little effort to turn to my side without waking him up. That effort though was rewarded by the sight of how peaceful Lucas loo
In the last 24 hours, I had received one surprise on top of the other. And while a few of them were a little extreme, I loved every single one, and more importantly, I loved how much closer it brought me to Lucas.This was no different.I closed my eyes, tightening my arms around Lucas's neck as he walked through the curtain of water cascading down in heavy beats. When I opened them, we were in a small, curved space. The rocky walls were rough-hewn and there was a different kind of coolness to it. After a few seconds of roaming my eyes around in both amazement and wonder, I got a hint. Tilting my head I gave Lucas a small but loving smile, "A cave?"In a gentle motion, he placed me back on my feet, his arms still wrapped around me and making me lean in
Lucas's side of the bed was empty when I woke up. The water had risen significantly when we returned from the waterfall and as magical as it seemed, it would be suicide to attempt to sleep on the beach tonight. I bit back a yawn, stretching as I adjusted my eyes to the darkness.My muscles ached deliciously, my body remembering all the ways Lucas had taken me after we returned from our adventurous day. It was all marathon sex, followed by lunch, then swimming, and repeat.Wrapping the duvet around my clothless body, I threw my legs over the bed and paddled my way through the small cottage in search of Lucas. A glowing fire outside caught my attention, informing me just where he was as I stood out at the porch.I found him sitting on the white sand, some meters away from the fire. Taking a few tentative steps from behind him, I lingered on a tree, drinking in the sight of him. The shape of his strong muscled figure was carved out in the darkness lit by the fire, leaving only a vague pi
Mia got married at the Terranea Resort. It was one of those places in California I had heard of but never so much as dreamt of being in. The ceremony took place by the beach cove overlooking the rolling mountains that gave way to a panoramic view of the sea. I was even more awed to see how they had turned it into the fairytale every girl dreamed of.The four pillar altar was decorated in red roses all around the roof—a befitting color for the month—with green branches curling around each pillar to the root. Red rose petals arranged in large cursive hearts littered the aisle leading to the altar, and golden candle lanterns were lit on either side. Even the seats were dressed in pink fabrics and red bows attached behind. It was like an early valentine's day, only more magical.The day became even more magical when Mia arrived in a carriage, yes a frigging carriage. As I got to my feet along with everyone else in attendance, I watched with the same awe and fascination with which I had wa
Christmas had never been anything special for me. I had spent my last two Christmas' before this working an all-day shift at work, wiping vomit off tables and getting yelled at by unhappy customers taking their anger and frustrations on me. Afterward, C and I would spend the morning drinking on a rooftop and dancing to Fuck Christmas by Eric Idle. It was not exactly like I was the grinch or that I forbade the holiday spirit, there really was just nothing to celebrate or be happy for. After spending most of my childhood holidays hoping I would escape some beating or screaming from the matron on duty at the foster care that day who would rather be drinking her guts out on her day off, it was not exactly my favorite time of the year, so I said a big fuck you to it every year.This year though, it was a whole different story. Like I had stepped into this perfect, in your dreams life belonging to someone else. And for the first time in my life, the reality was the more preferable option. T
Where do I begin? From our awkward first meeting to having bad guys and crazy exes thrown in jail, Lucas and I had been through one hell of a journey. The longest one I had ever been through my adulthood, I would dare to say. It was amazing to think how much my life had changed in the months I had known Lucas and the twins. I had gone from independent and never needing anyone besides my best friend to this woman who could not even do so much as breathe without them."Are you okay?" Celine asked, tilting her face to meet mine in the mirror."Nervous," I said, going for honesty as I tugged on the hem of the white fitted dress clinging to my body."'Oh bess," she cooed, adjusting my veil, "you have every right to be, it's your big day."I smiled sheepishly at the thought, staring down at the ring on my finger that would be joined by another in a few minutes, "It is my big day. Oh my God, I'm getting married bess." The words slammed a fresh dose of unrestrained happiness against my heart
Every story I'd hard about the afterlife was a big fat lie. There were no angels in white robes, no opera waiting to usher me into the gates of heaven but then again who said I was going to heaven. The pain shooting up my body felt everything like hell, or at least I knew the one coming would. I clamp my eyes closed tighter as I lay on the floor in what I know is my pool of blood, waiting for the pain I hope to come. She succeeded and I let her win, I let Sarah shoot me. There was no longer going to be the amazing sex with Lucas, no spending afternoons with the kids, no harmless gossips disguised as Sunday lunch dates with my best friend. No more of Lucas's family, all of that was now simply gone, just gone.The thought left a hot burning scar on my throat and I gasped, fighting to take in the air that was not coming. This really was it, I had lost and she had won. But the arms suddenly wrapping me in a warm embrace felt too familiar to be related to the icy feeling of dying."Chris?!
