Chapter 3

Blue

I make it to Monica's just as the morning rush is starting. The guys behind the counter wave and smile at me as I head for the small stage. This place used to be a small bar with live karaoke, and when Monica bought it she decided to keep the small stage and have live performers play. She saw me playing one day at the park and asked if I wanted to play at her cafe, and I jumped at the opportunity. 

It's not that I expected to make it big with my singing or anything. Actually, I've never once thought about trying to become famous using my voice. I use what I can to make money and I happen to be an okay singer and guitar player. I'm no Adele but people seem to enjoy my performances so I keep doing it. 

The stage has a wooden stool, a mic with a stand, and a guitar all ready to go for me. I used to lug around my guitar when I came here but Monica told me to use the one here so I wouldn't hurt myself. Even after I objected several times she didn't waver and I gave in to her request. Besides this beauty is way nicer than mine and it plays like a dream. 

Monica walks from behind the counter and over to the stage. I stand off to the side and wait for her to introduce me. 

"Good morning everyone! I know that most of you are rushing off to work, but as usual, we have a lovely musician to serenade you as you wait for your coffee. Everyone, this is Blue!" She turns and smiles at me. 

She claps enthusiastically which encourages others to clap too. It's sweet and I blush a little every time. 

Once she steps off the stage I take a seat and look down at my fingers resting on the strings of the guitar. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. When I open my eyes I try to ignore the people watching me and pretend I'm performing for a single person. The only person I have ever wanted to play music for. 

It's a dumb fantasy but it helps me get my nerves under control. Slowly the people sitting on the mixed vintage furniture watching me start to blur away and my one fan sits there smiling at me. I smile back at the image and start playing.

My first song is one I wrote when I saw the Grand Canyon for the first time. The freedom I felt was like nothing I felt before. I felt untouchable which was something I dreamed about for so long. My first song melts into the next and when I'm three songs down I decide to add a few covers. 

My favorite song* When I'm Alone by Lissie* is next and transitions to *Sea Breeze by Tyrone Wells*. They are a lot calmer and fit the comfy cafe vibe better. My last song is *B.O.M.O by Tatiana Manaois*, and when I sing the last note the room erupts in applause. The sound jolts me out of the haze I create when I'm singing and I stand. I bow and carefully set the guitar back where it belongs. 

A few people tell me how well I sang as I make my way to the counter where Monica is working on a customer's drink. I stop at the waist-height swinging door that the employees use and wait for her to finish. 

"That was amazing Blue! I swear every time you play is better than the last. I wish you would let me contact that friend of mine." She told me about her friend who works as a talent agent, but I explained why I wasn't interested. 

The music industry is cutthroat and I don't want to take something I enjoy and taint it. When I sing it's because I want to not because I'm under contract to. 

"Hey, Tinker Blue." I roll my eyes at the lame nickname but the teasing smile it comes with makes it hard for me to be angry. "How are you doing beautiful?"

"Does your boyfriend know you flirt with me on the regular?" I ask Diego, one of the baristas. 

He laughs. "He knows I'm loyal to his crazy ass, but since he adores you just as much he might get a little jealous that he wasn't here to see you." 

I laugh and shake my head. "You two are crazy. I don't know what to do with you." 

"How about a kiss for this amazing latte I just made you?" He leans closer and holds the cup just out of reach. 

I narrow my eyes at him and lean forward like I'm going to kiss him but turn at the last second and grab the cup. 

He laughs. "Smart little street girl." 

"You bet your ass sweetheart." I wink at him and take a long swig of the perfectly made latte. "Where is your better half?" 

"He had some big case to work on today." He says with a shrug. 

Diego's boyfriend is a lawyer and from what I hear a pretty good one. He is also bisexual and since Diego has an odd thing for me they have tried to convince me to give a poly relationship a try, but I kindly refused. They're perfect as a duo and I'm only passing through. It's funny how you can meet such amazing people but still feel that urge to keep moving in life. 

"Well, tell my beau I say hi and stay out of trouble. By Monica!" I call out and try to make a quick exit but she catches me before I can sneak out. 

She has already paid me in advance this week, but she always tries to slide me a little extra each time. I don't want to make her feel like she needs to help me more than she has to but no matter what I do she gets her way. I have quickly learned how stubborn she can be. 

"Blue..." I cringe and turn. "Not once have you snuck out of here without me catching you, so what makes you think today would be any different?" 

I sigh in defeat. "One day I'll make it to the door at least. Seriously Monica what you pay me is enough." 

She shakes her head. "It's not. The amount of tips we get when you perform is crazy, and you deserve a cut. Ain't that right guys?" 

There are a few words of agreement from the other employees and I know I've lost. They are all so nice to me and none of them have ever been upset to share their tips with me. It's people like them that make me believe kindness still exists. They don't know me well, but they still treat me like one of their own. It makes me emotional every single time. 

"Just take the money Blue." Cole, one of the other baristas says sounding exasperated by the scene we play out every time. 

If I didn't know him I would be embarrassed but his love language is snark. 

"Thank you, guys." They smile at me and Diego sends me a sassy wink. 

"Look Blue, you can always come to me for help. If you want more days to perform or even jump behind the counter we will make it happen. You know that." 

I do. Monica has been so sweet and has offered me a way out of my situation, but I know the dangers of it. Depending on people like that can come back to bite you, and I don't want to risk it. Plus she's a small business owner and it isn't easy to employ someone like me who doesn't even have a home. 

"I'm good Mon, thank you though." I take the envelope she hands me and waves to her and the others as I head for the door. 

When I step outside I feel the familiar tightness in my chest that I get every time I leave here. It's when the fear and anxiety of performing finally hits. I'm able to push it down to get through my set but I can't ignore it forever and sometimes it crashes down on me hard. It's probably something I would see a doctor about if I had health insurance but since I don't I have to deal with it. 

I'm not paying attention to the people around me as I make my way to the park. It's where I got to calm down. 

"Hey, you!" Someone yells and I startle when I man steps into my path. "I know you." 

"What?" I stammer out while looking around and seeing more people staring at me. "I-I'm sorry I have to go." 

Before he can grab me I make a run for it. 

What was that? Why were all those people looking at me?? And why did that guy try to grab me?