Chapter 3.

"S-She's pregnant?" I heard my mother say.

I looked at the ceiling with empty thoughts. I felt my tears flowing down to my cheeks. I couldn't move my body properly. I felt my eyes were in pain, so is my head and chest. It felt like I was stabbed.

“Yes, Mrs. Lux. She's two weeks pregnant. Congratulations," I heard the doctor said. “Now, as for her condition—”

"Wait! Wait!” Mom cut the Doctor's words. "H-How? How did she get pregnant? She never experienced such a thing, Doc. My daughter is a virgin!”

What I feel became heavier. She doesn't know about what happened to me. She was very scared and worried when she saw me throwing up on the kitchen.

I sobbed when I felt someone caressing my hand. I know that it was my big brother, Lock. He heard everything they've said yet he was calm and focusing how to make me calm.

I've been crying for a while now.  They asked me what hurts but I didn’t answer them. I am afraid that they will know what happened to me. I'm afraid that they will be mad at me and throw me out of the house. I just graduated yet but I'm already a burden to them. And now... I am pregnant, I don't know how to talk to them anymore. I'm scared.

The doctor smiled as if she realized something. "Mrs. Lux, you're daughter is pregnant because of a sexual intercourse with a man. We also cannot be lying because we took several tests and it went positive. We also scanned her body. We saw that she's not a virgin. She just lost it."  I cried even more because of what I’ve heard.

They already know. They already know that I have lost my virginity. I am now dirty like a mud. I am a dirty person for being pregnant even though I am just twenty-two. I am a disgrace to the family.

"B-But..." I heard my mother's voice cracked. "I-I don't know what to say..."

I know she is very surprised, as well as Lock. It's a miracle that he didn't speak.

I know he couldn't believe what was going on with me but he kept silent.  Mama didn't know what to do. She can't slap me or scold me because the doctor is here. But I know she was aching to make me feel that I am a disgusting being.

"That's not all, Mrs.  Lux. There’s more," she said, but my mother didn't answer. I know she was still shocked.

“What is it, Doctor?" my big brother finally talked.

My eyes were still looking at the ceiling, waiting for the doctor to say something. I have this feeling that it will be more shocking.

“You said that your sister was always stunned and always crying. You also said that she doesn't want to eat, drink, talk, and even go outside. She's always locked herself up," she sighed. "Don't you know what happened to her before she became like that? I mean, do you know what happened to her why she's acting like that?"

"No, Doc. But the first time I saw her like that was when I fetched her when she was drunk. I was curious why she’s in trance and can’t even walk properly. I asked her what's going on but she just stared at me weirdly and didn't even bother to answer," Lock explained.

The doctor sighed again. "She's in a trauma..."

"T-Trauma? What do you mean, Doc?” Mama now asked.

"You're daughtwr was suffering from trauma because of sexual abuse. It's either she was harassed or raped.  She's suffering from anxiety and depression that leads her to act like that. She's scared of everything. It also results in always being in trance, not eating, crying, going out, and not talking." She stopped for a few seconds. "That's not the only thing that will happen to her. She will be violent and lose herself if the her memories that night comes back. I'm sorry, Mrs. Lux. But the patient needs you right now. If you planning to scold your child, don't try. It will make her condition worst.”

Because of what the Doctor said, my memories of that night suddenly returned. I forgot the whole incident but I remember how the man with gray eyes raped me. How I screamed and begged him to let me go and not do those things. But he insisted and did what he wanted.

I found myself shouting and crying while I am hearing my family's shout.  I felt someone holding me but I try to push it and squeeze against the head of the bed. I shouted and begged him to stop.

I heard a lot of people murmuring and even crying. I ignored them. Not until someone grabbed my wrist to stop me. I struggle and struggle to move. I shouted and shouted until I felt a sharp thing on my shoulders.  After a minute, I became calm. I slowly felt weakened until I lost consciousness.

"Sleep tight, Little sister. I'll do everything to take care of you along with your child and cure you, I promise."

 ***

"B-Brother… it’s painful!" I cried and held tightly to his hand. I can't breathe properly because of the pain.

“Shh. You've got this, Little Sis. You can do it, for your son," he eased me.

I was moaning in pain until we're inside the O.R. Lock wouldn't have been able to go to inside, but we both insisted. I need him beside me.

I was in my room when my nine month old stomach became painful.  I found out that I was going to give birth soon. I called Lock who was in the kitchen with my Mom. When they found out what happened to me, they panicked. Big brother even stuck like a statue, doesn't know what to do. I thought that I was going give birth at home, but thankfully, they were back to their senses and brought me here.

"Push! Mrs. Shut up!” the female doctor shouted so I screamed and cried. "One more!"

"Ahhh!" I held my brothers hand tightly because of pain. It's like my whole being was torn because of what I feel.

My brother kept on saying something I couldn't hear. I was doing was moaning and moaning even though it was so painful. I have to get my son out! I want to see my child!

"You can do this, Mrs. One more!  Just one push, Mrs. The baby will be out!” the doctor shouted again.

"You heard that, Little Sis? Just one more push and you will be done. Come on, the prince is waiting to be born," Lock said happily in my ear.

Even though I was feeling weak, I smiled. He’s right. I need to be strong. My baby was waiting to be born.

"I will count to three, Mrs. You should push loudly, okay?” I weakly nodded. “Okay! And One… two… three!”

"Aaaahhhh!" I let out a strong Moan causing me to fall on the bed while panting. My breath was catching but I was still clinging to brother.

All of the exhaustion that I felt disappeared when I heard my son's first cry. When I looked at him. He was crying on one of the nurse's arms.

"My god... Sh*t..." I heard brother whisper.

I ignored him and just waiting to take my son on my arms. And when the nurse gave him to me slowly, I couldn't stop crying while looking at him. He stopped crying and looked at me with his ash eyes.

"H-He's beautiful..." I sobbed.

"He indeed is. He’s like an angel who came down from heaven," Lock agreed.

 I smiled and touched his little hands.  "My precious gem."

I didn't think the time would come when I would have a baby.  In the darkest situation, there was only one thing I didn't regret. That's having a son as beautiful as me.

"What are you going to name him?"  my brother suddenly asked.

I played on his hand before smiling gently. "Maxim Elias Lux."

Thank you for coming to my life, my baby. My life is now for me and you.  I will heal for you, my son. Promise.