You know that feeling when you wake up to a day that just feels off right from the moment you open your eyes? It could be the harsh rays of the sun nearly blinding and forcing you to wake up early on a Saturday morning or the annoying sound of your alarm reminding you that it's a Monday Morning again after you spent Sunday evening drinking your guts out. That small, seemingly unimportant detail in your morning that makes sure you have a bad rest of your day. I was having one of those mornings, but unlike most, I knew exactly why it was going to be a bad day.After laying motionless in the same spot for what felt like an eternity, body unwilling to move and mind refusing to come alive, I finally found a reason to get up, thanks to my pressing bladder. I walked back into the room after finishing my business and realized for the first time this morning, that Lucas was not here and the kids had not come to barge down my door in search of me.I knew Lucas would leave early for what he had
It was sweet effing relief. After almost two months here, we were finally making the trip back home. While there were less than relieving reasons involved, it still brought a wide grin to my face when the sound of the wheels scraping the runway of Lindbergh field reached my ears.Martha and Calvin were the first to welcome us home, with Calvin giving the usual manly hugs and pats on the back to his two sons and Martha going through a long streak of teary hugs and sobbing her thanks that her grandbabies were okay. She had insisted all three of them rode in their car with them as we came home from the airport. I realized it had probably been a wise choice to keep them oblivious to my pregnancy. Martha, for one, would have thrown a fit if her hopes of having a new grandchild were suddenly crushed by my miscarriage.After almost two months away, I had almost forgotten what it felt like to be normal. My usual routine, the one I had when my life was still a simple cycle of getting Abby and
What happened to the curious cat again? Ah yes, she got her neck snapped by her fiance's supposed best friend because she would not simply stay out of trouble. I was fairly sure, no most certainly positive that was what Adrian would do to me as his eyes bored into me with something that looked rather far from the friendliness I had seen when we first met. Maybe my body would be found in a nearby dumpster in a week or more.And then it hit me. Lucas had told me he was coming here to check on security hours ago and as I stood there scanning the room briefly, he was absolutely nowhere in sight. Oh, my God! Maybe he hurt Lucas and was now taking out whatever anger was left in him on Baron. I thought they were supposed to be best friends.The thought had not completely settled in my mind when a familiar figure stepped out of the shadows, wiping his hand on a towel stained in crimson. It was Lucas. He halted in his steps as his eyes landed on me, shock and a slightly less version of anger f
It was hard to tell how long we lay there, with me half-naked and asleep in Lucas' arms. But when I woke up to the light scruff of grass against my knee, the red-orange of the sky told me we had been there in that position for quite a while."I'm sorry," Lucas rasped, and I realized we had shifted from the position we were in when I fell asleep. Lucas sat with his back against the wall of the maze, holding me to himself. It was the closest we had been to each other, with the obvious exemption of how intimate we had been before I drifted asleep. "I didn't mean to wake you up,""How long did I sleep?" I asked, with quite an idea in mind."Not long enough, you needed the rest." he stroked my head as he spoke."You should have woken me," I gave a brief chuckle, followed by a wince at the numbness in my hands as I attempted to pull myself away from him and sit up.Lucas held on to me tighter though, tutting and shaking his head as he did. "I don't want you to leave just yet, stay here in m
I had not realized just how much I needed to breathe fresh air that was not sullied by a mixture of stale air, pills from the doctor, and a large dose of my sadness. For what first like the first time in forever, the sight of food did not make my stomach churn, or at least it did in the right way. The scent of freshly made orange juice and blueberry danishes set out on the picnic table only made my mouth water and my empty stomach growl. I turned to my best friend the closest thing I had to a sister with a smile. "You planned this?" Of course, she did. I had to be the luckiest human on the planet to have everyone I had in my life now. She rounded the table, taking her seat with a knowing smile. "I was hopeful that today would be a good day." I tilted my head, a fresh wave of guilt pulling at my chest. I had been so drowned in my sadness that I had completely neglected everyone, myself included. "I'm so sorry for shutting you out too, Bess." She shook her head tersely, "Nope, we ar